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Aug 8, 2014 06:43
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 18:52 |
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Aug 8, 2014 07:21
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*single tear*
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Aug 8, 2014 09:47
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poo poo is getting too dark around here..... if ya know what i mean
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Aug 8, 2014 10:19
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Ghaz posted:poo poo was getting too dark around here..... if ya know what i mean ftfy.
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Aug 8, 2014 10:42
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this feels so weird to read and think about, holy poo poo
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Aug 8, 2014 10:56
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One of the reasons my parents never accepted me was because of my X-Man-like abilities, one of which is the power to survive on much less sleep than the average human. Due to this special power, I awoke the next morning after a brief 8 1/2 hours of sleep. As usual, I was instantly alert. I sat up in bed, carefully lifted my spectacles from the bedside table, and attached them to my face. "Good morning." I muttered, eyes blinking as the adjusted to the sunlight streaming in through the sheer window curtains and falling up the lush floral patterns on my bed sheets. "Good morning sweetheart" Said a raspy, feminine voice from beside me. I turned, and was mildly surprised to find Starlight lying in bed beside me.
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Aug 8, 2014 13:25
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Future posts will read 'You're no a starwar betamax'.
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Aug 8, 2014 13:26
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It seemed the right conclusion to things. "This was the way things should be, and not some other way." I whispered, sagely. I had corrected the universe, I had removed the one source of pain and fear and rejection and bad breath that was Matt. Now the world could continue the way it was meant to be. She sat up beside me, her blonde hair pouring from her head, a waterfall made out of yellow hair instead of water. She swung her feet over the side of the bed and stood up. "I'll get breakfast" She yawned. Her Taz' teeshirt draped over her body like a Greek toga.
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Aug 8, 2014 15:13
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In the critically acclaimed video game Deus Ex: Human Revolution, you assume the role of a man who has been cybernetically augmented with nanomachines, you truly are a cyborg, half man...half machine. These augmentations allow you to perform superhuman feats of strength as you advance the award-winning plot that, frankly was superior to any Hollywood movie I have seen recently, however I will add one caveat and that caveat is that I haven't seen a Hollywood movie in several months so there may be some good ones out by now. Regarding cybernetic augmentation, I thought that maybe something like that would come in handy when I discovered, much to my chagrin, that I had no hands. My arms ended in smooth stumps at the wrists.
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Aug 8, 2014 15:20
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Aug 8, 2014 15:29
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Oh poo poo. TWIST.
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Aug 8, 2014 16:16
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Birds beat their wings against the windows and the sussuration whisper was pleasing. It was some time past noon, and raining. A body (whose?) festered on top of a pile of gi joe posters. Brain matter, blood and urine obscured Scarlets face but her eyes were always too close together for Matt's ghost. It supposed that roadblock always had the most symmetrical features but in life it was never gay (human being). Is death any different? It passed an ethereal hand through the area its genitals used to be, disappointed; there was no JO in the afterlife. It used to JO when it had a body. Sometimes with another. Yet still it went through the motions, out of spite. The beating of wings on glass grew louder as Matt's Ghost ruminated on the death it received so unjustly. Beaten to death by a hard drive filled with breaking bad fanfiction was at least in its top five least dignified ways to die. The amount of post-mortem defecation was unexpected however and Gokus majestic features were now a Jackson Pollock of poo poo and piss. It supposed now would be appropriate to practice becoming a poltergeist, or perhaps a ghast
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Aug 8, 2014 16:46
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I like Dig Dug.
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Aug 8, 2014 17:56
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a starwar betamax posted:With each button press I made sure to demonstrate my dissatisfaction with the situation by puffing out my cheeks and blowing air out of my nostrils in a muted snort. I would also occasionally add to the effect by shaking my head and rolling my eyes. this is some top notch emoting broseph
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Aug 8, 2014 18:18
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWn89GSfy9o the color of a dead channel
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Aug 8, 2014 18:41
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It was kind of good until you got to the animaniacs part
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Aug 8, 2014 23:38
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Magnus Gallant posted:It was kind of good until you got to the animaniacs part then it got kind of GREAT
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Aug 9, 2014 00:18
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"Oh sweetheart..." Starlight said as she reentered the room which contained our marriage bed that I was still sitting on, "You left your prosthetics downstairs" She tossed a pair of objects into my lap. Grey denim. Simplistic design. Crude caricatures of human hands. In my lap lay the missing hands from the mannequin.
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Aug 9, 2014 03:02
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My stumps were drawn to the denim mannequin hands magnetically, in much the same way that a magnet would be drawn to another magnet or a piece of metal that is magnetic. As my arms neared them, they began to vibrate and shift upon the sheets, almost alive. With a lurch, they sprang into place on my arms, instantly fusing themselves into place by some unknown means that was entirely unknown to me. I lifted my new hands in front of my face and turned them front to back. I tried flexing my hands, just slightly, and they responded by frantically clutching at the air in violent spasms.
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Aug 9, 2014 03:07
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I have often garnered many compliments from my friends about my fine motor control and dexterously. There are few men who can please a woman the way I do with my fingers when I masterfully play the flute. I have taught my self several sleight-of-hand cards tricks and spent hours performing in front of a mirror, knowing that one day the world would be ready. There is this one gesture I do where I hold my hand horizontal and wiggle my fingers while tilting my head to one side and saying "Ehh" that very accurately conveys my emotions to the cashier when they ask me if I would like to donate to the Red Cross. Were these days over? Would I never complete the Candy Crush Saga?
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Aug 9, 2014 03:15
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Holy poo poo why cannot I not find that clip of Ashton Kutcher waking up with no hands in The Butterfly Effect?
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Aug 9, 2014 03:18
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5
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Aug 9, 2014 06:16
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I tossed the floral bed sheets aside and sprung out of bed like a slinky in reverse, looking down, I saw that I was still wearing my wear pants and favorite tee shirt from the day before. "Those really needed to be washed" Starlight said from the other side of the room as she puled her taz' tee shirt over her head and tossed it into a clothes hamper. "Maria starts at 10 and I'll have her do the laundry first thing" I averted my gaze from her disrobed body to my own clothes. Rumpled, wrinkled, specks of dry blood and streaks of bird feces. Across my chest was a random spattering of the silly-putty like material that I recognized as the remnants of Matt's face. "Hurry up silly, the kids wanted to cook us breakfast this morning so we better get down there before they set off the smoke detector" I looked back at her in time to see her attaching the various articles of women's underwear to her body parts.
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Aug 9, 2014 13:58
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I was unable to move a muscle or shift my gaze from her as she quickly dressed, pulling on a pair of shorts that looked like the kind people wear when they play sports, and a tee shirt of a band that wasn't PoD. After giving me one final affectionate smile and a knowing shake of the head, she left the room. I slithered out of my own clothes and then approached our walk-in closet. It took me a moment to find the section that belonged to me, and I was glad to find all my familiar clothing hanging there. I ripped down a fresh pair of sweatpants and my favorite Game of Thrones tee and put them on as fast as I could even though my newly acquired hands impeded me every step of the way, twitching and jerking, never doing what I wanted. "This must be what it is like to use an Apple product" I mused
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Aug 9, 2014 14:07
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Then I walked downstairs.
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Aug 9, 2014 14:07
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Allow me to preface this next section by saying that breakfast is very important to me. In fact, in my opinion, it is the most important meal of the day. I make sure my breakfast has the fuel I need for the day ahead. Of course in consists of one glass of Tang, four 'Smores Poptarts, a tube of Gogurt, and a Dr. Pepper. To deviate from this meal plan would be years of research wasted, I know precisely the amount of sugars and calories I need to make it to my mid-morning refuel at 10:00. When you lead an active lifestyle like I do, meals become strategic. So it stands to reason that I was more than a little hesitant about this so-called "breakfast" our children were making for me.
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Aug 9, 2014 14:13
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Aug 9, 2014 14:27
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Did Dad's right hand get mutilated in a gardening accident??
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Aug 9, 2014 14:37
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Eat the bacon first.
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Aug 9, 2014 14:40
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Magnus Gallant posted:Did Dad's right hand get mutilated in a gardening accident?? are you even reading the story
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Aug 9, 2014 17:02
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Magnus Gallant posted:Did Dad's right hand get mutilated in a gardening accident?? Mind your manipulative privilege.
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Aug 9, 2014 17:07
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Isn't star war betamax that topknot bad fashion dude?
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Aug 9, 2014 17:26
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Magnus Gallant posted:Did Dad's right hand get mutilated in a gardening accident?? It's a fake hand 
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Aug 9, 2014 19:33
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you irl posted:are you even reading the story Are you?
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Aug 9, 2014 19:47
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Magnus Gallant posted:Are you? yeah and ive already cum like twice
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Aug 9, 2014 20:56
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Magnus Gallant posted:Did Dad's right hand get mutilated in a gardening accident?? his digital watch is not on his sinister wrist. this means that either the protagonist is a southpaw, or that you have a birdlike fascination with mirrors.
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Aug 9, 2014 22:02
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Izumi Konata posted:his digital watch is not on his sinister wrist. this means that either the protagonist is a southpaw, or that you have a birdlike fascination with mirrors. I wear my watch on my right wrist, despite being right-handed. Partially, I do it just to fool the wannabe Sherlocks of the world like you.
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Aug 9, 2014 22:40
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Nameless_Steve posted:I wear my watch on my right wrist, despite being right-handed. Partially, I do it just to fool the wannabe Sherlocks of the world like you. keep digging, watson. if u dropped your iphone in the toilet, you would totes void the warranty on both your iwatch and nonprescription google glass. i know u like the back of a hairy palm.
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Aug 9, 2014 22:53
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 18:52 |
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Radical Catholic posted:holy poo poo Cormac McCarthy has an account Too much punctuation you philistine.
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Aug 9, 2014 23:03
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