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A Bad King


cruft posted:

Different place: I was called in to investigate an employee emailing out pornographic photos. From her work computer. Of herself.

was she hot?

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Bo-Pepper

Want some rye?
Course ya do!


Ben Smash posted:

Being the dog poo poo i am, I spit on a particularly foul salesman's chair a couple times, way back when.

wait what no stop being this kind of person

cruft


Angry Fish posted:

was she hot?

I was tempted to check on this, since my job was to recover the files, until I thought about it and realized that I really didn't want to find out!

(Because the answer was almost certainly "no")

bawbzilla

Angry Fish posted:

was she hot?

And did you save any of th e pictures

A Bad King


cruft posted:

I was tempted to check on this, until I thought about it and realized that I really didn't want to find out!

(Because the answer was almost certainly "no")

it was a rhetorical question of course she was fat.

Bwee

Angry Fish posted:

it was a rhetorical question of course she was fat.

Why's that

dad gay. so what

by FactsAreUseless

Bo-Pepper posted:

wait what no stop being this kind of person

hes pretty much dog poo poo

heard u like girls


cut the bottom out of a bunch of coffee cups so when they start the day they start with hotpants

heard u like girls


pretend yur boss is strangling u and beating yo up and film it

Ben Me Lowtax


In those reports i do I was catching an exec watching porn on the regular and nobody did poo poo for like 8 months. They didn't fire him but "suddenly" he wasn't hitting those URLs anymore.

heard u like girls


they had to sift thru the evidence obviously

dad gay. so what

by FactsAreUseless

Ben Smash posted:

In those reports i do I was catching an exec watching porn on the regular and nobody did poo poo for like 8 months. They didn't fire him but "suddenly" he wasn't hitting those URLs anymore.

this is the kind of dog poo poo thant makes people hate you

heard u like girls


hello dad gay did u get trained here too

Ben Me Lowtax


dad gay. so what posted:

this is the kind of dog poo poo thant makes people hate you

Did you, like, search my name to see what posts i've made and then rush in here to poo poo all over me? If so, I applaud your effort. May your fedora forever stay atop your fat head and your sonic the hedgehog slash fiction always be well received.

bawbzilla

shotss fired

Bo-Pepper

Want some rye?
Course ya do!


but seriously though don't spit on people's chairs

heard u like girls


awaiting in terror for the rebuttal

Salmiakki



Humans Among Us posted:

awaiting in terror for the rebuttal

verily carefree


spend progressively more time in the toilet. like first thing you do after you punch in is go to the toilet for 5 minutes. no big deal, you get to work at 8:05.

the next day 6 minutes, then 7, until you get fired.

H.H

August is the Cruelest Month
OP, from your posts assume you are a network engineer.

Here's what you do: unplug all the DMZ routers and any links to a DR site (if you have them), then walk out the door and never look back.


Oh, how many times I've dreamt about doing that sort of thing in past jobs...

dad gay. so what

by FactsAreUseless

you are a real piece of dog poo poo, op

joke_explainer



Ben Smash posted:

I want to go out in a funny way when I quit this place. Any posters who have chatted with me in BYOB chat know I fuckin' hate my job and the person I work for. The rub is that this place would be an excellent reference but I kind of want to go out in a blaze of glory.

My favorite "I quit" story involves a guy screaming "KIMBO SLICE, MOTHERFUCKERRR" and then breaking his keyboard on his cube wall.

I was thinking about stealing a bunch of pens...

man yelling poo poo or breaking anything isn't funny. people are edgy at work these days, no reason to give people a panic attack that someone is going nuts on the office.

just leave amicably, take your good reference and continue workin on your career.

cruft


Dennis Rasmussen posted:

man yelling poo poo or breaking anything isn't funny. people are edgy at work these days, no reason to give people a panic attack that someone is going nuts on the office.

just leave amicably, take your good reference and continue workin on your career.

Good advice but not very funny.

Ben Me Lowtax


dad gay. so what posted:

you are a real piece of dog poo poo, op

I get it, i get it.

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TED BUNNDY

SO HUNGRY

RulerSmack posted:

Smoke a huge blunt in the center of the office. Finish the entire thing before you leave.

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