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Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


Over in the N/V thread it was a slow day, so we started spitballing the best possible team composed of fictional players. Here is the thread to put together the best team you can.
    RULES:
  • Only one player per "franchise", no putting the entire Major League roster on the list
  • No 'real players playing themselves' like picking Ken Griffy Jr. from Little Big League
  • No superheroes or cartoons
GO!

Starting point:
1B: Mr. Go
2B: Marla Hooch
SS: Henry Skrimshander
3B: Ed
C: Crash Davis

OF: Roy Hobbs
OF: Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez
OF: Worf, Son of Mogh

Bench/Org Depth: Kelly Leak
Stan "Mr. 3000" Ross

SP: Steve Nebraska
SP: Sidd Finch
SP: Mel Clark (possibly with Angels)
SP: Rick Vaughn
LR: Sam Malone
RP: Monty Brewster
SU: Kenny Powers
CL: Henry Rowengardner

Manager: Bill Heywood

Research Tool

Shrecknet fucked around with this message at 20:19 on Aug 7, 2014

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Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


I go back and forth on the "no one-time appearance" thing for TV characters, because it closes off the Worf, Son of Mogh and Homer Simpson option just to close the "Superman and The Flash played Baseball for Earth's Freedom" bullshit.

I'll just change it to "no superheroes or cartoons," which rules out Homer but gives us Worf and Sam from Cheers.

TheFlyingLlama posted:

Man, 1B has to be Mr. Go
I guess he could DH too, but you have to get that bat in the lineup somewhere.
OK, found a spot for Mr. Go, but that puts Mr. 3000 on the bench. Still need a 2B.

Shrecknet fucked around with this message at 19:34 on Aug 7, 2014

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


So both Ed and Mr. Go are really 1B, but I moved Ed over to the hot corner based on Chimps having really strong arms, but I would really prefer him to be a DH for interleague and/or bench depth, if someone can recommend a true 3B.

Also we've got a great 1/2 in Nebraska/Finch, but it falls off pretty quick after that. Vaughn started out as a starter, maybe he could go the Smoltz route and return to starting, giving us Kenny Powers to set up Rowengarder and then Malone and Brewster to play ~*matchups*~

Middle infield seems to be the tricky one, we've got some stone-legged outfielders doing their best Raul Ibanez impressions, I'd love to get Benny into CF but not if we have to play an 11-year-old at SS.

Dottie Hinson as a backup C is pretty much only there for her glove and to give Davis a day off once in a while.

If we can find enough mashers, it might be interesting to bring in Jake Cisco to pitch instead of relying on Worf, Son of Mogh

Shrecknet fucked around with this message at 19:52 on Aug 7, 2014

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


seiferguy posted:

What position did Homer play on the Power Plant softball team? He was the team's leading hitter before being displaced by Darryl Strawberry.

He was a RF, but unfortunately we can't use him without letting in Bugs Bunny and Superman, who completely destroy the integrity of the sport by being able to literally fly and to throw the ball less than 1mph with no break, causing multiple batters to strike out on the same pitch.

v v SMART! :eng101:

Shrecknet fucked around with this message at 20:13 on Aug 7, 2014

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


tadashi posted:

Billy Young, played by Roy Scheider, was the veteran outfielder who turns his season around and leads the Tigers to the playoffs after being inspired by the main character in the made-for-TV movie Tiger Town. Need that veteran presence off the bench.

I never realized how many "aging vets with just a little left in the tank" there were!

OK, team's coming together. We're converting Vaughn back into a starter even though he really only has one plus-plus pitch, so our rotation is Nebraska/Vaughn/Clark/Finch.

Lineup:
Hernandez
Hooch
Ed
Mr. Go
Hobbs
Son of Mogh
Skrimshander
Davis
P

If someone can actually rewatch these and let me know if we need to flip them up so we're not stacked with righties (although I bet we are), that'd be going too far but also awesome.

Shrecknet fucked around with this message at 20:21 on Aug 7, 2014

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


Harlock posted:

OF Walton Goggins as Billy 'Downtown' Anderson (Major League 3)
OF
If you're gonna use an outfielder from Major League who's been a TV star, why not Pedro "President of the Goddamn United States on 24" Cerrano?

Ammat The Ankh posted:

Does the No 'real players playing themselves' rule include Michael Jordan in Space Jam?
I suppose Jordan was playing baseball in Space Jam, yes. But he was playing himself, so unfortunately he will need to be disqualified.

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


tadashi posted:

Additionally, there's no one from Bad News Bears but, if you're really going for best baseball player, I doubt any kids without celestial aid or freak accidents belong.

Buttermaker would be a fine assistant manager to Billy Heywood.

I do have Kelly Leak as org depth, though he's going to be in low-A until his voice drops at the least.

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


Jose Oquendo posted:

This is fun but why the gently caress isn't Kenny loving Powers the loving closer of this loving fantasy team. He'd rather quit and drive his truck off a cliff than be the setup man.



Kenny Powers is just a man with a mind for pussy and an arm like a loving cannon, but even Powers never hit 102 on the gun from the outfield seats.

Plus he did roids when he was in NY.

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


pseudodragon posted:

If Sam Malone's pre-Cheers career counts, then Jimmy Dugan from A League of Their Own is a HOF masher at third, filling both these needs.

That leaves a hole at catcher since Dottie's out of C and Crash is a pretty bad player. He's a career 4A catcher who even at his peak was sub-replacement level so you can't project him out like you can for Bad News Bears kids/Jake Sisko.

Maybe replace Rick Vaughn with the rear end in a top hat catcher who got traded in Major League 2 since I can't think of another good catcher. Or replace him with Jake Taylor if you care about team chemistry since a washed up MLB journeyman catcher is still better than a washed up minor leaguer.

With Crash gone, Nuke can take Vaughn's spot since he's pretty much the same type of prospect Vaughn was at the start of the first Major League.

Then Billy Chapel from For the Love of the Game fills a starting rotation spot. The prime version gets you an ace or the end of career movie version could still hold a middle/back of the rotation innings eater. He also fills the Coster spot since a movie/baseball crossover without Costner is wrong.
This all works except now you're starting Jackie Earl Haley in Bad News Bears at second, unless we're moving Benny Rodriguez in from CF.

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


OK, so the lineup looks like this:

C Jake Taylor, Major League
1B Mr. Go, Mr. Go
2B Kelly Leak, Bad News Bears
SS Henry Skrimshander, The Art of Fielding
3B Jimmy Dugan, A League of Their Own

LF Worf, Son of Mogh, DS9: "Take Me Out To the Holosuite"
CF Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez, The Sandlot
RF Roy Hobbs, The Natural

OF Stan Ross, Mr. 3000
IF Ricky Davis, Mr. Baseball (played by Frank Thomas!)

SP Steve Nebraska, The Scout
SP Nuke LaLoosh, Bull Durham
SP Bily Chapel, For Love of the Game
SP Sidd Finch, Sports Illustrated April Fools Joke

RP Sam Malone, Cheers: "Now Pitching, Sam Malone"
RP Kazuo Uzuki, 2008 Topps Baseball April Fools Joke
RP Monty Brewster, Brewster's Millions
SU Kenny Powers, Eastbound & Down
CL Henry Rowengardner, Rookie of the Year

Manager: Billy Heywood, Little Big League

I'm back-and-forth at slotting in "movie version of Ty Cobb" at 2B, just because I don't think Kelly Leak can hit at the "imaginary all-stars" level.

Shrecknet fucked around with this message at 05:13 on Aug 8, 2014

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


Alfred P. Pseudonym posted:

Very disappointed that Ed has been dropped. He turned an unassisted triple play at third base for gently caress's sake.

I firmly believe defenses don't really turn triple plays, idiot baserunning teams TOOTBLAN themselves into them. Ed still has a place on the Goons, just as a bench player.

Buane posted:

If you're taking a player from DS9, shouldn't it be Buck Bokai?
Bokai at third gives us Marla Hooch back at 2B, but forces us to play either Frank Thomas or Stan Ross in the OF as we lose Worf, Son of Mogh.

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


I mean, I've long thought a Golden Retriever would be the best SS imaginable, nothing would get by him. It's getting him to throw to first that would be tricky.

At the plate he presents his own challenges vis-a-vis hitting, but I've heard dogs love taking walks. :buddy:

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Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


Pander posted:

Nah he's got this poo poo.



HE'S NOT EVEN IN THE BOX!

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