|
moana posted:If I had to guess, I'd say because he's a giant douche and nobody wants to help a giant douche get a job. I'm a douche for wanting to be satisfied with my career? Alright! Eskaton posted:If you worked as land survey, couldn't you have moved within a company to the planning department? I mean it depends on the firm, but sounds easier than trying to apply from the outside. I worked in land surveying for a private firm before graduate school. At this current time, I'm seeking a job in the public sector.
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 03:47
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 23, 2024 11:58 |
|
|
GILF Hunter posted:I'm a douche for wanting to be satisfied with my career? Alright! quote:The other issue is with the city in which the job is located. It's a small city of about 10,000 people, and it's a little backwoods. The county in which it's located has one of the lowest median incomes, and one of the highest percentages of people below the poverty line for the entire state. As such, I don't see myself forming too many friendships or worthwhile relationships simply because I don't feel that I have much in common with the folks in a poor small southern town. Read that again.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 03:51
|
|
|
Eskaton posted:Read that again. You go work there then. There might be an opening next week.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 03:52
|
|
|
GILF Hunter posted:You go work there then. There might be an opening next week. For $39k? In a heartbeat.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 03:53
|
|
|
TwoSheds posted:For $39k? In a heartbeat. Dream small, kid.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 03:53
|
|
|
GILF Hunter posted:I'm a douche for wanting to be satisfied with my career? quote:The county in which it's located has one of the lowest median incomes, and one of the highest percentages of people below the poverty line for the entire state. As such, I don't see myself forming too many friendships or worthwhile relationships simply because I don't feel that I have much in common with the folks in a poor small southern town. Because only narcissistic douches feel like they can't be friends with people who aren't on their educational or income level. And you're an idiot for saying this: quote:I would say that's beneath me. It would essentially put all of my graduate-level studies to little or no use. Because only idiots think that a master's degree means they get a wonderful job handed to them out of school. You're also an idiot for not networking in college and for passing up an opportunity to network now, and for negotiating stupidly. And I personally think you're a jackass because this: quote:My interests include multimodal transportation and sustainability, two things that this particular small town doesn't factor much into their daily doings ... seems like the perfect opportunity to step up and do some better work beyond your job description for people in a place that sorely needs it while also not mooching off of your parents and exposing yourself to a culture you yourself admit you're unfamiliar with. You're a pessimist. Take the job, work hard and be a great worker while you're there, and if you get a better job, the people you work with will be happy for you to move up.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 03:56
|
|
|
GILF Hunter posted:Dream small, kid. You don't really know how the world works do you. GILF Hunter posted:
Well that explains it.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 03:59
|
|
|
moana posted:No, you're a douche for saying this: Suddenly, I'm the only person who is a shitbag for not wanting to live and work in a town with no growth and that has offered nothing to the area which surrounds it? Say, how high is that horse you're up on? I'm plenty exposed to the culture. I'm from here. But the people who I've connected with are not the people who are from here, it's the people that I met in school. Why is it unreasonable to be concerned with an inability to fit in socially? I mean that in all seriousness.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:01
|
|
|
GILF Hunter posted:I'm a douche for wanting to be satisfied with my career? Alright! You're a douche because you are quibbling over $3k vs. $0 and thinking that your entry level position out of grad school is somehow going to make you happy. How about being happy you got a job offer? Your 39K job aint so bad, you just want it all right now.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:01
|
|
|
Aristotle Animes posted:You're a douche because you are quibbling over $3k vs. $0 and thinking that your entry level position out of grad school is somehow going to make you happy. How about being happy you got a job offer? Your 39K job aint so bad, you just want it all right now. Mostly, I'm quibbling over thinking about my future and being unhappy in a place I don't want to be. If you're chastising me for not taking a job in a place where I see having those problems, then we have differing views. Well, that much is obvious. 39k ain't so bad, I agree, but it's not great, and the other factors make it less and less appealing.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:05
|
|
|
GILF Hunter posted:Suddenly, I'm the only person who is a shitbag for not wanting to live and work in a town with no growth and that has offered nothing to the area which surrounds it? Say, how high is that horse you're up on? You are a pessimist for thinking that this step will not help you. How high is my horse? I got a job out of one of the top engineering schools in the country teaching at an inner city high school. It paid $45k and most of my class was making $60-80k, but I took it because I wanted to be in education. It was a great and a terrible experience, and it taught me a deep respect for teaching, because I couldn't hack it. It taught me a lot. quote:I'm plenty exposed to the culture. I'm from here. But the people who I've connected with are not the people who are from here, it's the people that I met in school. Why is it unreasonable to be concerned with an inability to fit in socially? I mean that in all seriousness. You fit in socially when you were in school because you were all studying exactly the same high-concept topics and so of course you can talk about that easily. If you wanted to stay in academia, go back for your PhD. A masters won't cut it. But this: quote:I don't see myself forming too many friendships or worthwhile relationships simply because I don't feel that I have much in common sounds like you have a very narrow and narcissistic view of friendship. You really don't need to have that much in common with someone to be great friends. It sounds again like you're being overly pessimistic and it's holding you back. Why not go in with the attitude that you'll do your damndest to find some awesome buddies? Worst case, you leave after you realize it's not working. Best case, you stop being a tremendous douchehead. Think positive!
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:13
|
|
|
The only way I can think of that would make a lovely backwater less tolerable is if I had to live in a lovely backwater with my parents and no income. Good thing you didn't take that job and lose your self-respect!
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:14
|
|
|
People do all kinds of stuff to make it work and have careers. My wife lives 2.5 hours from me for her job. I leave the great city of Denver for Amarillo every other week for work. My wife was a glorified secretary for a year and a half before landing her current gig that she loves and pays double. Just think about doing it for a while. Live at home and commute. Give it 3 months. If you want to kill yourself hopefully you have found another job and just quit and keep looking.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:18
|
|
|
GILF: Everyone here is saying the same thing, take the stupid job. It's entry level and probably won't challenge you, but it will put experience to your credentials and make you more marketable in a year or two. Also, if my kid turned down a paying job to live with me, after I presumably put them through or at least helped them with graduate school, I would throw them out on their rear end and they would be working at mcdonalds, regretting the day they turned down a real, honest to god career.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:18
|
|
|
I don't DO field work. What I DO do is stare at my father across the dinner table for months on end eating the food he bought.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:21
|
|
|
moana posted:No, you're a shitbag for thinking a $39k job is beneath you when the other option is a $0 job living with your parents. You are in a well and somebody is offering you a step, and you're spitting on them because you can't see the the top of the well yet. I think I know what your favorite word is. In all honesty, I'd love to have civil conversations with you folks. That said, if you've stated that you took a position because you wanted to be in education, why am I not allowed to hold out to get a position which is better suited to me? I doubt you read the job description; frankly it doesn't mesh with what I want in my career. Sure it supports it, but less so than you might think. It's like wanting a job installing windows, but getting a job installing doors. Sure, they're both holes in a wall, but they open in different ways. I am a bit pessimistic perhaps regarding relationships with other humans, which is admittedly part of my concern, but I have some optimism in my career that a better opportunity will eventually come along (and while not loving over my employer). I don't think that's really all that unfair?
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:21
|
|
|
Aristotle Animes posted:The only way I can think of that would make a lovely backwater less tolerable is if I had to live in a lovely backwater with my parents and no income. Aristotle Animes posted:I don't DO field work. What I DO do is stare at my father across the dinner table for months on end eating the food he bought. Wow, you sound really mad about something that impacts you in literally no way. Go for a walk, man.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:23
|
|
|
Dude stop caring about your employer. They will churn you, burn you, mash you, spit you out, anything they want to. User them for money and to keep working in your field. Job search liked crazy and find what you really want. Are you applying to THAT many jobs a week that you can't do both?
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:25
|
|
|
You have absolutely nothing to lose by taking the job. If you take it, you'll be better qualified for the next job that comes along. If you don't take it, your job gap grows ever larger and you're less likely to get the job you really want. Can you honestly not think of a better reason to not take the job than you wanted something a little better? Even if you do get another job offer relatively quickly (and this is far from a sure thing, even if you have a few interviews lined up), it's not that hard or unusual to quit a job only a few weeks/months after starting. You just say you don't think it's working out, thanks for the opportunity, goodbye. It's seriously not the end of the world.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:25
|
|
|
It's not loving over your employer if you're a great employee while you're there, you work drat hard, and you give 2 weeks notice like you're supposed to. Most coworkers will be happy for you as long as you're a good guy to work with in the first place. Especially since you've said that this doesn't require a ton of training so it's not like they're investing a ton into you. I hire people and sometimes they go work other places or go back to school. It happens. If they were good workers, I'll give them a good recommendation and ask them for friends they think could fill their spot. Everybody in BFC knows that this is perfectly fine and you insist on arguing that it isn't. I don't know why you think you know better than everyone here.* *well maybe I know why
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:27
|
|
|
adorai posted:GILF: Everyone here is saying the same thing, take the stupid job. It's entry level and probably won't challenge you, but it will put experience to your credentials and make you more marketable in a year or two. Also, if my kid turned down a paying job to live with me, after I presumably put them through or at least helped them with graduate school, I would throw them out on their rear end and they would be working at mcdonalds, regretting the day they turned down a real, honest to god career. I haven't turned it down yet; I'm still assessing the trade off between income and doing what I really want to do. In another part of this forum, someone would say "Do what makes you happy" (hopefully with less childish namecalling). But I came here for advice. And for whatever it's worth, my parents have paid minimally for my education. That is, they didn't pay my tuition, and I didn't get a month check from anyone to pay my rent. My parents would want me to be happy. Would you not want that for you kids? GILF Hunter fucked around with this message at 04:30 on Aug 16, 2014 |
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:27
|
|
|
GILF Hunter posted:It's like wanting a job installing windows, but getting a job installing doors.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:31
|
|
|
GILF Hunter posted:I haven't turned it down yet; I'm still assessing the trade off between income and doing what I really want to do. In another part of this forum, someone would say "Do what makes you happy" (hopefully with less childish namecalling). But I came here for advice. Your parents also want themselves to be happy, and their idea of happiness may not include supporting their adult child, who is turning down lucrative offers of employment.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:31
|
|
|
TwoSheds posted:Your parents also want themselves to be happy, and their idea of happiness may not include supporting their adult child, who is turning down lucrative offers of employment. We have different families.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:32
|
|
|
GILF Hunter posted:Wow, you sound really mad about something that impacts you in literally no way.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:35
|
|
|
Aristotle Animes posted:You are literally leaching off your parents after you were offered a means to make your own way. I guess it's a good thing you're not one of my parents, right? For whatever it's worth, I would not be leaching off of my parents. I'd be working and supporting their small business, which happens to be well known and well respected in the community in which it resides. Happens to be something I enjoy too, which is nice. So please quit acting like I'm some sort of freeloader. You know absolutely nothing about me, my family, and my past.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:39
|
|
|
GILF Hunter posted:I guess it's a good thing you're not one of my parents, right? That'll look so much better than field work on your resume. You are awesome at this career thing!
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:43
|
|
|
Aristotle Animes posted:That'll look so much better than field work on your resume. You are awesome at this career thing! Maybe it won't, but at least I won't be as unhappy as you clearly are.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:44
|
|
|
GILF Hunter posted:I haven't turned it down yet; I'm still assessing the trade off between income and doing what I really want to do. In another part of this forum, someone would say "Do what makes you happy" (hopefully with less childish namecalling). But I came here for advice. You should do what makes you happy. But think about your happiness in the long term, not just the immediate future. Yes, this might not be the best job for you (though it really sounds like you're overstating the downsides), but it's definitely a stepping stone on the way to a better job. Most people don't get their dream job straight out of college (even grad school). You will look a lot better to other employers if you take this job.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:45
|
|
|
GILF Hunter posted:I guess it's a good thing you're not one of my parents, right? It doesn't help that you're obfuscating things. You pretty heavily implied that you'd be unemployed if you moved back home. quote:The alternative is living with my parents. I'm okay with that for now, on the assumption that I can't be unemployed forever. I've had two interviews offered to me since I received the employment offer.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:45
|
|
|
Turning down 39k in a place that sounds like it has a low cost of living for an entry-level position when you don't have an alternative just isn't smart.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:48
|
|
|
GILF Hunter posted:Maybe it won't, but at least I won't be as unhappy as you clearly are. Why are you so worried about who is happy? You keep explicitly whining about your own satisfaction and then turning it out on me now. I think it's you that fretting terribly about happiness because no one is giving you what you want when you want it. Good luck working at your parent's business which happens to be well known and well respected in the community that you can't stand. I know you'll be very happy there.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:51
|
|
|
Florida Betty posted:You should do what makes you happy. But think about your happiness in the long term, not just the immediate future. Yes, this might not be the best job for you (though it really sounds like you're overstating the downsides), but it's definitely a stepping stone on the way to a better job. Most people don't get their dream job straight out of college (even grad school). You will look a lot better to other employers if you take this job. Thank you for the well worded advice. The downsides are important to me. After all, I studied planning, and using my car to drive 100 miles a day pretty much goes against what I've studied and would like to one day change. TwoSheds posted:It doesn't help that you're obfuscating things. You pretty heavily implied that you'd be unemployed if you moved back home. I would consider working for my parents to be the equivalent of being unemployed. My parents don't pay themselves; I wouldn't expect them to pay me. And they would welcome me into their home because that's what a family should do. For that, I am thankful. And since working for them offers zero career benefit (someone will bold quote me on this, surely) I realize the obvious downside, which is why I'm here for the advice. This forum feels that career should stand above all else -- as I expected. My request for advice elsewhere has yielded different results. It's a tough choice. GILF Hunter fucked around with this message at 04:57 on Aug 16, 2014 |
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:53
|
|
|
Aristotle Animes posted:Why are you so worried about who is happy? You keep explicitly whining about your own satisfaction and then turning it out on me now. I think it's you that fretting terribly about happiness because no one is giving you what you want when you want it. I'm only worried about me being happy. And my family. And my friends. You are none of those things, thank goodness. Alas, thank you for confirming that you have literally no idea what you're talking about -- my parents don't even live in this state.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:56
|
|
|
GILF Hunter posted:My parents would want me to be happy. Would you not want that for you kids?
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 04:58
|
|
|
GILF Hunter posted:
So it's a choice between working for nothing and being beholden to your parents and supporting yourself while making a bit less than others in your field have been known to make? Doesn't seem like that hard of a choice to me. EDIT: Thought your parents lived in the same area as the new job.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 05:00
|
|
|
adorai posted:In my experience, a big part of being happy is making your own way in the world. Regardless, if she told me a Ferrari would make her happy, I would tell her to go to medical school. Fair enough. However, I think it's also fair to have reasonable expectations. I don't want a Ferrari. Hell, I don't even want a car. I don't think it's unreasonable to think that I will find a job that suits my skills/interests/etc and isn't in a place where I feel trapped. For what it's worth, I once said "I want to do this thing where money isn't as much of a factor as you might think" and it was suggested that I go to graduate school. Maybe people give lovely advice. Hindsight is 20/20. GILF Hunter fucked around with this message at 05:12 on Aug 16, 2014 |
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 05:03
|
|
|
GILF Hunter posted:Fair enough. However, I think it's also fair to have reasonable expectations. I won't a Ferrari. Hell, I don't even want a car. You're not ever going to be happy if you keep trying to force reality to give you exactly what you want with no compromise on your part. Life just doesn't work that way.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 05:05
|
|
|
TwoSheds posted:So it's a choice between working for nothing and being beholden to your parents and supporting yourself while making a bit less than others in your field have been known to make? Doesn't seem like that hard of a choice to me. No. Still in the south, but in a different state. Honestly, if they lived where the job was, I'd be totally inclined. Another reason I'm having second thoughts is that although there is a low cost of living, there is a also a lack of housing. Many of the rentals actually won't accept people who make MORE than a certain amount. There's a reason why I called it the City of Many Doublewide Trailers.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 05:07
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 23, 2024 11:58 |
|
|
TwoSheds posted:You're not ever going to be happy if you keep trying to force reality to give you exactly what you want with no compromise on your part. Life just doesn't work that way. Right, I agree wholeheartedly. From my standpoint, there seems to be a little more compromise than I may be willing to accept. I evaluate a) pay b) a place where I have friends or feel confident I'll meet new ones c) strong correlation with my interests. Do you think that shooting for a positive outcome on two of those is reasonable?
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2014 05:11
|
|