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US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah
that broad is pretty hot, honestly, but yeah she talks like a fuckin lumberjack

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US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

Obama Africanus posted:

The paid site bundles are getting cheap / good enough that I went ahead and did my every 4 year "subscribe to bundled porn sites that let you download DRM free" 30 day subscription, and I'm maxing out the gently caress of this fiber before I lose it.

Tearing poo poo down with the download managers lol it's like loving 2002 again.

I'm a big fan of the softly lit porn shot in sets of fake bedrooms with slim, impossibly hot Russian/Ukrainian broads, though it seems like if the tube sites are any indication, most of the internet is into grainy, amateur videotape footage of black dudes plowing out plain housewives

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

Victor Vermis posted:

This video blows my mind. Within 8 minutes of picking up a BB gun, this guy is dead.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9FtNOV6Qhk

Here's the 911 Call that brought down the thunder.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iA2IQjeR36c


The Caller:

A USMC boot camp washout, apparently.

lmao way better than this pussy redneck cop

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBUUO_VFYMs

hahaha fires 4 shots at a stationary target two loving meters away... one non-lethal hit
I really feel the South Carolina Highway Patrol academy's marksmanship instructors ought to be taken to task for this bullshit

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah
Serious note: Agree. The cop's been arrested lmao 20-year old white cop in a south carolina prison? Hoooooo boy he's in for a rough ride (as he deserves for shooting an unarmed person in the back as they try to comply with his orders).

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

that tattoo sums up the navy experience so perfectly

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

Zeris posted:


The areas they won't serve tourists, which I didn't experience firsthand but did read about, were near Belgium and France because believe it or not their teenagers can be more idiotic than Americans, and the Dutch were apparently sick of their poo poo.


When I was stationed in Italy, I had a Dutch friend who told me when she worked for the city department responsible for their canals where she lived, one of their biggest problems was it was becoming trendy for groups of rowdy drunk teenagers to bodily pick up Smart cars and tip them into the canals.

Spent like 10 days around NL and Belgium and I hated Amsterdam, but the Netherlands outside of Amsterdam owns really, really hard. Delft and Scheveningen are some of the very best places to hang out and drink beer and see nice old buildings in my like 20- some Euro countries I've visited.

Edit: and Ghent, Belgium, which is very close by is even better. I was there on leave, staying in a hostel made out of an old river barge the day OBL got whacked by the frogmen. I learned the news by overhearing the swedish kids next to me talking and caught the words "Pakistan" "bin laden". When I asked them what was going on, they were like, "you're American? Oh, today is like a holiday for you!" And then Belgians bought me beers all night, and I later ate amazing french fries and mayo. Good-rear end day.

US Berder Patrol fucked around with this message at 09:53 on Oct 13, 2014

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

zombie303 posted:

I am feeling tip-top. Marijuana is the bee's knees.



same

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

ded posted:

My daughter informed me that she was told at school that bees are going extinct.

Colony Collapse Disorder. It's a real thing.

Just one more reminder of how hosed this gay earth is and how we will all soon move beyond this plane of existence when this husk of a planet is a barren ash-filled wasteland (i am high and listening to metal)

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

not caring here posted:

Organic poo poo is loving delicious. Cruelty free meat, fruit and vegetables, so much better.

If you need a cheap and easy comparison go buy some battery hen eggs, then go buy some hug a chicken hippy eggs. Hippy eggs even have different colored yolks, and taste fantastic.

However, this does not apply if you are in Georgia. The organic hippy poo poo just looks and tastes like the normal poo poo with a bullshit organic sticker on it. Fuckin' dicks.

I joined a CSA here in San Diego, they don't do meats or eggs, though. Every once in a while when I go to the farmers' market to pick it up I get eggs there, too. The eggs I usually buy in the store are local, they're like $1 more a dozen at the farmer's market, but they're usually brand new (2-3 weeks fresher than any grocery store stock) and unrefrigerated. The difference is insane. Step your egg game up, bitches

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

ded posted:

Here I was thinking it was a random teacher being weird.

Lot of poo poo will die if bees go extinct.

lol the best part is that it's our fault. It's probably caused by neonicotinoids in pesticides

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah
I am, as Tupac once said, smokin' bomb rear end weed, and feeling crucial.

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

Fister Roboto posted:

why the gently caress do i keep posting at this stupid comedy website where nodoby is funny and instead are real angry that miliatry people are allowed to post

because you joined the subhuman laborer class by enlisting

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah
I used to think I was surrounded by all the dumbest people on earth when I was in the military, but i've also found all the dumbest people on earth in Philosophy 100- classes.

but prof let us out an hour early so i'm havin a beer and some indica and i'm watchin Falling Down and this poo poo is crazy how have I never seen this

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

The NL rules. I like how they scrape the foam off the little glasses of lager. Lots of panache. Also, any country with french fry carts is cool in my book. Man, I miss Europe, sometimes.

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah
A brief plot synopsis for the film Pain and Gain:

Florida

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

Richard Stroder posted:


My initial two-year tour of duty in Okinawa was regularly marked with frequent physical and mental abuse at the hands of noncommissioned officers within my unit, several of whom exhibited signs of post-traumatic stress.

On a regular basis I found myself the target of homophobic and racist comments from those entrusted with my well-being and training, often times in front of those I was in charge of leading.

sounds like solid deckplate leadership to me lol semper fi

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

zombie303 posted:

I found an apartment.


P good deal given hawaii's market

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

zombie303 posted:

About to smoke my last bowl of the year. Need to make sure I can pass a piss test for jobs in Hawaii. Should be interesting since I have replaced the pills the VA prescribed me with weed for the last couple years.

Also sad because I should probably shave my beard for said job finding. It makes me look like I'm 12.

all the Girl Scout Cookies and Blue Dream I smoke from a US Tubes beaker this week is for you
sorry about your loss

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah
Bitches im drunkernshit on an ipad lol the va pays me to be sad

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

Zeris posted:

Thread title please please please please

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah
I feel like with all this butt talk, we should take a minute to thank Remy Lacroix for everything she's ever done for us.

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah
Man, watching this netflix doc virunga about park rangers in africa - crazy poo poo. These dudes patrol with aks and rpgs and they fuckin get in contact with rebel poachers or something whaaat the gently caress africa

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah
I spent my veterans day making a little nugget of hash in a cough drop wrapper from the kief in my grinder, been lookin forward to this for weeks

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

Professor Bling posted:

just found one of the sorority girls from my college in an ECG porno

so I've hosed a porn star now

happy veteran's day to me

which one

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

zombie303 posted:

Time to go troll the stupid kids in my sociology class.

trolling classes owns

in my last philosophy paper, and obviously this is just a brief summary, I discussed improving moral consistency in animal rights issues and mitigating speciesism by advocating allowing the troops to eat enemy KIA. If we should no longer consider species a morally relevant factor in our decisions on how to treat other beings on this earth, then there is no real reason not to eat people. If we were to go to war with, for say, China or Russia, with a large conventional force that could rack up a lot of dead bodies, we could approach the number of cows killed for food. In combining this with a societal effort to reduce consumption overall (except for say, efforts to promote the eating of the elderly or like deformed babies and orphans), we could some day live in a world effectively free of speciesism with regard to agricultural animals, at least by many objective measures.

remains to be seen what I got on it, but I'm holding a hard A in the class judging by all the work I've gotten returned so far

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

holocaust bloopers posted:

Well it's a philosophy class. No one is capable of being wrong.

It's a 100-level philosophy class, at an overcrowded and underfunded urban community college, and it's a night class. I got an 11/10 on the first quiz, but about a half of the class failed it lol. Writing the papers is fun and lets me stretch my philosophical legs a little, but trying to wait out a class discussion without having to actually engage any of these simpletons in conversation is pretty awful

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

Genocide Tendency posted:

And one should also be allowed to safely say that someone else is marginally less competent than a brick. Freedom to express opinions shouldn't belong solely to the stupid.

am now deeply considering the moral relevance of an agent's intelligence

by being a dick in class, cole is really fighting the intelligenceist institution

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

Zeris posted:

Michael Phelps met his tranny ex gf on tinder and they hosed halfway thru the first date I had to tell someone sorry

idgi if they hosed why were they only halfway through the date we all know full fuckin well that a date is only like an admin checklist you have to route up some broad's internal mental/emotional chain before she lets you get at the poon

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah
I took a tolerance break because i ran out of dope. It lasted until I was able to get to a dispensary a day later.

Now I'm choomed as hell listening to metal, bearding, wearing whatever the gently caress color socks I want, and going over the pay stub for my dod retiree pay lmao my life owns

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

Christoff posted:

Just saw this

pulp fiction and reservoir dogs have both been on my stream before (i know cause i watched them)

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

:hf:

same

i assume my mental disability and low income were the only things I had going for me

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah
so friends are meeting over at my girlfriend's place tonight and we were talking about making arrangements beer, weed, etc. She rents a room in a kickass Craftsman house in a rich uptown San Diego neighborhood from an old hippie lady (Claire) who's rich from whatever and always traveling. Basically my girlfriend pays for the privilege of being this lady's housesitter, but whatever. Gf says to me, "oh, Claire has some pot here. She said I could smoke it if I want" I say, ok, cool so she won't care if we smoke there, I already have my own dope so I don't want to smoke hers, but see if she has a bowl we can borrow and I can just bring a nug over instead of rolling a joint cause I'm lazy.

lmao she calls back like a minute later
"I'm not looking for a bong or pipe or anything anymore! I reached in her nightstand drawer and now my hand is covered in lube!"

hahahaha old hippie lady pussy grease priceless, boys. I'mma take another bong rip, finish my cup of coffee, and go drink beer with my friends. Also our neighborhoods are perfectly positioned so that we'll be able to get a good view of the fireball if Vladimir Putin nukes the San Diego Naval Base Complex, have a great fried-day. namaste

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah
gently caress facebook

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

DustyNuts posted:

gently caress turkey, I'm with David Chang, check it out: http://www.gq.com/life/food/201411/thanksgiving-by-david-chang

I've made these short ribs a couple of times a year for about three years. They own own own. I have 5 lbs of them in my oven right now, getting ready for tomorrow.

gently caress turkey is the realest, dude

I made a leg of lamb last year, best thanksgiving roast ever. I'm not in control this year, so this year is most likely [standard white people holiday spread]

Goin to see Doug Benson tonight, tho :350:

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

lol glad this broad chose to cover her toilet rather than taking ten seconds to clean the poo poo specks and piss ring out before poppin that hot little selfie

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

in a strange twist of routine, i watched the ad in its entirety without skipping when the option came available (which was for the upcoming netflix original series marco polo which i am definitely watching cause it involves mongols and hot asian broads), but only the half second of time I needed to see the manchild with $3000 of rifle like a child with a new lego set

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

Spicy Guacamole posted:

Ladies and gentlemen:

NukeMap

And NukeMap 3D!

according to this, 100 kt right on top of the sub, aircraft carrier and surface piers at San Diego would be perfect for everything I see south and west of me to be blown away or consumed by a giant fireball

i'm kind of disappointed you posted this after I'd already spanked it this morning

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8EkV2LBOM4

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah

Victor Vermis posted:

Even though it was a joke video this comment is still worthwhile because I didn't know that Marco Polo was a Netflix OG series and I skipped over it this morning looking for something good to watch.

I eventually settled on the Bill Burr standup. It was pretty good.

it's already on netflix? boys, soon's this paper's done, :350:

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US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHPgnO9RSY4

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