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Daniel Bryan
May 23, 2006

GOAT


:siren: BROCK LESNAR BEAT JOHN CENA AND IS YOUR NEW, REIGNING, DEFENDING HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD :siren:

Dolph Ziggler is the Intercontinental Champion

Sheamus is the US Champion

The Usos are the Tag Team Champions

Paige is the Divas Champion

:siren: RAW :siren:

Nikki slaps Brie. Brie cries.
The crowd erupts at the start of the show as they are surprised by the entrance theme of the former WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Daniel Bryan! It's not Bryan who enters the arena, however. "Miss" Stephanie McMahon, the SummerSlam victor, entered instead, imitating Daniel Bryan's entrance. She was skipping, chanting "Steph!" and doing the whole shebang to the delight of herself. Stephanie ran down the events of SummerSlam, culminating with a reminder of her victory over Brie. Stephanie called out Nikki to tell the crowd why she did what she did. Nikki proceeding to walk down to the ring, while having shoe troubles. As she entered the ring, she embraced Stephanie with a hug. Nikki said she was tired of Brie thinking about only herself, as the two were supposed to dominate WWE together. She also mocked Bryan, saying she was embarrassed that Brie married that troll. Eventually, Brie, angrily, came down to the ring to say she forgives Nikki, and the two could remain a team. Nikki took offense to needing forgiveness, as it is Brie who needs to atone. Nikki slapped Brie, Brie stumbled back, then left the ring crying in shame.

Wight Chocolate defeats Harper & Rowan
Mark Henry & Big Show are the new hot team on the block. There were "Let's Go Big Show" and "Sexual Chocolate" chants during this match. Is this team basically together to try and get Attitude Era buyers for the Network? I don't think it is, but if so, I don't think it's going to work well. The finish saw Big Show knockout Rowan, who then was scooped up into a World's Strongest Slam for the pinfall. JBL mentioned that The Usos should be worried about these potential challengers. If that is the case, we should all be.

Backstage: Dolph Ziggler was talking with Ric Flair, when Miz walked up to the duo. Miz told Dolph to think of tonight's match as a sequel, where the hero gets his prize back. Dolph said Miz wasn't an A-Lister, but an A-Hole. Flair woo'd.

Backstage: Renee Young congratulated Seth Rollins on his victory last night. Seth said he didn't run and hide last night, but rather stood in the ring and proved he was the better man and future of WWE. Suddenly, Renee scattered and a bucket of ice was poured on Rollins. Rollins sold the chill, then turned around to see Dean Ambrose looking at him. Dean said, "What... it's for charity," before hitting Rollins with the bucket and beating him down before the two could be separated.

Backstage: After break, Rollins stormed into Triple H's office. Rollins wanted Dean to be finished, and Triple H agreed. Hunter booked Seth vs Rollins tonight in a rematch, saying the type of match would be selected by the WWE Universe.

The choices: No Holds Barred, No Disqualification, and Falls Count Anywhere

Natalya defeated Paige via pinfall
Prior to the start, Paige dedicated the match to her little friend AJ Lee. The match itself didn't last long. Paige was in control the whole way until AJ's music hit. AJ skipped all around the ring, distracting Paige, leading to Natalya schoolboy'ing her up for the pinfall win. After the match, AJ said she was dedicating her whole life to Paige. She wanted to shake Paige's hand, but Paige bailed, confused, by AJ turning the tables on her in the crazy department.

The Authority Presents A New Championship Belt
Triple H and Stephanie McMahon, in a change of clothes, came out to the ring for the new WWE World Heavyweight Championship presentation. With the debut of the new logo comes the new WWE WHC belt. The Authority welcomed Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman out, and all four proceeded to parade around the ring in a photo opportunity with the new title belt. After plenty of photos were taken, the Authority left the ring and gave the spotlight to Paul and Brock.

Paul Heyman cut yet another impassioned promo that was just so good. He managed to put over John Cena as the best all time, all to continue to put over Brock as the baddest of all time. Paul spoke, Brock smirked. The usual, great formula. Paul said that due to the beating, John Cena was not at Raw tonight. Some of the crowd booed, while some chanted "Thank you Lesnar!" All in all, Paul mentioned that Brock conquered Cena just like he said he would do. We did not get a hint about the next potential challenger for Brock, however.

The Miz defeats Dolph Ziggler
Dolph Ziggler continued the story of an injured knee, and Miz went to work on it much of the match. Miz locked in his Figure 4 late in the bout, but Dolph clawed to the ropes to break it. With his knee in incredible pain now, Dolph rolled out of the ring to give himself time to recover. Unfortunately for Miz, he gave himself too much time, and Miz won via count out as Dolph was unable to get back in before 10. Miz, unhappy about not getting his title back, attacked Ziggler some more post-match. That would turn out to be a bad move, however, as Dolph surprised Miz with a ZigZag to leave him laying in the end.

Backstage: Jack Swagger told Renee Young that he disappointed his country last night, but today was a new day!

Cesaro defeats Jack Swagger
Cesaro gets the pinfall victory after the Neutralizer. Cesaro debuted a modified theme last night, in which the siren has been changed to a more ambulance like siren. This was a quick match, with Cesaro getting the win without too much fanfare. After Jack's loss, Bo Dallas came out to shame him. He said Jack has lost his manager, his matches, his self respect, and now his dignity. BUT! Jack can get it all back, Bo says. He just has to BO-LIEVE!

Backstage: Chris Jericho rallied his supporters, and said he still has fighting spirit.

Rowan vs Big Show is set as tomorrow's Main Event on Main Event.

Reigns & RVD & Sheamus defeat RybAxel & Randy Orton
Rob Van Dam pinned Curtis Axel after a 5-Star Frog Splash in a ten minute match. Reigns was saved for the hot tag, as one might suspect. He cleaned house and seemingly had a victory set up after spearing Randy Orton, but Orton was saved. Moments later, Reigns was taken out of the match by Axel, so RVD had to bail out his team to get the win. That's two pinfall wins in two days for Rob Van Dam. The winning trio celebrated after the match, with Roman giving a smirk as if to express that he was humbled a bit by not being successful in gaining the victory for his team.

Backstage: Randy Orton was walking in the back. Ric Flair went up to him for a word, but Orton told him to back off before he reminded Flair why he used to be called the Legend Killer.

On Video: Bray Wyatt laughed and celebrated his victory, while saying that he doesn't have a soul. His mission, rather is to collect souls. He called himself the new face of salvation.

Goldust & Stardust defeat The Usos
The 'Dusts defeat the Usos. Slater Gator defeated The 'Dusts. So, give Slater Gator a title shot! Stardust pinned Uso #1 in a short, and not particularly good, match, to the surprise of the Usos. So they're back to promoting a bunch of challengers to the tag titles. But who will get the ever elusive PPV title shot at Night of Champions!?

RVD vs Orton is set for Smackdown.

Mark Henry Calls Rusev "Boy"
And maybe Lana can translate what that means to him. In the ring, Lana and Rusev were out to dedicate last night's victory to Vladimir Putin. Lana said Putin is so proud of Rusev, but she was cut off by Mark Henry's music. Henry made his way to the ring with a nice crowd response. Henry spoke right to Rusev, basically ignoring Lana. Henry questioned Rusev's belief that America's power was gone. Henry told Rusev to step up. Rusev punched Henry, and the two fought a bit before Rusev crumbled due to his injured ankle from last night. Henry landed a World's Strongest Slam on Rusev to a big reaction, as Lana could only stand in the corner and watch a bit embarrassed. Henry high-fived all the commentators after his triumph.

Falls Count Anywhere: Seth Rollins d. Dean Ambrose
This was a crazy match, and absolutely the best thing on the show. It was a spectacle, and blew away the match last night. The crowd was so into it, and really wanted to see Dean Ambrose finally get his vengeance on Rollins. Falls Count Anywhere was the chosen stipulation, which meant the two brawled all over the place. Dean Ambrose gave Rollins a suplex onto the stage, the two brawled in the crowd, and the announce table came into play. We also had our fair share of weapons being used, including a pile of chairs, a table, a cane, and the steel steps. All in all, a wild back and forth spectacle between these two. Too many spots to name, but certainly worth going and watching as soon as you can!

Late in the match, Dean Ambrose had certain victory seemingly locked up after a dirty deeds on Rollins. However, Kane made his way to ringside, and again ruined Ambrose's night. Ambrose didn't crumble, though, as he fought valiantly for minutes against both Rollins and Reigns. In the end, though, it was the double team efforts of Kane and Rollins that gave them an insurmountable advantage. With the match still ongoing, Kane chokeslammed Ambrose onto the announce table. Rollins then crushed Ambrose with a curbstomp on the same table. Rollins, not pleased with ending it there, told Kane to "finish him." Kane went to the timekeeper area and revealed a stack of concrete blocks. Kane lifted Ambrose over to the area, and laid his head down on the blocks. With a running start on the announce table, Rollins then nailed Ambrose with the curbstomp on the cinder blocks. With the usual lack of subtlety, the concrete blocks crumbled as Ambrose was laid out. Referee Charles Robinson, whose concerned reactions always put the other referees to shame, called for the bell and scolded Rollins for going too far. The show ended with Kane and Rollins celebrating, and Ambrose getting medical attention.

This was a heck of a fine show, and the lack of Cena did not hurt at all. It helped, and I was quite surprised they actually did go ahead with keeping him off this TV altogether. We had some new rivalries begin, and some ongoing ones continue. No hint of a Lesnar match at Night of Champions tonight, but there is still plenty of time. Ambrose being off TV for a few weeks will make the shows less enjoyable, but his return should be quite the night.

Daniel Bryan fucked around with this message at 05:15 on Aug 19, 2014

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Stealthed Zombie
Dec 21, 2007

And Introducing:
Dean "Titty Master" Ambrose
Can this thread be the Dean Ambrose Memorial Station?

RIP Dean Ambrose. You were doing so well then got smashed onto some fake cinder blocks.

I Before E
Jul 2, 2012

Cesaro won a match, suck it haters.

Cesarowns.

Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

Box. Flipped.
Plaster Town Cop
I'm sorry you're dead, Dean Ambrose.

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.
Here lies John Cena
Suplex.
Suplex.
Suplex.
Suplex.
Suplex.
Suplex.
Suplex.
Suplex.
Suplex.
Suplex.
Suplex.
Suplex.
1977-2014
Suplex.

X-O
Apr 28, 2002

Long Live The King!

I love Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan as much as anyone (or in case of the former much more than most do now at least) but Dean Ambrose is the future of this company.

Strawberry Panda
Nov 4, 2007

Breakfast Defecting, Slow Dick Touching, Root Beer Barreling SwagVP
They should have put Lesnar ' s Cock sword on the belt.

Matlock
Sep 12, 2004

Childs Play Charity 2011 Total: $1755
RIP Dean Ambrose: you died like you lived, filthy and making sure John Cena wasn't on TV

Gusano
Dec 15, 2013
I'm morbidly happy that now main event matches finish when one of the contenders manages to actually kill his opponent.

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer

Deadpool posted:

I love Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan as much as anyone (or in case of the former much more than most do now at least) but Dean Ambrose is the future of this company.

Let all three of them (and Seth) be the new Austin, Rock, HHH, and Taker of a loving STACKED main event tier. :getin:

BigRed0427
Mar 23, 2007

There's no one I'd rather be than me.

I want the Authority to PAY for everything they've done.

There is Roman Reigns and Brie Bella...who else can challenge them? :(

Static Rook
Dec 1, 2000

by Lowtax
Yo, I posted last week that I was losing interest in WWE and didn't really care anymore. But holy poo poo did SS and this Raw loving hook me again. Still have a week to decide if I'm gonna re-up on the Network, but cool poo poo like Ambrose v Rollins really makes me want to.

Ok WWE, one more chance. Don't hurt me this time. (-every PSP poster ever at some point)

ZixTheYeti
Jul 12, 2005

Hellarious!
The side panels on that belt look like hot dog eating competition trophies.

Bard Maddox
Feb 15, 2012

I'm just a sick guy, I'm really just a dirty guy.
WWE has made Dean Ambrose the complete package and so much better than he was before he started in the company.

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


This was the best episode of Monday Night Raw in five years.

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer

Bard Maddox posted:

WWE has made Dean Ambrose the complete package and so much better than he was before he started in the company.

BUT THEY ONLY WANT ROMAN, DON'T YOU KNOW?!

Stealthed Zombie
Dec 21, 2007

And Introducing:
Dean "Titty Master" Ambrose

Bard Maddox posted:

WWE has made Dean Ambrose the complete package and so much better than he was before he started in the company.

And then they killed him live on national television.

Bumper Stickup
Jan 7, 2012

Mmm... Offshore Toast!


Grimey Drawer
For anyone that decided not to watch tonight, you owe it to yourself to track down two things from tonights show.

-The promo from Paul Heyman.
-The main event between Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins.

You can skip everything else but missing these is doing a disservice to yourself as a wrestling fan.

Luneshot
Mar 10, 2014

I want that entire last match in .gif form.

X-O
Apr 28, 2002

Long Live The King!

Bard Maddox posted:

WWE has made Dean Ambrose the complete package and so much better than he was before he started in the company.

This is very much true. Like I said as much as I love Reigns and Bryan there's something much more special about Dean Ambrose I think. He feels like a completely different type of wrestler than we've seen in years. It's very refreshing. And the crowd I think is picking up on it.

ijii
Mar 17, 2007
I'M APPARENTLY GAY AND MY POSTING SUCKS.
Some quick thoughts:
-The new belt is better than the last belt by quite a bit, but still the big logo is kind of obnoxious.
-Dust brothers are the best tag team currently.
-AJ and Paige hotswapping titles and then losing to other diva roll ups is getting really annoying. Also I wonder how far WWE is going to go with girl on girl stuff? Why is WWE inching away from PG content?
-I thought the evil Bella was pretty good on the mic, despite a lot of people here making GBS threads on her. I am somewhat curious how Bella vs Bella will turn out.
-Main event match with Rollins and Ambrose was by far the best part of the show. Very disappointed to know that Ambrose is being written off the show for a bit while he's probably the most exciting part of WWE.

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.

Luneshot posted:

I want that entire last match in .gif form.

I imagine the GIF still somehow ends up being Brock suplexing Cena.

NowonSA
Jul 19, 2013

I am the sexiest poster in the world!
I hope Reigns at least addresses what was done to Ambrose tonight at some point in the future. I don't expect to hear him, or anyone in the company, say why he didn't come out to help (even though it's easy as hell to come up with a logical reason and we deserve to have one), but they better get his thoughts on one of his best buds being murdered by the authority he hates. Right now it's basically like one of the Usos had a singles match and got killed, with no mention of the fact that oh yeah, he has a twin brother tag team partner, isn't it odd that he didn't come help?

Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.

e: oh is this bannable i'll go post it somewhere else

Luigi Thirty fucked around with this message at 04:28 on Aug 19, 2014

Dango Bango
Jul 26, 2007

Deadpool posted:

This is very much true. Like I said as much as I love Reigns and Bryan there's something much more special about Dean Ambrose I think. He feels like a completely different type of wrestler than we've seen in years. It's very refreshing. And the crowd I think is picking up on it.

I mentioned this in the Raw GDT, but to me he's an awesome mix of Austin and Foley. Austin where he relentlessly goes after his target and Foley in his ways of putting his body on the line in a match.

SalTheBard
Jan 26, 2005

I forgot to post my food for USPOL Thanksgiving but that's okay too!

Fallen Rib
I'm so bummed that Ambrose is having to take a short vacation to film a movie. When the Shield first appeared I was excited, that excitment waned when I started to feel like the Shield was just a vessell to push Roman Reigns and that Ambrose and Rollins would be shuffled to the background and forgotten. I know realize how wrong that was, I'm just going to say that talent wise the Shield might be the most amazing faction in wrestling history.

Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

Box. Flipped.
Plaster Town Cop
Honestly, instead of showing the Brie and Nikki promo again, they could have easily cut to the back and shown Orton attacking Reigns or something.

BigRed0427
Mar 23, 2007

There's no one I'd rather be than me.


On the one hand I thought this was bannable.

Ont the other hand, still funny.

hunnert car pileup
Oct 28, 2007

the first world was a mistake

NowonSA posted:

I hope Reigns at least addresses what was done to Ambrose tonight at some point in the future. I don't expect to hear him, or anyone in the company, say why he didn't come out to help (even though it's easy as hell to come up with a logical reason and we deserve to have one), but they better get his thoughts on one of his best buds being murdered by the authority he hates. Right now it's basically like one of the Usos had a singles match and got killed, with no mention of the fact that oh yeah, he has a twin brother tag team partner, isn't it odd that he didn't come help?

Reigns is only taking friendship lessons from Hogan.

Maxwell Lord
Dec 12, 2008

I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die.

I hope we both die.


:smith:

Grimey Drawer
It's weird. Normally WWE booking is uneven with even the best pushes having some bullshit in them.

Week after week with the Artists Formerly Known as the Shield, they just keep being awesome. They're protected in the best way.

WrasslorMonkey
Mar 5, 2012

NowonSA
Jul 19, 2013

I am the sexiest poster in the world!
^^^^^ Well done as always WM.

In honor of Brock, I'll remind everyone of the thread about using wrestling moves to honor or beat diseases, and someone posted that we need to F5 internet addiction.

Luigi Thirty posted:

e: oh is this bannable i'll go post it somewhere else

Eh, I didn't think it was too bad. Someone was going to post it, it may as well be you.

jscolon2.0
Jul 9, 2001

With great payroll, comes great disappointment.

Strawberry Panda posted:

They should have put Lesnar ' s Cock sword on the belt.

At least they chose one of his awful looking tattoos for it.

X-O
Apr 28, 2002

Long Live The King!


Absolutely beautiful.

Truther Vandross
Jun 17, 2008

Dean Ambrose is the new Terry Funk

Dango Bango
Jul 26, 2007


This is amazing.

Okuteru
Nov 10, 2007

Choose this life you're on your own

SamuraiFoochs posted:

Let all three of them (and Seth) be the new Austin, Rock, HHH, and Taker of a loving STACKED main event tier. :getin:
Would that make Rusev the new Yokozuna?

So it looks like they setting up AJ/Paige 4, Miz/Ziggler 3, and maybe the Usos/Dust for the tag belts. They didn't explain much with Brock, huh?

Then again, NOC is 5 weeks away.

Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.

sportsgenius86 posted:

Dean Ambrose is the new Terry Funk

Can we make up our mind on whether he's the new Terry Funk, Steve Austin, or Jake the Snake?

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer

Maxwell Lord posted:

It's weird. Normally WWE booking is uneven with even the best pushes having some bullshit in them.

Week after week with the Artists Formerly Known as the Shield, they just keep being awesome. They're protected in the best way.

It owns and I want it to continue forever for all three because all three own

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Bumper Stickup
Jan 7, 2012

Mmm... Offshore Toast!


Grimey Drawer

I want this keyboard.

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