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Necro Butcher got screwed out of winning Tournament of Death 3 due to some bizarre circumstances involving arterial spray and inexplicable last-minute booking decisions, so he was pretty much a lock to win the next year's tournament. He made it to the finals after several fun brawls and his win came in an elimination three-way against Nick "The Three Thousand Dollar Man" Gage and Zandig. I was really excited because Necro was my favorite wrestler back then and I had high hopes to see him finally win the big one. My hopes were in vain. The match is bad. It is so bad. Part of this comes from special referee Gypsy Joe, who is roughly a million years old and wanders aimlessly around the ring wearing a ref shirt and no pants, wondering what year it is. The other part is, of course, the people involved. Necro bumps his rear end off for both guys and does some cool spots (including a three way version of his 'sit down and punch each other' routine), and Gage more or less pulls his weight, but Zandig, having already wrestled twice prior, is blown up by the time he reaches the ring and spends the whole match being dead weight. He shambles around throwing punches in between occasional bursts of energy that allow him to sort of do a power move. The worst part comes just before his elimination - Gage sets up a flaming table on the outside and goes to suplex Zandig through it from the apron, a pretty reasonable spot to eliminate someone from a deathmatch. Two things happen: 1) the table is way, way too close to the apron 2) Zandig is a fat piece of poo poo and can't take the move properly without sandbagging all over the place The end result of this is that Zandig misses most of the table entirely and Gage lands square in the center of it, heads all the way to the ground, and is engulfed in flames. Security takes something like twenty seconds to get to his side and only after he's taken off his flaming shirt do they bother spraying him with fire extinguishers. Gage is obviously in tremendous pain (if I remember right he had second-degree burns) and cannot go for a cover, meaning Zandig is up first after being suplexed through a flaming table, and also not eliminated. The CZW fans react to Gage's agony at having nearly killed himself for their entertainment by calling him a queer. So after they've made sure Gage is okay, he remembers Zandig is supposed to be eliminated and rolls him up with a small package on the outside. Gypsy Joe moseys around to get a better view of the pinfall, leans over, and fast-counts a three. Zandig then disagrees and says it was a two count in front of everybody, and Joe changes his mind. Gage wanders off to the side and everybody stares at each other in confusion for a minute, then Necro shows up and improvises by trying to finish off Zandig with a big wind-up punch. Zandig, who was supposed to have been eliminated by now, kicks out, and Necro has to repeat the exact same spot to get him to stay down and be eliminated. The crowd is absolutely bewildered. It is so bad. I love deathmatches, there were good ones on that show (hell, there was a significantly better Necro deathmatch on that show, and it had Ian Rotten of all people using good psychology), but holy poo poo that match is terrible. Solomonic fucked around with this message at 22:54 on Aug 21, 2014 |
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Aug 21, 2014 22:50
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Tiger was also involved (along with Jason the Terrible) in Giant Baba's ill-fated decision to have a multiple-round fight with a martial artist and catch some of that Ali/Inoki hype. He did not get Ali.
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Aug 23, 2014 06:50
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In honor of August, a short compilation of Mr. August himself, Masahiro Chono. When he was on, he was on, but when he was off, holy poo poo it was bad. vs Ravishing Rick Rude, Part One Part Two WON's Worst Match of the Year for 1992 - for context, this was on the same card as the Coal Miner's Glove match and during a year where Erik Watts was getting a push. Absolutely wretched, no heat, no action, ends on a DQ. w/Team 2000 vs Tatsutoshi Goto, Hiro Saito, and Hiroyoshi Tenzan - Featuring Chono at the rear end-end of his career, broken down from injures and borderline immobile, an absolutely ancient Goto, Giant Silva from the Oddities, Tenzan, and an extremely green, barely-trained Great Khali. vs Hulk Hogan, Part One Part Two - Goes almost twenty minutes when both men were no longer capable of convincingly working longer than half that. Worth watching at least for Hogan shouting "axe bomber!" in a Japanese accent. vs Chyna - I mean I don't know what you're expecting by clicking on this link but if it's not exactly what you get then you may have brain problems I can't track down a video of him vs. Kazuyuki Fujita vs. Brock Lesnar for the IWGP title or else it would've been the first thing I put in here. At least it's mercifully short. That entire stretch of NJPW with Fujita constantly in the main event was ghastly, and on top of that it came on the heels of a year of loving Tenzan.
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Aug 23, 2014 21:54
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Fauxhawk Express posted:Currently trying to find the Osaka Dome main event where Inoki comes out and berates Nakamura after the match to the point where Nakamura was allegedly within a hair's breadth of legit beating his rear end. Oh man, you're looking for this match, featuring three of the worst wrestlers in NJPW history (edit: I am being deeply unfair to Kendo Kashin, who has been in some really good tag matches, but I don't care  ) and Shinsuke back in his 'the most boring man in the world' phase.Inoki is so mad at how incredibly awful the match is that he just straight up punches Nakamura in the face, not even trying to act like he's working. If Fujita hadn't gotten between them the old man probably would've been murdered and we would now be in a different timeline where Mutoh inherited NJPW or something. Solomonic fucked around with this message at 00:31 on Aug 24, 2014 |
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Aug 24, 2014 00:28
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