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Double Plus Undead
Dec 24, 2010


Splitting up works for me.

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Kerzoro
Jun 26, 2010



Splitting the party has NEVER gone wrong for anybody, so let's do it!

HiKaizer
Feb 2, 2012

Yes!
I finally understand everything there is to know about axes!


Look's like we're gonna peel a banana and split it then!

Mr. Fowl
Mar 8, 2008

nononononono


Let's Split Up, Gang!

Your Friendly Neighborhood Chapter of GOATS

You've come to HQ of the mysterious 'Glorious Order of Altruistic and Trustworthy Shepherds', right across from a Taco Bell. The smell of "tacos" and manure hang in the air. Their local house looks like it used to be a church, but at some point its new tenants replaced the windows with strange, stained glass windows depicting what can only be described as goatssianic imagery. There's the Virgin Goat and Kid Jesus. Abaa-ham going up to the mountain. It goes on and on. As you approach, a smiling young man hands you a flier identical to the one Barbara gave you at the mall. "Have you heard the good word, kids?" He appears to be of high school age.

At the El Paso Heights Trailer Park

Kale's address leads you to a trailer park across the street from a Taco Bell. The smell of "tacos" and poverty hangs in the air. At first, it seems like it might be hard to find his trailer, as the park is in such disarray that very few of the homes are numbered. But as luck would have it, our intrepid field team spots a disturbance up ahead; a group of what appear to be Taco Bell employees clamoring around a trailer. This Narrator is putting his money on that being the right trailer.

Just say which group you're with when you post. Either you're investigating GOATS or Kale. Or maybe you've gone all LONE GOAT on us.

Robodog
Oct 22, 2004

...how does that work?


Spacebot - GOATS HQ

Naturally, Spacebot went to the local chapter of GOATS. A dangerous terrorist organisation lead by a madwoman would no doubt require the skills Spacebot could bring to the table. Thankfully the headquarters of this sinister organisation wasn't too far away, as 'walking' as Earthians kept calling it was perhaps the one thing Spacebot had yet to master. Slowly, Spacebot trundled with unerring, GPS-like accuracy towards the converted church. Spacebot may not be swift, but Spacebot never got lost either.

The elderly woman handing out suspiciously familiar flyer almost immediately earns Spacebot's ire. "Ma'am. Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people." Spacebot cooly informs the zealot, slapping the flyer to the ground with one clamped hand. "We have some questions for one Patty St. Croix. Denote this creatures location unto us."

Kerzoro
Jun 26, 2010



Aoi Hoshino - That Trailer

Taco Bell.

The name never made much sense to Aoi. Why would you make a bell out of tacos? It would shatter at the first ring. Or if it didn't, she couldn't imagine it would make for a good sound.

Also she couldn't in good faith call the things they served tacos anyway.

As she thinks about this (out loud, as it turns out), she is distracted about where they are actually heading until she bumps right into one of the clamoring people, bounces right back, and lands on her behind "--oof!"

Then she blinks and looks up. "... Oh hey! We're here!"

Mr. Fowl
Mar 8, 2008

nononononono


GOATS HQ

The GOATS Devotee just smiles at Spacebot. "Sister Patricia is around back, tending to the flock. It's a wonderful day for that sort of thing, isn't it?" He just sort of stares off into the sun. At this point you begin to wonder--has he blinked once since you began talking to him?

At the rear of the building by what appears to be a petting zoo/outdoor chapel, where pews seem to be set up in a goat pen. The congregation sit side by side with their horned brethren, wearing some kind of wooly shawls. A woman wearing paper mache horns is delivering a sermon. "Blessed are the cudchewers" and so on.

That Trailer

As you approach the trailer, you can almost hear the mob.

"--out, Kale."
"--time"
"--knows too much--"

But when they notice you, the crowd becomes as silent as a graveyard and all heads turn towards you. One of them puts on a smile and greets you. Her nametag reads "Asst. Mgr. Katy".

"Oh, hi," she says, drawing out the greeting. "Do you want to talk to Kale too? We're from the Taco Bell across the way and if you know him, it would really help if you could talk to him about this." She hands you a bizarre flyer, describing the reptilian conspiracy evidently hidden in the Taco Bell logo. "He's been passing these out and saying the craziest things. Corporate is starting to breathe down my neck, so I could probably treat you to a Dorito Taco if you talked to him."

Here's the flyer:

Robodog
Oct 22, 2004

...how does that work?


Spacebot - GOATS HQ

Spacebot doesn't possess an articulated head, otherwise it would be shaking sadly at the young Earthian. "This is what religion does to the feeble minded. Such a shame." Leaving the lost cause behind, Spacebot proceeds to the rear of the building. But immediately stops as the sermon was in full swing. With both Earthian and Goat people in attendance. "Umm." Space turns those comrades following behind. "Are any of those the one we're looking for?"

Kerzoro
Jun 26, 2010



Aoi Hoshino - the Trailer

Aoi staaares at the pamphlet and blinks. "That's silly. They look nothing alike." She pauses. "Also, Horus had a bird head. Not a reptile."

... well, she cannot, really, blame people from suddenly going and doing things like that. SOME people cannot handle seeing strange creatures and flipping out.

Some people just overreact too much.

But hey! It may be a lead!

So Aoi goes up and knocks on the door. "Helloooo. Anybody home?"

HiKaizer
Feb 2, 2012

Yes!
I finally understand everything there is to know about axes!


Doc Croc

He might be cold-blooded, but he was not without humour. "Don't you think we sssshould help our new friend learn the truth of thissss conspiracy?" Ajani murmurs with a chuckle, his voice becoming more sibilant the less he focused on speaking clearly. "Would the director disapprove? But...he has already seen some thing potentially." The man sized crocodile was dressed up in big clothing that covered most of his appearance in the most comical way possible.

Mikedawson
Jun 21, 2013



Huey Delhomme - GOATS HQ

Between the disgusting scent of Taco Bell and the absurd religious imagery, Huey was thinking about shooting something. He kept his cheerful-old-man smile, though.

"So, you fellas like goats, do ya? Can I take a look at one?"

Mr. Fowl
Mar 8, 2008

nononononono


Trailer Park
The door to the trailer opens a crack, stopping short thanks to a small chain. In the darkness, you see a tiny, bloodshot eye. A voice asks "Are--Are you with them or us?"

GOATS HQ
The acolyte gestures to the flock. "Please sir. All who appreciate the gentle wisdom of the Goat may join." Huey, you see that there are dozens of bona fide goats around you, some seated on the pews, some just wandering around, chewing whatever they can find. One is getting close, eyeing your pants.

Mikedawson
Jun 21, 2013



Huey Delhomme - GOATS HQ

Huey squats down in front of the goat looking at him, though he keeps some distance, so it would be more accurate to say he squatted down a few feet away from the goat. He checks it if there is anything unusual about it.

Kerzoro
Jun 26, 2010



Aoi Hoshino - The Trailer

"Umm..." Aoi gives the nervous man a smile only a tiny geeky japanese monster-fangirl can: kind of an awkward one. "I don't... think we are with either? We are looking for a stolen goat, Billy the Kid?" ... to her credit she manages to not crack up this time around.

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HiKaizer
Feb 2, 2012

Yes!
I finally understand everything there is to know about axes!


Doc Croc - the trailer

For a moment Dr. Arjistani was somewhat amused, technically he was with them he supposed. His reptilian physiology would complicate matters more than normal if he was noticed so he tried to blend in as much as possible.

"Definitely with you. Let us in brother and tell us what you know, time is short."

Once they were inside the trailer more direct force could be applied.

Deceive: 1U4+3 => 6

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