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  • Locked thread
Les Affaires
Nov 15, 2004

Hi. This is the September thread about Australian Politics.

Highlights from August:
- Politics was on Winter recess, so not too much general hilarity coming from Canberra;
- Joe wandered around the country trying to sell a pup to the PUP and other crossbenchers. Ignores Labor and the Greens for some reason;
- Pyne also does the same, except spends most of his time speaking to 8 vice chancellors instead of, say, the other couple of dozen who are also affected by his reforms;
- Also apparently we're now at war or something, who knows.
- Protests across the country over the weekend about the so-called "unfair" budget.

If I've missed something (I did) please post it below. Bring on the spring sessions!


rumble in the bunghole
Feb 25, 2011

This Australia Day I would like to give thanks for a worldwide return to sanity, as demonstrated by President Trump, Brexit, Senators Hanson and Leyonhjelm, One Nation outpolling the Greens, and the the demodding of EM.

Not a good time to be a rabid leftist lol.

College Slice

the awful app crashes every time I try to open auspol. Only that thread, nothing else. Finally ai has surpassed the power of the human brain.

Horseshoe theory
Mar 7, 2005

the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: "there's actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron"

I hear that Tony Abbott is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being ever known - confirm?

Jul 17, 2001

Cybertron must act decisively to prevent and oppose acts of genocide and violations of international robot rights law and to bring perpetrators before the Decepticon Justice Division


Being a public figure isn't always easy, as Bill Shorten's recent experience highlights. Apparently his ascension to the position of Leader of the Opposition stirred someone to make an allegation that she was raped by him some 25 years ago when he was 19.

The matter was investigated by police and referred to the Director of Public Prosecutions. That office concluded there was insufficient evidence to warrant a prosecution. These are commonly used words that unfortunately leave some doubt in people's minds. It is not really fair because we assume you are innocent until proven guilty, but after an investigation these words leave doubt. The trouble is the investigating team can't act as judge or jury and declare guilt or lack thereof. All they can do is say that there is insufficient evidence to procure a prosecution. It is a messy and regrettable flaw in our system.

Allegations of surprise sex can in many cases be extraordinarily difficult for the police to investigate. As Sir William Deane once pointed out, the notion that surprise sex is an easy claim to make is simply ludicrous. Equally, it can be an extraordinarily difficult claim to disprove. It is a very blasé person who sits idly by when circumstances come about which allow them to appear as though they might be guilty.

As offensive as it seems, some complainants turn out to be complete liars who fabricate their stories. Others may believe that there was no consent but feel unable to face the consequences of raising their complaint with the police – or perhaps, for whatever reason, after many years, decide to pursue their case. Others may have consented at the time and, facing subsequent regret, again for whatever reason, decide to raise a complaint. In any event it cannot be an easy decision.

There will be cases where consent, or lack thereof, will be clear on the evidence. Regrettably, in others cases it is an extremely difficult issue. The passage of time makes any investigation or prosecution even more difficult. It is even harder for the accused.

Shorten is kidding himself if he thinks he could have kept this to himself. I think his claim that "I could have … but that's not who I am" makes him look a bit silly because nobody I know in politics thinks keeping this under wraps was an option. Indeed, silly might not be the right word. It looks as though, even under the pressure such an investigation and consequent announcement would bring, he was still thinking of how to make himself look good. Let's face it, he's a hustler.

Hindsight is a great thing. Perhaps his advisers would now say a better comment from him would have embodied a manly facing of the stark reality. Something like, "Being a public figure has a price and part of that is that we can't always choose what part of our lives remain out of the public domain. Politics and the media being what they are, I think it best to tell you now, at a time of my choosing rather than at a time chosen by others, that …" Still, it's too late for that reality check now.

There has been a good deal of restraint exercised by both the media and members of Parliament in the lead-up to and since Shorten's wise announcement. It stands in something of a contrast to the frenzy surrounding the apparent revelation that many years ago Tony Abbott had punched a wall very near a woman's face.

That contrast invites us all to speculate what would happen if a similar complaint as was made against Shorten were made against Abbott.

I think I know what would happen: The handbag hit squad would be out there fanning the fires with every bit of hatred they could muster. Does anyone seriously think the media commentary would be as restrained? Even if you backdate the question to when Abbott was opposition leader, you still get the same answer.

Courts have rules of evidence, for very good reason. These rules have been developed over many years and are designed to ensure that judges and juries make the fairest decision possible. The problem is neither we, nor the media, follow any such rules. That means that bits and pieces of information about each of us – parts of the story when there might be many versions, often completely untested – are passed on every day. In normal daily life we call it gossip.

Sadly, some investigative journalists get away with being paid to publish this sort of stuff, irrespective of whether innocent people are damaged along the way. They would say they are only doing their job, working to shine a light on bad things that do happen. When they do in fact shine that light and wrongdoers get their due, we should all cheer. The trouble is that often, in digging to find the dirt and shine the light, they chuck a fair bit of mud.

Shorten has had a rough time of it. He can be grateful for the decency shown all around. Perhaps he will insist the same courtesies are extended by his team on future occasions. But don't hold your breath.

Amanda Vanstone is a columnist for The Age and was a minister in the Howard Government.

Nov 30, 2009

oompa loompa dumpety doasts

this rhyme is terrible, mlyp

March Australia Brisbane Protest Trip report
By Kommando

March Australia held an Anti-LNP Anti-Abbott protest today at Queens Park with several speakers.
Larissa Waters, Terry O'Gorman, Peter Ong (E.T.U.), Professor John Quiggin, Selena Ward, Robyn Taubenfield, Jake Schoemer, & Breeze & comedian Mandy Nolan voiced their outrage and disgust at the abominable behaviour exhibited by our Federal and State LNP governments.

There were stalls for The Greens and The Socialist alliance along with smaller represented parties like Abbott Proof Fence and Antifaschistsche Aktion.

The rally was held from 10:30 and at 12:00 began a procession walking around the CBD and ultimatly back to Queens Park before disbanding at 14:00.

Channel 7 and The Australian journalists were in attendance along with a lot of freelance and casual photographers. The QPS was mostly bike mounted, both pedal and motor and the rally was very peaceful if noisy.

I got to speak to my Stafford Greens Candidate about various things but mostly about nuclear power. I bought two Greens pins and wore a shirt marked with FUND CSIRO and had the Parkes Dish on the back.

While on the march I spoke on film to a March Australia videographer on the continual cinching of the CSIRO budget leading to drastic cost cutting measures like closing the Parkes Radio Telescope and shutting the Melbourne Biolab that is currently studying Ebola, Hendra and SARS.

It was great to see so many people out today.

Here are some photos. More can be seen at my G+ album

The Australian photographer, not taking photos.


Compilation of media coverage of March Australia Protests

The Australian and Courier Mail focus on the lower turnout. has few words to report but does ask MORE: Was this the most pointless protest ever? with six times the word budget.

Independant Aus has a short article, but also highlights that this rally took place australia wide.,6829

ABC talked about the Canberra protest.

Brisbane Times is short but sweet, quoting the organisers a lot.

SMH has made a scant article also commenting on the reduction in numbers.

The Advertiser has a dislocated report on 'general protest around australia'

Nov 30, 2009

oompa loompa dumpety doasts

this rhyme is terrible, mlyp

Nuclear Spy posted:

Morrison and Abbott named in International Criminal Court submission

THE International Criminal Court (ICC) in The Hague is currently considering a submission calling for an investigation into Australia’s treatment of asylum seekers.

The submission was officially accepted by the ICC on May 19, 2014, and is currently under consideration by the court.

No Fibs has now seen the full submission, however, after advice from experienced investigators, we decided against publishing the document. The advice was publication could harm any possible future investigation. We have published the executive summary (below).

The submission was prepared by lawyer and migration agent Tracie Aylmer, who also does volunteer work in a legal capacity.

Tracie told No Fibs she prepared the submission to ensure international law was upheld and to return humanity to those who have been persecuted.

The submission names:

Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott
Minister for Immigration and Border protection Scott Morrison
Assistant Minister for Immigration and Border Protection Michaela Cash
Minister for Foreign Affairs Julie Bishop
Former Chief of the Defence Force General David Hurley
Commander of Operation Sovereign Borders Lieutenant General Angus Campbell

The submission calls on ICC prosecutors to use Article 17(2) of the Rome Convention in relation to all onshore and offshore processing. It alleges the Australian government is committing atrocities that are in breach of Article 7 of the convention.

In February this year, the New York Times reported: “Australia’s treatment of asylum seekers sent to offshore processing centers is cruel, inhuman and degrading and it violates international law, the United Nations’ human rights office said”.

In July former director of mental health services at International Health and Mental Services Dr Peter Young gave evidence to the National Inquiry into Children in Immigration Detention.

Young told the inquiry The Department of Immigration and Border protection “asked us to withdraw the figures from our reporting” which showed alarming high levels of mental health problems among young detainees.

The Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR) has been a long-time critic of Australia’s mandatory detention. In 2011 UNHCR regional representative Richard Towle said: “In the Australian context, UNHCR has longstanding concerns that mandatory detention for prolonged periods, particularly in isolated locations and crowded conditions, can quickly impact on the psycho-social health and welfare of asylum-seekers and refugee”.

Kon Karapanagiotidis OAM (@Kon__K) from the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre told No Fibs in a statement today: “Under the Abbott Government we have seen for the first time the average time in detention surpass 300 days. The loss of access to legal representation while in detention, a spike in reports of self harm and increased intimidation and pressure to depart Australia while in detention”.

Aug 11, 2010


And regardless of whether we chose right or not,

Fuck you, Atrus

Nice photos! Wish I'd made it to the protest too, but I was still feeling pretty groggy after Sinus Headache Saturday and totally forgot it was on.

Jun 20, 2008


ThirdPartyView posted:

I hear that Tony Abbott is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being ever known - confirm?
Noted Torture Apologist Tony Abbott is kind of a buffoon. NTATA is brave when it comes to kicking people when they are down (youth and immigrants a specialty). NTATA is warm in the same way a recently deposited fecal mass is and that does make him wonderful in a terrifyingly bad way.

Apart from him being cited in an international criminal court for acts of depravity there may yet be some good news. You might remember the horrid graph of two PP poling that only really took a solid uptick once the war and terror drums got a flogging. It occurred to me that NTATA may have hit the panic button early. There is plenty of things that can now go wrong for him (As in any conflict) and war weariness isn't just a video game concept. More to the point it emerges that one of the groups who we are scheduled to drop arms to are an offically named (by us) terrorist organisation.


Asked whether he was concerned about the arms the RAAF delivers falling into the hands of Kurdish militants from the PKK – a banned terrorist organisation in Australia – Mr Abbott said the Kurdish government had assured the US and others that the weapons will be used by the Peshmerga.
Air Marshal Binskin added: "The greater risk here is actually doing nothing to be honest with you."

Read more:

More morass ridden is the inevitable involvement in Syria where NTATA has already called it "Baddies verses baddies". The obvious choice to back(if the enemy is ISIS) becomes President Bashar al-Assad.

Kind of belies the message from the Defence Minister (In explaining why there would be no democratic process and effectively presenting us as doing exactly what the US says) when he says "Carefully considered". No sorry David you pathetic poo poo smear this has been a hastily concocted plunge into the unknown for shallow short lived domestic political purposes. Please find a fire (fight) and die in it. If we are so determined to pursue oppressors on the global stage why aren't we dropping aid in the Ukraine?

You know 'Operation Bring Them Home'

NTATA's good at talking up big and loving terrible on follow through. I look forward to his three minutes of silent hostile head bobbing when someone asks him about Operation Bringing Them Home nearer to Christmas.

Feb 25, 2010

Meanwhile at the Bracken Ridge Tavern:

Jan 7, 2001

To fight the boat person, we must understand the boat person. We can ill afford another Tampa.

I guarantee those weapons will be used against either Australians or our putative 'allies'.

Aug 5, 2009

I just want them to release a list of the weapons we're handing over like the Germans did.

Jan 7, 2001

To fight the boat person, we must understand the boat person. We can ill afford another Tampa.

"Well you see the most dangerous thing would be to not go to war." - Your moral and intellectual superior, a parliamentarian.

Nov 30, 2009

oompa loompa dumpety doasts

this rhyme is terrible, mlyp

And March Australia has posted a video of me ranting about defunding the CSIRO while on the march.

You Am I
May 20, 2001

Still me @ ur poasting
HD Edition

open24hours posted:

"Well you see the most dangerous thing would be to not go to war." - Your moral and intellectual superior, a parliamentarian.

Labor and LNP have blocked the Greens and Independents call for a debate about this in parliament. Fuckers

Feb 25, 2010

Kommando posted:

And March Australia has posted a video of me ranting about defunding the CSIRO while on the march.

Keep up the good work.

Gough Suppressant
Nov 14, 2008

Anidav posted:

Meanwhile at the Bracken Ridge Tavern:

What's in 4X Gold that makes it more expensive under the carbon tax but no other beers are

Feb 25, 2010

Gough Suppressant posted:

What's in 4X Gold that makes it more expensive under the carbon tax but no other beers are

Carbon Monoxide.

Mar 6, 2007

Think you've got what it takes?
We're looking for fine Men & Women to help Protect the Australian Way of Life.

Become part of the Legend. Defence Jobs.

People who drink 4X tend to spew out hot air at a much higher rate than normal

Lizard Combatant
Sep 29, 2010

Who thinks $4 for a schooner of that rat piss is a good price?!

Milky Moor
Aug 27, 2006

urgh URGH


2:17pm: Shorten is speaking for noticeably longer than the PM here.

"More than a decade ago, Simon Crean stood at this despatch box as Labor leader to support our troops but oppose a war.

"History has vindicated his judgment. The decision to go to war in 2003 was based on false evidence. It was a rushed decision, devoid of an effective plan to win the peace, devoid of clear objects and devoid of widespread international sport.
"But as the government has said the situation we face today is very different.

"This is not 2003."

2:12pm: Labor leader Bill Shorten begins by thanking Tony Abbott for "agreeing to Labor's request for a statement to the House today".

"Madam Speaker, national security is and always will be for Labor above politics.
"And whilst we deplore violence and war as instruments for achieving solutions to geopolitical problems, we acknowledge that sometimes it is necessary for the international community to take strong steps to end death and destruction."

gently caress you shorten

i got banned
Sep 24, 2010

lol abbottwon

what a surprise Labor supports war and agrees with the Coalition

Bipartisan bullshit madam speaker

Doctor Spaceman
Jul 6, 2010

He who fights shitposters should see to it that he himself does not become a shitposter. And if you gaze for long into an anidavatar, the anidavatar gazes also into you.

Are they supporting some particular action, or just general "ISIS is bad and something should be done" statements?

Aug 5, 2009

Milky Moor posted:

It was a rushed decision, devoid of an effective plan to win the peace, devoid of clear objects

Aren't we in exactly the same situation now? Nobody has any idea what the end goal for Iraq or Syria is, the only thing people seem to know is that ISIS are bad.

May 31, 2011

Fun Shoe

Anidav posted:

Meanwhile at the Bracken Ridge Tavern:

Why, two of those and you've got a visit to the doctor.

Feb 25, 2010

*puts on sunglasses and every Australian now has John Howard's head*

May 6, 2007

I feel the pressure,
under more scrutiny
And what I do,
act more stupidly


If Abbott were accused of surprise sex...
COMMENT The handbag hit squad would muster every bit of hatred they could. Why is that?

Lmao Amanda Vanstone.

Nov 30, 2009

oompa loompa dumpety doasts

this rhyme is terrible, mlyp

Murodese posted:

People who drink 4X tend to spew out hot air at a much higher rate than normal

And release methane.

Sep 13, 2002

dear Lowtax, i hope you appreciate this donation to the Kyanka college fund. PS TUNNEL SNAKES RULE.

and vote Labor.

May 25, 2004

Cake or Death

SynthOrange posted:

Lmao Amanda Vanstone.

Abbott *was* accused of sexual assault - charged in fact.

Jun 26, 2009

Amanda Vanstone was on a I squared debate once, the subject was "Is Australia still a fair go country?" With Vanstone on the pro side. The pro side stuck with nice anecdotes about people who had made it in life, etc, while the negative side stuck to pointing out reality with statistics and so on. Vanstone's closing argument had me in stitches and you should watch it for yourself, just to see her scold the entire audience, but briefly it was; You can only answer the debate topic for yourself, you can't answer for anybody else. So if you vote no, Australia's not the land of the fair go, then you are saying that you personally are against giving people a fair go and are a bad person. All you people in the audience aren't bad people, are you?

The negative side won the debate.

Mar 23, 2005

I believe...

Does anybody have the Abbott Mission accomplished img? TIA

Sep 11, 2001

Here's the Emission Accomplished one:

Jun 28, 2008

Just overheard the tannoy at the Brisbane cultural center bus station promote the government supplied 50 50 vote about whether to spend savings from the repeal of the carbon tax on cheaper services or more services.

Particularly funny given how TransLink spun the transition from diesel buses to diesel/LPG buses as good for the environment.

May 10, 2009


Many of you would already be aware that earlier today we lost one of our brightest stars when our much-loved friend and colleague Kurt Steel was tragically killed in a bus crash in Bolivia.

Our sincerest condolences and prayers are with his family, work colleagues and many friends both in Canberra and in the Labor family across Australia. Our Chief Minister Katy Gallagher, Federal Leader Bill Shorten and Kurt’s friend and boss Andrew Barr have already shared some heartfelt words about this tragic loss:

Chief Minister Katy Gallagher MLA: He was a significant contributor to the ACT Government - being employed in Andrew's office for a number of years - most recently as his media adviser. Kurt was a professional, highly respected and dedicated member of the Labor team who will be sorely missed and impossible to replace. He was a person who always went beyond what was required of him and was always happy to volunteer his time and skills to help the Labor movement here in the ACT and across the country. As you all know from working with him - he was a natural leader, always had a smile on his face and approached every task with enthusiasm and endless positive energy. Everyone in the building knew how excited Kurt was about his six week trip of a lifetime through South America. His passing at such a young age, whilst on his overseas adventure is a terrible tragedy for which there are no words that can cushion us from the shock, the sadness and the grief that's being felt right now. I know I speak for all of you when I say the thoughts of all of us are with his family during this terrible time and we also send our thoughts to all of those who have lost loved ones or have been affected by this accident.

Federal Labor Leader Bill Shorten MP: Today, the Labor Party mourns the death of one of our own, Kurt Steel. Kurt was a popular and hugely respected member of the Labor team. His passion for Labor and our party's cause was truly awesome. His death is incredibly sad news and I know he'll be missed by so many. Our thoughts are with Kurt's family, especially his parents Jayne and Phillip, and his siblings Chris and Yasmin.

Deputy Chief Minister Andrew Barr MLA: There are no words that can cushion us from the shock, the sadness and the immense grief being felt today at the loss of our friend Kurt Steel. We have lost a dearly loved colleague and a great mate. Kurt was a professional, highly respected and dedicated leader in my office, the ACT Government and the Labor Party. He will be sorely missed and impossible to replace. Our thoughts are with Kurt’s family at this terrible time and we also send our thoughts to all of those who have lost loved ones or have been affected by this accident.

Last year during the federal election our friend turned his attention to helping the federal Labor Party and many more hundreds of people around Australia got to know and love our Kurt. Here are a few words about Kurt from Nathan Lambert (Assistant National Secretary) at the ALP National Secretariat: As you know, Kurt was immensely popular across the party -- not just in Canberra but across the nation. Everyone who worked with him admired his passion, his belief, and above all his genial nature and steady mind. He always had a twinkle in his eye; he was never rattled in a crisis; he was always happy to chip in and help. He brought a positive energy -- he would have laughed at that phrase but it's true -- to everything he did. As soon as Kurt was on board, you felt things would be done well, they would be done promptly, and they would be done in a way that the whole team could agree with and support. We were so happy to have him as part of the 2013 campaign headquarters. To be honest, we had already begun working out how to poach him from Andrew Barr again. I'm sure we weren't alone. In a line of work where people are not necessarily quick to praise or trust others, Kurt was so widely admired and relied upon. He will be truly, sorely missed.

Quite sad, nice guy.

Feb 14, 2012

by Lowtax

im fruity gordo and i sniff me own bum

gay picnic defence
Oct 5, 2009

If you saw Atlas, the giant who holds the world on his shoulders, if you saw that he stood, blood running down his chest, his knees buckling, and the greater his effort the heavier the world bore down upon his shoulders - What would you tell him?

To Shrug.

Given there is some pretty hosed up poo poo going on in Iraq at the moment, is there a preferable alternative to war that won't allow IS to continue to wreak poo poo for any minorities they stumble across?

Jul 16, 2010

I don't like people who take drugs. Customs agents, for example - Albert Einstein

Isn't this the kind of poo poo we have drones for? Apart from bombing weddings and orphanages, of course.

Jun 20, 2008


gay picnic defence posted:

Given there is some pretty hosed up poo poo going on in Iraq at the moment, is there a preferable alternative to war that won't allow IS to continue to wreak poo poo for any minorities they stumble across?
As opposed to the other bunch of radicalised/corrupt dictators who are going to get support from us?

This nightmare was set in motion decades ago and was most recently sent into free fall by the 2003 war. We are as collectively responsible for what ISIS is doing as anybody else. Strangely enough pouring less arms and combatants into a war zone seems to cool things off rather than the other alternatives. And if we are so keen on preventing oppression/genocide where ever it is found there are plenty of other places we could be focused on, some as close as West Papua.

Jul 1, 2009


put clinton in prison imo

Lipstick Apathy

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Fruity Gordo
Aug 5, 2013

Neurotic, Impotent Rage!

Avshalom posted:

im fruity gordo and i sniff me own bum

What of it.

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