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Nathilus posted:The worst thing about getting older is that time never stops speeding up. I'm 32 now and it's already insanely breakneck. Remember how as a kid a long, golden summer could last what seemed like forever? Well by your 20s it has turned into two and a half to three pretty short months, and by the time you're 30 you can blink and drat near miss one. Pretty alarming if you ask me. According to my older relatives, THIS KEEPS HAPPENING UNTIL YOU DIE. Just wow. Not cool. Stephen King had some thoughts about the subject. http://www.bestlibraryspot.net/horror/My_Pretty_Pony/1999.html Basically all the best years of your life are going to fly by. It totally justifies cheesy childhood photos and sloppy nostalgic songs like Cats in the Cradle. Tempus Fugit
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Sep 8, 2014 03:17
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Pinky Artichoke posted:Oh god, my 20s were the worst. Way too much work, way too much paranoia about my work, always feeling like I was getting too old too quickly without accomplishing enough, and no comfort in my own skin. Although I will say that I did have a great group of friends that in many ways paralleled the sitcom expectation (maybe a little more Silicon Valley than HIMYM) who have now mostly dispersed. This is something that's very important to understand. Most people in their 20s have a lot of freedom, due to fewer financial/family/social obligations. As your peer group gets older, it becomes harder to make time for everything. I'm 30 and a lot of my friends are parents already or are expecting, most of us are career driven, trying to keep everything in balance. It's a lot more difficult to knock off for a 3 day weekend when you've got a deadline at work, or a newborn at home, compared to just needing to make enough to cover bills plus your bar tab. Go to the effort to stay in touch with your friends, and by that I don't mean ping them on Facebook occasionally to say hi. Make plans to BBQ, go to a festival or concert, whatever - it may not be as exciting as taking an unplanned road trip for a weekend, but it's a lot more feasible. Don't fall into the trap of always telling yourself you need to catch up with someone but never following up. It is generally more difficult to make new friends the older you get, as you take on more and more responsibility, much easier to maintain the ones you already have.
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Sep 8, 2014 04:16
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30 Goddamned Dicks posted:FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO AT LEAST ONE WILD AND FREE SOMETHING WHILE YOURE YOUNG. Study abroad a semester. Work 16 hour shifts at the coffee shop to save up for a three month trip to hitchhike Europe. Go work at the South Pole for a year. Something. I never did any of that and really wish that I had. This thisity this. I wish I'd travelled more with my husband before we had a kid. Kids are awesome, but as soon as they come along, your personal freedom is severely limited untill they're 18 or so, so if you've got a big dream you want to experience (especially if it's travel related), get it our of your system before you procreate. You can still do it, of course, you've just got to wait close to two decades. (Unless you want to pack up your family and take them with you, of course. People do that all the time, and have a blast. It all depends on where you travel and what you want to do there.)
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Sep 8, 2014 10:24
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Nathilus posted:The worst thing about getting older is that time never stops speeding up. I'm 32 now and it's already insanely breakneck. Remember how as a kid a long, golden summer could last what seemed like forever? Well by your 20s it has turned into two and a half to three pretty short months, and by the time you're 30 you can blink and drat near miss one. Pretty alarming if you ask me. According to my older relatives, THIS KEEPS HAPPENING UNTIL YOU DIE. Just wow. Not cool. I've had some thoughts about this, and I don't think it's absolutely a given. I'm 29, and have at times experienced the "where the hell did July go?" syndrome over the past decade. However, at the same time I've had months and weeks and everything drag on forever. It's all about routine and pace. If you're moving fast, going in and out, doing the similar things every day, it all blurs together and you lose that time. If, however, you're mixing up your schedule, doing different things, time slows back down. A couple years ago, my wife and I were able to get an entire month off of work, and we went on a cross-country roadtrip. After the first week and a half or so, we were shocked to realize that although it already felt like we had been out for a month, we weren't even at the halfway point. On the flip side, I've been on projects at work where I just blast through 12-14 hour days, and have no idea what I did in the previous month once it's all over. So, it's very easy to fall into that wake-clean-eat-work-eat-work-eat-TV-sleep routine. But that's the real time killer, not necessarily the steady march of time, or some sort of "age time dilation" thing. Sockmuppet posted:This thisity this. I wish I'd travelled more with my husband before we had a kid. Kids are awesome, but as soon as they come along, your It really does depend on where you travel and what you do. Growing up my parents did a lot of stuff with us. Big road trips, camping trips, hiking, starting a small beekeeping business, etc. Kids are totally compatible with adventures, and the idea that kids need to be cooped up and kept away from all the stress and joy of travel is a slightly toxic one.
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Sep 8, 2014 12:36
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LogisticEarth posted:Big road trips, camping trips, hiking, starting a small beekeeping business, etc. Kids are totally compatible with adventures, and the idea that kids need to be cooped up and kept away from all the stress and joy of travel is a slightly toxic one. Which was why I specified "big dream"  We've done tons of stuff with our daughter (we drove across half of Europe and then back again when she was 11 months or so. Not doing that again until she's big enough to watch DVDs.), and we'll be doing tons more, but not climbing Mount Everest or spending six months hitchhiking around Eastern Asia or South America. Some adventures are more compatible with (small/elementary school age) children than others, and if you've got some big amazing thing you've always dreamed of doing, it's easier for everyone if you get it out of your system before you have children in the first place. Apart from anything else, it's a dick move to leave your spouse home with the kids for two months because you've got some desperate need to cross Armenia on a unicycle.
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Sep 8, 2014 13:17
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I'm a 28 yr old female, turning 29 in November. I've been thinking about 30 a lot lately, though to be honest I've been slightly terrified of it since I turned 25. I just recently bought a house, and my first car. I've always biked/bussed to my work places, and one time I owned a moped. I never wanted a car, but I just got a new job and due to me working second shift (when the buses don't run) I've had to buy one. It's way too far to bike too. This is probably a good thing because due to some accidents in my past, my knees aren't doing so well. I can't run for prolonged periods of time like I used to either. I don't feel older most times, but when I stop to think about it I have changed from when I was 18. I am more tolerant of other people, and not as quick to anger. My patience has grown a lot as well. I've stopped playing video games the way I used to... My PS3 is a DVD player and Netflix/Prime machine. I watch the news and pay attention to politics. I became a feminist around the age of 26 when I sat down and read things about it. I stopped drinking alcohol completed a few months ago. I get hangovers like nothing and it's just not fun anymore. I'm also more worried about my health in general and am going to opt for a better health plan tier at my new work place. I think about investments and banking a lot as well. I'm seriously considering fostering animals to take advantage of my new backyard. I want to grow herbs for my kitchen. I feel a lot more mellow, and a little bit creakier is what it boils down to.
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Sep 8, 2014 13:17
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Man, 39. For me 30's were better than 20's. I've always been a late bloomer and in my 30's I started catching up and overtaking my peers who were more successful in our teens and 20's. Physically I feel the same. I can still go to a concert and stay until morning dancing and not feel too bad the next day. A downside is seeing your grandparents and parents grow really old, becoming a burden, and dying. Another is dating... I spent half of my 30's single and it's horrible how the dating pool evaporates. There are very few people to choose from, and those that do exist (myself included) become picky and complicated and usually there's a reason why they're single. When I think back about my 20's, dating then seems so simple now. When you're 20 you can go to a bar or a club and approach anyone without thinking "am I too old for her", "is that a wedding ring", "why am I here, I should have school-aged kids by now". Thinking like that is futile and not even true because dating was complicated (at least for me) back then too, just for different reasons. Radio Talmudist posted:How do you guys look back at your twenties? Growing up on a cocktail of Friends and How I Met Your Mother has made me anxious about whether or not I've having the amazing life I'm supposed to be having at this age. You know, a financially untenable apartment in Greenwich village with romantic imbroglios every other week. My life is considerably more tame, and sometimes I wonder if I'm torturing myself with a silly ideal. Don't get me wrong - I'm working hard to make the most of this part of my life, but I also think that twenty-somethings like me have ridiculous expectations. I was very insecure and nerdy until 25 so the only stuff I miss from teens and early 20s is spending nights playing M:tG and AD&D. We had some good moments but overall it's not a period I'd like to relive. And yes, I also felt I was squandering my youth and not having enough crazy fun. The first time I felt like that was when I turned 20 and realized I'll never be a teenager again. Late 20s were finally some sex n drugs n R'n'R. It wasn't amazing but it wasn't tame either. I wish I started that period earlier to get it out of my system. I still have good friends and many acquaintances and I enjoy spending time with them. In that sense it's not too different from a sitcom. It's a perk of living in a culture where people relocate rarely so I still have friends around I've known for 25+ years. Mortley posted:What's the stuff you learned past 25 that made you a better person? I'm not sure I'm a better person but I'm less cheap if that counts. I made a conscious effort to improve in that regard. Mister Kingdom posted:You'll know you're really getting old when you complain about that drat "music" the kids these days are listening to. You might not actually say it, but you'll think it. For me that's dubstep!
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Sep 8, 2014 16:21
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I'll reply to stuff soon but I had to go out of town ASAP and am on an rear end internet connection now. So for a question I was thinking about in the plane while being kept awake by crying, what do you feel about kids once you got older? People with kids that wanted-have-are happy/people that wanted-have-regret/people that didn't want-have-are happy/people that didn't want-don't have-are happy and such.
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Sep 8, 2014 20:28
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Question for the "old/er" people: As a 25-year-old who has a lot of anxiety about dying and death, how do you deal with aging and mortality?
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Sep 8, 2014 21:06
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Wraith of J.O.I. posted:Question for the "old/er" people: As a 25-year-old who has a lot of anxiety about dying and death, how do you deal with aging and mortality? Short version: you and everyone you know are totally insignificant individually, and everyone faces the same fate in the end. The only thing immortal about you is the slight ripple in history you cause. Do your best to make that ripple a positive one. Don't overvalue material goals, titles, or strangers opinions, but at the same time don't go nihilistic and totally disregard them. Like the combat vets say, just realize that you're dead already, and do your best. 
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Sep 8, 2014 21:24
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Wraith of J.O.I. posted:Question for the "old/er" people: As a 25-year-old who has a lot of anxiety about dying and death, how do you deal with aging and mortality? I'm not old, but I used to worry about stuff like this a lot as a kid and had some health scares in my teens that kind of forced me to face my mortality early. The way I look at it is basically that death is inevitable and not really something you can control in any way (other than not being deliberately self-destructive). Worrying about death is not going to make you immortal but it will ruin the time you have left and if it's really bad maybe even shorten it through anxiety ruining your health. Now if this is like some kind of anxiety disorder that's manifesting as worries about mortality, you should get probably therapy and maybe meds because you can't really rationalize that away.
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Sep 8, 2014 21:29
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technotronic posted:... Once I had adult autonomy and could move around at will, I mostly haven't stayed in the same place. There's no city in the world where I have more than 2 close friends, and I am a little afraid of how that's going to impact my life in another decade. Also, everybody go watch Boyhood.
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Sep 8, 2014 21:51
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Obese Janissary posted:I stopped drinking alcohol completed a few months ago. I get hangovers like nothing and it's just not fun anymore. I'm also more worried about my health in general and am going to opt for a better health plan tier at my new work place. I think about investments and banking a lot as well. Well, you know, the Leisure World Study is showing that most people who make it to 90+ drink moderately (they also drink coffee). If abstaining completely is the way you feel best that's awesome, but drinking a bit clearly isn't going to kill you. Thinking about the investments and saving is extremely important and I do recommend getting started as early as you can. I've always been a haphazard saver (good discipline, stupid low-interest vehicles), but things have gone well for me and it's comforting knowing that (barring disaster) I'll be able to have a nice lifestyle when I'm retired. In any case, starting at my age would be a big mistake. technotronic posted:Another is dating... I spent half of my 30's single and it's horrible how the dating pool evaporates. There are very few people to choose from, and those that do exist (myself included) become picky and complicated and usually there's a reason why they're single. When I think back about my 20's, dating then seems so simple now. When you're 20 you can go to a bar or a club and approach anyone without thinking "am I too old for her", "is that a wedding ring", "why am I here, I should have school-aged kids by now". Thinking like that is futile and not even true because dating was complicated (at least for me) back then too, just for different reasons. I agree and disagree with this one. I dated through most of my 30s (met my guy when I was, erm, 37?) and I don't think it was all that bad. The biggest problem from my perspective is avoiding the "married but looking" contingent. And it's true that it's easy to become overly picky and set in your ways. Oh, also, I'm much happier with this outcome than I would've been, I think, if I'd already been married and divorced by now. My widowed 77 year old aunt gets asked out all the time. Like, way more than I do, and by people in a wide range of ages, from 20 years younger on up. The biggest complaint I hear from her is "I think he's too old for me", and it really doesn't have much to do with chronological age. I think if you are the kind of person who stays young and social and open to different people you can have a good time dating for your entire life, if that's what you want to do. quote:For me that's dubstep! Shh, dubstep is awesome.
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Sep 8, 2014 23:02
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First of all I'm only barely 32, and feel a bit silly talking about getting old. I mean if I'm lucky I might not have even lived 1/3rd of my life yet!Mister Kingdom posted:You'll know you're really getting old when you complain about that drat "music" the kids these days are listening to. You might not actually say it, but you'll think it. This is so true. I actually thought when I was younger that I would never start listening to "old people music", but apparently I was wrong. The thing I didn't realize back then was that the change wouldn't happen in me, but the world would just move on. MightyJoe36 posted:I'm 53 and it dawned on me after the last election that for the first time in my life I'm older than the President. I love hockey, but I hate noticing that I'm older than so many players now. Come back Teemu! Wraith of J.O.I. posted:Question for the "old/er" people: As a 25-year-old who has a lot of anxiety about dying and death, how do you deal with aging and mortality? I don't really think about my own death much. I know it's a cliché, but you could die tonight, or in 70 years time. You can never know when your time is up and time spent worrying about it is time wasted. That being said I have started recently being more attention to my own health to try, and make sure I will stay healthy for many more decades to come. That is mainly aimed at making my current condition as enjoyable as possible instead of worrying about dying too early. Also my own parents are now in their early 60s which has made me realize they won't be in my life forever, and has made me appreciate more the time I can spend with them.
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Sep 8, 2014 23:02
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I'm 34, divorced with two kids. My advice for anyone younger is don't loving get married. Just don't loving do it. I spent the better part of a decade in a marriage that I should have never been in, but was too unsure of myself and afraid of hurting anyone's feelings. Also, if you're in a relationship that you don't want to be in, just loving end it. The sooner the better. Regardless of what people will think, no one will suffer for you if you stay in a lovely relationship to make life easier for other people. JoeyJoJoJr Shabadoo posted:So for a question I was thinking about in the plane while being kept awake by crying, what do you feel about kids once you got older? People with kids that wanted-have-are happy/people that wanted-have-regret/people that didn't want-have-are happy/people that didn't want-don't have-are happy and such. All of the above said, I would never go back and relive my 20s or my teens, or any other time period that people might romanticize. It'd be one thing to go back and do it again with the knowledge/experience that I have now, but even then I don't think it would be worth it.
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Sep 8, 2014 23:47
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I'm thirty-three. Spent my twenties in the Marines, working at a hardware store, and going to college part time. I spent that decade of my life pushing myself to my absolute limits, doing all kinds of crazy poo poo, because I didn't want to look back and feel like I wasted it. And I didn't. I'm thirty-three. There's gray in my beard but it's been there for a while. I can't drink like I used to. Things hurt more, and they hurt it a way that sometimes makes me wonder if something is seriously wrong. But it isn't anything more than just getting older. I can't shrug things off like I did ten years ago. That's all. I'm thirty-three. My dad died three weeks ago, and he had no insurance, and my mom had to declare bankruptcy and move in with my uncle. We lost the house I grew up in. It was one of my great fears, him dying, losing my old home, but I've discovered that it's bearable. The fear is worse than the reality of it. I've learned that holds true for all things. I'm thirty-three. I've realized that just because things change, that doesn't mean that they're lost. I've learned to triage my worries. I've realized that I was an arrogant shitheel when I was younger, and I often feel like I have to make up for it, but that feeling has lead to a sense of empathy that I was missing (and that most young people haven't developed). I've started to care more. I help people more, people I would have ignored. So I'm thirty-three, yeah. I've just finished grad school. I'm about to start my first ever salaried position. I live with my girlfriend. And I'm happy with where I am, who I am, and what I've done. I'm happier now than I've been in a very long time, and I still feel like the best of my life is still ahead of me. Getting older isn't a bad thing. It gives me perspective. Hopefully it does the same thing for you.
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Sep 9, 2014 00:26
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27, turning 28 in October. While I'm nowhere near the majority in this thread, as someone who's played sports since the age of 4, one of the things I've found and will echo others in here is the fact your body just doesn't bounce back as well as it did in your late teens/early 20's. That's not to say you can't minimize it, but you begin to get niggling injuries that won't heal as quickly as they did, even with proper stretching and nutrition you're still sore for a day or two afterwards. You begin to lose your speed and agility bit by bit, the desire to win at all costs begins to flicker away and you realize there's more to life than winning the game/season/premiership. Also the metabolism thing, you have to watch yourself a little bit more rather than going hell for leather on anything that takes your fancy. Going to the gym etc helps without doubt, but previously you might've been able to just burn it away without any extra effort, but that's no longer the case. Someone previously mentioned the not having to be right or not fighting every battle as you get older, that's certainly something i've noticed in the past few years. It's like a case of apathy, where you know something would get your goat in past times but now it's like, ah who cares. No grey hairs yet, no balding (in fact i'm growing my hair out again!), small amount of crows feet around my eyes because I smoke but apart from that, it's pretty good. Hopefully I'll be saying the same thing in 10 years!
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Sep 9, 2014 02:23
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I love being married (14 years in), just to offer another perspective on that. But I do think it's important to be sure you want to get married when you do. "Eh, I'll take a chance," is generally not the path to a happy marriage. And definitely be sure you want to have children before you do. Parenting is really not the thing to take a chance on.
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Sep 9, 2014 02:55
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Robbie Fowler posted:That's not to say you can't minimize it, but you begin to get niggling injuries that won't heal as quickly as they did, even with proper stretching and nutrition you're still sore for a day or two afterwards. You begin to lose your speed and agility bit by bit, the desire to win at all costs begins to flicker away and you realize there's more to life than winning the game/season/premiership. It's funny, I didn't do comparable sports in my teens and 20s, so I am a lot more agile and explosive now than I was back then. I'm sure I had greater *potential*, but since it was completely undeveloped the reality was not that impressive. Again, because my activities weren't really comparable (mostly just jogging in my early 20s), I feel like I have more latitude with eating than I did back in the day. My BMR is theoretically 80 calories lower than it was at 23, but my TDEE is probably about 200 calories higher.
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Sep 9, 2014 03:40
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Pinky Artichoke posted:Thinking about the investments and saving is extremely important and I do recommend getting started as early as you can. I've always been a haphazard saver (good discipline, stupid low-interest vehicles), but things have gone well for me and it's comforting knowing that (barring disaster) I'll be able to have a nice lifestyle when I'm retired. In any case, starting at my age would be a big mistake. This is another one that's hugely important, that a lot of people gloss over. Staying out of debt, particularly short term debt like credit cards is a great start. But saving up, putting money away for retirement, investing (and learning some basic lessons in finance) are incredibly important to stabilizing your future. I'm very fortunate in that sense, some of my friends are more fortunate, most are in ridiculous amounts of debt that they probably won't pay off until they're 40 due to a combination of unsustainable lifestyles at their current incomes, and priorities I disagree with when it comes to spending. Start saving now, or at least focus on knocking your debt out as quickly as possible. BFC has a lot of good advice on this topic. Pinky Artichoke posted:It's funny, I didn't do comparable sports in my teens and 20s, so I am a lot more agile and explosive now than I was back then. I'm sure I had greater *potential*, but since it was completely undeveloped the reality was not that impressive. I'm in the opposite boat - I played hockey for a decade, and my body is basically a wreck, primarily my knees and my shoulders. I'm trying to figure out how to get into better shape (I'm not doing too bad, 5'9"/180lbs), but I'd like to lose the gut I have and put on some mass. Take care of your body, folks, it's a lot easier to maintain some semblance of being in shape than it is to get it back.
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Sep 9, 2014 04:08
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Wraith of J.O.I. posted:Question for the "old/er" people: As a 25-year-old who has a lot of anxiety about dying and death, how do you deal with aging and mortality?
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Sep 9, 2014 04:13
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adorai posted:accept the fact that it's inevitable. There is no point in worrying about it. Yup! In fact, worrying yourself into paralysis is a little death of a sort. The thing that's scary about death is the lack of decisions, experience, and so forth. Surely freaking yourself out so badly that you end up wasting part of your before-death worrying yourself down to a nub is in the same category of thing, just not eternal. There are many dangers in life that we simply have no control over, and it's pointless to beat yourself up over any of them. Save your energy for things that are realistically changeable. Mary Schmich wrote some words about this that eventually became a song, and I've always marvelled at the utter truth of them: "Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday." That right there is god's own honest truth.
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Sep 9, 2014 04:32
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Wraith of J.O.I. posted:Question for the "old/er" people: As a 25-year-old who has a lot of anxiety about dying and death, how do you deal with aging and mortality? Once I had kids it lessened for me, like ok so I am gonna die, but my kids will go on so it's more OK than before.
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Sep 9, 2014 07:58
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Wraith of J.O.I. posted:Question for the "old/er" people: As a 25-year-old who has a lot of anxiety about dying and death, how do you deal with aging and mortality? So many countless millions and billions of people managed to get old and die, I can't be worse than them. < I apply this logic to most life-changing events. For instance when I was anxious about going to my first day at work. Mortley posted:Which culture is that, may I ask? European-Mediterranean. I have maybe six close friends and a dozen who I occasionally meet over a drink or share an activity with them. It's less than I had when I was younger. I'm really sociable though, and my recent attempt to move to another country is failing precisely because I don't have any friends there. My girlfriend has half as many friends as I do and doesn't have time or need for more. There are also families, the Sunday lunch and so on. I prefer this to the American way, but there are downsides too. People live with their parents until late 20's or 30's, and when they leave they don't just "buy a house", they are happy to rent an apartment. Pinky Artichoke posted:I agree and disagree with this one. I dated through most of my 30s (met my guy when I was, erm, 37?) and I don't think it was all that bad. The biggest problem from my perspective is avoiding the "married but looking" contingent. And it's true that it's easy to become overly picky and set in your ways. Oh, also, I'm much happier with this outcome than I would've been, I think, if I'd already been married and divorced by now. That's nice to hear and I agree that people exist who can date and have plenty of options throughout their life. I'd say however that on average people (especially women) will find dating in late 30's and 40's more difficult than when they were younger. I'll go on a limb and say that you or the aunt are exceptions, not rule. I don't have any data to back me up, I just go by what I see and hear around me.
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Sep 9, 2014 08:58
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JoeyJoJoJr Shabadoo posted:I'll reply to stuff soon but I had to go out of town ASAP and am on an rear end internet connection now. technotronic posted:That's nice to hear and I agree that people exist who can date and have plenty of options throughout their life. I'd say however that on average people (especially women) will find dating in late 30's and 40's more difficult than when they were younger. I'll go on a limb and say that you or the aunt are exceptions, not rule. I don't have any data to back me up, I just go by what I see and hear around me. For the record, I met my now husband when I was 37.
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Sep 9, 2014 16:56
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I'm a 31 year old male, and so far the only downside of being this age is my thinning hair( I shaved it off and own the hell out of it) and my deteriorating eye sight (Keratoconus in both eyes). Other than that I have more money, the gigs I like to go to are cheaper because the artists aren't relevant anymore and no one gives me poo poo when I decide not to get hammered at every opportunity. I'm still pudgy but considerably stronger than I've ever been, I have been fitter but then I was a competing martial artist (these days I still train but do more lifting) I've also noticed that at this age I seem to attract women around the mid 20's which is awesome as girls younger than that are a pain in the rear end. I've got a pretty positive outlook on my 30's so far I've cleaned up all the financial mistakes I made in my 20's and have a decent paying respectable job (that I admittedly dislike).
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Sep 9, 2014 17:07
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syscall girl posted:That's pretty harsh. The potential maybe, but not the desire. The compromises I would have to make to get elected, not to mention the responsibilities that go with the job, I have no desire to do that. That's one of the things that comes with age; the ability to look at things realistically.
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Sep 9, 2014 18:45
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Cat Army
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adorai posted:accept the fact that it's inevitable. There is no point in worrying about it. This never made any sense to me, as a way to relieve fear of death. If someone ties you to a train track with a train coming, are you not going to worry because it's inevitable that a train is going to hit you? No, you're going be scared of the pain that you'll feel before you die. Ok, no benefit will come out of worrying, but you'll still do it. I'm 32. The older I get, the more terrified I am of what age my parents and grandparents will be when they die, how they will die, when and how their body and mind will start breaking down as they age, and the same for me to a lesser extent. A lesser extent because I assume it's farther away. Every time they cough, get sick, or go to the doctor for any test, I worry. I think about this every day. I'm always wondering if this will be their last month or year. When I was a kid and my parents were in their 40s, it wasn't really something you had to think about. It seemed like such a long way away.
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Sep 9, 2014 18:52
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3Romeo posted:I'm thirty-three. I've realized that just because things change, that doesn't mean that they're lost. I've learned to triage my worries. I've realized that I was an arrogant shitheel when I was younger, and I often feel like I have to make up for it, but that feeling has lead to a sense of empathy that I was missing (and that most young people haven't developed). I've started to care more. I help people more, people I would have ignored. This x100 for me. Also, why are the hangovers so loving bad in your 30s?
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Sep 9, 2014 19:08
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Super Ninja Fish posted:This never made any sense to me, as a way to relieve fear of death. If someone ties you to a train track with a train coming, are you not going to worry because it's inevitable that a train is going to hit you? No, you're going be scared of the pain that you'll feel before you die. Ok, no benefit will come out of worrying, but you'll still do it. Sounds like your fears are more related to the aging process than death itself. Pain and hardship happen and pain and hardship can be tolerated and mitigated. There's a difference of being worried about the idea, and being paralyzed by it. The inevitability of it means that there is no reason to worry. It will happen. At the same time, you should try and stay healthy and alive not because you fear death but because you love life.
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Sep 9, 2014 20:37
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In my case, I was very uptight in my 20s, and I was super worried about doing all the things I should do to be an "adult". My 30s were completely lovely. I lost both of my parents and everything I acquired in my 20s. My 40s are pretty awesome. I feel a lot more confident, I'm actually in better shape, and I'm living my life the way I always wanted.
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Sep 9, 2014 21:04
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Wraith of J.O.I. posted:Question for the "old/er" people: As a 25-year-old who has a lot of anxiety about dying and death, how do you deal with aging and mortality? You kinda gotta laugh it off. Once you start getting older, the odds start moving, and more and more people you know will die. I terrorized the HR department trying to get me to sign up with our horrible health care plan by pretty much telling them that the chances of me dying by being burned alive, or not being found for a week or two after dying was a greater peril at work than giving them money for lovely care that I won't be able to use, or costs me less to pay cash in the first place. I do however miss the faster healing times I had as a kid, or at least they felt faster...
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Sep 9, 2014 21:52
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47 going on 48, male. Hair in all sorts of new and unwanted places. I let my goatee grow in for the first time in ages and it was mostly white so I shaved it back off. White stubble only looks good on handsome people. Makes the rest of us look like rummies. Everyone in my age group is too busy to want to know anyone new. This really started in my mid thirties but it's become more pronounced. Makes for a pretty empty existence if you don't already have a good stock of friends. Not having kids or being married makes it difficult for me to fit in. Culturally I was falling out of touch with things (There's an NBA team called the Pelicans?) so I'm making it a little project to tune back in to pop music, sports, etc. I'm determined to prevent my tastes from turning to concrete like happens to most people as they age. I don't ever want to stop finding new things to be interested in. On the plus side there isn't a goddamn thing left that I don't feel prepared to deal with. I was never one for drama but jeeesus younger people lose their poo poo so easily when an obstacle crops up. I don't care what it is, I'll deal with it.
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Sep 9, 2014 22:13
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Gaz2k21 posted:so far the only downside of being this age is my thinning hair( I shaved it off and own the hell out of it) I swore to myself that if I ever started going bald that I was just gonna man up, shave it all off, and deal. And not be one of those people that hangs around with the horrible looking wispy remnants of a head of hair, like the Constantinople of some long forgotten hair empire. But now my crown is thinning out (unexpectedly because my parents are old as gently caress and my dads been through hella chemo and they STILL have hair) and its easier said than done. I'm still slightly butthurt about it, honestly. I begin to understand the allure of trying to keep SOMETHING no matter how horrible looking it might be, even if I still reject that idea. Just, WHY GOD WHYYYYYYY?!?!?!!? I have a secret weapon though. No, not rogaine. gently caress you. It's a song, and it's the best balm for all age-related angst. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFgVkjx4-cM
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Sep 9, 2014 23:54
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As long as you're not trying to do a combover or otherwise hide it, it's okay in my book. v
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Sep 10, 2014 00:16
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HisMajestyBOB posted:As long as you're not trying to do a combover or otherwise hide it, it's okay in my book. v I dunno I think the back-of-head donut looks really stupid unless you're Patrick Stewart. Or this guy:  Who obviously had that rig only to hide his shameful little fringe of hair. And on the other hand, I saw this dude the other day who had shaggy, hippy-sorta hair except there was like half as much as needed to look decent, and instead ghoulishly pale scalp showed through everywhere. Barf. It's not like I'd make fun of him or anything, but I REALLY don't wanna be that guy.
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Sep 10, 2014 00:26
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Nathilus posted:I swore to myself that if I ever started going bald that I was just gonna man up, shave it all off, and deal. And not be one of those people that hangs around with the horrible looking wispy remnants of a head of hair, like the Constantinople of some long forgotten hair empire. If it's just your crown you might be alright for a while longer, My hair receded hugely before thinning in the middle of the top of my head, my crown would still actually grow relatively well if I let it. Once you get used to a shaved bonce though it's the best and most convenient haircut.
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Sep 10, 2014 00:30
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When I started shaving my head around 30 at first I thought I looked like I'd just been released from jail, but eventually I got used to it. I think it's one of the reasons that people think I haven't aged much over the last ten years. I do sometimes have dreams where I have long hair though!
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Sep 10, 2014 00:34
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Dick Trauma posted:When I started shaving my head around 30 at first I thought I looked like I'd just been released from jail, but eventually I got used to it. I think it's one of the reasons that people think I haven't aged much over the last ten years. I do sometimes have dreams where I have long hair though! I'm not balding but I usually crop my hair down to a #2 because I'm a lazy goon who doesn't go in for hair maintenance. Women I've dated or been in LTRs with seem to prefer a nice head of hair, well trimmed of course. And it can be pretty intimidating, more so if you're 6'4" and basically private Pyle lite. I actually read a study once about how people with shaved heads are perceived and this can really work against you if you don't have the social skills to put people at ease (not sure exactly where I fall here, it can be tough to see yourself as others see you.) But it feels nice, especially in the summer. Definitely a mixed bag but if I start noticeably thinning I'm going to be shaving it on the regular. No bic though, I don't give a crap if I end up with a little stubble of male pattern baldness I don't want to be Telly Savalas either.
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Sep 10, 2014 00:49
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Gaz2k21 posted:Once you get used to a shaved bonce though it's the best and most convenient haircut. I've actually shaved my head before and thank god, I have a decent looking skull under there so its not an issue of just hating the idea of going around hairless, but gone are my dreams of one day having flowing, grey, badass hair. No Gandalf or Willie Nelson hair for me  That said you gotta keep thankful for what you do have, and I'm happy to not be balding AND be one of those dudes with a lumpy, awkward skull. One of my good friends looks TERRIBLE with a shaved head and there's nothing he'll ever be able to do about it. If he starts balding he's gonna have to spend the rest of his life in a hat.
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Sep 10, 2014 00:52
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