or: The Hare makes a Perilous Feast.
SOUP: Hotroot Soup
MAIN: Squirrel Potato Bakes and Trout
DESERT: Summer Meadowcream Cake topped with Candied Nuts.
DRINK: Lingonberry Fizz
-Nun too big Onyon, n yonk up der root cellar veg yous got lying abot.
Brun it oop in oyel, add rooty veg, toop wit water, cook tul dun.
I started the stock by caramelizing the onions and garlic a bit in the oil I had handy (which was bacon fat, you can use canola though), then adding the carrot, spring onion ends, and celery ends to sautee a bit.
While that happened, I consulted on the recepie with my closest woodland friend, Ella Rabbit.
Then I picked some fresh garden basil, covered the veg in 4.5 cups of water, and added the basil.
I brought the whole thing to a boil, reduced to a very low simmer, and let simmer for about four hours. Drain and reserve stock liquids, compost solids in garden. I did this a day ahead of time, and had the stock ready for cooking the next day.
The vermin was also consulted with, but offered little insight.
-2 yonked tatoes
-Crab gonk ya traded frum Otters
-Brun it up gud
Add cubed potatoes to cold water, bring to boil with some crab boil mix. I used about 2 tablespoons.
Lower to simmer, cook until fork tender. Drain. Reserve half for soup, half for Squirrel Bakes.
-Mincied garlik n Green Onyon n Tamater
-Zom brun tatoes
-FISHY AND SOYA ZAUCE
WARNING FOR PEOPLE NOT FAMILIAR WITH COOKING WITH HOT PEPPERS: Do this in a well ventilated area, or outside! Particularly with the Habanero or other hot pepper! Have a fan running to draw any fumes AWAY FROM THE KITCHEN. Also, don’t touch your face, eyes, or junk after handling hot peppers. Wash your hands frequently!
At least, that's what the rabbit tells me.
I quickly fried up a clove of minced garlic in some more bacon fat in the bottom of a sauce pot, then quickly threw in the finely sliced single Habanero. VENTILATE THE AREA WELL. I like heat, and the single habanero hotted up the dish quite well. Don't let the pepper fry for more then a minute before adding the stock and other chopped veg. Let it all simmer while you work on other things, like looking for the Fish Sauce you know is SOMEWHERE in the kitchen.
Seltzer and lingon berry syrup with honey on top, because you had some hanging around. And of course, present it in your favorite Batman mug.
SAVORY SQUIRREL BAKES
-Dem tatoes ur boiled urleir n dint use in soop
- Chezzes, onyons, buttr
-Moosh tatoes inna cheezy, onyon, n buttr. Yonk inna balls. Roll balls in eggy, den croombs. Bake et.
Mash spicy potatoes into ½ cup colby jack cheese, 3tblsn butter, and fine chopped green onion.
Toast up some garlic bread you had in the freezer, and whirl it in the food processor.
Roll into 2in balls, coat in egg. Roll in toasted breadcrumbs, place on baking sheet covered in parchment paper. (I used the same one that the nuts had temporarily been on). Bake at 350 for 10 minutes, or until golden brown.
-Git ur a trout, gut et nice.
-Slitty the sides shallowy
-Stuff et wit slicy lemon n herbs
-Broosh it with spechul winey sauce n oyel
-Brun et til flakey
Get a nice rainbow trout from your favorite fish guy. I use the Publix just up the block from me. This guy was ¾ of a pound, and I was well stuffed after eating him. Cut shallow slits in the fish on both sides,
stuff the fish with sliced lemon and rosemary, then brush the fish with olive oil and a tablespoon of Mirin.
Place in a 350 Degree oven (with the squirrel bakes is fine), bake until the fish flakes easily with a fork, that takes between 20-30 minutes.
When it's done, it's gonna look kinda like this. If you have a probe thermometer, you can be super sure by sticking it into the lemon cavity. If that reads 145f, the fish is safely cooked.
-Ur needin whole, uncooked nuts
-Lotto sugar, yonk o' cinnymon,
-Melty sugar n cinnymon in little hoot water, stir lots. Add nutties, stir lots. Take nutties oot when water is gone.
I used 8oz raw almonds, ½ a cup of sugar, and a tablespoon of cinnamon here. Add sugar and cinnamon to ¼ cup of water, stir over medium heat until melted. Bring to a simmer.
Add the nuts, stir like crazy for about 5 minutes, or until the water is evaporated from the sugar-nut mix, and the whole mess is dry and crunchy.
Dump out on parchment paper, break up clumps.
Refrain from eating them all in one sitting.
Whippy up ur milk till floofy, add honey, sum berrys, and tastee flowers
(this page in the mole's cookbook was smudged and illegible)
Yeah, I'm a member of the Lazy Cake camp, so I used a box mix. But I made them as JAR CAKES! Just follow the directions on the back of the cake mix box, and pour the mix into well greased mason jars.
I However, do not bake these suckers at more then 325 degrees, as glass has a fantastic habit of exploding around 400, and my oven is not super accurate. This is what the rabbit tells me, at least.
Add potatoes reserved from before to soup, then the frozen shrimp.
The precooked shrimp don't need much else but to defrost. Add soy and fish sauce to taste. Nicey up the soup with minced green and red peppers, and sundried tomato flakes.
Use the silly black plates you own but never use. Eat outside, because it's Florida and you have a nice patio!
I could not for the life of me find my fish sauce. Without it, the soup was okay, but tasted kinda empty and watery. Which is weird when your mouth is also a bit on fire. The heat was just past my comfort zone, as I intended it to be, and as it historically is supposed to be. The dried mushrooms were great, glad I found those. Also, the frozen pre-cooked shrimp were underwhelming, but it's what I had in the freezer needing to be used up. I happen to live in a fantastic shrimp area, and will definitely use fresh next time. Maybe make a shrimp stock to bump up the flavor.
The fish was fantastic. I ate drat near the whole thing. What I could not finish, I flaked off the bone and put in the leftover hotroot soup to eat another day.
The Squirrel Bakes are not in any of the books I recall, other then the Great Redwall Cookbook, and I needed a starch. An interesting way to make mashed potatoes.
The nuts were definitely the surprise of the meal, I thought they would be difficult to make and easy to gently caress up. Okay, yes, easy to gently caress up if you're not paying attention, but MAN that was easy. And delicious! I did not eat them all in one go. They were great hot, but also yummy cooled and stored in a tupperware.
Cake is hard to screw up, and the meadowcream is just whip cream, gojiberries and marigolds from my garden, drizzled with honey. I felt compelled to add a floral element to the desert, and used some marigold I have growing in the back arbor. They tasted quite strongly, not unpleasant, just odd, and I would not recommend their use in your own dish. The gojis were great in it though.
FOUR DAYS LATER, I came home from a trip to my sister's, and had to eat up the leftovers in my fridge. This included the hotroot soup. But, I FINALLY FOUND THE FISH SAUCE HOLY poo poo. It was hiding. When I was able to add that in, the soup was darn near perfect. Great with toast and some nibblin cheese on the side.
Always keep adorable woodland creatures on hand for reference and inspiration.
Suspect Bucket fucked around with this message at Sep 24, 2014 around 02:05
|# ? Sep 6, 2014 20:52|
|# ? Aug 22, 2019 14:05|
Came for the Redwall, stayed for the bunny and catte.
|# ? Sep 6, 2014 22:15|
Hoi Suspeck Buckit, yoo make sure to keep yon hares away frum such sumptuous viddles, loike.
drat, this made me so happy! And that fish.
|# ? Sep 7, 2014 00:53|
Man that is one classy lookin' dinner.
|# ? Sep 7, 2014 07:53|
I've never read Redwall but this was a great post. Everything looked excellent.
|# ? Sep 8, 2014 15:16|
Thank you for the kind words everyone! This is my first try at ICSA, probably should have waited for a NICSA, but this topic looked so interesting.
Also, news on the candied nuts, the recipe has spread like wildfire through the family, and now everyone is trying them out. Victory!
|# ? Sep 10, 2014 01:36|
This all looks delicious, well done.
|# ? Sep 13, 2014 01:56|
Even though we've got a bunch of AMAZING submissions for this ICSA, I'm voting for this one because of reasons.
1. Your plating and choices in dishes are great. Your dishes all contrast each other in color, flavor, and arrangement very well. I also have a certain fondness for black dishes.
2. Aside from the bacon fat, I like how you stuck to the pescaterian theme in Redwall. This would've been the main stumbling block in making a Redwall-inspired meal, I think.
3. Simple, but very well-executed cooking, which is a staple of Redwall. I'd be way too tempted to screw around with fancier techniques.
5. The molespeak. Oh my god the molespeak.
All in all, great job!
EDIT: CRAP I missed the voting.
ShadowCatboy fucked around with this message at Sep 23, 2014 around 15:34
|# ? Sep 23, 2014 15:16|
|# ? Aug 22, 2019 14:05|
Aw shucks, your thoughtful commentary is worth 83 votes to me, thus propelling me above the madness that is Steve Yun. I used the bacon fat as a point of economy, it's pretty much habit now when I'm doing a lower temperature saute. I plopped it in for the stock, because i'm so used to making chicken stock, and went "Wait, poo poo, this was supposed to be veg. OH WELL." Next time I try this, i'll do a fish stock with shrimp heads.
As for the molespeak, I now use 'yonk' in my every day vocabulary. It's a pretty versatile word, and unit of measurement.
|# ? Sep 24, 2014 02:15|