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I should not be signing up for this. I have no choice but to anyway.
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Sep 16, 2014 23:06
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Meinberg posted:I've never actually read a fanfic. Just for you, once the game starts I will share so of the very best snippets. You're welcome.
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Sep 16, 2014 23:18
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Dr. Hurt posted:You might want to hoard some of the very best snippets for when the daily contests start. Wouldn't want to give away a free action because someone else used some of your prime material. Even the Optimus Prime one where he has pictures of all his favorite sexual partners inside his rear end?
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Sep 16, 2014 23:30
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Ok, wait one, I need to remember what particular cesspit I stumbled across that one in.
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Sep 16, 2014 23:33
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Ok, found it, it's worse than I remember. Here it goes, this is going to be in parts. I need whiskey.  No, really, this is bad. Love Beyond Circuits, Love Beyond Parts [I'm cutting out most of this loving thing. Look, Jabba the Hutt works with Megatron, enslaves Optimus Prime, and is making him have sex with Princess Leia in a stadium. Then this happens.] R2-D2 aproached Optimus and asked permission to land. "Granted my fellow cilindrical pal, you can enter my dark caves of mystery." said Optimus. "Blip Blop Blop!" said R2-D2. This was his first time loving a robot. He was completely virgin, and was very ashamed he had to expose his intimacy in front of an audience of millions. But their lifes were at stake, so he must swallow all of his prejudcies and engage full head in this life altering experience. "Leia" said Optimus," hang on!" and Leia hold very harder Optmus dick. Optimus got up a bit and gave space to R2-D2. Leia was hanging on Optimus dick while R2-D2 seached the best cordinates to penetrate Optimus experimental anus. Luckly for him, Prime's anus was automated to adjust the best diameter for foreign objects entering him.R2-D2 positioned and Optimus seated on him. R2 was shaking and freightened. Optimus anal cavity was dark and moist, had some loose wires and was rusting from inside. He started to think sex was not made to coward robots like him. "Don't be afraid" said Optimus to R2 "I'll help you!" and Optimus bowels lights got on. Everything wwas iluminated and R2 really saw what it really was. A beautifully adorned rectum, full of portraits of Prime's human friends that already visited the place. A camera apppeared from a wall and photographed R2-D2, and immediatelly put a portrait of him on a the bowel wall. R2-D2 got very placid and calm. After he saw those happy faces on the portraits, he knew Optimus would never hurt him inside there. So, R2 looked around and found a button. It was an elevator button, that raised him up in the bowels. R2 arrived at a tight place, where his metal body got stucked. At first R2 got scaried, but them, the elevator got down, and got up, and down, and up, making a sine wave pattern movement with R2-D2. R2 thought a bit, and felt a pleasure down his electrical circuits and optical cables. Anal sex is like this? If it is, he really like a lot! He was upping and downowing, rubbing inside Optimus upper bowel. Paraffin wax got sprayed over R2 to help lubricate. Optimus bowel's walls were made of carbon nanotubes covered with soft pinky pillows of pure petunia's cotton. They ajusted on the fly the pressure over R2 body and the elevator speed, acording to R2-D2 willingness to go deeper with his innermost sexual fantasies. At first R2 wanted togo slow, to fell the texture on his metal cover. But latter, his inhibition got away, and the elevator got faster, and Optimus got a surprise for him. Neon gas tubes apeared on the walls, and a range of different colors illuminate inside Optimus's rear end with all colors of the spectrum. It was a really shame R2-D2 couldn't smell the daisy fragance permeating Optimus Prime's anus. R2 had no nose. As R2-D2 was a robot, even infrared and ultraviolet colors appeared, and that profusion of rainbow happyness filled R2-D2 with the purest passion he never had from his robotic pairs. He always was considered the freak of the robot school. Every robot dispised him, because of his adventurous ambition. He wanted to see the stars, the other life forms. He didn1t want to be a hamburger frying slave all of his life, doing menial tasks that no one would remember in the future. No, he wanted to be remembered, wanted to leave a mark on history. His robotic schoolmates were just stupid for him, so he picked fights all the grades he did. Trouble was hhis name and no one loved him, because no one approved his future plans for his life. But finally, he found someone robot that can see him from inside, someone that want to please him, that wants to give a hand and collect nothing in return. C3-PO is his friend, but Optimus is his lover. To return the favour to Optimus opening his eyes to the sexual lust all robots should have in their lifes, R2-D2 started to expell small shock waves inside Optimus bowel, giving the Autobot the most tender demonstration of love and gratitute he ever recieved in his life. This action reflected at Optimus penis, that got slightly more elongated, something that pleased Leia: "Optimus Prime" said Princess Leia with a sensual voice, "you are a very horny individual!" [Things continue, until Optimus Prime ends with loving Princess Leia with Jar Jar Binks's severed, pickled dick. Seriously, this is worse than I loving remembered.]
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Sep 16, 2014 23:54
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BTW, not going to be in parts. You got all your getting from me pregame, I am not prepared for the travesty this game will be.
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Sep 17, 2014 00:00
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Rarity posted:I already know what I'm using. You have been warned. Pretty in Pink?
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Sep 17, 2014 00:04
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Sorry, it's called Agony in Pink.Why do I know these exist?
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Sep 17, 2014 00:06
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Ernie. posted:no idea what you're talking about Hurt wrote that, TT posted it, like most fanfiction there was no editing or internal consistency to the OP.
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Sep 17, 2014 00:28
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mr.capps posted:i like this player list You will hate me after this game. I have pulled ten wonderful fanfics to share with the thread. Every single one should be considered a crime against humanity. Well, nine. I'll let Asiina share Dry Bones.
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Sep 17, 2014 02:40
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Magnus Gallant posted:Tomorrow I'm going to make my own fanfic. I gotta pick a thing I know well. Maybe I'll do slash fiction for the cornetto trilogy Make it a crossover slash fic, only way to even get in the ballpark.
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Sep 17, 2014 02:46
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Magnus Gallant posted:Really simon pegg and nick frost boning wouldn't do it for you? It's an impressive start, but it's been done before.
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Sep 17, 2014 02:57
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Meinberg posted:What if I ship players in this thread? Now we're getting somewhere!
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Sep 17, 2014 03:02
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I'll only be impressed if TT pulls one of the true old-timers out of retirement for this.
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Sep 17, 2014 03:34
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Asiina posted:I am actually <really old mafia player>. Your not coming out of retirement for this game.
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Sep 17, 2014 03:37
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Hal Incandenza posted:That pretty much never happens though! I know, you never get killed!
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Sep 17, 2014 03:40
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Dr. Hurt posted:
Garfield was relaxing having some scotch and lasagna when Jon Arbuckle came with emergency news. "Garfield it is terrible I have the bad news." Jon Arbuckle Said with crying words. "Stop your sob stories and give me your thoughts." Garfield said with serious demands. "It is terrible Garfield, Kate Middleton and Prince William are getting married but you are not invited!" Jon Arbuckle said with outrage. "This is lies!" Roared Garfield with angry voice. "It is true. Look and see." Jon Arbuckle showed Garfield a letter that came through mail boxes. "Dear Garfield, you are not invited to royal wedding. Sincerely Royal England Family." Said the letter with insults. "INVITE THIS." Shouted Garfield as he tore up the letter with manly hands. "This is last straw. I will not stand for insults to humanity." Garfield cried out to the ceiling with fist clenched with justice. "What will you do Garfield?" Asked Jon Arbuckle with wondering. "I will do what any good man does when insulted with words. I will crush wedding with righteousness." Garfield roared with determination. "It will be dangerous. Royal edicts are there with power." Jon Arbuckle warned with caution. "The only edict I serve is my fist." Said Garfield as he walked out with intentions. Meanwhile in England Buckingham Palace Prince William and Kate Middleton were getting ready for marriage ceremonies. "Kate Middleton soon we will be in marriage and all will be well. You will be princess of England and all will bow to you." Said Prince William with celebration. "Yes I am happiness. But I wish Garfield was here. I am missing Garfields macho charm and rugged good looks." Kate Middleton said with distant longing. "FORGET GARFIELD. He is not coming for as long as I am Prince of this land. You will be mine and mine alone." Said Prince William grasping Kate Middleton tightly. "But." Said Kate Middleton with whimper. "There will be no buts for YOU. No cat no matter how manly will steal my woman!" Shouted Prince William with anger. "Oh, Garfield..." Cried out Kate Middleton with wanting. Meanwhile Garfield was getting ready for trip to lovely country of England. "Time to prepare for my British vacation. My only souvenir will be flaming vengeance." Garfield said as he packed his things. "Garfield be careful of stress it is killer with heart disease and cholesterol." Jon Arbuckle warned with advice. "I have no time for stress, there is British damsel that needs saving." Garfield said with stern voice. "Farewell Jon Arbuckle. Hold down fort when I am gone." Garfield said as he left for adventure. "You know it Garfield. Show them what a real man is made of." Jon Arbuckle said as he grasped Garfields arm for manly handshake. Garfield then boarded his jet and lifted off for take off with thunder like speed. Garfield soared through the sky over oceans and oceans until he came to Island of England. Garfield then braked his jet and prepared for jumping. "Time for a British invasion." Said Garfield as he leaped out of Jet into country of Great Britain to administer justice like a Prime Minister of iron. Garfield opened his parachute with lasagna logo but was in no mood for playtime. "Parachutes are for little girls and babies in wheelchairs." Said Garfield as he cut his parachute off for free fall fun. Meanwhile in Buckingham palace Prince William was dressing up in wedding clothes. All of a sudden he sensed great power. "No it can not be it must being my imagination playing tricks on me." Said Prince William with self delusional fear. "Prince William we are almost ready for the wedding." Said the servants. "Very well I am almost ready. Now leave before I am lashing your back." Roared Prince William with anger. "Yes my master." Said the servants with cowering. The Queen of England than entered Prince Williams room with words. "This is your special day. Yet I am unsure you have proven true manhood." Said The Queen of England. "I am true man. All will England will see." Said Prince William with defiance. "Why have you not invited Garfield? Do you fear to face real man?" Asked the Queen of England with challenge. "I fear no man or cat!" Shouted Prince William as he tossed champagne glass at mirror shattering all into millions in fits of anger. "I am the prince of all English! All will cower before my monarchial might! Not even Garfield can defeat me!" Declared Prince William with royal decree. Meanwhile Garfield was walking in streets of London with purpose. As Garfield walked with strength steps, Englishmen cheered him and shouted his name with joy. "GARFIELD. GARFIELD." Cheered the Englishmen as Garfield walked to Buckingham Palace. Garfield walked with sternness and determination to destination for he was on mission. Garfield walked and walked until he came to Buckingham Palace gates. "No gate can take my power!" Garfield bellowed with majesticness as he punched down gate with one punch. Garfield marched with purpose in feet as stormed to wedding place of matrimony. Royal Guards came rushing to arrest him but they were not of match. "There is Garfield! Arrest him in the name of prince!" Shouted the Guards with princely loyalty. "Relax my English hombres you are being relieved of duty." Said Garfield chilly as hit royal guards with fists and feet of speed like typhoon sending them flying miles high and exploding. Garfield picked up a guard and raised him high in air like feather. "Here why not enjoy delicacy of fresh fish and chips. " Quipped Garfield as he tossed the guard into the sea. "There is plenty of salt for you in there." Said Garfield with cleverness as he walked away. Garfield marched on his mission until he came to wedding parties with food and drink. More Guards came for ambushing but Garfield handled it like man. "It is tea time have a sip." Said Garfield as he took tea kettle and tossed it at the guards. "AHH NO." Cried out the guards as the tea melted them into skeletons. Garfield came on table of food with wedding guests sitting around on celebration. "No lasagna? What is the blasphemy!" Garfield roared in anger as he threw table on wedding guests. "Lasagna is food of warriors and kings. Do not be forgetting this you worms." Garfield roared as he walked on. Garfield soon came upon wedding ceremony with Prince William and Kate Middleton at alter being wed. Everyone heard Garfields manly footsteps like thunder in the sea. Prince William Turned around saw his fears become realities. "GARFIELD?" Yelled out Prince William in tones of squealing horror. "How rude have you not heard royal tradition? It is the rules that I am first to have woman before marriage." Garfield stated with cold fact. "Garfield you will never have my woman! I am prince I am above all!" Declared Prince William with arrogant laugh. Garfield looked at Prince William with eyes of seeing and spoke with words of saying. "Even princes must obey the law of the fist. But do not being worrying for I will give you fair trial. Here is the JUDGE and here is the JURY." Garfield said as he raised his two fists for showing. "Enough nonsense! Feel might of royal jewels!" Said Prince William as he snapped his fingers. At Prince Williams commands noise was heard. Mighty Big Ben transformed into giant laser cannon and aimed at Garfield with blasting intent. "Tick Tock it is 12 o'clock. Time to die!" Said Prince William with mocking words. At these words Big Ben fired at Garfield with beams of fury. However Garfield was not laser fazed and backhanded laser beam with ease. " IMPOSSIBLE." Cried out Prince William with shock. "Do you not learn physics in prince school? Lasers bounce off of my mighty man muscle." Garfield tutored with teachings. "I silence your mockery forever! Die!" Yelled Prince William as he took out long sword and thrust it at Garfield, but Garfield caught his arm in midair and crushed bones with crab like grip. "It looks like your time has just run up." Quipped Garfield as he tossed Prince William into Big Ben exploding them both. "NOOOOO." Cried out Prince William as he crashed into Big Ben for explosion. "Good night, sweet prince." Said Garfield with cool words as he walked away. After victory Kate Middleton ran to Garfield and embraced him with arms. "Garfield thank you. When I was marrying him I only thought of you." Thanked Kate Middleton with gratitude. "No problem my British biscuit. You must save me juicy piece of your shepherd's pie." Garfield responded with flirtations. "Garfield you are true hero and real man. We want to make you honorary king of England." Queen Elizabeth said with royal orders. "I am sorry but I am busy living fast life of fast adventures and faster women." Garfield rejected with sympathies. "Very well at least accept position of Duke of Ireland." Said the Queen of England. "Fine but I must first be attending to important business." Said Garfield as he picked up Kate Middleton and brought her to royal bedroom where he could show her how real men love women. "Garfield please make me your queen." Said Kate Middleton with warm tone. "I do not have castle to give you but I have a mighty tower for you to climb." Garfield Said with seduction. "Garfield I want you to joust me like valiant knight." Kate Middleton cried out with desire. Garfield then rode Kate Middleton like mighty knight taming wild stallion. With mighty force Garfield Jousted Kate Middleton with manly lance into late hours of night and all heard sound of their romances. The end...?
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Sep 17, 2014 11:53
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Voting me just makes me stronger. Lynch me, and I will return. You can't stop the fics!
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Sep 17, 2014 12:34
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Puntification posted:We should turbo him before reading our PMs. On second thought we should turbo him before receiving our PMs. Your hate, it feeds me! TT, make me a stump, tia.
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Sep 17, 2014 14:17
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##gross aeris pics
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Sep 17, 2014 14:47
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Big Nothing posted:Whats the percentage chance im going to regret volunteering for this Really, really high. Also, confirmed.
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Sep 17, 2014 16:20
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Poque posted:Votecount for Day 1 Oh, I'm dead.
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Sep 17, 2014 16:21
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Poque posted:byers is going to show up in like a week and confirm Close.
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Sep 17, 2014 16:23
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Asiina posted:It's over. Another LYLO ruined by people not believing in me. Always believe me at LYLO. I will never steer you wrong. Yes, if only merk had believed you were towOHWAIT!
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Sep 17, 2014 16:24
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Poque posted:if PM had voted merk they would've won. Hush, I'm calling the people who turboed me in the pregame of the game where they're planning to turbo me wrong. I need this.
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Sep 17, 2014 16:25
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Twitter mafia was a blast.
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Sep 17, 2014 16:41
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MildManeredManikin posted:I want some pregame alliances You and me, MMM, we'll drive this all the way to the endzone, and spike this game over the goalpost of lovely fanfics.
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Sep 17, 2014 16:58
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Meinberg posted:Hey guys, I'm not sure if we're going to get started on time. Taste has been... probated!!! Best game ever. HurtMD, you able to run it without TT?
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Sep 17, 2014 17:00
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The mod we deserve...
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Sep 17, 2014 17:30
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Why does my flavor name say "Spock/Sylar Anal Creampie?"
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Sep 17, 2014 18:03
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Poque posted:Dammit you're gonna make me a jester ugghhhhh But aren't jesters usually funny...?
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Sep 17, 2014 18:19
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Holy poo poo, my tables! I love that there's a bone right there, but nope, loving tp time.
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Sep 17, 2014 21:01
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Confirmed.
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Sep 18, 2014 02:38
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Is it still Night 0? Get your actions in, people!
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Sep 18, 2014 12:27
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Rarity posted:Anyway, what is Hetalia and why is it terrible? Oh, no. The world-ender has been called.
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Sep 18, 2014 12:50
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Ok, I'll try to explain. Hetalia is an anime where the characters are countries from WWII. Like, literally. There's Germany, Russia, Japan, and so on. The Axis Powers are the protagonists. This means that the shows glorifies the ultimate bad guys of the world. People on the Internet are inherently dumbasses, and some of these dipshits watch the show, identify with the Axis characters, and start exemplifying their ideals both from the show and from real life. Think Holocaust or the Rape of Nanking. Leading to poo poo like this: 
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Sep 18, 2014 13:03
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Rarity posted:Taste, you fucker. Hahahaha! Which countries are loving in your fanfic?
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Sep 18, 2014 13:16
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Rarity posted:Answering that question means I have to read it. You should read it. Mine was hilarious(ly bad).
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Sep 18, 2014 13:20
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Puntification posted:Confirming (that after reading agony in pink thanks to byers I'm not gonna read any of the preceeding or succeeding posts), also ##vote byers. That's not even in the top five worst things I'm going to unleash on this thread. That was warm up.
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Sep 18, 2014 13:23
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Rarity posted:Hang on, I said story when I should have said... thing. Don't denigrate art, Rarity.
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Sep 18, 2014 13:31
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