WWE Raw is an electric razor, I swear for 10/6 - DEREK JETER DEREK JETER DEREK JETER

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > WWE Raw is an electric razor, I swear for 10/6 - DEREK JETER DEREK JETER DEREK JETER

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Bard Maddox: Feb 15, 2012; I'm just a sick guy, I'm really just a dirty guy.

LAST WEEK ON RAW:

Paul Heyman comes out to address Seth Rollins. Heyman tells him that if he trieis to cash in the briefcase on Lesnar again, it will be on his head. Dean Ambrose comes out to steal the briefcase. As Rollins runs away John Cena attacks him.
A triple threat Intercontinental Title match between Ziggler, Cesaro, and the Miz ends with Ziggler defending his title.
Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble talk to Stephanie and say how they can't find Dean Ambrose.
Miz talks to HHH about how he wants another title shot.
Layla beats Rosa Mendes.
Dean Ambrose comes out to taunt Seth Rollins and give merchandise to the crowd. He eventually leaves the briefcase behind. Rollins opens the briefcase and there's a slime pack in it.
Bo Dallas beats Mark Henry??? Mark Henry beats Bo up after the match.
Brie Bella has a handicap match against Eva Marie and Cameron. Brie wins.
Slater Gator has a mini alligator. They beat Los Matadores then after the match the alligator attacks Torito and then the Bunny makes the save. Afterwards the Bunny celebrates with Rev. Jesse Jackson and nothing makes sense.
Rusev and Lana come out to gloat about Russia. Big Show interrupts and attacks Rusev then tears down the gigantic Russian flag.
Alicia Fox defeats AJ Lee after a distraction from Paige.
Sheamus beats Damien Mizdow.
Hulk Hogan comes out to talk about to talk about Susan G. Komen. It is boring and meandering, like every Hulk Hogan segment since 2006.
John Cena and Dean Ambrose team up to fight Orton and Kane. The match ends in DQ. Orton, Kane, and Rollins beat up Ambrose and Cena after the match and leave both faces lying to end the show.

THIS WEEK ON RAW:

1. Roman Reigns does an interview!
Why you should care: Everybody knows how much PSP loves Roman Reigns talking.

2. Dean Ambrose and John Cena are fighting!
Why you should care: This is pretty fun.

3. Brie Bella still doesn't like her sister!
Why you should care: Let's get the very first Bella Hella in a Cella!

4. John Cena!
Why you should care: John Cena

5. The Today Show hosts are on Raw!
Why you should care: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

STREAMS FOR TONIGHT

http://bigevents.tv
http://thefirstrow.eu
http://wrestling-network.net/

In addition, WrasslorMonkey made a cool application that makes streams look great. Follow these instructions!

WrasslorMonkey posted:

And here's the bookmarklet that removes the extra junk from streams since it seemed to work out well for folks last time (open the page and drag the link to your bookmarks bar then click it while on a stream page).

All this and more, live on Monday Night Raw!

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:00

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# ? Apr 18, 2024 07:12

oatgan: Jan 15, 2009

what if it was a dildo though

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:02

Valeyard: Mar 30, 2012; Grimey Drawer

oatgan posted:

what if it was a dildo though

Then we would all be very dissapointed in him for lying

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:08

Otto von Ruthless: Oct 1, 2014

oatgan posted:

what if it was a dildo though

File it under great wrestling mysteries, right next to GTV.

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:10

Blooming Brilliant: Jul 12, 2010

Bard Maddox posted:

5. The Today Show hosts are on Raw!

What?

Bard Maddox posted:

Why you should care: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Actually no this was a good answer.

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:12

Valeyard: Mar 30, 2012; Grimey Drawer

I hope it is a pretaped interview, their "live" interview stuff is usually pretape anyway right?

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:15

Shayna Baszler: Oct 24, 2001; i'll always take care of you; Muldoon

i love bryant gumbel

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:18

Writer Cath: Apr 1, 2007; Box. Flipped.; Plaster Town Cop

oatgan posted:

what if it was a dildo though

There's an entirely different network you can tune in to watch non PG WWE content, for only $69.99 a month.

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:33

Chokes McGee: Aug 7, 2008; This is Urotsuki.

oatgan posted:

what if it was a dildo though

what if it were a dildo :eng101:

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:34

Shima Honnou: Dec 1, 2010; The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit; College Slice

oatgan posted:

what if it was a dildo though

John Cena will expose Rollins for the liar that he is.

At HELL IN A CELL!

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:35

waffle iron: Jan 16, 2004

oatgan posted:

what if it was a dildo though

Dildos don't vibrate. Vibrators vibrate.

Edit: Sorry for being that internet pedantic.

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:37

Shayna Baszler: Oct 24, 2001; i'll always take care of you; Muldoon

oatgan posted:

what if it was a dildo though

if i've learned anything from zen buddhism, the dildo is inside you

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:37

Chokes McGee: Aug 7, 2008; This is Urotsuki.

Shima Honnou posted:

At HELL IN A CELL!

Dildo in a Gulag

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:37

Valeyard: Mar 30, 2012; Grimey Drawer

3 months down the line we will have Seth in a Miracle on 34th Street match pulling out an actual electric razor from a box

I wish we had that kind of continuity

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:37

SamuraiFoochs: Jan 16, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Hype for Raw, guys. I genuinely believe WWE will do the right thing with regards to Ambrose/Rollins (Ambrose ultimately facing Rollins in the cell). Last I checked the WWE.com poll was 76/24 for people thinking it should be Ambrose, which AFAIK means it's only getting more lopsided. :v:

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:38

Shayna Baszler: Oct 24, 2001; i'll always take care of you; Muldoon

Valeyard posted:

3 months down the line we will have Seth in a Miracle on 34th Street match pulling out an actual electric razor from a box

I wish we had that kind of continuity

the dildo was hornswoggle all along

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:38

Chokes McGee: Aug 7, 2008; This is Urotsuki.

SamuraiFoochs posted:

Hype for Raw, guys. I genuinely believe WWE will do the right thing with regards to Ambrose/Rollins (Ambrose ultimately facing Rollins in the cell). Last I checked the WWE.com poll was 76/24 for people thinking it should be Ambrose, which AFAIK means it's only getting more lopsided.

Vince McMahon, noted doer of what the fans want.

Alternate comedy ending: 3 to 1? That's a lot of odds for Cena to overcome...

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:38

Mister E: Oct 2, 2006; by exmarx

Look it was a Hello Kitty back massager nothing to get all bent out of shape about.

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:39

Blooming Brilliant: Jul 12, 2010

Ambrose vs. Rollins in a Hell In A Cell makes so much sense.

But that would also mean another Cena/Orton match on PPV.

I believe in the rapadoo.

Actually where's Brock right now? A mate of mine say he's got some organ problems going on right now, that true?

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:46

Writer Cath: Apr 1, 2007; Box. Flipped.; Plaster Town Cop

xNarUtoRKOrton420x posted:

Ambrose vs. Rollins in a Hell In A Cell makes so much sense.

But that would also mean another Cena/Orton match on PPV.

I believe in the rapadoo.

Actually where's Brock right now? A mate of mine say he's got some organ problems going on right now, that true?

Brock broke his wang.

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:49

Vertical Lime: Dec 11, 2004

xNarUtoRKOrton420x posted:

What?

They're doing their part to push breast cancer awareness

This won't end well, especially in front of an NYC crowd

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:49

Delsaber: Oct 1, 2013; This may or may not be correct.

I think I'd be willing to sit through Cena/Orton again if it means getting Ambrose/Rollins on the other side. I can just go make dinner during the Cena match I guess.

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:50

Shayna Baszler: Oct 24, 2001; i'll always take care of you; Muldoon

should i buy this shirt

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:51

Eat My Fuc: May 29, 2007

If only Reigns was in the same spot booking wise that Cena is right now this would be an awesome three way feud and we could possibly see the shield hell in a cell 3 way.

Cena should have been "injured" after summerslam. Reigns should of been the guy at night of champions to have that same match (get dominated but not as badly as Cena did but still get hosed over by Rollins and still look like he might have beat Lesnar).

Instead Cena is just there looking like an rear end in a top hat but being presented as a face. It's a shame.

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:52

Valeyard: Mar 30, 2012; Grimey Drawer

Tonight is the night.

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:52

oatgan: Jan 15, 2009

Omally posted:

should i buy this shirt

only if it has zero wwe company logos and nothing on the back

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:52

Bigass Moth: Mar 6, 2004; I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION.

he knows...

Omally posted:

should i buy this shirt

Brother HH

edit: marks

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:53

Chokes McGee: Aug 7, 2008; This is Urotsuki.

Writer Cath posted:

Brock broke his wang.

But that's the bit he pees with :ohdear:

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:53

Blooming Brilliant: Jul 12, 2010

Chokes McGee posted:

But that's the bit he pees with

Blood, ~~Urine~~, Vomit.

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:54

StarkRavingMad: Sep 27, 2001; Yams Fan

Chokes McGee posted:

what if it were a dildo

Of course it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. Always use the indefinite article "a dildo," never "your dildo."

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:54

dialhforhero: Apr 3, 2008; Am I 🧑‍🏫 out of touch🤔? No🧐, it's the children👶 who are wrong🤷🏼‍♂️

Podcasts before a streaming show are dumb by the way.

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:58

StarkRavingMad: Sep 27, 2001; Yams Fan

dialhforhero posted:

Podcasts before a streaming show are dumb by the way.

Especially when the guy doing them is loving terrible.

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:59

Bumper Stickup: Jan 7, 2012; Mmm... Offshore Toast!; Grimey Drawer

oatgan posted:

what if it was a dildo though

Let me tell you why this would be offensive.

1:

# ? Oct 7, 2014 00:59

Chokes McGee: Aug 7, 2008; This is Urotsuki.

EXPLICIT VIOLENCE

I like the cut of your jib, sign.

# ? Oct 7, 2014 01:01

Shayna Baszler: Oct 24, 2001; i'll always take care of you; Muldoon

you wouldn't download a briefcase...

# ? Oct 7, 2014 01:01

Charles Gnarwin: Jul 31, 2014; I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION.

he knows...

Dean Ambrose recap opening Raw. HELL YEAH

(Cena will still get the Rollins match

)

# ? Oct 7, 2014 01:01

bartok: May 10, 2006

Raw or Shadows of Mordor? Your move Raw.

# ? Oct 7, 2014 01:01

crazycarl: Jun 13, 2001; Welcome to TB Diddlers in Mokena.

Where the special is always Dr Rassmusin's Hot Beef Injection and you can play "Whers my Manometer" with other diners

Is it a sale if you don't sell it

# ? Oct 7, 2014 01:01

Writer Cath: Apr 1, 2007; Box. Flipped.; Plaster Town Cop

Ambrose is so drat good.

So is Rollins.

# ? Oct 7, 2014 01:02

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# ? Apr 18, 2024 07:12

Blasmeister: Jan 15, 2012; 2Time TRP Sack Race Champion

Heard Dean's music, was happy. Slightly disappointed to see a recap. On the other hand, this recap :allears:

I LOOK LIKE A JERK!!!

# ? Oct 7, 2014 01:02

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > WWE Raw is an electric razor, I swear for 10/6 - DEREK JETER DEREK JETER DEREK JETER

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