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Another favorite: during prosecution for gang related shooting, defense calls "alibi" witness. State's theory is the shooting was over a gang dispute. Defendant allegedly belongs to a gang known as the hollows boys. (Don't ask.) Witness: *raises arm to take oath, showing giant HOLLOWS tattoo.* AR: passes note to lead counsel. "That's right...show the jury that sweet gang tat." Lead counsel:  Defense Counsel: *spidey senses. Knows he's about to get embarrassed* Now, before we get into what happened, what does your tattoo say? Witness: Uh...it says "Roccow" (illegible crappy calligraphy...but no...it clearly says Hollow.) AR: *passes new note "Please, please, please start your cross with "Who is Roccow?"* Lead Counsel: You think? AR: Oh yes. Defense Counsel and Witness:  Lead Counsel on Cross: Who's Roccow? Witness: Uh...he's my friend. AR: *passes another note* Lead Counsel: *reads note* What's his last name? Witness: Uh...I don't know. He's like...one of my mentors...we ride dirtbikes and stuff. Lead Counsel: Do you always get the names of guys whose names you don't know tattood across your arm? More words. Lead counsel tries to establish that "alibi" knows other associates of the defendant. Witness: Uh...yeah, I know him. sort of. We ride dirtbikes. Lead Counsel: Do you have his name tattood on your other arm? Similar case, involving another gang and another bullshit alibi claim. AR: Now, you testified that you thought X was going to come after you because you were part of "Nation." What exactly is "Nation"? (Nation was, at the time, a notoriously violent street gang involved in a lot of shootings.) Witness: It's like...kinda like a childhood organization. AR: Oh, like the boyscouts? Witness: *nodding* yeah. AR: Except instead of crappy popcorn, you sell crack.
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Dec 3, 2014 16:29
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ActusRhesus posted:AR: Except instead of crappy popcorn, you sell crack.  Did the judge keep a straight face?
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Dec 3, 2014 16:35
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:
It was a habeas trial...so since there's no jury, you can get away with a little more. Other gems from habeas: Defendant claims his attorney was ineffective for misadvising him (for like 5 minutes) about his maximum exposure, thus denying him the opportunity to plea bargain. State's position is it doesn't matter because the state was not willing to offer a deal anyway. Prosecutor Witness: There was no offer on the file. Judge: Is it possible a different attorney handled the case at any time? Witness: Maybe. Perhaps (big boss prosecutor) had the file at some point. (Clarification sidebar: Our big boss is very hands on and handles a lot of the early appearances to get a sense of the case before assigning it) Judge: Because this is a pretty important case, right? Witness: No. Not really. Judge: *Looks mad* MURDER is not a big case? Witness: Nope. Judge: *Looks madder. Looks out into gallery. Sees both defense counsel witnesses shaking their heads, and both prosecutors shaking their heads. All "nope. Not really." Witness: In our district, we call that "Tuesday." Judge: Oh.
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Dec 3, 2014 16:41
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I posted my question in the Army thread and was directed here since this is where the smarter folks hang out. I just arrived at Ft. Benning and one of the inprocessing requirements is speaking with retention. The career counselor is now constantly bothering me about reenlisting because I PCSed with only a year and a few months left and that doesn't satisfy the 24 month SRR. The retention guys are saying I need to either reenlist this week or sign a DCSS. Is there any truth to what they are saying? I've done my research looking up the various regs like AR 601-280, etc. I can't find anything stating I have a 24 month SRR simply for PCSing to Ft. Benning from Germany. I'm not in any schools currently that have any sort of SRR either. I've talked to other career counsellors and some senior NCO's all saying the career counselor is full of BS. But the career counsellor in my brigade is adamant that I'll have to sign a DCSS soon. Now I'm wondering if there's something I don't know or if he just sucks at his job.
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Dec 16, 2014 18:11
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timma85 posted:I posted my question in the Army thread and was directed here since this is where the smarter folks hang out. based on the Career counselor's I've seen, probably the latter. Let me look into this for you.
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Dec 16, 2014 18:14
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timma85 posted:I posted my question in the Army thread and was directed here since this is where the smarter folks hang out. Fwiw had I stayed in Korea for the entire year, I would have only had 8 months left in the army so I'm living vicariously through you and jerking off to the fact that it's not me.
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Dec 16, 2014 18:17
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I didn't have enough time to pcs to a new duty station from Korea, so I ended up being there for almost 14 months before ETS. Somebody hosed you over good.
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Dec 16, 2014 18:29
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timma85 posted:I posted my question in the Army thread and was directed here since this is where the smarter folks hang out. i talked with my buddy who's battalion retention and basically since you're already there, there is no reason to sign a DEC statement. the only reason you would is if, for example, you wanted to stay in germany because your remaining contract time was under the minimum time on station for the new assignment, but that's obviously irrelevant to you. benning might have a 24 month SRR but the army in its infinite wisdom PCSed you there without extending you so there isn't poo poo they can do at this point except let you finish your time. if you plan on re-enlisting, though, and you're eligible you'd be smart to do it right now, especially since the army has been changing the quotas and windows for re-enlistments on almost a monthly basis, so your window could literally close tomorrow with no warning.
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Dec 16, 2014 19:06
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brains posted:if you plan on re-enlisting, though, you are drunk. Go home and sleep it off.
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Dec 17, 2014 12:58
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timma85 posted:I posted my question in the Army thread and was directed here since this is where the smarter folks hang out. OK, this is really more an admin than a legal question, and sounds like people here with both more army, and more re-enlistment experience than I have have weighed in. I'm going to defer to their expertise.
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Dec 17, 2014 16:14
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See my response in the Army thread. It's not "legal" advice really. Just general Army life advice.
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Dec 18, 2014 01:30
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If I hosed tom cruise does that mean im the inspiration for Demi Moores character?
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Dec 30, 2014 02:18
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What's the outright dumbest thing you've had to prosecute someone for? I've had to treat all kinds of retarded injuries in my time, there's got to be some good legal equivalent to that.
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Dec 31, 2014 22:24
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Just one? there are so many. I suppose at the top of the list would be the guy who got caught downloading kiddie porn on the public computers at Fleet Rec...the ones with zero privacy where everyone coming out of Carl's Jr. can see your screen. He was special.
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Jan 2, 2015 03:31
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Well, that was... dark.
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Jan 3, 2015 08:08
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military justice...a good chunk of your cases are kiddie porn.
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Jan 3, 2015 14:47
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Painsaw posted:Well, that was... dark. the JAG Corps motto
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Jan 4, 2015 23:53
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ActusRhesus posted:military justice...a good chunk of your cases are kiddie porn. Does the military believe in rehabilitation for people like that? Because I sure as gently caress don't. gently caress those bastards.
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Jan 6, 2015 00:48
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Cole posted:Does the military believe in rehabilitation for people like that? Because I sure as gently caress don't. gently caress those bastards. Miramar has a pretty good rehabilitation unit. And there is some research to show late teen/early 20s offenders can benefit from therapy, but the older the offender the research is pretty clear that rehab and therapy don't work.
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Jan 6, 2015 01:01
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Sexual Assaults/Rape/whatever... We (Air Force) get told "less than 2% of all accusations are false." In your experience...is that statement accurate?
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Jan 11, 2015 02:06
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Buff Tannen posted:Sexual Assaults/Rape/whatever... While I don't think "false accusations" are rampant as some in the quote unquote men's rights movement would suggest, that number seems to have been pulled out of someone's rear end. False allegations happen. And some allegations happen because the "victim" is given an incorrect definition of sexual assault. So she's not lying, she's just misinformed.
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Jan 11, 2015 04:09
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ActusRhesus posted:And some allegations happen because the "victim" is given an incorrect definition of sexual assault. So she's not lying, she's just misinformed. You mind giving an example of this?
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Jan 11, 2015 04:16
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most involve the alcohol related cases. Because the military and a lot of colleges are teaching 1 drink = too drunk to consent (which is not the law) you will have someone who had some drinks, made some bad decisions, complained about Petty Officer Never Called to her friend who is also a SAPR/rape crisis counselor/whatever who will tell her that's rape and she needs to report. Of the false allegations I saw, I saw way more "confused about the fact that just because you drank that night doesn't mean you were legally incapable of consent" (not to be confused with drinking to the point of losing consciousness or being otherwise incapacitated....in which case yes, rape) than malicious false accusations. The alcohol issue has basically created a greyscale where we have "obvious consensual sex" "sex that is ungentlemanly but not illegal" and "sexual assault". Greyscale is hard to prosecute. I don't think there are a ton of false allegations of either kind (malicious or mistaken) but pretending they don't exist, or pulling numbers out your rear end doesn't help. Juries are becoming increasingly skeptical of military sexual assault cases and that doesn't help conviction rates.
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Jan 11, 2015 14:15
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I could maybe believe that 2% claim if the truth were that of all the accusations made, less than 2% ended with the accuser admitting they fabricated the story. That makes some sense. I asked a facilitator where that stat came from during our last Air Force "discussion" on sexual assault prevention, and got "from the sheet they gave me". Just throw some random facts out there and if enough people repeat them....
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Jan 11, 2015 19:21
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The AF's SAPR program is such a loving disaster, from both sides.
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Jan 11, 2015 20:24
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ActusRhesus posted:(One caveat...military doesn't have Alford pleas, so they have to actually admit guilt) This reminds me my interaction with the honorable and perfectly polite Sasebo Police Department as Legal O, who needed an actual admittance of guilt to let my liberty incident prone guy pay his fine and take his 45 and 45 （which meant I became very familiar with Sasebo PD vending machines）. This leads me to ask： what were your interactions with Japanese （and other foreign） law enforcement like?
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Jan 18, 2015 15:28
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any chance I can get a quick question on the civ side answered? I'm refinancing my house and the mortgage lender sent my ex-wife copies of my financial information without my permission. Is that allowable (seeing as how we've been divorced a year and I'm refi-ing to remove her from my mortgage) or can I plant my boot way up my lender's rear end for inappropriately sharing financial information?
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Jan 29, 2015 01:01
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LITERALLY SHAKING posted:any chance I can get a quick question on the civ side answered? Hey, not my area of expertise but you may want to try the legal questions thread. There's a bunch of Lawgoons there.
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Jan 29, 2015 20:58
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LITERALLY SHAKING posted:any chance I can get a quick question on the civ side answered? http://www.ftc.gov/tips-advice/business-center/guidance/brief-financial-privacy-requirements-gramm-leach-bliley-act#receiving Yeah, prolly
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Feb 1, 2015 03:36
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gonna go ask a lawyer anyhow on monday. gotta go get a quit claim drawn up anyhow, may as well as while I'm on the dime.
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Feb 1, 2015 04:29
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I just retired today, but according to Art 2(a)(4), I fall under UCMJ jurisdiction for life since I draw a pension. Have you seen any instances of retirees being pulled in for CM for non-service-related offenses committed after retirement? Will I spend the rest of my life with the turgid tip of the green weenie casting a shadow over my cornhole?
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Feb 1, 2015 14:31
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GreenMeat posted:I just retired today, but according to Art 2(a)(4), I fall under UCMJ jurisdiction for life since I draw a pension. No. It doesn't work like that. It's just so if they discover a crime you committed while you were in they can call you back to court martial you. I've seen it done with a E-7 once. He got busted for bah fraud and got caught when PSD noticed his final move didn't match where his dependents supposedly "lived". So as long as you haven't done anything yet you're fine.
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Feb 1, 2015 14:56
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Thanks. I know there's precedent; several cases where retirees were brought before a court martial for non-service-related offenses committed years after they retired.ActusRhesus posted:So as long as you haven't done anything yet you're fine. I'm not looking to misbehave. I just don't want the psychological pall caused by feeling that I'm still subject to the whim of the service after having done my 30.
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Feb 1, 2015 15:40
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GreenMeat posted:Thanks. I know there's precedent; several cases where retirees were brought before a court martial for non-service-related offenses committed years after they retired. I've honestly never heard of that happening. I've only seen crimes committed on active duty but not discovered until after retirement.
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Feb 1, 2015 15:42
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Probably nothing recent. I happened across an interesting paper on the subject written in '06, but I was wondering if it was still relevant and if there were any contemporary examples. It's just troubling to know that it COULD happen. Here's the paper: https://www.johngrassolaw.com/media/retiring.pdf Thanks for putting my mind at ease!
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Feb 1, 2015 15:48
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ActusRhesus posted:I've honestly never heard of that happening. I've only seen crimes committed on active duty but not discovered until after retirement. I swear I've heard of us retired dudes getting yanked under UCMJ justification for ultra loving in some weird rare court martial for crimes committed while retired. But my source is "I heard this one time.." and your a lawyer so I bet your right. Since you can do like 3 keystrokes and find out... could you see what the precedent is for DoD exercising UCMJ authorities over retirees? P.S. Welcome back to America, Greenmeat. Pots kinda legal where you are, go find some charlottes web or any high CBD derivation thereof and spend a day with a bong and your medical/service records, you'll be in for a trip. Later, when you can handle that THC move up to the Sour Diesel and trust me when I say your life will be made better, and your day with your records will be even more revealing. Thirty is ridiculous brother, hats off. You old.
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Feb 1, 2015 15:58
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Looks like technically under article 2 retirees are still subject to the code but because that is loving stupid, all service branches have adopted policies that retirees won't be prosecuted unless there is a clear nexus to the military or it's service discrediting. Fun fact: most cases I found where a retiree was prosecuted for post military conduct it involved being gay. I don't see that being an issue anymore.
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Feb 1, 2015 16:27
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Excellent, thank you!OMFG PTSD LOL PBUH posted:Welcome back to America, Greenmeat. Pots kinda legal where you are, go find some charlottes web or any high CBD derivation thereof and spend a day with a bong and your medical/service records, you'll be in for a trip. Later, when you can handle that THC move up to the Sour Diesel and trust me when I say your life will be made better, and your day with your records will be even more revealing. Good advice. My girl's daughter is going to hook me up with some decent stuff as a retirement gift. I've been told that it's a lot different than the reggie I used to bake with back in the early 80s, and that I need to pace myself to avoid ending up on the sofa drooling into my lap/screaming inside my head. I plan to chill with the dogges and work up a tolerance in tiny increments. Nothing much else to do in this snow-dusted hellhole of a city right now, anyway. e: weird thing to talk about in the legal thread. Awww...gently caress it; gonna get both my medical MJ and AARP cards this year.
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Feb 1, 2015 16:59
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GreenMeat posted:Excellent, thank you! Proud of u
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Feb 1, 2015 17:35
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meh. If it's legal where you are, who gives a gently caress. If not...who gives a gently caress.
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Feb 1, 2015 18:02
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