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current instructions We are going to tell a story together. A story about suicide and cavemen and a snake eating itself and all the other things Group 3 came up with. The protagonists of the story are the three postin' pals Egglands Worst, cute anime girl, and Classicist. The story will be told in turns by our Group 1 collection of bards. Here's how this will work: -Our first bard (Slot) will begin our story, writing 200-400 words or so about our postin' pals -His portion of the story will somehow incorporate one of the things from the Group 3 list -Upon completion of his story, the bard will send it to me in private -I will prompt the next bard in line to pick up the story, but they will only have the last couple sentences of the previous story (and maybe a couple hints/suggestions from me) to build their portion of the story from -This bard will pick a different Group 3 topic, write their story in secret, send it to me, yadda yadda -At the end, we will hopefully have some kind of funny story to read -Group 2 will be helping out in a secret way Does this make sense? I hope this makes sense. As we learned in the durfament thread I am great at forgetting poo poo, so please let me know if you're in Group 1 and you're confused. ----- hello, it's me, pig slut lisa, back to run another thing for you to distract you from your dumb bad lives! i will give you more details about the thing after you sign up. for now i need you to decide which group you want to be a part of. each group has a different work commitment. if you want to be in Group 1, expect to spend about 10 minutes on your part of the thing. if you want to be in Group 2, expect to spend about 5 minutes on your thing. if you want to be in Group 3, expect to spend about 1 minute on your thing. for now, please post which group you want to be a part of ITT. i will take the first ten people who volunteer for each group. also, please either have plat or be willing to email byobtournament2014@gmail.com. ok ready and one and set and go. here's who's signed up so far Group 1 Slot WD-40 alnilam AdvilSmith 5. wth DrSanchez CAT BRUSH FluffieDuckie Matoi Ryuko 10. SecurityDrone Group 2 Bo-Pepper Old Dirty Cumburgs meteloides AAB 5. DickBastardly The Fresh Prince GODSPEED JOHN GLENN tehloki LappyDore64 10. a ritard Group 3 Ectral i am he Siluvayne 5. beer pal Nacho Destroyer Jett SymmetryrtemmyS Sleepy Owl 10. Bwee ----- Group 3's job was to post something that's funny to think about. Let's see how they did! friendly craig suggested a long list of things Ectral mentioned the humor of growing up i am he proposed the folly of the human condition Siluvayne advanced theories about genitals and farts beer pal killed it with killing yourself Nacho Destroyer got all ouroboric on us Jett recommended a silly caveman SymmetryrtemmyS showed us the wonders of snow monkey Sleepy Owl is into bakery humor Bwee got all tender about love pig slut lisa fucked around with this message at 03:33 on Oct 17, 2014 |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 03:42 |
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# ? Apr 24, 2024 03:16 |
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Chapter 1: The Adventure Begins Cute Anime Girl crested the ridge. He was close he could smell it. The air was thick with the perfume of a skull bitch. Just the idea of a small skull evolving into a huge adult skull was making him drool. A small baby skull growing, developing into a budding full boned... poo poo... concentrate... He snuck close to the camp set up, comprised of a small TV playing the 122nd episode of Naruto and a tent with some unknown anime character on it. Cute Anime Girl drew back his bandana. He could practically taste skull juice at this point. When he ripped back the tent cover there was no skull, only the remnants of a skull: sticky napkins, PBR, and a cached pipe. Cute Anime Girl stood tall looking over the horizon and feeling out the scenario. He was read up on wilderness survival, but felt a little out of depth when it came to cheap beer and illicit drugs. He pulled a bag of dried peaches from his pocket and began to eat, thoughtfully chewing as he surveyed the situation. “I’m going to need help,” he whispered finally to himself, “but who?” He pulled the final peach from the bag, a robust specimen that looked more than a little like a soft, smooth, and pillowy vulva. A vulva he had seen before. A vulva that reminded him of… “Eggland’s Worst!” he shouted into the cool night air. When this failed to elicit a response, he retrieved an impractically small cellular phone from his fanny pack, and, using a sewing needle as a stylus, laboriously typed “look around at all we do” on the tiny one inch display. Instantly, almost as if the text had been expected, came the reply, “and then think about how we are all mortal”. “LOL,” Cute Anime Girl muttered grimly, crushing the diminutive cell phone in his rough, hard-worked hands and settling down on a rock near the tent to wait for his possible savior. A sticky napkin rolled by like a tired, white tumbleweed. In the distance, coyotes howled balefully at the moon. Presently, the shadows before him began to shift and coagulate like drying blood, and a mysterious figure stood before him. “Farts,” it intoned in a voice like a shovel scraping against a coffin lid. Cute Anime Girls heart missed a beat. Had he misjudged? Was this the spirit he had been seeking all this time? Maybe it was, or maybe it wasn't, but it didn’t matter, because here it was. As his eyes adjusted, he saw it was not a strong, fleshy thing like himself, but something he heard hid inside his own head: a curiously oversized skull, smooth and worn as if it had lain in a windy desert for ages, but brilliant blue instead of bleached white. Floating in the air, bobbing its head, it opened its jaw to sing: Farts and burps and jizzing, too. I'll conjure up a beat for you! Just as the shadowy figure had taken a clearer form, so too had the scraping, jarring voice turned to a smooth baritone with a hint of laughter behind it. Pushing his prejudices and preconceptions about skulls and skeletons out of his head (out of his skull, even), Cute Anime Girl decided this was a friendly skull, a jolly one even. It even bore a cap mentioning two much-beloved things – weed, and rear end. A beat rang out from seemingly nowhere, full of sounds Cute Anime Girl recognized from when his record player skidded to a stop, peppered with something he wanted to call “'orchestra hit' from a cheap keyboard,” and drums, the drums! So much richer and varied than the rocks and sticks and bones he had beat on his whole life. The skull sang again: Classicist, heisse ich Ich weiss, was du suchst, eigentlich Ich sage dir, was du trägen musst: Ein Ei, Eine Leber, Ein Totenkopf. Mit Diesen, geh nach Osthaven. Zuerst doch drück den Cremetortknopf! The beat wound down. Cute Anime Girl recognized the obscure ancient tongue – his ancestral language, as it happens, which his father had taught him. He ran over this new prophecy in his mind. One of the required items was easy – a skull was already here. But an egg? A liver? Were these as simple as they seemed? Where is Osthaven (East heaven?)? And what on earth is a... cream pie button? “It looks like you're coming with me, then, funny guy,” Cute Anime Girl smiled. Should make things interesting, at least. The skull nodded (or was it still bobbing?) and moved closer. Cute Anime Girl stood up, ready to head east and look for heaven. Hoping to find an egg and a liver on the way. How strange. But before he moved off, he noticed the rock he was sitting on now bore a large, green button with an icon of a pie next to it, where the crushed remains of a puny cell phone once had been. “Ha!” Cute Anime Girl joyously laughed out loud to nobody in particular. “Hahaha! Two parts of this crazy prophecy down already! This is great.” Unflinchingly, he slammed his large hand on the button. From the skull's dark, gaping maw, a cream pie whooshed out – whooosh! - and landed squarely on Cute Anime Girl's face. Cream splattered everywhere. The blue skull issued a jovial laugh, and Cute Anime Girl just couldn't be angry. He laughed too as he wiped the cream from his face and his tangled beard, and he licked his cracked lips. The cream was tasty, anyway. “I hope there's more where that came from – I'm hungr--” Splat! Pied in the face again, Cute Anime Girl chuckled and decided to keep his mouth shut this time (well, after he had scarfed down the remains of the pie). The jolly blue rhyming skull following and bobbing close behind, Cute Anime Girl began east, climbing down the escarpment, eastward to look for an egg, a liver, and heaven. pig slut lisa fucked around with this message at 18:32 on Oct 22, 2014 |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 03:42 |
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group 1 for the byob #1 poster and whoever that is I guess i'll join them in group 1 |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 03:44 |
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group 1 me, i'm a hard worker and i care |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 03:44 |
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J0IN |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 03:45 |
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lazying up to group 3 |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 03:46 |
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OH GROUP 1 I GUEess you still have my email adtrsjfes |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 03:46 |
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group 2 for me because i can't remember more than five minutes at a time |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 03:47 |
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Group me in 2. |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 03:49 |
I'll do group 2 | |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 03:50 |
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Group 1 sounds like good. |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 03:52 |
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Bo-Pepper posted:group 2 for me because i can't remember more than five minutes at a time Old Dirty Cumburgs posted:Group me in 2. meteloides posted:I'll do group 2 same as these |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 03:52 |
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put me in group 3 |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 03:53 |
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i am in teh group of 2 |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 03:53 |
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i'll take group 3 |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 03:54 |
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group tres please |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 03:54 |
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1 |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 04:06 |
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Put me in group one. I need to make up for my pathetic performance last round. |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 04:13 |
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3 |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 04:13 |
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group 2 |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 04:18 |
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3 |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 04:19 |
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wow we have six people signed up for each group, how cool, let's get four more for each group, yeah! |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 04:22 |
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group 1 sounds nice, posting friend pig slut lisa |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 04:22 |
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group 1 please |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 04:23 |
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FluffieDuckie posted:group 1 please aCTUally, you should be on our team, fluffieduckie. |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 04:25 |
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Group 1. I'd like to participate too! |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 04:27 |
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group 3, my time is valuable or something |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 04:30 |
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Group 3 because I was raised the youngest child. |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 04:43 |
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wow neato we have 9 for group 1, 6 for group 2, and 8 for group 3 |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 04:44 |
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also FYI group 3 posters i will posting your instructions ITT and you will be responding the same |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 04:45 |
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pig slut lisa posted:also FYI group 3 posters i will posting your instructions ITT and you will be responding the same ok i'll be in group 3 then |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 04:49 |
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when is this kicking off because im about to go to sleep |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 04:56 |
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CAT BRUSH posted:when is this kicking off because im about to go to sleep this is a slow paced thing don't worrry my pretty |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 05:00 |
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put me in whatever group is going to win |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 05:01 |
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Bwee posted:put me in whatever group is going to win ok you're in group 3, which is closed now |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 05:02 |
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I'll do another thing I guess. Thanks PSL. Group 1 is fine. |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 05:23 |
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I want to help, but I'm very lazy. Please give me something easy to do |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 05:26 |
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:I want to help, but I'm very lazy. Please give me something easy to do cool you;'re group 2 cause rrverything else is colsed! |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 05:26 |
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its good to be in on the ground floor of the lazy group |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 05:27 |
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# ? Apr 24, 2024 03:16 |
I'll do gruppe zwei, looks like we need to round out the numbers anyway. | |
# ? Oct 16, 2014 05:28 |