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MORE CURLY FRIES
Apr 8, 2004



Alan Smithee posted:

His last words to me were "go make some coins"

at least he died laughing

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jony ive aces
Jun 14, 2012

designer of the lomarf car




Buglord

so i know this is just a c/p but

Boxturret posted:

I had printed out one of my favorite bitcoin stories from Eka's and I wanted to pass around the story and we would all read a part aloud, but that didn't really go as planned. One of my cousins said they thought it was "creepy"...?
oh god i think i know which one

凸[◣_◢]凸FREE FATTY CRABCAKES凸[◣_◢]凸 put this in your sig if you support YOSPOS凸[◣_◢]凸

MORE CURLY FRIES
Apr 8, 2004



im not going but ekas is a vore fetish site right

its fine to have a fetish

you dont need to explain this fetish to all of your nearest and dearest

MORE CURLY FRIES
Apr 8, 2004



i mean imagine he was doing this and his parents turned round and just went 'yeah and were big into scat'

TVarmy
Sep 11, 2011

like food and water, my posting has no intrinsic value



when u are born, ur family has to hodl ur dumb poopy self. when u die, remind ur family to hodl coins instead.

Exinos
Mar 1, 2009


Theworstthingsforsale.com ad that's always on SA should just redirect to the bitcoin black Friday site.

Exinos
Mar 1, 2009


MORE CURLY FRIES posted:

im not going but ekas is a vore fetish site right

its fine to have a fetish

you dont need to explain this fetish to all of your nearest and dearest

My fetish is shitposting, YOSPOS turns me on so loving much.

Sham bam bamina!
Nov 6, 2012

ƨtupid cat


Gravy Boat 2k

jony ive aces posted:

so i know this is just a c/p but
oh god i think i know which one
i very nearly made that post but i didn't want to trigger another dump of "that one" into the thread

please dont post the bad story anybody

killhamster
Apr 15, 2004

SCAMMER
Hero Member

Dex posted:

same but reversed

shadok
Dec 12, 2004

You tried to destroy it once before, Commodore.
The result was a wrecked ship and a dead crew.

Fun Shoe

Greyhawk posted:

sometimes i tell my girlfriend about yospos and she just kinda stares at me and slowly backs away

sometimes my wife sees me snickering at my tablet and asks me, "are you reading about the bitcoin people again?"

also she likes to see good cattes from the catte thread.

FCKGW
May 21, 2006

aaaaaaaaaa
AAAAAAAAAAA
HHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!



Alan Smithee posted:

poo poo that totally happened dot text
http://www.reddit.com/r/Bitcoin/com...nk2p4/hes_gone/

Hes Gone (self.Bitcoin)

submitted 3 hours ago * by skyn3tlinux

Welp, my dad just passed away from multiple myeloma. Its a poo poo day in little rock arkansas. But im glad to say that thanks to bitcoin i was able to keep him around an extra 6 months.

To anyone who thinks bitcoin is some joke. Jokes dont pay for 6 months worth of chemo.

His last words to me were "go make some coins" (i made him a believer)

Ill miss him dearly. Love you Dad.

Thats all. Long live bitcoin.

gently caress multiple myeloma!

UPDATE Thank you to everyone showing support. As mentioned in the comments i will collect any tips i get and i will tip every cent plus my own coins to a worthy myoloma cause. So im formally asking you redditors for suggestions on the best way to go about donating to help myeloma fighters/research while still advocating bitcoin at the same time. Tomorrow i will go through and see what everyone thinks is the best way and lets get this done right!

Thank you Reddit

[–]kysarkoin -17 points 12 hours ago
Mad feels. Have 100 bits for your dad, man. Sorry for your loss.
/u/changetip
permalink

it's 3 cents

Chris Knight
Jun 5, 2002

And I'm only saying this because I care.

There are a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market today that are just as tasty as the real thing.



Fun Shoe

shadok posted:

sometimes my wife sees me snickering at my tablet and asks me, "are you reading about the bitcoin people again?"

also she likes to see good cattes from the catte thread.

a goode wyfe

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

Fuck your duck dynasty

surebet posted:

the only way he could've made money was if he was a long time hodler, and if he would've been a better captain he would've sold at the peak, possibly buying much more time with his dad



Stop for a second and remember what you're looking at. That's from /r/bitcoin. What are the chances that his dad has never had cancer and he's just fishing for donations? I'd say pretty high.

Greyhawk
May 30, 2001




shadok posted:

also she likes to see good cattes from the catte thread.

ok that's a given

JFairfax
Oct 23, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 48 hours!


Bitcoin laid bare: Boffins beat anonymity
Up to 60 per cent of transactions can be linked to IPs

The cyber-libertarian poster-child Bitcoin, meant to usher in a new age of anonymous transactions, is rubbish at protecting users' IP addresses according to research from the University of Luxembourg.

In this Association of Computing Machinery (ACM) conference paper by Alex Biryukov, Dmitry Khovratovich and Ivan Pustogarov of the Laboratory of Algorithmics, Cryptology and Security, “few computers” and a budget of €1,500 per for servers and traffic charges should be enough to start unmasking users' addresses with as much as 60 per cent accuracy.


If an attacker needed to be stealthy, their success rate would drop to 11 per cent.

In what they call “a generic method to deanonymise a significant fraction of Bitcoin users and correlate their pseudonyms with public IP addresses”, the authors say clients can be uniquely identified by their “entry nodes”, and that these identify the origin of the transaction.

“In a concrete example, an attacker with a few GB of storage and no more than 50 connections to each Bitcoin server can disclose the sender's IP address in 11 per cent of all transactions generated in the Bitcoin network”, the paper claims.

Even more scary: the boffins reckon they can identify users behind NAT firewalls – and think their attack could be extended to other P2P networks.

The key phase of the researchers' attack includes four steps:

Getting a list of Bitcoin servers using the GETADDR message and working out if the responder is a server using the ADDR response and sending it a VERSION message;
Building a list of nodes as targets for deanonymisation;
Mapping clients to entry nodes; and
Mapping transactions to entry nodes.
The paper notes that TOR would protect against this, but that, too, can be defeated if the attacker is willing to take a risk: Bitcoin servers can be prohibited from accepting TOR connections, but refusing those connections would be noticed.

Also likely to be noticed: to get their 60 per cent deanonymisation rate, the attackers noted, required “a slight DoS of the network”.

“This Bitcoin network analysis combined with previous research on transaction flows shows that the level of anonymity in the Bitcoin network is quite low,” explains Dr. Alex Biryukov in this announcement, which adds that the research team is currently discussing possible patches with Bitcoin's core developers.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/1...beat_anonymity/

poty
Jun 21, 2008

虹はどこで終わるのですか? あなたの魂の中で、または地平線で?


FCKGW posted:

[–]kysarkoin -17 points 12 hours ago
Mad feels. Have 100 bits for your dad, man. Sorry for your loss.
/u/changetip
permalink

it's 3 cents

Tayter Swift
Nov 18, 2002



Pillbug

JFairfax posted:

no more than 50 connections to each Bitcoin server

Er this doesn't come off as trivial to me

anthonypants
May 6, 2007

by Nyc_Tattoo


Dinosaur Gum

JFairfax posted:

Bitcoin laid bare: Boffins beat anonymity
Up to 60 per cent of transactions can be linked to IPs

The cyber-libertarian poster-child Bitcoin, meant to usher in a new age of anonymous transactions, is rubbish at protecting users' IP addresses according to research from the University of Luxembourg.

In this Association of Computing Machinery (ACM) conference paper by Alex Biryukov, Dmitry Khovratovich and Ivan Pustogarov of the Laboratory of Algorithmics, Cryptology and Security, “few computers” and a budget of €1,500 per for servers and traffic charges should be enough to start unmasking users' addresses with as much as 60 per cent accuracy.


If an attacker needed to be stealthy, their success rate would drop to 11 per cent.

In what they call “a generic method to deanonymise a significant fraction of Bitcoin users and correlate their pseudonyms with public IP addresses”, the authors say clients can be uniquely identified by their “entry nodes”, and that these identify the origin of the transaction.

“In a concrete example, an attacker with a few GB of storage and no more than 50 connections to each Bitcoin server can disclose the sender's IP address in 11 per cent of all transactions generated in the Bitcoin network”, the paper claims.

Even more scary: the boffins reckon they can identify users behind NAT firewalls – and think their attack could be extended to other P2P networks.

The key phase of the researchers' attack includes four steps:

Getting a list of Bitcoin servers using the GETADDR message and working out if the responder is a server using the ADDR response and sending it a VERSION message;
Building a list of nodes as targets for deanonymisation;
Mapping clients to entry nodes; and
Mapping transactions to entry nodes.
The paper notes that TOR would protect against this, but that, too, can be defeated if the attacker is willing to take a risk: Bitcoin servers can be prohibited from accepting TOR connections, but refusing those connections would be noticed.

Also likely to be noticed: to get their 60 per cent deanonymisation rate, the attackers noted, required “a slight DoS of the network”.

“This Bitcoin network analysis combined with previous research on transaction flows shows that the level of anonymity in the Bitcoin network is quite low,” explains Dr. Alex Biryukov in this announcement, which adds that the research team is currently discussing possible patches with Bitcoin's core developers.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/1...beat_anonymity/
i was wondering when people were going to start figuring this out. not me though, i'm just an ideas guy

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005


Gold

http://www.np.reddit.com/r/SilkRoad...ealing_200_btc/

quote:

WANTED: SunWU for stealing 200 BTC. (self.SilkRoad)

submitted 15 hours ago * by mrblobby93

Yes those super cool acid dudes apparently are just scumbag thieves after all. If anyone has any contact to them - please tell them to contact MR BLOBBY. (this is not a joke however insane that might sound) After seeing all their great feedback for over a year I was dumb enough to trust them with a big order and they acted all cool, said they were sending half now half later, blah blah, nothing ever arrived and they dont answer any my messages on Agora or SR2. Yes I know sr2 is dead now. But They still have an account on Agora, so they can still login and see my messages.

UPDATE: ** I am offering 50 BTC Bounty for information that leads me to one of them. Either in London or Toronto. The boys are ready. **

quote:

[–]Calittres 8 points 9 hours ago

You floated 200 btc to an anonymous drug dealer and you are surprised that they took your money and ran? And I thought they were retired for a while now? Did this happen a while ago or is this off site dealings? If so then come on man that's pretty dumb. You gotta use escrow for some poo poo like this.

[–]Gandzilla 5 points 10 hours ago

$80.000?

Nice

[–]1and7aint8but17 5 points 10 hours ago

holy gently caress, i'd split with that kind of money lol

quote:

[–]mrblobby93[S] -4 points 15 hours ago

I don't really want a bunch of people giving advice about dark nets and trusting people etc. Just any info on any way to contact them would be great. If YOU know them, either ask them nicely to contact me on Agora, or smash them in the teeth with a metal hammer.

[–]AwkwardCow 12 points 13 hours ago

Lol they're not going to contact you. What are you going to do? Go to the police and go after them? You have no leverage.

[–]mrblobby93[S] -7 points 12 hours ago

Well funny you should say that. I know that SunWu were based in Toronto and in London. I happen to have some very good contacts in London, some very scary dudes that i'll just call 'the brothers'. They specialise in sorting out these kind of thieves. let's just say a few people have been found floating in the Thames. so SunWu if you are listening - don't be a loving dickhead. We are getting closer to you every moment. This is your final warning.

[–]The_Evil_Within 16 points 6 hours ago

The kind of people who have 'contacts' who will leave bodies floating in the Thames... don't go mouthing off about it on Reddit. In fact, they don't mouth off about it at all, they just get the job done.

quote:

[–]mrblobby93[S] -2 points 8 hours ago

BOUNTY: 50 BTC for any information relating to SunWu that leads to me finding one of them. I will pay smaller bounties 1 or 2 BTC for information like addresses, locations. No time wasters. I will pay the bounty when i'm satisfied.

[–]rctid_taco 14 points 4 hours ago

I can provide you with that but I'll need the bounty up front. I have great Reddit karma so clearly I'm trustworthy.

[–]infected_scab 6 points 3 hours ago

I am a time-waster but would like to help anyway.
"I have been scammed but I will pay the bounty when I feel like it"

when the darknet starts to gently caress with you you done hosed up

Erenthal
Jan 1, 2008

A relaxing walk in the woods

Grimey Drawer

Alan Smithee posted:


[–]mrblobby93[S] -7 points 12 hours ago

Well funny you should say that. I know that SunWu were based in Toronto and in London. I happen to have some very good contacts in London, some very scary dudes that i'll just call 'the brothers'. They specialise in sorting out these kind of thieves. let's just say a few people have been found floating in the Thames. so SunWu if you are listening - don't be a loving dickhead. We are getting closer to you every moment. This is your final warning.

[–]The_Evil_Within 16 points 6 hours ago

The kind of people who have 'contacts' who will leave bodies floating in the Thames... don't go mouthing off about it on Reddit. In fact, they don't mouth off about it at all, they just get the job done.

holy loly, internet tough guy alert here

better watch out for mrblobby93 or you'll end up with a cheeto on your bedsheets

Dex
May 26, 2006

Quintuple x!!!

Would not escrow again.

VERY MISLEADING!


first the boys, now the brothers. if you really piss him off, he might get "the gang" together

Dr. Honked
Jan 9, 2011

toilet duck

technically if mr blobby just sits there getting fatter, he is getting closer to them.

pippy
May 29, 2013

CRIMES


Erenthal posted:

holy loly, internet tough guy alert here

better watch out for mrblobby93 or you'll end up with a cheeto on your bedsheets


Christ! Mr Blobby is terrifying!

JFairfax
Oct 23, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 48 hours!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NngdWbvpztk

Erenthal
Jan 1, 2008

A relaxing walk in the woods

Grimey Drawer


that is absolutely horrifying, and i suddenly rate his chances alot higher

imagine that thing stumble-walking into a south east london drug den, incomprehensibly shrieking about bitcoins at the top of its lungs

the gangsters open fire, but the fat body just absorbs round after round, gyft cards slowly leaking from the holes

Weatherman
Jul 30, 2003

SCREECH


expired or fake gyft cards, natch

Soricidus
Oct 20, 2010
freedom-hating statist shill

Pillbug

quote:

I happen to have some very good contacts in London, some very scary dudes that i'll just call 'the teletubbies'. They specialise in sorting out these kind of thieves. let's just say a few people have been found floating in the Thames.
           /
          /

fuctifino
Jun 11, 2001



Grimey Drawer

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005


Dr. Honked posted:

technically if mr blobby just sits there getting fatter, he is getting closer to them.

5

mrblobby would kindly ask that the scammer known as sunwu please return his savings as it is very important to him and he has learned his lesson thank you

Erenthal
Jan 1, 2008

A relaxing walk in the woods

Grimey Drawer

blobby and sunwu at agora, when the escrow fell

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005


oi bruv ya knicked me mate's bitcoins yeah?

Soricidus
Oct 20, 2010
freedom-hating statist shill

Pillbug

please pretend i could be bothered to write a parody of the bank scene from mary poppins, but with bitcoin

Erenthal
Jan 1, 2008

A relaxing walk in the woods

Grimey Drawer

Soricidus posted:

please pretend i could be bothered to write a parody of the bank scene from mary poppins, but with bitcoin

Someone post that harry potter fanfic but replace all the characters with grotesque british childrens cartoon characters instead

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005


gotdamn r/SR is full of criminal masterminds

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005


quote:

Contact Senator Coburn and tell him you want to bid in the US Marshalls Bitcoin Auction, but need clarification whether Bitcoins are 'illegal' as Ken Hess has concluded from his statement. If he replies they are 'not illegal', Ken Hess is finished. It's time we stand up to corrupt journalism. (coburn.senate.gov)

submitted 11 hours ago by STOP_BAD_JOURNALISM



Actually it's about...

Boxturret
Oct 3, 2013

"..fight the mighty bearwhale by throwing all their money at it

then much celebrating occurred after the bearwhle left after eating all their money

i still don't get it"

-Me on Sept 20th, 2015

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XutaTTNihe0

A Pinball Wizard
Mar 23, 2005

I know every trick, no freak's gonna beat my hands



College Slice

Alan Smithee posted:

Actually it's about...

tbf ken hess is an idiot

vOv
Feb 8, 2014



A Pinball Wizard posted:

tbf ken hess is an idiot

you don't say

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

THIS DUDE HERE IS A REAL CLOWN


theflyingorc posted:

The version I saw was about "anal vore"

I assumed that was a c/p as well

Okay I'm unfortunately aware that "vore" is some kind of fetish of being eaten or something, so wtf is "anal vore", is it when your fantasy is that a butthole has teeth and eats you or something? Please explain without linking to pictures or stories I can't unsee, thanks.

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fuctifino
Jun 11, 2001



Grimey Drawer

i googled for a definition of anal vore:

quote:

Anal vore - Anal vore is the consumption the character via anus or cloaca.[12] The prey is typically drawn through the digestive tract to the stomach where they are digested in a normal fashion. Conversely, prey may simply remain in the predator's rectum for a time.

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