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Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

Hey guize, let's all talk about javascript while we pretend to ignore the fact that buttcoin PFRRRT FTFLPPPPLOP



Lucky it doesn't actually look like an ATM, or thieves would ram their car through the front door of your shop, steal it, then when they look inside be very disappointed that it's completely empty.

surebet posted:

please be rational actors and poo poo the thread up about monty hall

Fixed typo for you.

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Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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theflyingorc posted:

pizza is actually pretty good

Not when it costs a million dollars worth of future money!

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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theflyingorc posted:

i also just looked at the 7 day graph, high of 393 and low of 341, we need new animals to describe what's happening, like sharkephants or dolphinos or something

Has anyone said pokecoin yet?

Oh of course they loving have:

quote:

[Meta] Pokecoin? Thoughts? (self.pokemon)

8 months agololwut805Rawr

What does /r/pokemon think about a cryptocurrency based on pokemon?
My idea is that people may use it to buy (and sell) pokemon (or items), which is normally frowned upon...
Please post why you think this is a good or bad idea

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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Aleksei Vasiliev posted:

quote:

If the Buttcoin lot are all such a bunch of know-it-all geniuses, they should have no problem convincing the world to adopt their currency, unleashing the full potential of blockchain technology. They can even get rich in the process!

My suggested starting point:

https://www.github.com/bitcoin/bitcoin

He's right guys, I'm gonna start working on an altcoin.

So what's #include do?

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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trucutru posted:

Well, yeah, but semen tanks are actually useful.

Exactly, how else are you going to store all that semen until someone cashes in* your SEMO coin?

* I dunno, do you cash in URO to receive piss? Is that how it works? I forget, it was a few pages back.

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

Hey guize, let's all talk about javascript while we pretend to ignore the fact that buttcoin PFRRRT FTFLPPPPLOP


Weatherman posted:

how would goatse be improved by integration with the blockchain?

If I got goatse'd, but there was a strategically placed QR code in the middle, I'd probably be so grateful I would give him the a tip.

When goatman gets rich off tips, he will be motivated to provide us with more excellent content.

There will be a whole marketplace of people competing for the most tips.

Early adopters will be the richest. Bend over right now and wait for the tips to come!

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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quote:

taking the 30-day price average of the top two Bitcoin exchanges active on March 13th ( excluding known scams bucket shops and any other fictitious entities )

But what if all of the exchanges are scams? Also the girl that decides what is a scam looks very angry.

Edit: maybe she's angry about her shirt buttons coming undone?

Buttcoin purse fucked around with this message at Nov 5, 2014 around 04:20

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

Hey guize, let's all talk about javascript while we pretend to ignore the fact that buttcoin PFRRRT FTFLPPPPLOP


Proteus4994 posted:

why are you people posting in this thread and not playing bitcoin billionaire?

I played it for 5 minutes but then my hand started to burn so I had to put my phone down, I have no idea why this could be.

Just kidding, don't want to put anyone off playing this obviously awesome game, but I was wondering if it's the simulation of a true libertarian dream: do you do stuff to earn bitcoins, and then when you walk down the street you have to pay the sidewalk? I'd really love to see a game that simulates what the libertarians dream of (well, not just the "I'm a billionaire" bit), I can kind of imagine lots of updates like "had to tweak cost of walking on sidewalk because new players instantly got killed by murderdrones for not paying the sidewalk", "version 100: still can't seem tweak all the costs in such a way that players can survive for more than 30 seconds without being killed by drones", ...

Here's what the game looks like in my head:

quote:

Oh no, you got caught!

Buttcoin Daily News posted:

Buttcoin purse was arrested at his home on Thursday and charged with securities fraud and wire fraud. If convicted by a jury of his peers, he faces a scammer tag and will have to change his name.
[Confess to everything]
[Try to mount a defense by reading law books from dumpster]

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

Hey guize, let's all talk about javascript while we pretend to ignore the fact that buttcoin PFRRRT FTFLPPPPLOP


Boxturret posted:

bioshock is a p good game

Oh so that's what the hell that one guy's avatar is.

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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trucutru posted:

quote:

A better example: Imagine you are traveling abroad and all your money is stolen. You call mum at home to send you more. She sends 500$. You are picking it up at Western union and receive 480$. If she would send you bitcoin, you get 499.90$.

The exchange rate only changed by 0.02% between when your mum sent the money and you got it? Very misleading!

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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Dren posted:

that article is especially funny when considering that the length of a page was entirely arbitrary even at that time and it's only gotten less clear what a page worth of information is now thanks to interactive sites

For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John

INSERT COIN TO READ NEXT 10 WORDS


To be honest, if I generated any worthwhile content on the Internet instead of just shitposting, I'd probably like a way to try to get money for it, e.g. if I was a news website who used to sell newspapers. Charging a credit card 5c isn't the solution to it, and neither is bitcoin because of its no transation fees.

Maybe you could force people to sign up for a free account to read their first 100 articles, and after that say "hey, you read all of this cool stuff on our site and you seem to keep coming back, how about you give us $10 now and that'll let you view another 1000 articles?" Sure, having to sign up for an account in the first place sucks, oh well. Anyway, substitute $10 for some amount of bitcoins because of course it's only possible to do anything using a blockchain.

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

Hey guize, let's all talk about javascript while we pretend to ignore the fact that buttcoin PFRRRT FTFLPPPPLOP


Crust First posted:

his words:

luke-jr posted:

Eligius is a Bitcoin mining pool and I am, as always, committed to doing my best to contribute to and protect the Bitcoin ecosystem. Pyramid schemes built upon forks of the Bitcoin software ultimately discredit and harm Bitcoin's reputation. I hope CoiledCoin will be the last of such scams now that it is clear there are people (not just myself) willing to stand up to them. Namecoin alone demonstrates a legitimate, innovative use of Bitcoin technology, and while I don't personally agree with their ideals/goals, I see it as a good thing for Bitcoin and worth cooperating with.

So if I were to create a LukeJrBaitCoin, then would he just be able to mine my coin in parallel with Bitcoin or would mining my coin prevent him from mining Bitcoin? Because it seems like it'd be fun to just create lots of alt coins to waste this guy's time. I'm sure I could start my own alt coins, I'm not a smart man, but I know what #include is. Maybe he would only attack an alt coin once it actually had some hashing power behind it so I'd have to invest some of my own electricity to actually get him to treat it as a threat and attack it

Actually I just decided I couldn't be hosed putting any effort into this I'm an ideas guy.

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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I'm sure the college graduates writing this new forum software from scratch are much smarter than the people who wrote all the other forum software in the world and won't make the same mistakes they did. It's definitely not going to be vulnerable to SQL injection attacks or anything. However, we should probably start auditing their source code to make sure it's secure. You know, to help them out.

what's #include

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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duTrieux. posted:

what kind of idiot buys their tickets from a travel agency

Well do you think airlines take bitcoins directly, or gyft cards or overstock points? Clearly he had no choice but to go through the only travel agency that accepted bitcoins bitcoins are accepted by many major retailers such as wikipedia.

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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I was disappointed that this wasn't the :::VERB::: or whatever NewSpeak guy.

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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vOv posted:

quote:

The USMS will not transfer bitcoins to ... a public address apparently associated with terrorism, other criminal activities, or otherwise hostile to the United States.

Does posting "end the fed", and telling everyone about how I can't wait to gaze upon the ashes of the current system of government, make me "hostile to the US"?

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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Alan Smithee posted:

quote:

[–]fluttershy17 4 points 17 hours ago

Down $4 million, approximately half of my net worth.

Presumably the other half is invested in My Little Pony plush toys which will never go down because they only have one dick hole and that's in the rear end.

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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Crankit posted:

for ultimate security the next buttcoin site is only available via an html<->email bridge

Use a mailing list. PUSH MODEL.

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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Segmentation Fault posted:

I can't be the only one tired of those sites that pretend they're slideshows where you scroll down to advance to the next slide

I was annoyed to find that when this project I follow relaunched their site it was to look like this It's like you need to make your website an infographic because everything has to be a loving infographic now. It could be worse, at least they're not videos.

I guess in about 10 years the company I work for is going to be like "we're going to hire a consultant to update our online presence and make it more relevant" and it will end up looking like that slide poo poo.

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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jony ive aces posted:

you wouldn't download a car




Anyway I think the whole "someone stole my car by stealing my private key" thing is already solved because the cars will own themselves and drive around autonomously earning bitcoins for driving slowly in the fast lane. We won't be able to go in the cars because in the cyberfuture where cyberdrones deliver us cyberfood, we can't go outdoors because of the cybermurderdrones.

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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theflyingorc posted:

The version I saw was about "anal vore"

I assumed that was a c/p as well

Okay I'm unfortunately aware that "vore" is some kind of fetish of being eaten or something, so wtf is "anal vore", is it when your fantasy is that a butthole has teeth and eats you or something? Please explain without linking to pictures or stories I can't unsee, thanks.

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

Hey guize, let's all talk about javascript while we pretend to ignore the fact that buttcoin PFRRRT FTFLPPPPLOP


fuctifino posted:

i googled for a definition of anal vore:

Okay so it's seriously what the words say it is. It must suck when your fetish can never be realized in real life. Even bronies have some chance of loving someone wearing a pony costume but there's no way anyone's rear end is going to eat you. Oh hangon there was that dude who got sat on by an elephant that time, maybe that's the dream. I'm clearly thinking this through too much, like more than buttcoiners think through most of their life decisions.

So anyway buttcoin is eating lots of people's money so I guess it's the anal vore of currencies?

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

Hey guize, let's all talk about javascript while we pretend to ignore the fact that buttcoin PFRRRT FTFLPPPPLOP


fuctifino posted:

cock vore is worse:

Thanks, I think. I guess there's a /r/cockvores where they think their relatives are paying us to shame them.


Thanks, that was probably slightly less disturbing than anal vore "art". I couldn't sit through it but I learned this:

Wikipedia posted:

reached No. 1 on the UK Singles Chart on December 11, 1993, replacing Meat Loaf's "I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)"

To me being eaten by a dick or a butt seems crazy, but being eaten by Meat Loaf seems pretty plausible. Just wait until I show my parents a picture of me inside Meat Loaf's stomach.

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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Sham bam bamina! posted:

regular ol' masochism and sadism i can understand, but there's no way that you end up beating off to something like "cock vore" or "forced clown transformation" (one hell of an f plus episode) without having been introduced to it by someone else. these weird internet fetishes are such ridiculous, arbitrary concepts - people don't just think that poo poo up on their own, some autist has to combine his random fixation with sex and put it on some avenue where it can be seen and accepted by other weirdos until it gets accelerated into craziness like making GBS threads dicknipples or whatever. there really wasn't an environment for that kind of poo poo until the internet (or at least bbs).

Agreed, and also "forced clown transformation" is my phrase of the week.

So bitcoiners probably hide their inflation fetishes pretty well, right?

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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unpacked robinhood posted:

I've made a huge mistake (self.Bitcoin)
soumis 5 hours ago par chuai
A whole month of mining with no results -- and I just found out why. I've been typing "setgenerate true -1" in the console and leaving my computer on for almost 8 hours a day every day. I'm 14 and live with my uncle. Today he showed me the electricity bill and it was over $300. FML

I assume "computer" here means PC rather than any ASIC-based miner, so how much was he likely to make anyway?


Sham bam bamina! posted:

add "people who know nothing about typography" to the Venn Diagram

Looks like we got a paid statist Times New Roman shill here.

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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Aleksei Vasiliev posted:

i tried days since bitcoin was released but it didn't match up so i ctrl-f'd the thread
so i guess it's just "days since an arbitrary point slightly before bitcoin existed"

You forgot that the time axis is obviously logarithmic.

Ron Paul Atreides posted:

I don't even follow what that's about, is it literally just spending USD for 'bitcoin' transactions? Like this isn't just about buying and selling butts with them, they aren't an exchange they are a payment processor right?

No, I think I get it: you go to a retailer, they say "you can pay with USD using your regular credit card but I pay 99% fees on that, whereas if you pay using your Coinbase account, I pay no fees, so I'll give you a 1% discount", and you say "wow, a 1% discount, I'll definitely give Coinbase the username and password for my Internet banking to save 1%".

I predict the next innovation in the bitcoin economy to be just going to your local convenience store and giving the clerk dollar bills with "I <3 BITCOIN" written on them, this is just as relevant to bitcoin as using Coinbase with USD.

crusader_complex posted:

how exactly are these guys certain that bitcoin doesnt fund terrorism?

I checked the whole blockchain. They're not funding terrorism. They're funding Hitler though.

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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MORE CURLY FRIES posted:

be your own calc.exe

Obviously there is an opportunity here to sell an app that helps you perform the extremely complex process of working out the average price you paid for your butts, secretly mines butts in the background and steals your wallets, but I'm just an ideas guy and I don't want to touch the poop, so send me a cut of the profits in fiat.

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

Hey guize, let's all talk about javascript while we pretend to ignore the fact that buttcoin PFRRRT FTFLPPPPLOP


Boxturret posted:



he doesn't even have to say anything about bitcoin or mtgox, just have him write a blurb about cats and it would make the bitcoiners so mad

If I had any penny shavings I would totally throw them at magicaltux if he wrote an article.

You hear that Karpeles? By not writing an article for buttcoinfoundation you're missing out on $0.00000003 of pure profit! Go ahead, be a rational actor and accept our money!

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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vOv posted:

If this occurred in the blockchain, we would be surely frightened. Imagine that the entire universe is a digital crypto currency for a higher intelligence, and suddenly it wants to reorganize itself according to... Itself.

A rogue chunk like this could quickly corrupt the rest of the bulk if left unchecked, just as we would fret if (in a world that uses bitcoin as a primary store of value) the block chain suddenly decided to reorganize itself from within.

True story, one time in Microsoft Word I typed too many words into my document so it got too big and it became self-aware and destroyed itself, which is why Word crashed and couldn't open my document any more.

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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theflyingorc posted:

it's pagerank, lower numbers are better

Oh thanks, I was confused about that too, I thought FCKGW had hosed with the axes which is pretty much touching the poop.

I'd like to see Google trends info for "buttcoin", did it spike when the FTC said "buttcoin"?

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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Powershift posted:

It's like a whale wildly slapping a keyboard with it's tail.

A rather smart whale though, i mean, most whales probably can't even make words. Some would probably break the keyboard.

A bear whale? I guess they can type okay otherwise they wouldn't be able to set up their sell walls.

Has anyone said bear whale = paid krill yet?

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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unpacked robinhood posted:

Bit451: not even YouTube is safe from the relentless decentralizing force of the blockchain (bit451.org)
soumis 3 minutes ago par shea256

Let me guess, Farenheit 451 is the temperature I should expect my mining rig to run at?

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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jony ive aces posted:

but the grey postchain is the silver to yospos' gold

lol if u read the greythread

POS = sidechain
Grey = uhhh the notsidechain? mainchain? purestrainchain? poo poo I don't know, I should probably check the wiki


Greyhawk posted:

Until recently I worked as a toilet cleaner at a bank. Whenever the customers used the bathroom I would tell them how banks are evil and run by evil Jew bankers and bitcoin is awesome. I don't understand why Mr Goldstein fired me.

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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theflyingorc posted:

senior when most people will have like 3 years of after-graduation experience? (and my "friend" was also at startups the whole time)

I worked for one company where "senior" meant 5 years experience. At another they said they don't bother with that word, they have grade levels which you move up, but if for some reason you really want your contract to say "senior" they can add it in. Perhaps they would do it for graduates too.

Magrov posted:

Pump groups don’t have the best image in the crypto currency scene. This is mainly because in the early days of altcoin pump and dump(01 – 03/2014 for example), many scammers have been around. They “prebought” tons of coins before the main event, just to unload their coins on the group members and dump in their buy orders. This obviously caused big losses for the pump group, and only the pump organisators were able to profit from this. They mainly scammed their own followers.

Hey guys I thought you said I was gonna be one of the scammers

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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Krinkle posted:

what happens to all those bitcoin dust tips people made if the price keeps going down is it eventually going to be where someone has eleven billion individual motes of bitcoin trying to buy one fleshlight and bitpay is like "gently caress you I'm processing eleven billion quintillionths of a penny transactions on a fifteen cent commission get the gently caress outta here with your internet equivalent of a dumptruck of pennies".

I don't think that's the way it works (based on the deep understanding I have from reading the whitepaper[s] [s]the wiki Something Awful). I think Bitpay will say to you something like "to buy the fleshlight, deposit X coins into the following wallet address in the next 15 minutes", and you then transfer Y coins out of one or more of your wallets into their wallet, with X going into their wallet and Y-X (the change) going back into one of your wallets. Bitpay aren't going to care (or see, unless they go to some effort) how you stored the coins. I guess the bitcoin network has transaction size limits that mean you can't transfer out of more than N wallets at once so your transaction won't break the network.

I can't remember how the network knows what your wallet's balance is, though. One way it can figure it out is by looking at every transaction in the blockchain, not sure if it actually does that though. I suppose if your wallet has had eleven billion transactions it might take a bit longer to calculate the balance maybe?

I could have gotten this all wrong though.

Nintendo Kid posted:

no bitcoins have notes on them, only transactions can have that and noone cares to track tags on transactions coins may have been associated with

How else do I make sure the coins you're giving me are purestrain?

hobbesmaster posted:

traits? thats pretty advanced if they're only just now figuring out #include

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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Dex posted:

[–]kenCode[S] -3 points 4 days ago
Agreed, I think the mining side of the ePlug is probably it's weakest point right now because of the limitations that we have with cpu horsepower. It's a nice addon if the ePlug isn't doing anything else at the moment, but the real coin will come from farming out it's unused resources, I mean like how much hard drive space do you have available right now? I'd say I have like 40% of my hard drive space is totally free, so why not farm out the excess for it and get paid in crypto. I want to get crypto into the mainstream masses too, not just meshnet. If we all start using crypto currencies, what will happen to the euro, dollar, yen and such? Exactly. The people can rule once again. Man, I'm with ya. It's only vaporware if nobody wants something like this. I'm just a guy who works at home, loves his little girls and wants to change the world and with something like this I really think we can do it. Get both crypto and meshnet out there. The banks, google, isp's, i'm sure they all hate my idea too.

Cool, I mean why would I want to have just one PC in my house capable of doing everything I need, and one wireless router that can give me all the coverage I need, when I could break the PC and wireless router up into lots of tiny pieces, one per room, which overall might give me the same wirless coverage if I'm lucky, and definitely don't have the grunt of the PC?

The ePlug is definitely a good fit for bitcoin because it's another solution looking for a problem.

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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Hurt Whitey Maybe posted:

Larger insurance companies now offer insurance services in the event of lost coins.

I'd love an actual risk assessor to work out how much it'd cost to insure bitcoins. I'm guessing it would be expensive and make the bitcoiners angry.

Later:

"As part of processing your insurance claim, we need to come to your house and inspect the computer you stored your private keys on."
...
"Sir, in your application for insurance, you checked the box to indicate that the computer would be set up according to best security practices, but not only is the Ethernet port not full of epoxy, but there is a passwordless TeamViewer instance running on this computer. I'm afraid we're going to have to deny your claim on the basis that you provided us with false statements."
"Uhhh okay, so I can get my premiums back, right?"
"You must be new to dealing with insurance companies? As stated in section 17 of your policy, entitled 'NO CHARGEBACKS', ..."

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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FCKGW posted:

Also I was just looking at the Litecoin charts and on Christmas Eve last year the price peaked at $48

Today it's trading just under $3

Is this to do with bitcoiners who put their hashing power into destroying altcoins, or is it just the natural course for cheap imitations every cryptocurrency?

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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Ron Paul Atreides posted:

also yeah in what way could this possibly involve the blockchain, what the hell does that even mean

It means "we want bitcoiners to like us so we included their buzzword". It's probably just like steampunk - you take something and glue some pointless poo poo onto it to make it appealing to losers without actually affecting its functionality in any way.

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Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

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evilweasel posted:

i disagree

when you can make someone part with $10k that easily you have a moral obligation to scam it out of them for a video game spaceship before someone else scams them out of it for something else

after all that money's going into the wrong hands somehow you might as well make sure it's hands that will just spend it on hookers and blow

Maybe I'll scam for good - I'll separate idiots from their money and then donate it to charity.

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