Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me

I wonder how good a resistance you can swing on a MU unit?

If you start with merchant's child pegasus for the maximum possible resistance stat, you can have an 8 but you'll only have a growth of 10% until you can change to Cleric. If you go mage with a Rich Future, you can swing a 30% growth until you go Curate for a 50%. If you avoid gaining non-curate/cleric levels as much as possible, I reckon you might start the regular campaign somewhere around level 5 (2 at the absolute best because you have to gain at least one level in the tutorial), so if you go best growth you might end up with a 25 as a Bishop or Falcon Knight, and best start would only be a 24.

So yeah, hitting that cap is going to require some amazing luck even for a min-maxed MU. Even with the growth drop you can only expect to maybe hit 28. So without a blessing of some sort, you need at least one Talisman, probably three, to hit the cap.

marshmallow creep fucked around with this message at 04:37 on May 18, 2015

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

EclecticTastes
Sep 17, 2012

"Most plans are critically flawed by their own logic. A failure at any step will ruin everything after it. That's just basic cause and effect. It's easy for a good plan to fall apart. Therefore, a plan that has no attachment to logic cannot be stopped."

LordHippoman posted:

Fair point. It was the morning, I was tired, and I just kinda scrolled through Roger's growth table going "Okay what's a downside I can mention here". I forgot how hard this game hated on Res. I know it's always one of the rarest stats, but jesus.

Well, most of the series gives plenty of Res to the magic classes (aside from Dark Mage in the games where Dark Mage is "Mage that's good on Def instead of Res"), but yeah, I think the only games in the series that allow physical classes to have decent Res are the Radiant games and Awakening.

Also, on the topic of capping Res, last time I played, Cecille got some lucky Res points, and on top of her promotion bonus from Paladin, I was able to get her to the Paladin Res cap by using about half of my Talismans. It was the only stat she hadn't capped besides Mag and HP, so I felt like making her completely invincible. :getin:

Though, the only reason I had so many Talismans and other stat boosters was because I generally stick with Steel weapons until the last few chapters, and I only Forge a single ultimate weapon for each character who wasn't going to have their own Legendary Weapon to use, so I had a TON of extra weapons in the convoy I could sell off, plus the Silver Card, so I was well prepared for the endgame secret shops. And this was with significant Training Ground abuse!

LifeofaGuardian
Oct 26, 2013

Every part of every human being-even their ugly sides-is beautiful. There is no limit to beauty.
Cain is really good, and really only falls behind because of his relatively low level, which is quite easily remedied in the drill grounds. In fact, Cain and Frey are probably the best physical units in the Male A reclass set, not counting My Unit. Roger is also one of the best characters in the male B reclass set, together with Barst and Ogma.

Darth TNT
Sep 20, 2013

LordHippoman posted:

If we lure Hardin into the desert his move will probably drop to like 1 and he'll likely die from heat exhaustion before he finishes his dramatic monologue. Unfortunately, he is not following us, because Archanea has never heard of "boats".
Vampires can't cross running water. :colbert:

This was a fun level.

I remember Bantu from th first fire emblem where he was also terrible despite all my attempts at using him. :smith:

EclecticTastes
Sep 17, 2012

"Most plans are critically flawed by their own logic. A failure at any step will ruin everything after it. That's just basic cause and effect. It's easy for a good plan to fall apart. Therefore, a plan that has no attachment to logic cannot be stopped."
Actually, that holds true for pretty much every "old man" in this game and its predecessor except Frost, though if you normalize against his bases and the level he joins at, it results in similarly low potential compared to other late joiners. Bantu has the distinction of having an inherent (before class mods) HP, Skill, and Speed growth of negative ten. Aside from his 15% Resistance growth, his inherent growth rates are lower than Arran's. The only other instances of that are Boah's HP and, for some reason, Xane's Skill. Naturally, this makes some sense, as they all peaked a long time ago, so you're not so much training them when you level them up as you are drawing out a little bit of the strength they lost as they entered their twilight years. And yes, Wrys has okay Magic and Resistance growth, but that's because the bar's not set particularly high there, though one might infer that his magic was as strong as Malicia's when he was in his prime. Another interesting thing about inherent growths for characters is that most of the cast has a growth between five and twenty for Resistance, it's their classes that reduce the growth rate to zero. Only the Pegasus Knight line allows a character's full Resistance growth to take effect, and the magic classes give varying bonuses. Myrmidon, Paladin, and Lord also give a fairly small 5% penalty.

Another interesting thing is that Thief and Dancer have the same class mods to growth rates, particularly a large boost to Skill and Speed, yet only +10% to Strength. The takeaway here is that Julian and Feena are just naturally that swole. To the point where their inherent Strength growths are among the highest in the game (with Julian in the top three with a pair of late-joining characters, one of whom is Est, who needs every single point of growth just to keep up) Once we get further in and most of the cast has joined, I might ramble a bit about characters with interesting personal growth rates, compared to what their growths are like after their class is applied (like how the native axe-users actually have some of the lowest Strength growths among non-casters). It can be kind of funny sometimes, comparing each character's base growths to their full growths.

Glazius
Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry
Remind me again who doesn't have problems in deserts. Peg knights, thieves... mages too, or is that later games?

MonotoneMorgan
Nov 20, 2013

The saddest day in Octavian's life was the day he was asked to shave his mustache.
From (shaky) recollection in order of suckiest to best in terms of movement in the desert maps:
- Mounted units (except P Knights)
- Knights
- Other non-mage foot soldiers
- Non-mounted mages
- Pegasus Knights

Good luck in the desert!

Miacis
Oct 9, 2012

Get off my lawn!!

FoolyCharged posted:

This last map kind of amuses me because it shows how fe3 did escape objectives better than the games that actually had it as a legitimate objective.

FE5 did it fairly well too during the Manster Escape portion, what with the limited roster, strings of endless reinforcements, and throwing an even angrier version of Astram at you. At least here, the opposing force you're "supposed to fight" isn't much of a threat.

LordHippoman
May 30, 2013

I, frankly, want this smug Jagen to be my avatar on all forms of social media immediately.

MonotoneMorgan posted:

From (shaky) recollection in order of suckiest to best in terms of movement in the desert maps:
- Mounted units (except P Knights)
- Knights
- Other non-mage foot soldiers
- Non-mounted mages
- Pegasus Knights

Good luck in the desert!

This is accurate. This is also one of the few maps where the enemy is going to be fielding a ton of mages, so our Peg. Knights are going to be even more brokenly strong here thanks to their higher Res.

Should probably save the strategy stuff for the update, but eh.

LordHippoman
May 30, 2013

I, frankly, want this smug Jagen to be my avatar on all forms of social media immediately.
Update 21: gently caress Sand (Prep)

Last time, we made a harrowing escape from the Archanean army and Emperor Hardin.

The journey was so full of excitement and danger that Steve dropped all her photos, meaning I completely forgot to screencap the pre-chapter dialogue on this one. Serenes should help though.



Narration: Marth barely succeeded in escaping, disembarking in the desert of Khadein. He elected to await his subordinates' safe arrival.
Khadein, the city of magic, is a sanctuary for mages. Many prospecting mages come here and undergo rigorous training.
Magic relies on containing nature's energies in "tomes" and "staves", freely manipulating these energies to harness great power. A few centuries ago, a lone sage founded an academy here, teaching magic's secrets.

However, instead of bringing happiness, magic was soon used as a tool of war and a thing to be traded. The sage was disappointed, and vanished from the pages of history. Though there is no confirmation, some say that was the Archsage Gotoh.

Currently, advanced magic like Aura cannot be made without the orbs' power, and their use is restricted to a few chosen ones. Those conditions are set by their creator, and they can only be inherited by those who qualify. Khadein, the city of magic... the proud Sanctuary of Sorcery.

Fascinating. Glad to know one of the last tomes of advanced magic in the world has been resting in our inventory since Chapter 2.

: Sire, am I glad to see you!

: Steve! Thank goodness. Is everyone else okay?

: Yes, everyone who survived is here.

I imagine this line makes more sense if you've been losing people, but in this context it makes Steve sound like she accidentally dropped Draug into the ocean or something.

: Amazing. I don't know how you all managed to escape that onslaught...

The actual story depends on your luck level. Since Steve has middling luck (I'm fairly sure 13 counts as "middling" for this, I'll include High too just in case):

: (Middle) Your thoughts are mine. But somehow we were able to shake off the enemy and escape.

: (High) We were most fortunate. A sandstorm was brewing as we were making our escape... Thanks to the obscuring sands, the enemy lost sight of us, and we were able to escape with ease. Even during normal battles, I seem to have lucky moments like that.



Pre-map session, you know the drill, How's Everyone?



In the desert? So like...a camel?















Onto the map itself...



This is a reused map from the prequel. There are quite a few of them in the game, the last one was also in the prequel. Though, you were going from North to South instead of the other way around.



Both of these chests are super useful, the top right one is absolutely required. You all know what I mean by now, there's a Starshard there. Restart if you miss it.



The enemies here are predominantly mages and Dracoknights, who aren't impeded by the terrain, so bow users are going to be handy to pick the fliers off.



There are also, unfortunately, two Swarm Bishops making their obnoxious return from Chapter 6 flanking the boss.



The boss here is a Bishop, Yodel. Not the Bishop Yodel from FE6. Different guy entirely.





Two thieves with interesting items here. Chasing them down is worth your time.



And in the top right corner is a village. This one houses not only a recruitable character, but also a Starshard, so we need to get to it, fast.



Last but not least, this guy is hanging out in this pack of enemies. That's a class we haven't seen, they're promoted Dark Mages, and basically tankier but weaker hitting Sages. Dark Magic doesn't exist in this game, so they just use standard tomes/staves.



Lots of dialogue this time around.

Murder for Dinner



: Yes. Today, I made candy. I was thinking of sharing some with everyone... Here. This is for you, Steve.

I'd bet Caeda makes those old people candies that are shaped like fruit. I actually really like those.

: Thank you. Such an elaborately-crafted candy... I'm sure Prince Marth will be touched, too.

: Heehee, thanks.

: ...Maybe I should learn how to cook, too. If I could cook as well as you, Princess, then perhaps I could become a bit more lady-like, maybe...?

: Are you bad at cooking, Steve?



:wal: : "I'VE CHEWED ON LOTS OF SWORDS IN MY DAY, KID, AND THIS IS A SWORD WITH SALT ON IT"

: Oh my gosh.

: Many times I'd attempt to cook, but... Grandfather always stopped me. When I told him I would become the world's strongest, he'd tell me: "I'm sure you can do it." But when I said I wanted to make dinner, he'd say: "If you must insist, then you must strike me down first"... just like that.

: Oh my.

Is it just me or has Caeda totally checked out of this conversation?

: Since I was raised like a boy... I don't know how to do anything girly. But, I think it'd be wonderful if I could make candies and share them with others as presents...

: Gosh. Steve, don't tell me you have eyes for someone?

: N-no, there's no such person!

: You don't need to be embarrassed. We're both girls, remember.

: Eh-heh, I'm no good with this sort of thing...

Marth Has Not Been Paying Any Attention

: Hello, Steve. Are you doing anything?

: Yes. I am off to the drill grounds.

Pssh, no you aren't. I'm not spending money to level the highest level person in my army even more.

: The drill grounds? That's the place where you can acquire further battle experience, correct?

Marth we've had these for like 7 or 8 chapters now.

: Yes, it's a wonderful place. It costs money, true, but if you land a winning streak, you can obtain more experience than in actual battles. So I'm sure we can all become much, much stronger if we visit it.

: That's how you plan to become stronger, Steve...? I'm amazed by your commitment.

: Yes, I shall work hard so that I may live up to your expectations. If I become stronger, I can also fight stronger opponents... It's quite thrilling. Oh...

Steve's bloodthirst is peeking out again.

: Is something wrong?

: No, I just realized what I just said wasn't very feminine...

I swear I didn't get these two base conversations back to back on purpose. This is just Steve's identity crisis day.

: Haha, perhaps indeed. Does it bother you?

: Yes... Even as a child, all I ever did was training. I don't know to do girly things, like cooking or sewing. Until now, I told myself I'm a knight before I'm a woman, but... As of late, I noticed I've even started thinking like a man, and... That's just embarrassing.



Steve knows what some of you folks have been doing. :colbert:

: Though I think you're girly enough, Steve.

: Y-you speak truly?

: Yes. When you heard me talk about bathing, your face turned bright red... No doubt, I think that part of you is very girly.

Marth is kind of a dick.

: A-ah, about that episode... Please don't mention it again... Oh dear, how embarrassing...

Here's everything that just happened to you

: After hearing that our homeland Altea had been crushed by Archanea, we rushed to its aid. However, we were stopped in our tracks by Emperor Hardin of Archanea and now we must run away from Altea's direction. This is just too much for these old bones to bear... Hardin is protected by an arcane power... We won't be able to save our homeland if we don't do something about him. Right now, we have no choice but to take refuge in Khadein and search for a method to defeat Hardin.

Jagen just really wishes he got to be the narrator in this game.

Just Deserts



Oh yeah, Linde is here. Remember her from Chapter 2?

: Are you familiar with Khadein, Linde? If there's anything we should pay attention to during battle, I'd like you to tell me.

: Oh yes... As you can see, Khadein is a desert. Most people get their feet caught up in the sand and have a hard time moving. But as mages dress lightly, they can move around like normal in the desert. Of course that goes for enemy mages too, so do be careful.

So, here's the thing about deserts and sand. We saw a bit of it back in Chapter 4, but it's out in full force here. Knights? Useless here, they have almost no movement. Same goes for Cavaliers. The only units who have no movement penalty are mages and fliers.

So we're pretty much all going to be slower here, and people like Luke and Roger are going to be much less useful unless they get a reclass, so I'll probably just leave them out of this one.

Oh, speaking of that.



Back to Myrm for you right now, Steve.

To close things out, I sold some of our Bullions and spent the money on some Drill Grounds runs for our lower level characters.









Next time, Jagen will die of heat stroke. See you then.

LordHippoman fucked around with this message at 03:13 on May 24, 2015

marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me

If you class swapped Roger into a Mercenary right now, he'd be as fast as your Navarre and still have more defense.

LordHippoman
May 30, 2013

I, frankly, want this smug Jagen to be my avatar on all forms of social media immediately.

Lotish posted:

If you class swapped Roger into a Mercenary right now, he'd be as fast as your Navarre and still have more defense.



:eyepop:

drat, Roger. If not for that E in swords and our lack of Arms Scrolls aside from one I'm saving for Steve, I would do this immediately.

Solumin
Jan 11, 2013
Just wanted to say I enjoyed the little touches you added, especially the Waldorf line. :allears:

The between-mission conversations are a neat way of throwing in some character building and story that would be otherwise stuck in the cutscenes. I wish other games did something like it. Like maybe Advance Wars, since that's the sister series of FE.

EclecticTastes
Sep 17, 2012

"Most plans are critically flawed by their own logic. A failure at any step will ruin everything after it. That's just basic cause and effect. It's easy for a good plan to fall apart. Therefore, a plan that has no attachment to logic cannot be stopped."
Actually, Dark Mages, while they do have higher Resistance than Mages, also have higher Speed growth, with lower Magic and Strength (the stat line is identical to that of Sages, in fact). The reason the class seems tankier is because Etzel has the single highest personal Defense growth in the game, and a much lower Speed growth than Merric or Linde, though it's the same as Ellerean, which, all else being equal, results in Etzel being slightly faster on average due to the lower Speed of Mages. However, Etzel's prepromote status and middling bases paired with stat growths more appropriate for a non-prepromote mean he's actually not all that useful. Native casters having personal Strength growths of zero kind of ruins his chances as a General.

EDIT: Also, to be fair, the base stats for Sorcerer are a bit higher on Defense/Resistance, but the trade-off is actually on Magic and Strength.

EclecticTastes fucked around with this message at 02:41 on May 24, 2015

LordHippoman
May 30, 2013

I, frankly, want this smug Jagen to be my avatar on all forms of social media immediately.

Solumin posted:

Just wanted to say I enjoyed the little touches you added, especially the Waldorf line. :allears:

The between-mission conversations are a neat way of throwing in some character building and story that would be otherwise stuck in the cutscenes. I wish other games did something like it. Like maybe Advance Wars, since that's the sister series of FE.

Hey, thanks!

And yeah, that's honestly one reason I prefer this game to the prequel. There are characters who don't get a single line of dialogue, and most only have a recruitment conversation unless they're Marth/Nyna. Most Fire Emblems have you do those conversations on the field itself, but it's all in the base this time around, which I don't really mind.

EclecticTastes posted:

Actually, Dark Mages, while they do have higher Resistance than Mages, also have higher Speed growth, with lower Magic and Strength.

EDIT: Also, to be fair, the base stats for Sorcerer are a bit higher on Defense/Resistance, but the trade-off is actually on Magic and Strength.

poo poo, I was staring at that line for like 5 minutes like "Okay, I'm pretty sure this is how this works." I knew it was Mag or Speed. I'll fix it.

LordHippoman fucked around with this message at 03:09 on May 24, 2015

WrightOfWay
Jul 24, 2010


I like Etzel. He's slow as poo poo and basically never going to double but he has a nice magic base and B tomes gives him access to a very useful weapon next map. D staves gives him just enough to hit B staves by the time it matters for some useful utility though he probably won't ever hit A for Fortify.

LifeofaGuardian
Oct 26, 2013

Every part of every human being-even their ugly sides-is beautiful. There is no limit to beauty.

LordHippoman posted:

:eyepop:

drat, Roger. If not for that E in swords and our lack of Arms Scrolls aside from one I'm saving for Steve, I would do this immediately.

Both Roger and Draug really just want to get out of Knight as soon as possible.

EclecticTastes
Sep 17, 2012

"Most plans are critically flawed by their own logic. A failure at any step will ruin everything after it. That's just basic cause and effect. It's easy for a good plan to fall apart. Therefore, a plan that has no attachment to logic cannot be stopped."

WrightOfWay posted:

I like Etzel. He's slow as poo poo and basically never going to double but he has a nice magic base and B tomes gives him access to a very useful weapon next map. D staves gives him just enough to hit B staves by the time it matters for some useful utility though he probably won't ever hit A for Fortify.

The problem with Etzel isn't so much his stats (though his Speed is a killer), it's his level. Guy's a level 6 Sorcerer with decidedly mediocre bases and growths and a mere fourteen levels to fix it, and you get Merric back next chapter, making every other tome-user in the game obsolete.

Testekill
Nov 1, 2012

I demand to be taken seriously

:aronrex:

It wouldn't be Fire Emblem if a character wasn't immediately made redundant.

vilkacis
Feb 16, 2011

LordHippoman posted:

I imagine this line makes more sense if you've been losing people, but in this context it makes Steve sound like she accidentally dropped Draug into the ocean or something.



LordHippoman posted:



In the desert? So like...a camel?

Camel spider.


:golfclap:




also may I suggest that we never mention the "girly Steve" conversations ever again okay thanks.

LifeofaGuardian
Oct 26, 2013

Every part of every human being-even their ugly sides-is beautiful. There is no limit to beauty.

Testekill posted:

It wouldn't be Fire Emblem if a character wasn't immediately made redundant.

See also: Samto, who's made redundant by Radd, who's immediately made redundant by Navarre.

Glazius
Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry
Aw, don't worry Steve. Everybody wants to marry a war hero!

Darth TNT
Sep 20, 2013
:golfclap:


That at least is worth the experience. :ohdear:

fade5
May 31, 2012

by exmarx

LordHippoman posted:



This is a reused map from the prequel. There are quite a few of them in the game, the last one was also in the prequel. Though, you were going from North to South instead of the other way around.
I remember this map from Shadow Dragon, mainly because I had Sage Lena literally facetank Gharnef for the entire chapter. Neither of them could damage each other at all, it was hilarious.:haw:


This is why I love reclassing so much. Malicia went from being a non-attacking healer to being front-line magical nuke in the space of less than 10 levels. Seriously, 12 magic, 12 Speed, and 18 luck on a level ten mage? I love it when a reclassed unit goes and exceeds all expectations.:eyepop:

fade5 fucked around with this message at 03:39 on May 27, 2015

EclecticTastes
Sep 17, 2012

"Most plans are critically flawed by their own logic. A failure at any step will ruin everything after it. That's just basic cause and effect. It's easy for a good plan to fall apart. Therefore, a plan that has no attachment to logic cannot be stopped."

fade5 posted:


This is why I love reclassing so much. Malicia went from being a non-attacking healer to being front-line magical nuke in the space of less than 10 levels. Seriously, 12 magic, 12 Speed, and 18 luck on a level ten mage? I love it when a reclassed unit goes and exceeds all expectations.:eyepop:

I hate to be that guy who's always correcting people, but this is actually how Malicia is, conforming quite well to expectations. She's tied for the highest personal Magic growth in the game, and her Speed is pretty good, too, though nothing out of the ordinary. She's hands-down the best Bishop in the game, and one of the better magic-users overall, making her a Mage just solves the problem of getting her to level 20 so she can be promoted. Also, her Skill, at 15%, is tied with several other guys for third-lowest in the game (not counting characters with deliberately bad growths like Bantu, the worst in the game is Rickard at zero, then Samto and Samson with ten), but the RNG seems to love giving Malicia Skill despite her poor growth rate. Basically, her Magic and Speed are fantastic, and you have nobody else to spend Secret Books on unless you get very unlucky. Her other stats are meh, also, but when your strengths are "deal damage" and "double everything", a lack of durability is not much of a concern.

marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me

Meanwhile my Linde has 4 magic at level 11 and can't seem to heat toast.

How Rude
Aug 13, 2012


FUCK THIS SHIT
Durability isn't even a problem with that massive luck and speed. She should be dodging quite a lot of the more inaccurate units.

Krumbsthumbs
Oct 23, 2010

2nd Place.
1st Loser.

How Rude posted:

Durability isn't even a problem with that massive luck and speed. She should be dodging quite a lot of the more inaccurate units.

Not necessarily in this game. Evasion isn't nearly as powerful as it is in the GBA games. I think speed only gives 1 evade and luck gives 1/2. She's still pretty fragile. Malicia is really good, but she needs to be well behind the front line since she's made of cardboard.

This is why characters with solid defense and speed are so amazing in this game (Luke for example). Being to double or at least not be doubled and also shed a few hits is really important.

theshim
May 1, 2012

You think you can defeat ME, Ephraimcopter?!?

You couldn't even beat Assassincopter!!!

How Rude posted:

Durability isn't even a problem with Nosferatu

Dr Pepper
Feb 4, 2012

Don't like it? well...

Yeah in this game you need to stack supports to get decent evasion.

LordHippoman
May 30, 2013

I, frankly, want this smug Jagen to be my avatar on all forms of social media immediately.
Support Update 5: Samto 2, Bantu 1, Julian/Rickard 2

Welcome to the desert. It's hot, nobody can move properly, and everything sucks. That said, it doesn't mean we don't have time for these totally important and canon conversations.

First we'll be creepy with Samto, then see what's up with our old dragon pal, and end on the ambiguously gay duo, Rickard and Julian.

Creepin' (Samto 2)

: That girl's sweet, but she's already taken. That one's too young. Way outta my range. That other one's kinda... too strong, I guess? But I could get used to that...

Well that's a lovely way to start the update. Good to know he's not a pedo at least. One up on Lang :stonk:

: ...You've been muttering to yourself for quite some while... What about?

: Hm? Oh, I was just thinking there's a ton of cute girls in this army.

: Now that you mention it, I think you might be onto something. I can't believe I never noticed before.

Wow, we haven't had a good "Steve Is Blind" joke for a while. Breathe it in, folks.

: And, naturally, you're one of them, Steve.

: ...Wha!? I-I am a mere knight, I discarded my womanhood long ago! I'm not cute or-or anything...!

Steve, womanhood isn't a class. That was Mage. You discarded Mage.

: That reaction was pretty adorable, too.

: Y-you jest! ...E-excuse me!!

: Heey, Steve! ...She's gone. Did I tease her too much?

You're weird, Samto.

Pickle Dragon (Bantu 1)

: ...Good, this seasoning is quite fine.

: Sir Bantu?

: Oh, you're, if I'm not mistaken...

You're not Mistaken, she's Mistaken. Who's on First. I'm so sorry.

: Steve. Are there... vegetables inside this jar?

: Indeed, my girl. Vegetables pickled with salt, among other things. This way, not only are they preserved for longer, but their taste becomes more exquisite as well.

: Oh... Pickled vegetables, is it? I've eaten some before, as army provisions.

I hear this is a bigger thing in other parts of the world, but I've never seen a pickled anything aside from the usual pickled cucumbers in my US suburb.

: How very convenient. Dame Steve, could you taste them for me, please?

: How is it, my girl?

: Wow, it's delicious!

: Hohoho, I'm glad to hear it. I've honed this technique for centuries, all to fix Tiki's disdain for vegetables...

I like to imagine Bantu in the time before humans settled, cobbling together jars out of rocks and stealing vegetables from their early farms. No wonder Hunter/Gatherer took so long to go away, it was this dick.

: Gosh. For centuries...you say?

: That's right, Dame Steve. The next portion will be ready soon, would you like to taste it as well?

: Yes, gladly!

Purse-uit of Happiness (Julian/Rickard 2)

: Oops... S-sorry!

: What are you doin'? Are you sick or somethin'?

: It's weird... I ate my breakfast just right... Maybe not enough veggies?

: Be careful, you.

: Ehehe... Purse, get! Seems like Chief's been gettin' rusty. Or maybe I've improved? Now, let's take a looksie... Wait, what... No purse. Not even mine. W-why?

Because I haven't used you once, you doof.

: Why, I wonder? Did you get rusty, or am I just better?

:smuggo:

: Chief! So you knew...

: You just don't learn, do you. Oh yeah, I got your purse like this the first time we met, didn't I?

: Yeah. Heh heh, I've challenged you many times after that, but I always lose.

: And I can tell there are goin' to be many more times to come. You're an obstinate brat sometimes.

: I'm gonna tag along until I show you I can snatch your purse, Chief!

: Heh, it's not goin' to be easy. Keep tryin', kid.

Aww. Bonding over petty theft. :unsmith:

Next time, sand and sorcerers and sadness.

LordHippoman fucked around with this message at 23:55 on May 30, 2015

LifeofaGuardian
Oct 26, 2013

Every part of every human being-even their ugly sides-is beautiful. There is no limit to beauty.

LordHippoman posted:

: That's right, Dame Chris. The next portion will be ready soon, would you like to taste it as well?

You missed a find/replace here, I think.
Also, that Julian/Rickard support. :allears:

vilkacis
Feb 16, 2011

LordHippoman posted:

Wow, we haven't had a good "Steve Is Blind" joke for a while. Breathe it in, folks.

Smells like cheap cologne.

Wait, I think that's just Samto.

Also :japan: drat it.

quote:

: Hohoho, I'm glad to hear it. I've honed this technique for centuries, all to fix Tiki's disdain for vegetables...

gently caress's sake Bantu why do you have to be so horrible, I would use the hell out of pickles-cooking dragon grandpa if you didn't implode the moment you set foot on a battlefield :negative:

quote:

: Wait, what... No purse. Not even mine. W-why?

And I could say the same for you! Seriously the worst part of this game.

marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me

The only pickled not-a-cucumber that I imagine might be widespread in American suburbs is the banana peppers at Subway if you've ever tried 'em. But yeah, tons of stuff gets pickled. Eggs, beets, onions, carrots.

It's not exactly pickled, but you should try a Century Egg some time. My wife tells me they smell awful, but they taste amazing. You can find probably find them at an Asian market.

LordHippoman
May 30, 2013

I, frankly, want this smug Jagen to be my avatar on all forms of social media immediately.

vilkacis posted:


gently caress's sake Bantu why do you have to be so horrible, I would use the hell out of pickles-cooking dragon grandpa if you didn't implode the moment you set foot on a battlefield :negative:


I know. I'm so disappointed. More games need dragon grandpas. Awakening didn't have any grandpas, period, and that was a shame.


Lotish posted:

The only pickled not-a-cucumber that I imagine might be widespread in American suburbs is the banana peppers at Subway if you've ever tried 'em. But yeah, tons of stuff gets pickled. Eggs, beets, onions, carrots.

It's not exactly pickled, but you should try a Century Egg some time. My wife tells me they smell awful, but they taste amazing. You can find probably find them at an Asian market.

I've had the banana peppers by accident once, by accident. Bit into my roomate's sandwich. Was wondering why steak suddenly tasted that way. Also, I had no idea Century Eggs existed, and just from the Wikipedia page, it sounds...interesting. I can see how they would smell awful. Months old egg yolk in a small shell. Jesus.

Nuramor
Dec 13, 2012

Most Amewsing Prinny Ever!

LordHippoman posted:

Awakening didn't have any grandpas, period, and that was a shame.


You could turn Chrom into one, if you wanted to.

LordHippoman
May 30, 2013

I, frankly, want this smug Jagen to be my avatar on all forms of social media immediately.
LordHippoman Presents:

A Tragedy In Five Parts

gently caress The Desert


So I'm nearly done screencapping Chapter 9 when I notice this.



Look at this loser thief. He keeps running from me and the reward for killing him is a Steel Sword? Seriously? Why would I bother?


Phase 1: Denial

OH gently caress THE VILLAGE. It's all good, I'll do something flashy and fix it, it'll be a great update.


Phase 2: Anger

Wendell move your old rear end legs I swear to god gently caress sand so much goddammit I could get closer but Feena couldn't reach...


Phase 3: Bargaining

If Feena can dance him, he can move further, then Rescue Stave Caeda and she might be close enough to kill the thief.


Phase 4: Depression

I don't think I'm close enough, I don't think I'm close enough.


Phase 5: Acceptance

:smith:

Actual update coming soon, when I convince myself to run the chapter again. And kill this thief. gently caress this thief.



gently caress you.

marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me

Ha! The previous thief maps had already trained me to kill them all regardless, so I don't even look at their loot, really. I didn't realize they'd attack a village.

EclecticTastes
Sep 17, 2012

"Most plans are critically flawed by their own logic. A failure at any step will ruin everything after it. That's just basic cause and effect. It's easy for a good plan to fall apart. Therefore, a plan that has no attachment to logic cannot be stopped."
It's kind of sad that my first thought was "If only you could cast Accel". Y'know, with how close Nintendo and Namco are these days, they should really consider a Fire Emblem-Super Robot Wars crossover, that would be rad as hell.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

vilkacis
Feb 16, 2011

LordHippoman posted:

gently caress you.

Oh man. I thought I was ready for it, but I wasn't ready for it. :(

EclecticTastes posted:

It's kind of sad that my first thought was "If only you could cast Accel". Y'know, with how close Nintendo and Namco are these days, they should really consider a Fire Emblem-Super Robot Wars crossover, that would be rad as hell.

I can dig it.








  • Locked thread