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BoldFrankensteinMir
Jul 28, 2006

Darn! Darn! Darn!


HERE IS ATOMIC THUMBS' HORNIO-MINUS-PORNIO:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfZc4cYzylM

Here are the links to the pre-existing rips of this cinema gem:

PART 1: https://mega.co.nz/#!HF5VEZAD!bp0n-...xjVXYFIiR-ejfCs
PART 2: https://mega.co.nz/#!fkg0wKST!eaaLp...c7zg10W_AT_47bE

One last piece remains (for this phase at least), as Atomic Thumbs making-of video nears completion. STAY TUNED FOR MORE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN...

-V- UPDATE 1 (11/1/14): High resolution scans of cover and back cover uploaded.
-VV- UPDATE 2 (11/22/14): Poster Atomic Thumbs' tape restoration and documentation has begun, poster Scinon's cleaned up cover added, letter drafted to Erotic Heritage Museum in Paradise NV on recommendation of poster Pubic Lair.
-VVV- UPDATE 3 (12/1/14): Digitized copies of SHB 1 and 2 provided by poster Samuel L. ACKSYN. Phase 2, critical review, begins ahead of schedule. Restoration from original tape continues, scheduled completion Dec 25.
-VVVV- UPDATE 4 (12/5/14): Poster Slomomofo assembles court records pertinent to Universal Studios V Nintendo, a landmark and suspiciously pertinent copyright case from 1984.
-VVVVV-UPDATE 5 (12/23/14: Poster Super Mario Batali (no poo poo) provides higher quality copy from DVD edition of Super Hornio Bros 2.
-VVVVVV-UPDATE 6 (12/25/14): Atomic Thumbs barely made his deadline but was banned on a technicality- turns out the tape wasn't actually Super Hornio Bros 1 at all! It was Super Hornio Bros 2 in SHB1's packaging...

ORIGINAL POST:
A friend and I found this in a home video clearance store in Aurora Colorado, around 2010 or 2011 I think. I had already been working for SA for a little while and was studying film history at Regis in Denver, turning early drafts of big papers into megathreads in Cinema Discusso to fine tune them off the forum responses and such. Well, much more often I'd just troll around looking for thesis ideas and pissing off Professor Clumsy to be honest, but anyway; my friend and I being nerdy film goons both recognized this thing for what it was and bought it without hesitation.






Super Hornio Brothers on VHS, in the original (albeit worn) packaging, with rental stickers and all. Purchased nice and legal from a licensed store that amassed retired rental tapes and DVDs, pornos and instructional videos and knock-off cartoons alike, and sold them by the pound with little or no concern for what it was they were selling. I found a lot of stuff over 2 years of skimming that place but nothing else compares to this.

It plays. All of it. Yes I have watched the whole thing. Educational purposes, just like the FBI says.

After a THOROUGH. CLEANING. I want to repeat that, THOROUGH. CLEANING. I put the tape away safely on my shelf and immediately began a long campaign of failing to think of what to do with it. I mean what DO you do with it? The friend who found it with me held on to it for a while, but it came back to me like a bottle imp. I thought of doing a contest, get the forums to write papers or photoshop or... something to win it as a prize.

But it just sat there, in a box with all my other gradschool crap. A haunted relic, forgotten until I recently began the push towards doctoral studies. I feel like this matter needs to be resolved first, somehow. Unfinished academic business.

I feel strongly, some might say obsessively strongly about the need to preserve media history. I'm obnoxiously socialist about art, art history, education, the whole bag: a pinko troll film-nerd writerly type. Y'all have probably dealt with the likes before. I believe that pornography is an art form with a fantastic and humanistic history, that it's a consistent leader and definer in every new medium of art, that the valid study of pornography bla bla bla etc et al. Or, in painfully oversimplified quote-macro terms:




So the bottom line is no-way-no-how am I letting this tape be destroyed. Not by lawyers, not by neglect, not by me. So... how do I do that? How do I preserve this too-weird-to-live historic artifact? I'm not interested in profit, and although I feel confident about the legal protections my education provides me personally I remind everyone that this forum does have ground rules re: discussion of digital media proliferation. So post carefully.

Be my peer review one more time, SomethingAwful forums: what is the proper historically-minded thing to do with a highly rare VHS porno tape all copies of which, from my understanding, were ordered destroyed?


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


- UPDATE 1 (11/1/14)

As requested, here are some big scans of the cover and back cover. I got them as clean as I could but at this resolution the battle damage is pretty noticeable in places. The thumbs lead to big jpgs but the links go to ridiculous 45 mb PNGs for Phriday phodder, should you want it.

Front cover -v-



(NSFW)http://www.mediafire.com/view/ctes9...overHighRez.png

Back cover -v-



(NSFW)http://www.mediafire.com/view/yr982...overHighRez.png


- - UPDATE 2 (11/22/14)

Atomic Thumbs' preservation efforts of the tape are underway- meanwhile Scinon has provided a cleaned up version of the high-rez cover:



(NSFW)http://www.filedropper.com/shb1frontcoverhighrezclean

Also, the following letter has been sent on recommendation of the aptly named Pubic Lair to the Erotic Heritage Museum in Nevada:



To the curators of Harry Mohney's Erotic Heritage Museum in Paradise, NV

My name is Ian Helm, I am a film history scholar and independent filmmaker from northern Colorado. In the course of my studies I have arrived in the possession of a historic artifact that I believe may be of interest to your institution. If so, I would like very much to permanently donate this artifact to your expert care on behalf of myself and my fellow preservationists at Somethingawful.com.

The item in question is a rare VHS copy of the 1993 adult film "Super Hornio Brothers", a pornographic parody directed by the late Buck Adams and released by Midnight Video. Although a parody of a popular franchise and starring several legends of the adult entertainment industry including Don Fernando and Ron Jeremy, the rights to Super Hornio Brothers and its sequel Super Hornio Brothers II were bought by Nintendo Co, Ltd. to halt their distribution (and, according to popular legend, to be destroyed). As such, copies of both films have become exceptionally rare in the 21 years since their initial release.

In 2008, following the lead of contributing editor Zack Parsons, the Somethingawful.com forums began searching for copies of both films to review for posterity. In 2009 they found partial success in the form of a digital bootleg of Super Hornio Brothers II, which Mr. Parsons reviewed. Since 2009, various partial or poor-quality digital copies of both Super Hornio Brothers films have surfaced online, however official copies of either film remained elusive despite great effort to find them.

This changed in 2011, when I and a fellow film researcher discovered a used VHS copy of Super Hornio Brothers for sale in Aurora, Colorado by a vendor dealing in defunct video rental store collections. Since then it has remained in archival storage, contained in its original packaging and in playable condition. Now in 2014 it is, to the best of my and my fellows' knowledge, the only official VHS copy of the film to have been verified still in existence.

Currently the tape is in California being digitized and remastered as part of a fair-use educational review project, but once this process is complete the ultimate fate of the original tape is uncertain. After opening the community forums to suggestions, the preservationists at Somethingawful.com have agreed that your institution is the most appropriate recipient, and as such would like to permanently donate the tape to your care in gratuity.

It is my academic opinion that this artifact is of great historic import as one of the earliest known popular examples of an adult film parody of an electronic game. As such it is a predecessor to an enormous field of modern erotica, and worthy of preservation and study. If the Erotic Heritage Museum agrees the donation can be made as early as January 2015.

Please let me know if there is any additional information I may provide that could help in your decision. Thank you for your time.

-Ian Helm, M.A.
Boulder, CO



- - - Update 3 (12/1/14)

Forums user Samuel L. ACKSYN has provided us with a link to earlier rips of Super Hornio Brothers 1 and 2:

SHB1 (NSFW)- https://mega.co.nz/#!HF5VEZAD!bp0n-...xjVXYFIiR-ejfCs

SHB2 (NSFW)- https://mega.co.nz/#!aMxxmRSL!BvP_W...JHMcdVBTkyU-Yjw

This begins phase 2 of the project earlier than expected, which is nice, it gives us more time. Phase 2 involves essay-writing.

I will be attempting to reach various critics and experts to weigh in on the subject of the film, but anyone here who's interested in participating please do. Just watch Samuel L. Acksyn's links and write at least 300 words about the historical relevance of Super Hornio Brothers. Good subjects include (but are not limited to) the series' relationship to:

-Contemporary trends in pornography vis--vis parody or specifically video game parody
-Fair-use nature of parody, and Nintendo Co., Ltd.'s attempts (successful or failed) at censorship.
-The filmographies of Buck Adams, Ron Jeremy, Krysti Lynn, Don Fernando et al.

- - - - Update 4 (12/5/14)

During the course of discussion, Nintendo Co. Ltd's court record has now come into question, specifically the details of a ruling in 1984 stating that Donkey Kong and King Kong are distinctly different characters due primarily to the differing trait of sexuality vs nonsexuality . This calls into question the methods by which Nintendo sought the removal of Super Hornio Brothers I and II from release, since they themselves sought the decision.

It's a crazy story, up to and including the part where Nintendo's Kirby gets his name.

Poster Slomomofo has assembled the actual court records for us, along with a list of citations:

slomomofo posted:

Part 1: "This is a dispute over two gorillas." (578 F.Supp. 911 S.D.N.Y. (1983)) - this is the initial district court decision.

Part 2: Here's the court decision for Universal's first appeal of the district court ruling (746 F.2d 112 (1984))

Part 3: Here's the court ruling for Universal's second and final appeal (797 F.2d 70 (1986))

... and to give a little idea of where the original ruling has been relied upon as precedent, here's a list of subsequent opinions citing Sweet's district court ruling.

- - - - - Update 5 (12/23/14)

Poster Super Mario Batali provides a DVD rip of Super Hornio Bros 2- https://mega.co.nz/#!fkg0wKST!eaaLp...c7zg10W_AT_47bE

With a day and a half left until Xmas Atomic Thumbs is sick and may be toxxed. It's too late to turn back now. Happy holidays everybody!

- - - - - - Update 6 (12/25/14)

What a ride. Atomic Thumbs and Juicebox Hero are both banned, the tape turns out to have been mislabeled and both AT and BoldFrankensteinMir missed it, and Atomic Thumbs' making-of documentary remains to be seen. We now have a very high resolution copy of Super Hornio Bros 2, about 50 new avatars and one very old and ready-to-die goon project thread.


super secret mod note to remind myselfhonor the memory of the guys who toxxed themselves http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...0#post438051992 and http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...0#post438076788

BoldFrankensteinMir fucked around with this message at Jan 7, 2015 around 15:27

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SALT CURES HAM
Jan 3, 2011




e: seriously though rip it and put it on the internet.

cthulusnewzulubbq
Jan 26, 2009

I saw something
NASTY
in the woodshed.


Step One: Trade it for a copy of Attack of the Killer Refrigerator

Step Two: Mail me the copy of Attack of the Killer Refrigerator

Thanks!

edit: Every copy of Attack of the Killer Refrigerator

cthulusnewzulubbq fucked around with this message at Oct 27, 2014 around 18:41

Mantis42
Jul 26, 2010


Sell it on Pawn Stars. That will preserves its cultural legacy forever.

cthulusnewzulubbq
Jan 26, 2009

I saw something
NASTY
in the woodshed.


Honestly though, if you do plan to keep it, store the tape upright (like a book), and play it through every seven years.

DrVenkman
Dec 27, 2005


For some reason, the funniest thing about that to me is the random NES controller thrown in there on the back.

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8


SALT CURES HAM posted:



e: seriously though rip it and put it on the internet.

Yes, do this. Is it to distribute copies of something that's been out of print so long?

BoldFrankensteinMir
Jul 28, 2006

Darn! Darn! Darn!


Alfred P. Pseudonym posted:

Yes, do this. Is it to distribute copies of something that's been out of print so long?

This is exactly why I'm here, to figure out if this kind of thing can be done above the board, in the name of academia. If distributing it turns out to be okay, then we cross the issue of how to host hardcore pornography too. Lots of considerations here.

cat doter
Jul 27, 2006



gonna need more cheese...australia has a lot of crackers

If there is someone that has the copyright to this...thing it's probably some holding company that doesn't even know it has it. I doubt there's much risk in distributing it, but if you're asking if it's strictly legal, nothing to do with copyright really is anymore.

BoldFrankensteinMir
Jul 28, 2006

Darn! Darn! Darn!


If the copyright on the film isn't applicable, could any of the actors or actresses still have grounds against use of their likenesses?

cat doter
Jul 27, 2006



gonna need more cheese...australia has a lot of crackers

BoldFrankensteinMir posted:

If the copyright on the film isn't applicable, could any of the actors or actresses still have grounds against use of their likenesses?

Pretty sure likeness licencing doesn't really work like that, that's for merchandise and poo poo like that I think. Their likeness is cleared for the "film" obviously, and if there's no copyright holder then it should be sunshine and rainbows.

I ain't no big city lawyer though.

BoldFrankensteinMir
Jul 28, 2006

Darn! Darn! Darn!


Okay, so let's assume until told otherwise that we're in the clear to capture and distribute this.

1- How do I best capture from VHS?
2- Where do I host the file?

Spalec
Apr 16, 2010


Don't Nintendo, of all people hold the copyright to it? Apparently they purchased it for the express purpose of trying to bury it because they didn't like their characters parodied in that way but couldn't stop it because parody is legal. Or so the story goes, that might be an urban legend.

PHIZ KALIFA
Dec 21, 2011

THUNDERDOME LOSER
HAIKULIGAN

I couldn't find any strictly pornography-related museums but there's got to be an organization somewhere interested in playing this at a film festival or something like that. Host a viewing party at your house.

little munchkin
Aug 15, 2010



BoldFrankensteinMir posted:

Be my peer review one more time, Cinema Discusso: what is the proper historically-minded thing to do with a highly rare VHS porno tape all copies of which, from my understanding, were ordered destroyed?

You need to jack yourself off while watching it, op.

computer parts
Nov 18, 2010

PLEASE CLAP

I seem to remember there was a rip the last time goons found this. I think I still have a copy on my computer somewhere.

Casimir Radon
Aug 1, 2008



computer parts posted:

I seem to remember there was a rip the last time goons found this. I think I still have a copy on my computer somewhere.
It was actually a rip of the sequel but had loads of footage from the first one that they just reused. There isn't much of a story to follow, and it's Ron Jeremy so it's not like you're going to get aroused watching it.

Spanish Manlove
Aug 31, 2008

HAILGAYSATAN

Greetings and welcome to GBS, porno historians!

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW


i think the only way to get around all potential copy rights is if we just contact dark priest and have him make a knock off for SA.

Funkstar Deluxe
May 7, 2007

「☆☆☆」


Superhornio bros wasn't even that good though.

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


the only mario porn id watch is gay incest between mario and luigi, while peach looks on, cuckd

Smeego
Sep 9, 2001

japan sucks

SALT CURES HAM posted:

seriously though rip it and put it on the internet.
I'm pretty sure a goon already did this

WilltheMagicAsian
Dec 11, 2011



it was called double dick panic in Japan

Fart.Bleed.Repeat.
Sep 29, 2001



Check this thread or its OP for how best to rip it to digital, looked like he had quite a setup for different formats etc

http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...hreadid=3675641

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW


why isn't there a daisy porno called daisy chain?

frank.club
Jan 15, 2011


jokes on you op I can just jerk it to actual super Mario porn now!

Eye of Widesauron
Mar 29, 2014



les fleurs du mall
Jun 30, 2014

by LadyAmbien


BoldFrankensteinMir posted:

Okay, so let's assume until told otherwise that we're in the clear to capture and distribute this.

1- How do I best capture from VHS?
2- Where do I host the file?

host it anywhere and everywhere you can. Eventually enough copies will have been downloaded and redistributed that it will be immortalized.

les fleurs du mall
Jun 30, 2014

by LadyAmbien


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Hornio_Brothers lol there's a sequel

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

Goodness no, now that wouldn't do at all!


Now I really want to watch porno. Thanks a lot.

Metanaut
Oct 9, 2006

Honey it's tight like that.

College Slice

Smeego posted:

I'm pretty sure a goon already did this

Yep. I remember downloading it from here. I don't have it anymore though, it's terrible really.

Gutcruncher
Apr 16, 2005

Go home and be a family man!


BoldFrankensteinMir posted:

Okay, so let's assume until told otherwise that we're in the clear to capture and distribute this.

1- How do I best capture from VHS?
2- Where do I host the file?

Mail the tape to me and I can do it!

No really, thats one option, however you could always buy a capture card and VCR yourself or get some enterprising goon to buy equipment for you.

Smeego posted:

I'm pretty sure a goon already did this

Nope, that was the sequel. The original classic has been lost until this fateful day.

frank.club
Jan 15, 2011


Metanaut posted:

Yep. I remember downloading it from here. I don't have it anymore though, it's terrible really.

How many of the remains copies of Super Hornio Brothers are in goon hands..?

mandatory lesbian
Dec 18, 2012


Funkstar Deluxe posted:

Superhornio bros wasn't even that good though.

read the op, the supe rmario porno is art

Rivethead
Feb 22, 2008

The boys at work sure ain't gonna like this!

I remember the first WHERE THE HELL IS THIS TAPE? FIND IT NOW!! thread. Super Hornio Bros has gone full circle.

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


I feel strongly, some might say obsessively strongly about the need to preserve media history. I'm obnoxiously socialist about art, art history, education, the whole bag: a pinko troll film-nerd writerly type. Y'all have probably dealt with the likes before. I believe that pornography is an art form with a fantastic and humanistic history, that it's a consistent leader and definer in every new medium of art, that the valid study of pornography bla bla bla etc et al. Or, in painfully oversimplified quote-macro terms:

A. Beaverhausen
Nov 11, 2008

by R. Guyovich


that poo poo bro, put it on torrent

E:seriously, suits won't come busting down the door and kill your dog, don't be a pussy

A. Beaverhausen fucked around with this message at Oct 28, 2014 around 17:41

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


Sheng-ji Yang posted:

I feel strongly, some might say obsessively strongly about the need to preserve media history. I'm obnoxiously socialist about art, art history, education, the whole bag: a pinko troll film-nerd writerly type. Y'all have probably dealt with the likes before. I believe that pornography is an art form with a fantastic and humanistic history, that it's a consistent leader and definer in every new medium of art, that the valid study of pornography bla bla bla etc et al. Or, in painfully oversimplified quote-macro terms:

- chairman sheng ji-yang, "essays on mind and matter"

Hitlers Gay Secret
Mar 7, 2010

The Third Reich's under new -- and better -- management.

Hasn't word reached Camp Pendleton yet?


College Slice


That article sure talks a lot about Something Awful.

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DACK FAYDEN
Feb 25, 2013

Bear Witness

WilltheMagicAsian posted:

it was called double dick panic in Japan
This is an underrated post.

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