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Nov 1, 2005

I'm a simple man, a good basic Chili, Chicken soup and beef stew is my favorite.

Second tier for me is French Onion soup and a great Tomato Soup, as long as I have a grilled cheese.


Lonely Virgil
Oct 9, 2012

It is my firm belief that man can subsist on nothing more then chili and anger.

To that end, I have decided to share my own favorite chili recipe with the lot of you, so that you may convert your shame and anger into chili and anger. In this way, I am the best humanitarian who has ever or will ever survive.

I'm going to be breaking a few sacred chili rules here. Too bad; I apologize to no one.


1 & 1/2 to 2 lbs of ground PORK (perfect way to uncover jews)
2 packages of french onion soup mix (be prepared for your chili to surrender)
2 tablespoons of chili powder (less if you're a baby, more if you're a man)
4 teaspoons of ground cumin (omit this and I will devour your soul)
1 teaspoon of black pepper (slightly racist)
1/2 teaspoon of salt (or none if you're heaving a heart attack right now)
6 ejaculations (squirts) of Tabasco sauce
1 21-ounce can of red beans and 1 21-ounce can of black beans (I have a dream)
2 6-ounce cans of tomato paste with garlic (regular tomato paste = you're an rear end in a top hat)
2 8-ounce cans of tomato sauce (real men need more than just paste)
1 yellow, orange or red pepper, chopped up (green peppers are Satan's taint)
1 package of sliced mushrooms (yes, you can slice your own mushrooms, smartass)


Put the meat in a huge chili pot and brown it over medium heat
Add 4 cups of water and the french onion soup mix. Stir and let simmer for 10 minutes
Stir in the spices and the Tabasco and simmer for another minute or two
Add the beans, the mushrooms and the chopped pepper
Turn to low and let simmer for at least 20 minutes, 40 is better, stirring every 5-10
Call your mother and tell her she's not allowed to hug you anymore

And that's it, you're done. You just went from a pathetic, flaccid pushover to a chili-chewing boner-owner in about an hour. Your life will thank me.

Who's next? Don't even think about posting a recipe with corn in it. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Bippie Mishap
Oct 12, 2012

Lonely do you use the french onion soup mix with dehydrated onions, potato starch, maltodextrin, salt, beef fat, monosodium glutamate, sugar, yeast extract, hydrolyzed soy protein, hydrolyzed corn protein, onion powder, lactose (milk), hydrolyzed wheat protein, caramel color, natural flavors (contains sulfites), autolyzed yeast extract, spice, disodium guanylate, disodium inosinate or the one that has onions (dehydrated), salt, cornstarch, onion powder, sugar, autolyzed yeast extract (barley), caramel Color, partially hydrogenated soybean Oil, monosodium glutamate, corn syrup (dehydrated), disodium inosinate, disodium guanylate, and sulfur dioxide (Used to Protect Quality)?

Aug 2, 2009

Phaiston have long avoided the tightly competetive defence sector, but the IRDA Act 2052 has given us the freedom we need to bring out something really special.

Nap Ghost

Can I post a recipe with a mod challenge in it?

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