Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«474 »
  • Post
  • Reply
Say Nothing
Mar 4, 2013

by FactsAreUseless


Post weird news headlines, quotes and articles from TV, newspapers, internet, etc.
Edit: Videos, gifs, news parodies are also good.

Fox news is a good source.





















Say Nothing has a new favorite as of 03:10 on Nov 4, 2014

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Vanderdeath
Oct 1, 2005

God was a dream of good government.



Hey, Say Nothing, I just want to say thanks for being the best PYF poster.

Don Gato
Apr 28, 2013

Actually a bipedal cat.

Grimey Drawer


.jpg

Tiggum
Oct 23, 2007


Tiggum has a new favorite as of 05:37 on Nov 2, 2014

Say Nothing
Mar 4, 2013

by FactsAreUseless




aDecentCupOfTea
Jan 13, 2013


The Sheffield Star is fantastic for this, no pictures because I lost them when my computer was stolen, but;

Police Hunt Man
Students Occupy Lecture Theatre
House Fire Burns.

scarycave
Oct 9, 2012

Dominic Beegan:
Exterminator For Hire


Xythe
Aug 4, 2010

Stop getting mad at video games. No stop insulting his mother what is wrong with you.


This is actually a good thread idea.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance.




Smellrose


Was the answer "because I live in Northern Australia?"

fish and chips and dip
Feb 17, 2010



quote:

"I had a few lads up from Queensland and I had to put on a good show," he told the NT News from his hospital bed.

"I just had a few beers with the boys and let off a few firecrackers.

"And I put one in my arse."

Mr Bowden was wearing trousers at the time and took it standing up.

"It didn't burn my balls or my back," the fitter and turner said. "Just my fingers and my arse. "It was a pretty loose one, hey."
http://www.ntnews.com.au/news/only-...d-1226744991457

IPA Regulations
Dec 5, 2012


symbolic
Nov 2, 2014

Will you follow me to oblivion to dance among the stars?


Yams Fan

a kitten
Aug 5, 2006



Fallen Rib

AKA Pseudonym
May 16, 2004

A dashing and sophisticated young man

Doctor Rope







The White Dragon
Nov 14, 2007

すご▞い!
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね!


Ho Daughter Dies of Overdose

(daughter of singer don ho)

trickybiscuits
Jan 13, 2008

yospos











(This one is especially funny because I don't think Rush Limbaugh has ever found it hard to swallow a weiner. Because he's fat.)




I found at least fifteen more headlines, but I didn't want to beat it into the ground. (Penis.)

trickybiscuits has a new favorite as of 23:55 on Nov 2, 2014

Say Nothing
Mar 4, 2013

by FactsAreUseless


Gifs and videos of news screw ups are also welcome too.

Haruharuharuko
Mar 24, 2008

Yeah I lied; so what is the truth?




Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010


Florida Man is great for these.


Side note: isn't Terez Owens the sports version of Perez Hilton?



FCKGW
May 21, 2006

aaaaaaaaaa
AAAAAAAAAAA
HHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!




Say Nothing
Mar 4, 2013

by FactsAreUseless


The source of the thread title...



I think it was this guy.

corax
Jan 21, 2002



Small-town newspaper police blotter sections are always good fun.
From the Homer, AK paper:

Elfface
Nov 14, 2010

Da-na-na-na-na-na-na
IRON JONAH

I've got a whole book of vintage ones of these, but this is my favourite.



R. D. Smith has one Sewing Machine for sale. Phone 66958 and ask for Mrs Kelly who lives with him cheap.

R. D. Smith informs us he has received several annoying telephone calls because of an incorrect ad. in yesterday's paper. It should have read: R. D. Smith has one sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 66958 and ask for Mrs Kelly who loves with him.

R. D. Smith. We regret an error in R. D. Smith's classified advertisement yesterday. It should have ready: R. D. Smith has one sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 66958 and ask for Mrs Kelly who lives with him after 7 p.m.

Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010


corax posted:

Small-town newspaper police blotter sections are always good fun.
From the Homer, AK paper:



I worked for my college newspaper (and still get a free subscription because I was editor-in-chief), and the Security Briefs are always a highlight, although never that detailed. This year they've had three cases of somebody watching porn in the student center--on weeknights, when people are usually there studying or doing work. The first one was specified as "anime porn (hentai)."

There's a long history of student harassment from townies driving on the main drag through campus, usually calling people enjoyable human being or throwing stuff at students.. My favorite of all-time was "Suspect threw lollipop at victim from passing car; reported 11 hours later."

Edgar Quintero
Oct 5, 2004

POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS
DO NOT GIVE HEROIN

The Toronto Sun is your typical murdoch -influenced right-wing tabloid bullshit. However, I kinda liked this one...

Gato
Feb 1, 2012







GWBBQ
Jan 2, 2005







edit:





and some good old immature humor

GWBBQ has a new favorite as of 16:54 on Nov 3, 2014

canyoneer
Sep 13, 2005


I only have canyoneyes for you



This is funny out of context.
In context, at the time someone was building bombs inside the casing to those big industrial flashlights and leaving them around the city
They would detonate when someone hit the switch.

Tsaedje
May 11, 2007

*AUTISM INSTENSIFIES*



Two classics



Gato
Feb 1, 2012



have some more






e:

Damian posted:

yo Santa
Ive not been good this year and I loving wont be. No chance. But I want a PS4 with all the games for crissmas ok? If I dont get a PS4 off you I will putt our Shannices kitten in mams blender and mince the fucker up so get me a PS4 stinkyhole. Luv Damian x

Gato has a new favorite as of 18:36 on Nov 3, 2014

Stoatbringer
Sep 15, 2004

naw, you love it
you little ho-bot








AKA Pseudonym
May 16, 2004

A dashing and sophisticated young man

Doctor Rope


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLr...iR_38iTumhMDlGw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0t...hMDlGw&index=33

President Ark
May 16, 2010




Say Nothing
Mar 4, 2013

by FactsAreUseless






FairyNuff
Jan 22, 2012





One Swell Foop
Aug 5, 2010

I'm afraid we have no time for codes and manners.

Headline from when relative minnows Inverness Caledonian Thistle beat Scottish soccer giants Celtic 3-1 in a huge upset:

Dieland
Sep 12, 2014






Also top notch Australian news reporting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuTA7DYklRo

Quint Gets Eaten
Apr 23, 2014


I have a book of these somewhere, National Lampoon's True Facts. My favorite is a photo of a woman posing with a floofy Alaskan Malamute paired with a mismatched headline, "Local Man Engaged." The first time I saw it I laughed until tears streamed down my face, and I still get a hearty laugh out of it. I can't find the photo on Google, though If anyone has it handy it would be much appreciated.

symbolic
Nov 2, 2014

Will you follow me to oblivion to dance among the stars?


Yams Fan

That happened about five minutes from me. It was hilarious to read in the paper. Trying to write a serious news article about a Teletubby with a man-purse and the munchies is near impossible.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Brainbread
Apr 7, 2008



I think this thread was a Jay Leno segment on the Tonight Show? I remember watching it when I was a kid.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply
«474 »