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Maggie Fletcher
Jul 19, 2009

Cat Army


Brainbread posted:

I think this thread was a Jay Leno segment on the Tonight Show? I remember watching it when I was a kid.

Ah, yes, that segment once featured my mom's local paper. There's a town in West Virginia called Big Ugly, which naturally prompted the headline "BIG UGLY WOMAN DIES IN CRASH." When I saw it, having forgotten about the town of Big Ugly, I laughed for at least ten minutes.

I mean, that sounds awful though. Rest in peace, Big Ugly woman.

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Flaccid Trip
Apr 29, 2008






Haruharuharuko
Mar 24, 2008

Yeah I lied; so what is the truth?



Away all Goats
Jul 5, 2005

Goose's rebellion


Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010



Upset Trowel

This one is sort of related. I was going to take a picture but figured I wouldn't have anywhere to post it, then along comes this thread. It's not news related but sort of TV related I guess. It's just Time Warner being dumb.

On Halloween I wanted to watch a scary movie and was flipping through the guide. I saw that "The Number 23" was on and just wanted to check the description.

"Blah blah blah schizo becomes obsessed with the number 23 and thinks some book was written about him blah blah blah. The main character dies at the end."

Well then... uh thanks guys, guess I don't need to watch it.

SodomyGoat101
Nov 20, 2012


It had Jim Carey in it, so you didn't miss anything.

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010



Upset Trowel

SodomyGoat101 posted:

It had Jim Carey in it, so you didn't miss anything.

I used to love that guy. Yet, he has fallen so far.

sticklefifer
Nov 11, 2003

TOO EASY





While Johnny Welfare plays acid rock on a stolen guitar, his old lady has a better idea... That's right, she's got the munchies for a California Cheeseburger!

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



Frostwerks
Sep 24, 2007

by Lowtax



They don't owe him an apology. He owes them a thank you note.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.


Family of enjoyable human being fans fly the flag



TL;DR: Their last name is Doody and they are the enjoyable human being Family.


EDIT: An English person showed me this and they thought it was funny, so don't get all YOU AMERICANS about it, tia.

olaf2022
Feb 19, 2003


Fun Shoe

























olaf2022
Feb 19, 2003


Fun Shoe


that article posted:

"The great British enjoyable human being is full of flavour and a great belly warmer at this time of year."

sticklefifer
Nov 11, 2003

TOO EASY

Gordon Ramsay's dwarf porn double Percy Foster dies in badger den

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/go...b0b7a02ae390b1d

Holy gently caress. It's even better if you don't read the article and just try to work it out in your head.

LSD CURES JUNKIES
Sep 12, 2013



RatHat
Dec 31, 2007


Pennywise the Frown posted:

This one is sort of related. I was going to take a picture but figured I wouldn't have anywhere to post it, then along comes this thread. It's not news related but sort of TV related I guess. It's just Time Warner being dumb.

On Halloween I wanted to watch a scary movie and was flipping through the guide. I saw that "The Number 23" was on and just wanted to check the description.

"Blah blah blah schizo becomes obsessed with the number 23 and thinks some book was written about him blah blah blah. The main character dies at the end."

Well then... uh thanks guys, guess I don't need to watch it.

Cheeky TV show descriptions are awesome, I wish I could subscribe to a service which would do it for every show.

Say Nothing
Mar 4, 2013

by FactsAreUseless


Best news anchor debut ever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SL3sZaJ8qiA

The Sezza
Feb 18, 2007


Killed By Death
Jun 29, 2013




BogDew
Jun 14, 2006

E:\FILES>quickfli clown.fli


This was actually picked up by Media Watch in Australia.

Ad content keywords disasters never fail to amuse.
In the case of Australian driver Peter Brock's death announcement, his association with V8 motorcar races lead to this.








Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010



scarycave
Oct 9, 2012

Dominic Beegan:
Exterminator For Hire


Seeing the cover of National Enquirer is really one of the high points of my work day.


Al Gore you dirty girl.

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT

Gravy Boat 2k

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17GbGmDORwk

AFewBricksShy
Jun 19, 2003

of a full load.




The guy at the NTSB that confirmed that story is my hero.

Gamma Nerd
May 14, 2012



The fact that football has a position called "tight end" is just too perfect

McDragon
Sep 11, 2007



I like this one. The whole story is great, but the headline rules.

quote:

Wandering Port Coquitlam bear not drunk, just ‘fat and lazy’

http://globalnews.ca/news/1583781/w...t-fat-and-lazy/

Also this, which may or may not be the same bear. http://globalnews.ca/news/1583180/p...ckage-delivery/

Also I love that that site has a bear tag.

Say Nothing
Mar 4, 2013

by FactsAreUseless







This might have worked in Zimbabwe.

OctaviusBeaver
Apr 30, 2009

Say what now?

snucks
Nov 3, 2008

Try again. Fail again. Fail better.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xNbYb4oAjM
not real but

wontondestruction
Dec 3, 2012

Putting the ass in class baby


Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.



The best part about this scheme is he thought an Applebee's could make change for a trillion dollar bill, had they actually believed it.

C-Euro
Mar 20, 2010



Soiled Meat

Man throws own penis at police.

Uhh Yeah Dude is a pretty good podcast if you like this sort of thing.

C-Euro has a new favorite as of 02:32 on Nov 7, 2014

Ishamael
Feb 18, 2004

You don't have to love me, but you will respect me.

sticklefifer posted:

Gordon Ramsay's dwarf porn double Percy Foster dies in badger den

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/go...b0b7a02ae390b1d

Holy gently caress. It's even better if you don't read the article and just try to work it out in your head.

The image of this headline is one of my all-time favorites.

Knormal
Nov 11, 2001



Taco Defender

Not only was this a real headline at one point, but it's the one they decided to use for this promo so these signs were at every McDonald's in town for several months.

Jonny Nox
Apr 25, 2008


Garbage truck lands on Saturn.

I'm pretty sure there's only one reason this story made the news...

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmon...aturn-1.1253396

Thunder Mug
Jul 11, 2008

They may kick our ass, but they will never kick Our Freedom!

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance.




Smellrose


This one's from an old issue of Private Eye, so it's deliberate.

Fame Throwa
Nov 3, 2007

Time to make all the decisions!

laserghost
Feb 12, 2014

trust me, I'm a cat.


Buglord

Are not-english tabloids acceptable?



"Can't sleep, because I'm holding the cupboard"



"Kettle of terror wanted to kill us!"



"An old egg did this to me!"

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symbolic
Nov 2, 2014

Will you follow me to oblivion to dance among the stars?


Yams Fan

So this was in the paper this morning...

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