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canyoneer
Sep 13, 2005


I only have canyoneyes for you


The news last night had a story about two trick-or-treaters hit by a car. The video feed showed two huge boats that had crashed into a bridge. The newsreader was going through the story and says, barely pausing, "I think we have the wrong video".

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Robhol
Oct 9, 2012


I saw this posted in the schadenfreude thread a little while back, but it really deserves to be here too:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzOvc4XuFNc

Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010


canyoneer posted:

The news last night had a story about two trick-or-treaters hit by a car. The video feed showed two huge boats that had crashed into a bridge. The newsreader was going through the story and says, barely pausing, "I think we have the wrong video".

Or child obesity is getting really bad.

Bob Shadycharacter
Dec 19, 2005


Years ago I saw a stupid local news story about a guy who bought some grapes at the grocery store and found a dead lizard in the bag with them.

He was being interviewed on screen, and at the bottom of the screen it said

"Joe Smith - dead lizard owner"

Still makes me laugh sometimes. That was probably 15 years ago.

Say Nothing
Mar 4, 2013

by FactsAreUseless


Good stuff.





syscall girl
Nov 6, 2009

by FactsAreUseless


Fun Shoe

Dieland posted:

Also top notch Australian news reporting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuTA7DYklRo

That's cool.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYcSqIuqkz4




Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010



Upset Trowel




This just popped up on my news feed. If you can't read it since I'm bad with computer it says:

Dead whale surfer: "I'm an idiot"
An Australian man who "surfed" a floating whale carcass surrounded by sharks has admitted that he was an "idiot" to attempt the foolhardy feat.

slinkimalinki
Jan 17, 2010


Sandwiched by a satirical programme, but the central clip is a genuinely beautiful weatherman moment
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bj9DAq8iLQ0

BogDew
Jun 14, 2006

E:\FILES>quickfli clown.fli

Poorly thought out layouts is always fun.

Nostradingus
Jul 13, 2009



WebDog posted:

Poorly thought out layouts is always fun.



Always run a headline OVER a story, sheesh.

As a dude in charge of a newspaper I'm always terrified that I'll find something I did in one of these threads. Nothing so far.

Good soup!
Nov 1, 2010





Lipstick Apathy

WebDog posted:

Poorly thought out layouts is always fun.



My brain can't even process this.

Nostradingus posted:

As a dude in charge of a newspaper I'm always terrified that I'll find something I did in one of these threads. Nothing so far.

This. I might occasionally have a placeholder here and there if a writer doesn't have a headline or a cutline for a photo, but drat, I don't know how you miss stuff like "Think of a headline." at the top of a page.

AKA Pseudonym
May 16, 2004

A dashing and sophisticated young man

Doctor Rope

This one is sort of sad but it's a hell of a train wreck:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lr8AExHciBE


That's Jessica Savitch, the first woman to anchor a network news broadcast. She sort of had a messed up life and died shortly after this when a car she was in went off a bridge (No alcohol or drugs were involved apparently). This particular incident caused a bit of a stir, she initially blamed a malfunctioning teleprompter and later pain medication but rumors of drug abuse had followed her consistently.

Say Nothing
Mar 4, 2013

by FactsAreUseless




Haruharuharuko
Mar 24, 2008

Yeah I lied; so what is the truth?



Xinlum
Apr 12, 2009

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Dark Knight





Does he pull the trigger with his tongue?

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010



Upset Trowel


drat, had to scroll up and check if it wasn't from Say Nothing, the King of PYF.

Good job though.

Rorac
Aug 19, 2011





I tried to say that headline out loud to my roommate, got through to 'armed' and then started laughing, I can't say it with a straight face.

Also, obligatory

No, seriously, how the gently caress.

Peanut President
Nov 5, 2008





Awesome Welles posted:

My brain can't even process this.

Two different headlines referring to two different stories.

Regalingualius
Jan 6, 2012


Rorac posted:

I tried to say that headline out loud to my roommate, got through to 'armed' and then started laughing, I can't say it with a straight face.

Also, obligatory

No, seriously, how the gently caress.

He handled it carefully, of course.

Marcade
Jun 11, 2006

Who are you to doubt El Vago?



Not a headline, but a couple of years ago my department arrested a dude missing both arms for armed robbery. He was the getaway driver. I'm completely serious.

ghost host
Apr 17, 2010

ain't got no cash
ain't go no style


RatHat
Dec 31, 2007


Maybe he had a hook.

Spermando
Jun 13, 2009


Mister Mind
Mar 20, 2009

I'm not a real doctor,
But I am a real worm;
I am an actual worm



calm2.jpg

Say Nothing
Mar 4, 2013

by FactsAreUseless






AKA Pseudonym
May 16, 2004

A dashing and sophisticated young man

Doctor Rope







Cuntellectual
Aug 6, 2010


Peanut President posted:

Two different headlines referring to two different stories.

The start of the article indicates otherwise.

The Lone Badger
Sep 24, 2007



Awesome Welles posted:

My brain can't even process this.

Pageants must be very boring where you come from?

Away all Goats
Jul 5, 2005

Goose's rebellion



No remorse

RaspberryCommie
May 3, 2008

Stop! My penis can only get so erect.



A petition we can all get behind.

pookel
Oct 27, 2011



Ultra Carp

Climax is a city in Minnesota. Over here in North Dakota, we still talk about the 100% legit AP headline that read "Fertile Woman Dies in Climax."

Some people add "on the way to Moorhead," which would be plausible, but wasn't in the original.

Say Nothing
Mar 4, 2013

by FactsAreUseless








Say Nothing
Mar 4, 2013

by FactsAreUseless


Today's news.







citybeatnik
Mar 1, 2013

You Are All
WEIRDOS






That's the kind of headline that editors look forward to, kind of like "Headless body found at topless bar".

Centripetal Horse
Nov 22, 2009

Fuck money, get GBS

This could have bought you a half a tank of gas, lmfao -
Love, gromdul


I don't see the Headlines archives on the Tonight Show website, any more. Does anyone know if they are still around? I happen to think the headlines segments were hilarious.

I'd try the Wayback Machine, but I don't even have the old URL, and the Wayback Machine is lovely with archiving images.

Bhodi
Dec 9, 2007

Oh, it's just a cat.


Pillbug

The goddamned music just started up in my head. Take it to the limit...

Squarely Circle
Jul 28, 2010

things worsen and worsen


Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.



They both look guilty as hell. Like the graphics guy knew they did it and wanted to expose them for their crime and they're just caught unawares and panicking silently. "Well! Uhhh...b-b-back to you, Jill." "Shut up! Shut UP! Cut to commercial!"

EXAKT Science
Aug 14, 2012

8 on the Kinsey scale


Some local news for y'all. Artistís fire escape climb to visit friendís apartment leads to fall, brush with law

The fellow in question:

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Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


Say Nothing posted:

Today's news.




I remember seeing this years ago, definitely over a decade ago, and just recently it came up in conversation with someone who said a movie had been made based on this want ad. He couldn't remember the name of the film, and neither of us could remember the full text of the ad and were apparently too drunk to figure out what combination of words to use to google it, so I never did find out what it was called. Turns out its called Safety Not Guaranteed and it looks like it might actually be a pretty good movie. So thank you

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