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ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.



I was thinking Famous Grouse.

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ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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Woman Found Holding Own Eyeball Near South Carolina Church

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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The last word is "ouput".

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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zedprime posted:

This Uber story has been getting some questionable headlining. Like it's grammatcially correct but maybe I'm just broken and can't see or not see commas anymore so it runs on into the humorous version.

"Uber Eats Driver Allegedly Shoots and Kills Customer"

Like the cars come to life and is getting it's revenge by eating the driver and shooting the passenger.

This is an example of what's known as a garden path sentence.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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China wages war on funeral strippers

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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Illinois Governor Drinks Chocolate Milk, Celebrates ‘Diversity!’

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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https://twitter.com/AndrewBloch/status/966957339981918208

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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Caught red-handed!

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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The opening paragraph on this one is pretty amazing:

quote:

There has been a lot of talk recently about the missing representation of women in the male-dominated cryptocurrency ecosystem. While Las Vegas strippers are not the representation some hoped for, they are an example of how bitcoin can help working women control their financial affairs and avoid potential problems with prudish banks.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


GWBBQ posted:

The Hard Times is satire.

But it's occasionally difficult to remember that.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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https://twitter.com/DeusExCinema/status/973556159083884544

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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US Senate candidate proposes arming homeless people with shotguns

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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Deputies find crack in suspect's buttocks

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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https://twitter.com/pattymo/status/975883694929076227

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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Gun-Toting Russian Who Charged Onto a Soccer Field Just Became a Billionaire

bitterandtwisted posted:

Robocar intersection:


This only works if all of the cars are driven by robots.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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Pretty good haul today:

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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The headline's been changed by someone with no sense of humor. :sad:

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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Is Satan Still Cool? The Teens Speak

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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Alt-Right Furries Are Raging Online, And Leftist Furries Wonder What Is To Be Done

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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Famed gay rights lawyer sets himself on fire at Prospect Park in protest suicide against fossil fuels

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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YouTube's Scariest Genre Is Military Music Videos

Wheat Loaf posted:



Gone a bit strange in his old age, hasn't he?

https://twitter.com/AndrewTrendell/status/986188896211013633

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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Man jailed for 50 years for stealing $1.2m-worth of fajitas

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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Here's What We Really Know About Hitler's Penis

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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https://twitter.com/jenlikespizza/status/990730742052225024

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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This Nightclub for the Elderly Is Fighting Loneliness with Tea Party Raves

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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Mother, 19, stabbed boyfriend during sex after telling him men should only be used for 'human sacrifice'

For whatever reason the headline doesn't mention that she was dressed as a clown at the time.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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Jean-Paul Sartre’s bad mescaline trip led to the philosopher being followed by imaginary crabs for years

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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Absurd Alhazred posted:

Who's a good head of state or government?

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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Woman issued citation after urine sample explodes inside microwave of 7-Eleven

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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OK.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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One of my roommates in college ended up talking to a city bus driver in line at the liquor store who explained that they probably wouldn't notice if she were drunk driving the bus because no one ever noticed when she did it high.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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Man Allegedly Used Change Of Address Form To Move UPS Headquarters To His Apartment

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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Crustaceans on TTC subway seats cause crabbiness in commuters

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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Bill Gates: Trump couldn't differentiate HIV from HPV, but was well-versed on Gates' daughter's looks

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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Brieing is the new cheese and MDMA drug craze middle class women are trying

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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A HUNGRY MOUTH posted:

The Unbearable Whiteness of Brieing

:perfect:

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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CIA Concluded North Korea Won’t Denuclearize, May Build a Burger Chain Instead: Report

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ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

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​Anal oval office Guitarist Josh Martin Dies in Mall Escalator Incident

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