Weird News Headlines: Twerk will set you free

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I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

https://twitter.com/jakpost/status/1192058661188907009

# ¿ Nov 7, 2019 02:15

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 08:59

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

�I've been doing some farming with my hoe here"

# ¿ Nov 7, 2019 02:52

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/mar/19/experience-gwyneth-paltrows-vagina-candle-erupted-in-my-front-room

# ¿ Mar 19, 2021 13:07

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

quote:

Fishmongers� Hall attack: Inquests played footage of narwhal tusk battle with terrorist on London Bridge

Video footage of bystanders fighting a terrorist using makeshift weapons including a narwhal tusk and fire extinguisher has been played at an inquest.

Usman Khan was armed with two knives and an �authentic-looking� suicide vest when he was set upon by men including two convicted murderers and a civil servant.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/london-bridge-terror-attack-narwhal-tusk-b1830255.html

# ¿ Apr 13, 2021 02:23

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

quote:

Pet detective says stolen giant rabbit is �still hot� and a smuggling risk

Owner offers �2,000 reward for record-breaking Worcestershire pet while rabbit expert predicts ransom demand

On Tuesday, experts admitted to being worried and bemused by the disappearance of Darius, the 4ft-long pet thought to have been stolen from its oversized enclosure in Worcestershire last weekend.

Robert Kenny, a professional pet detective, said the theft showed how people would go to extreme lengths to get their hands on valuable animals like Darius, a continental giant rabbit.

He said the thief had likely scouted the location of the crime in advance and is now trying to get the rabbit out of the country.

�The only way that this can be sold is if it goes out of the UK � it�s still hot, it�s still high profile,� he said. �So it�s of paramount importance that borders are closed [to stop] the opportunity for this animal to be moved.

�If the animal remains in the UK, I have no doubt whatsoever that it has to be recovered. The owner needs to contact ferry ports and make sure that this rabbit does not go outside of the UK.�

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/apr/13/pet-detective-says-stolen-giant-rabbit-is-still-hot-and-a-smuggling-risk

# ¿ Apr 14, 2021 00:37

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

quote:

OJ Simpson says Derek Chauvin 'deserves' to be convicted for George Floyd's death

# ¿ Apr 21, 2021 03:12

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

By popular demand posted:

Not to dismiss the severity of the Derek Chauvin case but why ask for OJ Simpson's opinion on anything ever?

No one asked him he tweeted about it.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2021 06:08

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

quote:

Giant American rear end touches down in Australia

AN American Mammoth Donkey has been imported into Australia directly from the USA for the first time in over 20 years.

The giant rear end, named Diamond Creek Moonwatcher, had to be issued a special import permit before he could arrive on Australian shores.

https://www.canberratimes.com.au/story/7221364/giant-american-rear end-touches-down-in-australia/?cs=14260

# ¿ Apr 22, 2021 12:31

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

In case you wanted another photo of the giant American rear end:

# ¿ Apr 23, 2021 06:18

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

I wondered if anyone had been killed as the result of a gender reveal and actually quite a few have:

https://www.newsweek.com/gender-reveal-parties-four-dead-1580477

# ¿ Apr 23, 2021 12:39

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

quote:

Bavaria: Sex toy sparks hand grenade scare

A police bomb squad rushed to a Bavarian forest in response to a call about a suspected hand grenade. They gave the all-clear after the suspect device turned out to be a sex toy.

A woman who was out for a jog alerted police to a possible hand grenade in a bag, sparking a full-scale police bomb squad operation.

The detonation team that arrived at the scene in a forest near the Bavarian city of Passau, close to the Austrian border, eventually discovered that the object was actually a sex toy.

Truth exposed
The woman had noticed the item in a transparent bag that also contained several other items, the Passauer Neue Presse newspaper reported on Tuesday.

Instead of having to carry out a controlled detonation, the police explosives team quickly gave the all-clear.

A close inspection revealed that the object was a dummy grenade made of rubber.

The presence of two unused condoms and an empty tube of lubricant in the bag, as well as a USB cable, provided a clue as to what it really was. Officers conducted a quick online investigation to test their theory.

"The search on the internet confirmed the suspicion," the police said in a press release. "There actually are sex toys in the shape of hand grenades, and that was the kind of thing we were dealing with here."

Based on the state of decomposition of the bag, officers deduced that the objects had been discarded a relatively long time ago.

"How these items got there and why they were left there can only be surmised," police said.

Discoveries of hidden or forgotten undetonated munitions still regularly trigger police operations in Germany, more than 75 years after the end of World War II.

https://www.dw.com/en/bavaria-sex-toy-sparks-hand-grenade-scare/a-57352807

# ¿ Apr 29, 2021 02:01

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

quote:

Juan Joya Borja, the 'Spanish Laughing Guy' Meme, Has Died

He was known as �The Giggles� in his native Spain, and his legacy is that of a joy-spreading meme.

Comedian and T.V. personality Juan Joya Borja, best known in America as the �Spanish Laughing Guy,� has died. Borja was 65 years old and died after what Spanish newspapers described as a �long illness.� He�d been hospitalized in 2020.

Known as El Ristas or �The Giggles� because of his distinct laugh, Borja rose to prominence in his native Spain after being featured on a variety show called Ratones Coloraos. During an interview with host Jesus Quintero, Rojas was telling a funny story about throwing dishes into the ocean while working a job as a young man. Borja found his own story so funny that he could barely get through it between fits of laughter.

Ratones Coloraos uploaded the segment to YouTube that year and it gained popularity in Spain, but Borja�s life as a meme would come almost a decade later. Around 2014, people took the clip and uploaded it with their own subtitles completely unrelated to Borja�s original story. Typically, Borja would take the place of an employee for a large company who would cackle through a story about how stupid their boss or a customer was.

When Apple announced a new MacBook in 2015, El Ristas giggled through its poor specifications as an Apple Engineer. El Ristats stood in for every person who�d encountered a flat earther, fought with their family about Brexit, or tried to buy a new graphics card in the past year.

No matter how bad the news, Borja could help you laugh through it. He is the inverse of the Hitler downfall meme. He�s someone who tells a story or explains a concept that is so ridiculous, he can barely get through it because he's laughing so much.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhNnUOpE7bw

https://www.vice.com/en/article/akg...RBOARD_facebook

# ¿ Apr 29, 2021 08:08

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

https://twitter.com/Newsweek/status/1389721716943904771

https://twitter.com/emily_hoeven/status/1389628775185354759

# ¿ May 5, 2021 01:02

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

https://twitter.com/OutOfContextLOI/status/1389559937236357121

I would blow Dane Cook has a new favorite as of 04:10 on May 5, 2021

# ¿ May 5, 2021 02:16

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

https://twitter.com/emily_hoeven/status/1389633623398232065

# ¿ May 5, 2021 05:46

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

https://twitter.com/BBCWorld/status/1389515117348413441

# ¿ May 5, 2021 08:46

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

https://twitter.com/OutOfContextLOI/status/1389559937236357121

Graham Burke's goal was actually pretty drat impressive

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeV8HzgTdyw

Aung San Suu Kyi's fall from Human Rights Hero to genocidal tyrant - not so much.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkrbwFP6Ew4

# ¿ May 6, 2021 04:58

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/1391679483732766729

https://twitter.com/GuardianUS/status/1391797727407837187

# ¿ May 11, 2021 03:14

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

https://twitter.com/BuzzFeedNews/status/1391904124770291713

https://twitter.com/cnni/status/1391955727904755714

# ¿ May 11, 2021 04:22

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

https://twitter.com/cnni/status/1391921281705066498

# ¿ May 11, 2021 05:11

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

https://twitter.com/ianIDEO/status/1392096971075190784

# ¿ May 12, 2021 00:40

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

https://twitter.com/dallasnews/status/1391466251986378754

# ¿ May 12, 2021 01:28

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

https://twitter.com/7NewsPerth/status/1392417014082248704

# ¿ May 12, 2021 12:32

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

https://twitter.com/USCPSC/status/1392482092823502849

# ¿ May 13, 2021 09:19

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Nckdictator posted:

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-57091253

How do you do, fellow kids?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUFT35S7Jb4

# ¿ May 13, 2021 13:22

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

https://twitter.com/katehinds/status/1392319674445139975

# ¿ May 13, 2021 13:34

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

https://twitter.com/DefectorMedia/status/1389617731746603016

# ¿ May 13, 2021 13:44

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Nckdictator posted:

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-57091253

How do you do, fellow kids?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZK65KQvyqc

# ¿ May 13, 2021 13:52

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wCRVRZzXbI

# ¿ May 16, 2021 11:42

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

RC and Moon Pie posted:

The Target nearest me had signs up about limiting trading cards sales a couple of weeks ago, to first-come, first-served and to only pack/box (something) per customer.

Has sports and Pokemon card speculation gotten that bad? I haven't collected cards in a long, long time.

https://www.cnbc.com/2021/05/14/target-removes-trading-cards-from-stores-after-violent-incident-with-gun.html

# ¿ May 17, 2021 06:22