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Bwee

Welcome to Chopped. Your first round ingredients are:

  • weed

  • chill

  • anime

  • tits and assers

You have 30 minutes for the appetizer round. Your time starts... now!

Bwee fucked around with this message at 02:03 on Nov 7, 2014

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smoobles

*sweats profusely*

Bwee

ALEX: This is a tough round. I don't know how they're going to incorporate the tits and assers.
AARON [sadly]: I agree, Alex.
MARCUS: Are you ok, Aaron? You look upset.
AARON [sadly]: I always look like this.

WindmillSlayer

hey guys, im WMS. im not the best chef but i always try my best and I seem to make food people enjoy :) Now im actually gonna use the tits and assers as my main course, see, breasts and butts both are curvy and using the anime as an accentuation rather than the focus should put me ahead of the rest.

WindmillSlayer

I'll be using the weed as a base for a nice cream sorbet, obviously the chill is what will keep it in its congealed form.

GEExCEE


[old white guy]: I's she chopping that?
[lady]: oh god
[excited, dark skinned fellow]: SHE'S CHOPPING IT!!

treasure bear

i'd start by pan frying the anime medallion in olive oil basting it occasionally with its own juice

i'd then sauté the weed, blending in seared tits and assers with crushed black pepper

i create a chill and white wine reduction as a dressing which i pour around the base of the weed

Bwee

Cumt posted:

i'd start by pan frying the anime medallion in olive oil basting it occasionally with its own juice

i'd then sauté the weed, blending in seared tits and assers with crushed black pepper

i create a chill and white wine reduction as a dressing which i pour around the base of the weed


JUDGES: Oh my god... he used mids...

GEExCEE

[contestant]: I've prepared a traditional Provençal dish known as "Anime à la T-Pain." The track is chopped and then lightly screwed, for additional flavor. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuAL2oSKtqo

GEExCEE

Bwee posted:


JUDGES: Oh my god... he used mids...

lol

Dr Cheeto
Oh gosh, I've never cooked with anime!!!

les fleurs du mall

by LadyAmbien
I just empty a vase of weed onto a plate and jam a fork into it, handing it to the judges and looking at them judgementally

Slot


*looks at chopped title* *looks at WMS*

pig slut lisa

irl is good


*licks the weed tonguefully*

Afro Doug

is this about cooking?

verily carefree

Afro Doug posted:

is this about cooking?

quick post a recipe or you'll get chopped!!

treasure bear

Bwee

Theglavwen

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.
Weed sushi rolls presented on the finest tits and assers of the most discerning of Japanese anime cosplayers. Each will, of course, be wearing the chillest of shades. The pure chill of their auras will ensure that the sushi remains at optimal temperatures.

verily carefree


the chill! you forgot to plate the chill!

treasure bear

warroar posted:

the chill! you forgot to plate the chill!

the chill is in the sauce

verily carefree

Cumt posted:

the chill is in the sauce

gimme back my treasure

Bwee


Alright, times up!

Now let's look at our contestants.


WindmillSlayer posted:

hey guys, im WMS. im not the best chef but i always try my best and I seem to make food people enjoy :) Now im actually gonna use the tits and assers as my main course, see, breasts and butts both are curvy and using the anime as an accentuation rather than the focus should put me ahead of the rest.
I'll be using the weed as a base for a nice cream sorbet, obviously the chill is what will keep it in its congealed form.


Cumt posted:

i'd start by pan frying the anime medallion in olive oil basting it occasionally with its own juice

i'd then sauté the weed, blending in seared tits and assers with crushed black pepper

i create a chill and white wine reduction as a dressing which i pour around the base of the weed



GEExCEE posted:

[contestant]: I've prepared a traditional Provençal dish known as "Anime à la T-Pain." The track is chopped and then lightly screwed, for additional flavor. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuAL2oSKtqo


Quickscope420dad posted:

I just empty a vase of weed onto a plate and jam a fork into it, handing it to the judges and looking at them judgementally


Theglavwen posted:

Weed sushi rolls presented on the finest tits and assers of the most discerning of Japanese anime cosplayers. Each will, of course, be wearing the chillest of shades. The pure chill of their auras will ensure that the sushi remains at optimal temperatures.

Bwee fucked around with this message at 03:28 on Nov 7, 2014

treasure bear

i put my heart and soul into the dish, i just hope it was enough to impress the judges

Bwee
Your judges for the first round


Marcus Samuelsson
Psychic Type
Sagittarius
Half-Orc Wizard


Alex Guarnaschelli
Grass Type
Aries
Gnome Bard


Aaron Sanchez
Steel Type
Taurus
Human Paladin

BYOB, please choose your character! We need three volunteers for this round to judge the dishes!

Bwee fucked around with this message at 03:36 on Nov 7, 2014

Theglavwen

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.

Cumt posted:

i put my heart and soul into the dish, i just hope it was enough to impress the judges

How'd you get that red colour in your white wine and chill reduction?

Is the red from the chill? I'm impressed, if so, I mean, red's usually raging, very unchill. Is that like, cajun chill?

poo poo, you didn't use chilli did you?!

treasure bear

Theglavwen posted:

How'd you get that red colour in your white wine and chill reduction?

Is the red from the chill? I'm impressed, if so, I mean, red's usually raging, very unchill. Is that like, cajun chill?

poo poo, you didn't use chilli did you?!

I cut myself while cooking but just went with it

Theglavwen

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.

Cumt posted:

I cut myself while cooking but just went with it

drat. Chill.

A Time To Chill

which contestant is the insufferable arrogant aspie? there's always at least one

Theglavwen

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.
Definitely either this guy:

Quickscope420dad posted:

I just empty a vase of weed onto a plate and jam a fork into it, handing it to the judges and looking at them judgementally

or this guy:

Theglavwen posted:

How'd you get that red colour in your white wine and chill reduction?

Is the red from the chill? I'm impressed, if so, I mean, red's usually raging, very unchill. Is that like, cajun chill?

poo poo, you didn't use chilli did you?!

Bwee

Bwee posted:

BYOB, please choose your character! We need three volunteers for this round to judge the dishes!

dogcrash truther
I will be marcus i know nothing about this show

i am he

I'll be alex and I'm only somewhat familiar with the show.

tao of lmao

aaron here

tao of lmao

i really should have been the bard though

Bwee


Okay! Marcus, Alex, Aaron -- what did you think of the dishes? And who do you think should be chopped in the appetizer round?

dogcrash truther


Hello I'm Marcus and I'm here to judge soem bullshit I guess. This might be the appetizer round but I'm hoping to get baked off of these edibles so now lets get to the judging.

Presentation: Cumt is the clear winner here becazuse his dish is an actual dish with food on it and not just words which you can't really eat. Points to GeexCee for having a video but you cant eat a video but htat's ok because it's just a presentation. IO can kind of see WMSs dish in my mind. The other posts arent appetizing at all. get hosed the glavwen and other guy

Taste: theglavwen comes out a big winner here. this food is actually edible. WMS, i see what you were trying to do there but you hosed up. shouldve played to your strength in anime. Needs more anime. cumts tastes like rear end. good technique, but tastes like rear end. some things they don't teach you at the CIA. the other two are the culinary equivalent of poo poo coming from an rear end and also i can't taste the rear end, or tits, in either one.

Creativity: quickscope thinks hes a bad boy with his presentation but the food world doesnt need another damien hirst type motherfucker waLKING around in it? you ever been to el bulli? creativity takes more than this bullshit. i don't even need to grade the rest because quickscopes getting chopped, in the neck, wu-tang style

les fleurs du mall

by LadyAmbien
I knew i should've signed the plate "R. Mutt"

Bwee

dogcrash truther posted:



Hello I'm Marcus and I'm here to judge soem bullshit I guess.

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cuntman.net

dogcrash truther posted:



Hello I'm Marcus and I'm here to judge soem bullshit I guess. This might be the appetizer round but I'm hoping to get baked off of these edibles so now lets get to the judging.

Presentation: Cumt is the clear winner here becazuse his dish is an actual dish with food on it and not just words which you can't really eat. Points to GeexCee for having a video but you cant eat a video but htat's ok because it's just a presentation. IO can kind of see WMSs dish in my mind. The other posts arent appetizing at all. get hosed the glavwen and other guy

Taste: theglavwen comes out a big winner here. this food is actually edible. WMS, i see what you were trying to do there but you hosed up. shouldve played to your strength in anime. Needs more anime. cumts tastes like rear end. good technique, but tastes like rear end. some things they don't teach you at the CIA. the other two are the culinary equivalent of poo poo coming from an rear end and also i can't taste the rear end, or tits, in either one.

Creativity: quickscope thinks hes a bad boy with his presentation but the food world doesnt need another damien hirst type motherfucker waLKING around in it? you ever been to el bulli? creativity takes more than this bullshit. i don't even need to grade the rest because quickscopes getting chopped, in the neck, wu-tang style

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