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 ACTUAL CONTENT NOW Since I had to replace my phone (and lost all my good pictures of the assorted animal freeloaders in my home), I'm using some pictures from last year, sorry!    THE BIRD BROOD, otherwise known as the plethora of feathered assholes. Zeke and Zoe are broken little green cheek conures with several physical handicaps between them. Zoe has a split beak, arthritic toes/paralyzed leg nerves, and is blind and mostly deaf, so toys meant for an active and playful bird with full dexterity wouldn't work out, unfortunately. Zeke suffers from regular seizures and can hurt himself on larger toys. Due to their advanced age and preference for a sedate lifestyle (sleeping on shoulders, getting and giving kisses, trying to poo poo on the dog), this year Zeke and Zoe would like nothing more than a holiday greeting (to ignore, nibble, and/or poop on). If you do find a simple jingly-type of toy that you don't think Zeke could get his nails stuck inside, he'd absolutely loving love it. Anything that jingles or rattles that you think an angry (disabled) bird needs to teach a good lesson, Zeke is the vicious, blood-thirsty broken bird for the job. Mamacita and Dio are a loving awful mated pair of lovebirds that hate everyone (including their own son) and merely tolerate my existence. Last January, they managed to produce a small little baby boy, Taka, who is most likely a product of incest and thus shares his parents' fondness for screaming at his own rear end and other bizarre activities. All three love to shred paper, hay, soft wood, human flesh -- literally any bird toy is a toy they'll enjoy. Anything bird-safe made with stiff paper that can be destroyed by a small bird - no large chunks of wood, they can't get their beaks into it - they will find worthy of their time and lovingly shred into thousands of little pieces. Lovebirds are ridiculously easy to please. No treats or pre-filled toys with food inside for any of these beasts, please! They're all on special diets.  FERRIS is a Louisiana Catahoula Leopard Cur Dog mix and he's such a poo poo example of the breed that you can completely disregard everything you might know about the catahoulas and just treat him like a more attractive and chew-happy labrador. Ferris just turned a year old and is still very, very much a puppy in terms of energy and attitude. Since my office is located in one of my company's pet supply stores, Ferris has been exposed to every possible toy in the industry and loves (and destroys) everything he's given. His favorite activity is ripping into cheap stuffed animals from Goodwill until only shreds of fabric and broken childhood memories remain, so be aware that any plush will be both thoroughly enjoyed and immediately destroyed within minutes. I haven't tried Huggle Hounds yet, but I usually bank on free corporate samples of dog-intended plush to try new things and save my money. v  v He loves Nylabones, pet-safe smoked animal parts, and anything that will help keep his mind occupied for a few days will be much appreciated. I've been throwing stuffed Kongs at him on a daily basis to keep his head from exploding as our farm property fills with snow and regular romps through the fields are postponed until spring. He's pretty smart and willing to spend time working for his food when he puts his mind to it.Ferris has an iron stomach, so feel free to send whatever protein-based treats you find. Please skip rawhide (compressed is fine), grocery-brand treats like Purina, and anything with real feathers. I have a literal ten pounds of antlers to work through, so we're good on those! Ferris is 70lbs and has a giant mouth, so anything rated for 90lbs+ dogs is fine (and almost preferred). Official Bizness fucked around with this message at 03:38 on Nov 30, 2014 |
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Nov 7, 2014 16:18
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^ We lost power last night after heavy snow snapped some tree branches and hit our wires. My phone is poo poo at using Internet browsers correctly, so I'll have info up soon, sorry! On the plus side, my puppy is loving his first Maine winter and all that thick, fluffy snow is very effective at tiring him out. He spent the day running around in his new coat and diving into all the pristine snow drifts around the farm.
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Nov 28, 2014 02:02
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Sending mine out tomorrow! I had to duct-tape the box around the sides to make everything fit. 
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Dec 20, 2014 08:02
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I've been PISSed on! But my keyboard is broken and I'm replacing it tonight, so pics will need to wait until this evening. UPS are dicks and left the package on my doorstep in full view of my landlady's goats, but someone's VERY CRAFTY Hill's cat food disguise worked perfectly and they moved on to the next chewable thing (my other mail).
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Dec 22, 2014 22:16
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Cowslips Warren posted:I got pissed onnnnnn! You are very welcome! It wasn't due to arrive until Friday, so I'm glad kitties and puppies and fish and snakes got to enjoy presents in a timely holiday manner. For the collars, I asked my company to do a special order on them (minimum order of five hundred) so I could send them to you. Thanks for a great turnaround, Beastie Bands, thumbs-up. AND NOW FOR MY GALLERY OF PHOTOS FROM CHAOSFEATHERS' AWESOME PISS ATTACK.  As you can see, it was very cleverly disguised.  And very festively wrapped! SO MUCH CHRISTMAS.  wait wtf office supplies what is thi--  oh my gosh  I TEARED UP. This is now framed and hanging out with the other special Christmas cards and letters that I've kept over the years. Thank you so much, this was beautiful, and I was so touched to see Chiyo there, too.  I pulled a gift for Zoe out first, but SOMEONE KEPT WHINING AT ME.  ferris is2g  FINE. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXJM1qxdf_c He's been dragging this wubba around everywhere, even ignoring the full antler he got from my landlady in favor of it. I didn't think it'd hold up for more than a few days, but it's still going strong.  ANYWAY. Zoe got a sweet felt chewing toy that she's been mindlessly gumming for the past few days. It was the first toy she and Zeke decided was Not Going To Kill Them.  Zeke and Zoe also got a snuggly corner pad. Neither bird is a hormonal mess, so I'm not worried about certain conures masturbating in the night. It's still at Threat Level Yellow, but it's been chilling on the outside of their cage for a few days and I'm going to move it in after tomorrow's cage cleaning. Warm and snuggly birdies soon!     you spoiled assholes got individual presents THAT THEY'VE ALREADY MOSTLY DESTROYED, BY THE WAY, I HAVE ONLY ONE TOY LEFT.    The third one is still up because I've been keeping outside of their cages for Mama and Dio to chew on through the bars. God's sake, birds, this is why you usually get toilet paper rolls.  "mum is there another one please please"  fuckin dog https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQ3COTk56Go He's been trying to make the goats on the property play tug with him and he's only succeeded in getting chased off and covering the toy in goat poo poo. He loves sucking on it now.  Last but not least, Zeke The Grumpy gets his MORTAL ENEMY:  THE JINGLY BELLS  I attached this to the side of the cage tonight and he's been screaming at it and throwing it against the wall like it insulted his mother. He loves it.   SUCH AN AWESOME BIRD AND DOG HAUL. Thank you, Chaosfeather, this was all super wonderful and I've been talking about my PISS with coworkers and family all week. 
Official Bizness fucked around with this message at 02:30 on Dec 27, 2014 |
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Dec 27, 2014 02:26
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