TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

quote:

In God, Guns, Grits and Gravy, Mike Huckabee asks, �Have I been taken to a different planet than the one on which I grew up?� The New York Times bestselling author explores today�s fractious American culture, where divisions of class, race, politics, religion, gender, age, and other fault lines make polite conversation dicey, if not downright dangerous. As Huckabee notes, the differences of opinion between the �Bubble-villes� of the big power centers and the �Bubba-villes� where most people live are profound, provocative, and sometimes pretty funny. Where else but in Washington, D.C. could two presidential golf outings cost the American taxpayers $2.9 million in travel expenses?

Government bailouts, politician pig-outs, and popular culture provocations from Jay-Z and Beyonc�

to Honey Boo-Boo to the Duck Dynasty�s Robertson family. Gun rights, gay marriage, the decline of patriotism, and the mainstream media�s contempt for those who cherish a faith-based life. The trouble with Democrats, the even bigger trouble with Republicans, our national security complex, and how our Constitution is eroding under our noses. Stories of everyday Americans surviving tough times, reflections on our way of life as it once was, as it is, and as it might become�these subjects and many more are covered with Mike Huckabee�s signature wit, insight, and honesty.

At times lighthearted, at others bracingly realistic, Huckabee's brand of optimistic patriotism highlights American ideals, offering a bright outlook for future generations.

With a wry eye for the ridiculous and a clear-eyed look at the most controversial issues of our time, God, Guns, Grits and Gravy is Mike Huckabee at his very best.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2015 18:45

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 07:23

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Is there any candidate who no one calls a RINO?

# ¿ Jan 5, 2015 14:12

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Cruz/Reagan

# ¿ Jan 10, 2015 20:44

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

HUGE PUBES A PLUS posted:

We're going full crazy.

http://www.businessinsider.com/sara...campaign=buffer

# ¿ Jan 24, 2015 00:16

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

TRUMP!!!

http://www.iafreedomsummit.com/

"Activist?"

# ¿ Jan 24, 2015 18:42

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Missed this Huckabee jewel

"Not to diminish anything about the climate at all,� Huckabee said, �but Mr. President, I believe that most of us would think that a beheading is a far greater threat to an American than a sunburn.�

# ¿ Jan 26, 2015 13:13

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

I hear a lot of people hating Jeb Bush on conservative side(common core and immigration) and saying they refuse to vote for him. Would republicans just not vote for him or is this just empty comments

# ¿ Jan 26, 2015 18:55

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

This new candidate could win southern conservatives if it runs

Mr Ice Cream Glove fucked around with this message at 21:21 on Jan 26, 2015

# ¿ Jan 26, 2015 21:14

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Acrophyte posted:

it would. it would, dammit

KFC-care covers Rascal Scooters

# ¿ Jan 26, 2015 21:38

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Huckabee: bring them bibles

quote:

�Because we were bringing Bibles to school people weren�t bringing guns to school, except for the deer hunters who left them in their trucks,� Huckabee said. �What has happened to our culture? What�s happened is we have lost our landmarks. When we reject the Bible as the objective word of truth, when we say that the Bible is no longer the standard by which we live and we make it whatever we feel, what we think, what we believe, then we have no landmark at all because that landmark is always being moved to accommodate our lifestyle rather than make our lifestyle accommodate the word of the living God and the power of the Holy Spirit.�

Mr Ice Cream Glove fucked around with this message at 21:48 on Jan 26, 2015

# ¿ Jan 26, 2015 21:46

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

agent_wildflower posted:

How does one even eat that?

# ¿ Jan 26, 2015 23:04

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Awful Palin talks?

Wonkette bought an account on her website and post all her videos for those who do not suscribe

http://wonkette.com/tag/sarah-palin-fartknocker

# ¿ Jan 26, 2015 23:40

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Thank you Breitbart

# ¿ Jan 27, 2015 07:45

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Daily Show took on Iowa

http://www.hulu.com/watch/742649

# ¿ Jan 27, 2015 17:41

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Boring guy starts committee

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/27/scott-walker-2016_n_6556220.html

quote:

MADISON, Wis. (AP) � Republican Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker announced Tuesday that he formed a political organization to help boost a potential 2016 presidential run, the first concrete step toward a possible campaign that comes as others are also ramping up efforts to seek the GOP nomination.

The tax-exempt group, Our American Revival, was formed on Jan. 16. Walker's campaign issued a statement Tuesday to The Washington Post announcing creation of the committee.

Mr Ice Cream Glove fucked around with this message at 19:19 on Jan 27, 2015

# ¿ Jan 27, 2015 19:17

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Romney is looking good

# ¿ Jan 27, 2015 22:07

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Ben Carson

quote:

On intelligent design (from Take the Risk):

From what I know (and all we don't know) about biology, I find it as hard to accept the claims of evolution as it is to think that a hurricane blowing through a junkyard could somehow assemble a fully equipped and flight-ready 747. You could blow a billion hurricanes through a trillion junkyards over infinite periods of time, and I don't think you'd get one aerodynamic wing, let alone an entire jumbo jet complete with complex connections for a jet-propulsion system, a radar system, a fuel-injection system, an exhaust system, a ventilation system, control systems, electronic systems, plus backup systems for all of those, and so much more. There's simply not enough time in eternity for that to happen. Which is why not one of us has ever doubted that a 747, by its very existence, gives convincing evidence of someone's intelligent design.

quote:

On gay parents (from The Big Picture):

Recently a homosexual couple brought a child in to be examined on one of our neurosurgical clinical days. During lunch, after the couple had left, one of my fellow staff members commented favorably on the couple's obvious love and commitment to the child. He said to me, "I know you don't approve of homosexual relationships and wouldn't consider their home a healthy atmosphere in which to raise a child. But I was impressed by that couple. I think their sexual orientation is their business. Think what you want, but it's just your opinion."

My response wasn't nearly that politically correct. "Excuse me, but I beg to differ," I said. "How I feel and what I think isn't just my opinion. God in his Word says very clearly that he considers homosexual acts to be an 'abomination.'"

# ¿ Jan 28, 2015 00:01

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

What is the chance he gets put in prison. I read 103 years if convicted

# ¿ Jan 28, 2015 03:30

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

First Walker ad

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Qm4xGQYHBk

Our American Revival

Bowing photos

# ¿ Jan 28, 2015 18:58

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Zero_Grade posted:

"Palin or Jaden?" would be a fun game to play.

Reagan or Hitler? (Made by me and played by over 300 people)

https://www.onlinequizcreator.com/regan-or-hitler/quiz-33231

It is much harder than you would expect

# ¿ Jan 28, 2015 20:09

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Prolonged Priapism posted:

GOD drat YOU WINTER STORMER, I made this and when I go to reply I see your post. But, yes, you are right, I had the exact same thought. It literally looks like something from a dystopian movie about Amerinazis.

Black and red are not colors that should be on any political logo.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2015 20:05

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Will every GOP candidate sign this National Organization for Marriage pledge?

quote:

"I have to tell you, I am really excited about our opportunities this year. We're in the best position we've been in in years thanks to the support of you and other members of NOM. With a solid pro-marriage majority in both the House and the US Senate, populated by real marriage champions like Representatives Raul Labrador and John Fleming in the House and Senators Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, and newly elected Thom Tillis and Tom Cotton in the Senate, we are in a great position to advance critical legislation. In fact, our federal team is already hard at work on several bills including protecting the right of every American to be free of government punishment for defending the truth of marriage in the daily lives.

"In addition to work in Congress, we're also working behind the scenes to advance critical legislation at the state level, where a huge majority of pro-marriage legislators and Governors now hold office across the land. We're also working hard to make sure the next Republican presidential nominee is a trusted conservative and marriage supporter. We'll have an announcement soon about our new presidential pledge that we will ask every candidate to sign. It could be a game-changer in the presidential contest, because it is going to put candidates' feet to the fire. But all of this and more can happen only if we have the continued support of members like you. Please renew your membership today." - Brian Brown

Mitt Romney, Michele Bachmann, Tim Pawlenty, Rick Santorum, and Newt Gingrich signed the 2012 pledge but sounds like this pledge is going to be much more crazy anti gay.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2015 20:32

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

One candidate who the religious right will go after is Christie on this issue. He did not fight gay marriage in the end AND signed ban on gay conversion "therapy"

# ¿ Jan 29, 2015 20:45

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Rand Paul, Huckabee, Boy Scouts and Jerry Sandusky. All are in this gay panic documentary

http://youtu.be/oPQzabna5kg

# ¿ Feb 12, 2015 15:36

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Ben Shapiro, one of the most punchable face of GOP media took on Walker

quote:

MEDIA GO COLLECTIVELY INSANE OVER GOP POSITIONS ON EVOLUTION

On Thursday, the media went collectively insane over Governor Scott Walker�s failure to answer a question about his beliefs on the theory of evolution. A questioner asked Walker earlier this week in London, �Are you comfortable with the idea of evolution? Do you believe in it?� Walker said he would �punt� on the issue, adding, �That�s a question politicians shouldn�t be involved in one way or another. I am going to leave that up to you. I�m here to talk about trade, not to pontificate about evolution.�

This led to blaring headlines throughout the media. Huffington Post said Walker �dodged� the question. The Daily Beast accused Walker of being �bland,� �stupid,� and �moronic.� Talking Points Memo reported that Walker would �rather talk about cheese than foreign policy or evolution.� Bloomberg ran a thorough piece about all the 2016 GOP candidates� positions on evolution, headlined �Punt, Fumble, or Touchdown? These GOP Candidates Won�t Endorse Evolution.�

Welcome to the 2016 presidential cycle. While ISIS burns Jordanian pilots and beheads American journalists, while the economy teeters on the brink, while Obamacare rolls out, while racial divisions plague America, the media have focused, laserlike, on the issue that matters most: opinions on Charles Darwin.

Just as in 2012, when opinions about condoms trumped opinions about the national debt, so in 2016, Democrat-supporting media will attempt to paint Republicans as religious rubes still fighting the trumped-up Scopes Monkey Trial. Americans will be informed that Scott Walker�s position on the Cambrian explosion matters more than Hillary Clinton�s celebration of more than a million abortions per year in the United States, including 11,000 late-term abortions. Scott Walker and company will be lectured on geology, but nobody will ask Hillary Clinton to take a look at an ultrasound.

Now, every Republican candidate would be well served to explain his personal belief in microevolution � not because the question matters deeply to policy, (It doesn�t.) but because he will be asked the question, and the answer is obvious. There are still significant debates regarding macroevolution in the scientific community � the notion of how species evolve into different species � given that Darwinian evolution suggests graduated equilibrium (constant and gradual evolution over time), rather than punctuated equilibrium (explosions of evolution in short periods of time), and graduated equilibrium does not match the fossil record. Nonetheless, Republicans should not be afraid of stating their personal positions on the science of evolution or the age of the universe as a general matter.

However, there is little doubt that the media are now playing a �gotcha� game, in which Republicans are asked questions that have no bearing on public policy to drive wedges into the conservative base, while Democrats are allowed to ignore serious scientific questions that have real public policy consequences. For example, in 2008, Jim Vandehei of Politico asked Republican candidates if they believed in evolution. That question has no impact on public policy. None. You can believe in evolution and still believe that local communities have a right to decide educational standards; you can believe in fundamentalist creationism and believe that the Department of Education should set broad national policy. But that�s not the point. The point is that Republicans and their supporters are dolts.

At no time during the 2008 Democratic presidential debates were Democrats asked if partial birth abortion extinguishes a human life. Hillary Clinton was asked when she believed life begins and was allowed to get away with this vague line: �I believe that the potential for life begins at conception.� But she wasn�t asked about her position on late-term abortion. When Pastor Rick Warren asked then-Senator Obama in 2008 at what point a baby receives �human rights,� Obama �punted� by stating, �Whether you�re looking at it from a theological perspective or a scientific perspective, answering that question with specificity � is above my pay grade.� There was precisely zero articles in the mainstream media ripping Obama as anti-science.

In 2012, Mitt Romney was asked repeatedly about his beliefs in the science of global warming. Nobody asked Obama about his scientific position on human rights vis-�-vis late-term abortion. The same will be true in 2016.

Republican candidates should be ready for this gambit. And they should be ready to fire back. Scott Walker tweeted today, �Both science & my faith dictate my belief that we are created by God. I believe faith & science are compatible, & go hand in hand.� That�s fine, so far as it goes, but Walker and all Republicans should be prepared to do better. The next time Scott Walker is asked about evolution, he should answer that punctuated equilibrium is supported by the scientific record, then ask whether Hillary Clinton believes in the science of ultrasounds � and if so, why she would have been willing to allow Chelsea to abort her grandchild at nine months. The next time Hillary Clinton gives an answer about her support for science with regards to global warming, someone should ask her why she wanted to waste taxpayer dollars to investigate junk science about vaccines and autism.

The left seeks to seize the moral high ground regarding science versus religion � and the media hope to help them along. Republicans should fight back with both science and morality.

Mr Ice Cream Glove fucked around with this message at 02:14 on Feb 13, 2015

# ¿ Feb 13, 2015 02:06

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

# ¿ Feb 14, 2015 21:40

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Trailer to seriously anti-gay documentary featuring possible 2016 candidates Rand Paul and Huckabee

The documentary is titled "Light Wins: How To Overcome The Criminalization Of Christianity,"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=somJ-IjMjKU

Including this line

quote:

Like a tank in Tiananmen Square," Porter says, as she walks down the middle of a dark street as a pair of headlights bear down upon her, "the homosexual agenda has been running over people since Anita Bryant's courageous stand in the 1970s."

Mr Ice Cream Glove fucked around with this message at 16:14 on Feb 18, 2015

# ¿ Feb 18, 2015 16:10

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Yes! Yes! Eat your own

# ¿ Feb 18, 2015 16:57

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

quote:

spunknik
2 hours ago
This is a guy who, if he chooses to run, could get close to 90% of the black vote if he demonstrates his black credentials. He'd be a fool not to attend something like this.

# ¿ Feb 18, 2015 18:14

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

If Texas ever became blue (big if) there would never be another GOP president

# ¿ Feb 18, 2015 18:52

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Throw back Thursday Jeb Edition

quote:

Bush's tough brand of conservatism also featured new restrictions for Florida's welfare recipients. In early 1994, Bush unveiled a welfare reform plan dubbed the "Phoenix Project." The goal of the project, he later told the Miami Herald, was to "dismantle the welfare state and all the culture that comes from it."

Under the plan, Florida would refuse to accept federal funds to aid the state's poor families, and restrict benefits to just two years of assistance. To be eligible for benefits, poor women would be required to "identify the fathers of their children, submit to random drug tests and work if jobs were available,"

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6436546

# ¿ Feb 19, 2015 18:31

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Business Gorillas posted:

If Cruz somehow wins the nomination, I'm going to start referring to him as Rafael E. Cruz. It is his name, after all.

Press 2 for English

When I worked for state elections we would get calls from citizens who were livid that Voting Registration forms were offered in Spanish

# ¿ Feb 20, 2015 03:18

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Yup

# ¿ Feb 24, 2015 00:47

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

There are some people who should never take selfies

# ¿ Feb 24, 2015 15:46

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

PupsOfWar posted:

who is that kid, anyway

His son

# ¿ Feb 24, 2015 16:13

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

# ¿ Feb 24, 2015 16:16

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

His lunches are as bland as he is

# ¿ Feb 24, 2015 16:55

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Who is less charismatic: Romney or Walker? Whenever I hear Walker speak the word dull comes to mind. Circus music should play behind him when he speaks

# ¿ Feb 24, 2015 20:03

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

I present POTUS 2016

# ¿ Feb 25, 2015 04:44

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 07:23

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

CPAC Straw Poll Candidates (17)

Senator Rand Paul
Former U.N. Ambassador John Bolton
former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush
retired surgeon Dr. Ben Carson,
New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie
Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas
businesswoman Carly Fiorina
Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee Gov. Bobby Jindal of Louisiana
former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin
former New York Gov. George Pataki
former Texas Gov. Rick Perry
Donald Trump,
Sen. Marco Rubio of Florida,
former Sen. Rick Santorum
Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker.

# ¿ Feb 27, 2015 21:10

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