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Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx
Jedit, when you write your fawning Alonso praise, please consider that Ron Dennis did not try to kill Alonso with a poo poo car. That is just vile slander.

Thanks.

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Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx
NOTICE ME

I rewrote it a bit. Yes, it is 1203 characters, what of it? Editing it down would be like not laying full-size tiles at Woking.

quote:

2015.
It was the dawn of a new age.
Honda has returned to Formula 1.

(In)famous (for his autism) Ron Dennis hopes to rekindle the unholy alliance that dominated the sport from 1988-1991. No stone was left unturned at McLaren after Ron Dennis took back the reigns after the disastrous previous years in the hands of Martin Whitmarsh. Together with racing director Eric Boullier they culled the weak (Sam Michael) and poached the strong (Podromou). The former head aero genius at the no good cheating drink company's rolling marketing Red Bull now controls the winds at a proper racing focused engineering team. Alas, in pre-season testing the team managed only 1751 km or 28% of Mercedes. Rumours say the Honda power unit is unreliable and breaks down all the time but clearly they are just sandbagging to lull their competitors into a false sense of security.

Ron Dennis' final coup to bring it all together on track was liberating Fernando Alonso from the stifling incompetency of a red painted Spaghetti team. In an uncharacteristically smart decision, most likeable British Tory racing driver Jenson Button was retained another year instead of a tool called K-MAG.


Not to be confused with a Mercedes powered car from 2002. Or Force India.

edit: K-MAG is a tool, not a guy. Plus car picture.

Riso fucked around with this message at 22:48 on Mar 7, 2015

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx

Diet Crack posted:

Game, set and match. Just throw in stuff about killing off his drivers too.

You might have forgotten but Williams killed a bunch of drivers too.

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx
I am not surprised a team run by an Indian lawyer is skeevy as hell.

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx
Be nice be nice wicka, remember which thread you are in.

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx
With Manor Marussia we have 10 teams. They will supposedly use last year's Ferrari engines.

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx

be nice wicka posted:

for the first part of the season they will be running a hastily modified 2014 chassis with the 2014 ferrari PU, but they will transition to a new chassis with the new engine at some point. i don't think ferrari wants to keep supplying the old one.

I have a feeling they still have 5-6 spare engines lying around from last year.

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx

nsaP posted:

Enough of the poo poo talk about Alonso I'm done with it

Ron was done with Fernando too. See where that got us.

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx

Tsaedje posted:

Everybody should go to Monaco for the Grand Prix if they have the chance, it's great. The experience of watching it live is definitely better than watching it on TV, especially if your stay includes a day either side of the race weekend (ie wednesday-monday).

Wednesday you have basically unrestricted access to the paddock area, just walk around as the teams are setting up the motorhomes, walk down the pitlane and chat to the crews as they're unloading stuff and bolting the cars together (it's really chill before the team bosses turn up on thursday). This is also the best day to chain your seats to railings and secure a good spot in the general admission area (secteur rocher).

Thursday we paid for all day tickets at the swimming pool complex watching free practice and feeder series quali. You can also see cars zoom past on the main straight if you sit at the top like we did and look behind.

Friday there's no F1 but you can get in free to any of the stands to watch porsches and the gp2 crashfest (we watched in casino square)

Saturday we didn't bother to buy tickets to watch quali or the gp2 sprint, but instead watched on tv in a couple of different bars, including DC's local where he buys Red Bull by the crate

Sunday we went general admission and stood/leant/sat for hours on a steep hill crammed with fans of all nationalities with a good view of the pit lane, Rascasse and Anthony Nouges. Video screens are surprisingly well placed around the track.

The range of view is actually a lot better than this photo shows

This should be the Monaco write up. Notice me.

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx
Clearly he's never heard the bible says you should not mark your skin like pagan savages.

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx

pik_d posted:

Where's the rest of the image?

Nico has got it and won't share.

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx
Exactly. Contracts have to be upheld.
Last year Sauber took VDG's money for a drive this year but then turned around and told him to gently caress off instead.
It's a clear breach of contract and if they cannot pay him back the money with interest they have to let him drive.

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx
There's at least four drivers claiming to have valid contracts with Sauber:

Ericsson
Nasr
Van der Garde
Sutil

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx
You insurance premiums say otherwise.

(Sauber means clean)

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx

Professor Grumpy posted:

Apparently he thinks the way to win the WDC is to copy Hamilton at absolutely everything

I wonder when he'll get hair transplants

As soon as Berlusconi will tell him where he got his.

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx
I think I read something about 10 million GBP.

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx
Button once broke his contract with Williams to drive another year in a poo poo show Honda and had to pay millions to make it go away. He later became WDC and was able to move to McLaren.

Show me where breaking his contract damaged Buttons career.

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx
Be a dick, take the tyres.

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx
Because Adrian Newey is bored making cars and wants to play with ships and planes, Horny Horner suggested to ban the use of wind tunnels entirely.

Both of Toto's teams naturally think this is a very dumb idea.

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx
Monisha has shown herself to be the crooked incompetent Indian lawyer everyone expects.

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx
The WDC can choose One or his own number. ARE LEWIS chose his own number.
Teams have to provide three cars if they are only eight teams on grid.

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx
Start of a season. Horny Horner said a single car costs 30-40 mill. Even if we lost both teams however, thanks to HAAS F1, 2016 will have nine teams.

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx
3. They hired pretty much everyone from Marussia.

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx
Speaking about Newey; he's designing a boat for Ben Ainslie Racing.
Why do I mention this? Because MARTIN WHITMARSH has just been hired to run the company due to a recommendation by Adrian.

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Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx
Cut the Mclaren bit to size and you can use it in my write up.
The F1 access page looks like Apple subsidized it, with their products all over front and center.

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