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I'm down for a driver bio too, sounds like fun to me!
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Nov 25, 2014 15:39
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Sashimi posted:This year's McLaren was bad, but at least it was consistently finishing in the points. Well, Jenson's was. krushgroove posted:Lots of goons signed up to do driver & team bios: https://docs.google.com/document/d/18BeDKUTb0dRKDdVdtUo349RIq1so7ancp1kE9WpHpRU/edit?usp=sharing I'm down for doing a bio for a driver/team/track/anything. Except Bernie. gently caress Bernie.
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Nov 26, 2014 19:49
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The BBC have called it for Button as well and they're usually pretty cautious. e: Link I'm so happy that he's got another year, but part of me is pissed off I have to care about McLaren still.
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Dec 11, 2014 01:15
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It's a shame past performance is generally meaningless, because statistically speaking Button has won 100% of WDCs in years when he thought he might not even be in F1.
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Dec 11, 2014 19:13
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1500quidporsche posted:
Both of these things can remain true and I will be a happy man. I'm still slightly bemused by the various arguments that Button is too old and should have been dropped. If he's dropped then the new oldest driver on the grid is... Fernando Alonso, a mere year younger.
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Dec 12, 2014 01:01
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be nice wicka posted:kimi is 35 Wait what? How did I miss that? They should drop him. But not because of his age.
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Dec 12, 2014 01:17
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Brainwrong posted:That's a bit harsh, he did alright at Williams last year Just goes to show what you can achieve if you plug Smedley's gamepad into a better car.
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Jan 3, 2015 08:10
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Actually the correct procedure now that Toyota have joined the thread should be for them to spend ridiculous amounts of money trying to catch up with everything we've said, attempting to replicate it in a worst thread of their own, and eventually for them to realise they'll never get it right and have blown a fortune trying and then gently caress off.
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Jan 5, 2015 05:47
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This might be of interest to those of you caning for a racing fix. Join in a rewatching of the 1997 Austrian Grand Prix, and go on twitter to speculate how many of the no-hopers would have been leading Formula E candidates back in the day.
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Jan 6, 2015 21:23
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I actually did quite like the livery and the concept, but I would have liked it a drat sight more if I'd been able to see it moving at the speed of a real F1 car.
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Jan 13, 2015 20:14
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That might well still be the case now.
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Jan 17, 2015 14:34
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keevo posted:Lol they only have 7 sponsors Statistically Button performs best in cars with unspoilt bodywork. djssniper posted:Bottas 41:1 I'm taking a punt on that WDC fella Those are drat good odds!
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Jan 30, 2015 01:29
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Tsaedje posted:Clearly they've run out of money with no sponsors and they're going the way of Marussia and Caterham I can absolutely see McLaren going the way of original Lotus or Brabham or any of the once great teams that just withered and died. Mainly because Ron's style of management is incredibly loving tedious and he doesn't seem to really be cutting the mustard any more. enri posted:Well that toro rosso certainly looks... exactly the same as it has for the past X years Apart from the one that was actually a Red Bull they have pretty uch all looked the same. The only way I would know that was a 2015 car is from the slight protuberance at the front. I don't hate it though. In fact I'm pretty happy with the looks of all this year's cars so far. Nobody has had a particularly interesting new livery since the first Force Indias, at least that Sauber adds a bit of colour to the grid.
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Feb 1, 2015 06:16
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I'm tempted to say McLaren died when Senna left too. They've had highlights since then, Hakkinen did great work for them and of course Hamilton won the WDC too. But aside from those two exceptional drivers briefly making the most of their cars, McLaren have done more than any other team in the last twenty years to throw away their opportunities and slowly decline towards the midfield.
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Feb 1, 2015 06:49
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simplefish posted:They were the only ones taking it to Red Bull in... I want to say 2011 They were Red Bull's closest rivals, but only had Button actually capable of challenging all year. They threw away having the best car in 2007, nearly did it in 2008 too, and we'll never really know how good the 2012 one was because although it raced at the front that year was such an astonishing clusterfuck of pit errors and setup problems that god knows what it could have done. They had a post Senna slump, a post Hakkinen slump (wasn't the 2005 car another top car that underachieved? Though I recall that was maybe engine reliability) and now they're in a post-Hamilton slump. They even have a history of producing absolute dogs when they're on form, for most hilarious McLaren ever that 2009 car just beats out the MP4-18 that became the 19 and was still poo poo. Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester posted:Is this a German eating a German sausage in a German car? This is glorious and I celebrate the next 5 years of unchallenged domination of Rosberg and Mercedes in F1. No, it's a half Finnish tax exile.
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Feb 1, 2015 18:26
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Riso posted:Half Finn, Half German Full Monegasque sounds like a niche sex act. be nice wicka posted:the smaller subs are where the users are more into reddit as an "ideal" Never having spent time on Reddit I'm curious as to what this 'ideal' is? From what I've seen of the site it's just a relentless barrage of links and comments, all mostly crap. Kind of like Fark but every thread begins with an actual worthless thought from someone's brain.
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Feb 1, 2015 19:07
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be nice wicka posted:everyone is special and all opinions are equally valid Ah, I see. What a magical land of whimsy it must be. Regarding the McLaren, it should be all white, with a six inch red line from the tip of the nose pointing back towards the driver, and another red line encircling the entire nosecone about six inches back from that. They can call it the MP4/Ron.
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Feb 1, 2015 20:57
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Butt Wizard posted:Jesus Christ i have the most important one. How much do you want? I think you'll find I have the most important one. harperdc posted:NOTICE ME I'd love to do few track writeups too, if nobody else is interested? If only because it might give me a chance to wax lyrical about Belgium.
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Mar 7, 2015 14:54
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I have no intention of atempting the accent but I'm tempted to have a go at this.
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Mar 8, 2015 23:23
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Butt Wizard posted:Just go overboard and phone it in. I would but I'm from nu zullund and everything I say sounds makes it sound like I've got a mouthful of honey. Well I can do vague standard Brit or broad Somerset. The first is probably preferable. I've got a few bits and pieces of BBC intros from various videos that I can chop about. If I get the time over the next day or so I'll have a crack at it. Need to sort out my writeups for Spa and Formula One Race Winner Pastor Maldonado too.
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Mar 9, 2015 00:16
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Butt Wizard posted:Just tack the ending from this onto whatever you come up with and it will be golden: I loved that intro! Needs more Webbah though...
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Mar 9, 2015 01:33
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be nice wicka posted:shanghai is shaped like the first character in the chinese spelling of "shanghai" Except on my phone, where the track image is tiny and kind of looks like a grumpy bird sat on its arse.
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Mar 9, 2015 18:41
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poty posted:Oh my god Well it does!
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Mar 9, 2015 23:50
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Right, I didn't have time to make a proper edited video with racing in it, or even to find some engine noises or radio quotes to put under what I did manage to do (anyone who wants to do this should feel free), so I took Butt Wizard's advice and edited down the Science Of Speed opening to fit my lovely voiceover: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBG3KxV-rog Any credit should go to eriddy for the words and Butt WIzard for the idea. Any blame probably lies with me. You'll have to queue up The Chain for yourselves, the version of this video on youtube that had that section on the end steadfastly refused to download for me.
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Mar 9, 2015 23:58
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harperdc posted:NOTICE MY TRACKS These are really excellent writeups, thank you.
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Mar 10, 2015 14:56
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I'm going to get crucified if this isn't good enough. NOTICE ME Formula One Race Winner Pastor Maldonado b. 9 March 1985  Formula One Race Winner Pastor Maldonado is a Venezuelan philanthropist, racing driver, and significant contributor to the entropy of the universe. His philanthropic activities have mostly been confined to monetary donations to underfunded racing teams, work which he has carried out since a young age and combined neatly with a burgeoning career as a race driver. Having helped out teams in Formula Renault, Italian F3000, and Formula Renault 3.5, he found himself supporting teams in the GP2 feeder series. Believing wholeheartedly in sharing his wealth he sponsored four teams in his time in GP2, taking a mere four years to finally win the GP2 title, one more title than almost every other driver who has ever competed in the series. Maldonado was courted by all of the new entrants to Formula One in 2010, but wisely decided that his charitable donations were more worthy of assisting a previously great team now brought low. He thus joined the Williams F1 team in 2011, replacing his former GP2 teammate Nico Hulkenburg, who has never won a Formula One race. His speed was evident from the beginning, and although it was a little time before the other drivers and the mechanical components of his car fully adjusted to his style it took him a mere three races to record his first finish, and barely another nine after that to score his first World Championship point, something many drivers never manage to do at all.  Pastor Maldonado finished the 2011 season ranked the fifth best driver from the New World, promoted to fourth when it was discovered that Felipe Massa was actually piloted by Englishman Rob Smedley. He achieved this feat with his impressive consistency, lying between 14th and 18th in all but three of the many races he finished, and as a result Williams were pleased to have him stay for another season to see the fruits of his charitable work.  The jealousy of others over his many successes saw Formula One Race Winner Pastor Maldonado become the most heavily reprimanded driver of 2012, but his continued efforts to make work for tyre barrier builders, Arnco manufacturers, carbon fibre experts, and race stewards saw many to come to regard him as a hero for the working man. Once again it took him a mere three races to finally cross the finish line, but it was in the fourth race that he achieved his greatest success to date. After a blisteringly second fastest lap in qualifying Maldonado skillfully stood by as Lewis Hamilton was disqualified, promoting him to pole position for the 2012 Spanish Grand Prix. He fell to second place at the start of the race but a brilliant pit stop saw him use the Marussia of Charles Pic to hold up his closest rival while he retook the lead. There were worries late in the race when he was under pressure from Fernando Alonso, but a mere two time World Champion was easy for Pastor to handle, and he duly went down in the record books as the first Venezuelan ever to sit on the shoulders of a Spaniard and a Finn simultaneously.  While celebrating after the race Formula One Race Winner Pastor Maldonado's heroic status was confirmed as he saved his cousin from a conflagration in the Williams pit, allowing his mechanics and those from other teams better access to fight the fire once the remaining women and children and the disabled man had also escaped. It's widely accepted that Maldonado's actions were significant in ensuring a mere thirty-one injuries and seven hospitalisations.  Having seen the wondrous bounty of his charity, Maldonado devoted the rest of his season to benefitting the aforementioned barrier constructors and carbon fibre manufacturers, with the assistance of Sergio Perez, Pedro de la Rosa, the Wall of Champions, Lewis Hamilton, Sergio Perez again, Paul di Resta, Timo Glock, and the inside kerb of turn three at Interlagos.  Unlike Sebastian Vettel, Pastor Maldonado was not a greedy man. He knew that one race victory was plenty, indeed far more than most drivers who entered the sport, and more indeed than many of the drivers who finished above him in the Championship. He therefore quietly devoted his 2013 season to further work on behalf of the barrier and carbon fibre industries. Despite this, a creeping feeling grew. As he pottered about the race tracks of the world, complaining about the car and accusing his team of sabotaging him, he gradually became aware of another team, further up the grid, who outwardly appeared as though the Quantum money would arrive any day now but inwardly were in turmoil. His mind made up, he was told by Williams they would not be retaining him in 2014, and he moved on to become the chief benefactor of Lotus F1.  Having decided to devote the remainder of his life solely to charitable work, he gracefully flipped Esteban Gutierrez into the air at the Bahrain Grand Prix to illustrate the need for revolution in that country, before seeking ever better ways to highlight the perpetual struggle of those who build barriers, cars, helmets and so on. To illustrate his point he made superb use of the wall, the wall again, Marcus Ericsson, Gutierrez again, Jules Bianchi, the wall again, and the wall again again. Finishing as one of the best sixteen drivers in the world, his public profile ensured that his philanthropic quest simply could not be ignored.   In the 2015 season Formula One Race Winner Pastor Maldonado will once again embark on his charitable crusade at the wheel of a Lotus F1 car. He has finally found a place where he feels comfortable as a person and as a Formula One Race Winner, with a team who are happy to let him demonstrate on behalf of the workers as much as he likes provided he continues making sizeable financial donations and does not crash into his teammate, Romain Grosjean, who has never won a Formula One race. In a world now sadly without Chavez, the story of Maldonado continues to be the story of a humble socialist backed by $60million of dirty oil money who just wants to make a difference. 
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Mar 11, 2015 01:02
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El Hefe posted:Nobody is gonna read that Nobody has to. keevo posted:You forgot about the time he nursed a track marshal back to health after being unjustly banned from racing at Monaco. Yeah, it was hard to crowbar everything in to be honest. Hence why two seasons got reduced to basically lists of the most significant things he'd hit. darth cookie posted:I read it and it was good. Cheers 
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Mar 11, 2015 01:52
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Jedit posted:He's just following in the footsteps of Michael Schumacher, who also left a Renault powered team for Ferrari and drove a Brawn. This deserves love. Regarding Sauber, having taken VDG's money last season to stay afloat and then presumably realised they needed more, they might have been wiser to talk to his rich backer themselves and ask for more in exchange for an interest in the team or something like that. Talking rich people into parting with their money with vague promises of some sort of return on it perhaps in a few years maybe is what Formula 1 does - even Richard Branson was suckered in to it. Taking someone's money as part of a legally watertight contract for a race seat and then ignoring them and taking someone else's money for the same is straight up illegal, and not the kind of illegal that people moan about for a bit and then it sort of goes away. It's also really loving stupid if you're a small team with no means of reimbursing them. Either they thought they could weasel out of the contract, or they brazenly never had any intention of upholding it. Bernie needs teams on the grid this season but it's probably too late for him to intervene now. His silence so far is quite telling.
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Mar 11, 2015 17:52
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Riso posted:Button once broke his contract with Williams to drive another year in a poo poo show Honda and had to pay millions to make it go away. He later became WDC and was able to move to McLaren. Drivers often change their minds and sort things out for large sums of money, and legally Williams could probably have enforced that contract and had a driver who didn't want to race for them stuck in the car for a year. This case is the reverse though - he wants to race, he has a contract to race, and the team have acted as though he doesn't. It's not about VDG breaking a contract and whether that would affect his career, it's about Sauber breaking a contract and whether that will bankrupt them or prevent other drivers/sponsors/etc wanting to be associated with them. And yeah, van der Garde isn't racing in F1 again unless he actually ends up in a Sauber this year. It's not really about the case, he's simply 29 and not very good and there will always be younger guys with rich daddies in GP2. The chances of there being such a run on pay drivers that his name comes up are basically zero.
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Mar 11, 2015 18:05
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