F1 2014 Off season - #Blessed #MegaJet - The Something Awful Forums

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DMorbid: Jan 6, 2011; Hello! I see you.

"Finnish off your sentences"

Uh, okay then. I'll say PERKELE at the end of every sentence, is that Finnish enough?

edit: wait I know I'll end all sentences by complaining about Alonso being a lovely paydriver who sabotaged Kimi's car all this season

# ¿ Nov 27, 2014 03:38

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 11:50

DMorbid: Jan 6, 2011; Hello! I see you.

Butt Wizard posted:

I don't remember Yoong being as bad as Ide. Yoong's cars were rubbish, the Super Aguris weren't anywhere near the same 'back row brigade' status.

I also think Ide was worse than Yoong, but the 2006 Super Aguris were basically four-year-old Arrows cars with some new bits plastered on and they were very much backmarkers during that season.

# ¿ Dec 14, 2014 15:37

DMorbid: Jan 6, 2011; Hello! I see you.

I honestly had no idea he was even still alive. I suppose I just assumed he died in the early 1970s, as was the likely scenario for drivers back in those days.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2015 02:04

DMorbid: Jan 6, 2011; Hello! I see you.

HJB posted:

Having Nova Chemicals next to the cockpit is redundant, they already have a toxic driver.

I actually couldn't remember who Toro Rosso's non-Verstappen driver was, had to look it up.

Carlos Sainz's dad was cool when he rolled his Celica a million times in Australia way back when.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2015 19:11

DMorbid: Jan 6, 2011; Hello! I see you.

Stellar Curiosity posted:

The only time Seb will be overtaking a Mercedes this season

Also, I wish Red Bull would keep using that livery after the tests because I like it a lot more than their regular one.

# ¿ Feb 1, 2015 12:26

DMorbid: Jan 6, 2011; Hello! I see you.

darth cookie posted:

It does look pretty good, but it obscures the sponsor logos somewhat. So it won't happen.

Horny Horner said the final livery would be "striking", so I expect it to look exactly the same as last year's.

they should just use hornyhorner.jpg as their livery imo

# ¿ Feb 2, 2015 13:03

DMorbid: Jan 6, 2011; Hello! I see you.

Jedit posted:

They routinely sedated Raikkonnen before the press conferences.

Kimi was sedated at birth.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2015 20:38

DMorbid: Jan 6, 2011; Hello! I see you.

Falken posted:

Oh, and Schumacher curb-stomped everyone here in 1995 in the wet.

I believe you mean 1996. He curb-stomped everyone there in 1995 too, but that was in a dominant Benetton in a dry race instead of a shitbox Ferrari in torrential rain..

# ¿ Mar 8, 2015 01:50

DMorbid: Jan 6, 2011; Hello! I see you.

harperdc posted:

Round 20 - Abu Dhabi GP - Yas Marina Circuit

It also runs under and around a posh hotel that looks like a jellyfish being lit from beneath.

excuse me, that hotel is supposed to be called the Dickwhale Hotel

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 05:28

DMorbid: Jan 6, 2011; Hello! I see you.

BREAKING NEWS: Sebastian Vettel has named his car "Eva".

insert hitler jokes here I guess

# ¿ Mar 11, 2015 15:43

DMorbid: Jan 6, 2011; Hello! I see you.

Diplomat posted:

Kimi has a typical Finnish demeanor which generally leads to humorous situations. Below are some of the more prominent things that may be mentioned.

Ice Cream - At the 2009 Malaysian GP the race was stopped due to rain. While most drivers waited in their cars for the race to resume, Kimi changed in to casual clothes and treated himself to a snack.

Having a poo poo - During a presentation at the 2002 Brazillian GP, Kimi was interviewed by Martin Brundle who asked why he missed the event.

"Leave me alone, I know what I'm doing" - Kimi won the 2012 Abu Dhabi GP with Lotus, which was his first win since 2009 and Lotus/Renault first win since 2008.

Offtrack in Brazil - Kimi missed a braking point and went off track at the 2012 Brazilian GP. Unfortunately for him the access road was blocked off and he couldn't re-enter the track without turning around.

General Team Radio Shenanigans

Monaco Boat - In the 2006 Monaco GP, Kimi's was forced to retired when his McLaren caught fire. He promptly left the track (did not return to the garage) and spent the rest of the race on his yacht that was docked nearby.

I'd also mention some of his more entertaining off-track shenanigans, including:

- passing out at a strip club with an inflatable dolphin
- entering a boat race with the entire crew wearing gorilla suits
- falling down from his yacht while drunk
- groping some chicks and doing a strip show of his own at another strip club (and getting thrown out)

edit: Ron Dennis does something unthinkable and sort of admits he's been talking out of his rear end:

quote:

Ron Dennis has admitted he gave false information regarding Fernando Alonso's test crash in February.

The McLaren chairman claimed Alonso never suffered a concussion following the impact with the trackside wall, but it transpired later that wasn't the case.

Speaking ahead of the Australian Grand Prix, he admitted his mistake.

"It was not the best performance by me," he said. "I understand why the press beat me up for being inaccurate. I wanted to be open and honest. I failed. But it is my objective to try to be as honest as possible in future.

"There are a lot of complexities about concussion. It is difficult to quantify, and it goes beyond my area of expertise."

Dennis also confirmed that Alonso is likely to be back in the car for the second race of the season in Malaysia, but ultimately the decision isn't his.

"It is not my decision. But as far as I know Fernando will be in Malaysia. I have every reason to believe he will be there," he added.

"I spoke to him on the way over here. He wants to race there. I hope he does, but it is his decision, not mine."

Not his area of expertise? But he was so sure about it earlier! If I can't trust Ron Dennis, who can I trust?

DMorbid fucked around with this message at 08:42 on Mar 12, 2015

# ¿ Mar 12, 2015 07:59

DMorbid: Jan 6, 2011; Hello! I see you.

Manor's car in all its glory:

# ¿ Mar 12, 2015 09:55

DMorbid: Jan 6, 2011; Hello! I see you.

poopzilla posted:

Ron Dennis should be fired into the sun and immediately replaced by Flavio �Sex Bomb� Briatore. That�s the only way to make Mclaren slightly tolerable.

# ¿ Mar 12, 2015 16:49

DMorbid: Jan 6, 2011; Hello! I see you.

Funzo posted:

Is....is that Alonso?

He's so dreamy :swoon:

# ¿ Mar 12, 2015 16:53

DMorbid: Jan 6, 2011; Hello! I see you.

Skarsnik posted:

That could say RIP JOHN on the side for all I know

Unfortunately, the Japanese katakana just says "JB".

edit: baka gaijin :japan:

# ¿ Mar 12, 2015 17:06

DMorbid: Jan 6, 2011; Hello! I see you.

Tsaedje posted:

I would like to point out that I do not in fact read moon speak, and just looked it up

E: not quick enough to save my shattered reputation

I read enough moonspeak to figure out basic moon runes and maybe understand some really simple phrases, but that's about it. I'm still cool and good, right?

(nobody posting in this thread is cool or good, including me)

# ¿ Mar 12, 2015 17:19

DMorbid: Jan 6, 2011; Hello! I see you.

Put that and hornyhorner.jpg in the new thread's OP, to show newcomers what F1 is all about.

# ¿ Mar 12, 2015 17:49

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 11:50

DMorbid: Jan 6, 2011; Hello! I see you.

It could have been worse, Branson could have won that bet. Tony Fernandes in drag :gonk:

# ¿ Mar 12, 2015 17:57

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > F1 2014 Off season - #Blessed #MegaJet