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captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

Perez is all good for next year, right? I thought I heard someone saying that.

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captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

Wirth1000 posted:

Of all the things to change around in that shamble of an organization you ditch Alonso of all people instead of, say, Raikkonen? What?

It doesn't seem to make sense at all, unless they wanted Vettel so badly that they were willing to put up with whatever he wanted. Vettle vs. Alonso at Ferrari? Who on earth wouldn't want to see that? Not that it's a new concept to anyone here, but Vettel would look at that team and think, "I would LOVE to race against Raikkonen at Ferrari!"

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

Man, it's got to be tough to work for Ferrari, especially as an Italian. I'd constantly have ulcers about the cut and fabric of my suits, the designer that makes my shirts, whether or not my shoes are good enough, the pattern (or lack thereof) on my tie, my haircut, my sunglasses, my belt/suspenders (braces), pinky rings, cigarette brands, ugh Jesus. It's too much stress.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

That's the appearance they give. But many of them are secretly worried.

"Brioni: is-a too mainstream?" Staring into the mirror, paralyzed by indecision. It's a common reason for taking days off work in Milan.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

Riso posted:

Implying there is a good Bernie.

Hey man, Bernie says think before you drive!

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

gret posted:

We should do write ups on Team Principals too so I can pen a love letter to Claire Williams.

And don't forget everyone's favorite supervillain, Bernard Ecclestone.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

Yeah I'd feel %Blessed to be able to write about teams, drivers, owners, impresarios, engineers, aerodynamicists, submissive nazis, andrea modas, significant others, flaming pundits, or even Jean Todt.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

I don't understand the anyone's infatuation with yacht racing. I guess any time there are 2 or more of one type of vehicle...

What I want to see is a Red-Bull-style air race but with 747s. Like, specifically modified for racing too. By Arab shieks. They would probably have to widen the courses up a little bit.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

Well I don't see why we can't have more than one constructor in this new form of motorsport. I do admit that the Ay-rabs would be more likely to go for the Airbus platform, although the A380 is nearly twice the price of the Boeing. I don't know how many tenths you're going to gain by spending the extra $200m but I'm sure a lot of it is going to depend on your captain and copilot as well.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

Tsaedje posted:

I saw it as a kid coming in to land when I was living next door to the Farnborough Air Show. loving terrifying.

Aww, I would love to see one of those in person, especially landing or taking off. Those things are loving crazy also since when did the drat Russkies steal our space shuttle design? That poo poo is like straight up some Chinese-auto-industry-style theft.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

Alonso still all talking in Italian on the radio while at an English team.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

Button did do quite a bit better in the points this year than Magnussen. If they got rid of Button, it'd be like, I don't know, some famous team firing an incredible driver over a lackluster but hilarious Finn or something.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

CratSock posted:

Alonso/Button is the best F1 thing I've seen in a while. Can't wait to see how it plays out. Hoping it won't be a Nando blowout, and closer to a 60/40, but secretly crossing my fingers for a Nico/Lewis head to head scenario with the new Super Honda Power rocketing McLaren to the front of the grid!

Well, remember the out-of-nowhere glory that was Brawn! Will you change your name to McLatSock if Nando wins the WDC?

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

Alain Post posted:

Seriously, who the hell was the last Italian driver with significant potential? It's probably Fisi/Trulli but those guys sucked rear end so it's really Sandro Nannini.
No, it was Luca Badoer. He was really a gifted driver but Kimi didn't want him to succeed.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

garbage fraud fraud garbage fakepost

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

Human Grand Prix posted:

Ferrari's tire analyst (Hamashima) has left.

I'm applying for that job for 2015. I wonder how much Hama got paid?

"Hey guys...which one is that? Super soft? Looks good. Make sure you uh...make sure you heat it up enough. Good to go."

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

Well, despite my strongly-held belief that tire (tyre) analysts just kind of glance over at Pirellis to make sure they're black and have letters on them, I'd still never get hired by Ferrari as I have no idea what loafers are appropriate to wear on a Tuesday in Spring. Just getting my foot in the door would cost me half of Hamashima's salary in leather and wool/silk.

Maybe if I told them my name was Ant Sinistra...

E: I would consider changing my username to Ant Sinistra but I'm not sure that I can remember my password.

captainOrbital fucked around with this message at Dec 17, 2014 around 21:15

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

Ferrari's lovely-rear end website does not work in Chrome or IE. How am I supposed to submit my CV like this you Guinea jerks?

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

Does Morse code translate? Do non-English-speaking nations use Morse code, or is it a thing like ASL where there's different nationalities?

Anyway, I'm applying for the Chief Tyre Analyst job to replace that Japanese dude. I'm using my mom's maiden name to apply because she's Italian.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

1500quidporsche posted:

I'm just sending a vial of an Italian man's blood along with a letter say that I want the job, the blood is mine, and I bleed Ferrari Red.

"I have Pirelli tyres on my car AND motorcycle, and I can tell the difference between them. My motorcycle's tires are narrower and rounder. Also, at night I put electric blankets on all of them so they will be warm."
-Antonio "Ant" Sinistra, 2014
Molto Bene, and God Bless Ferrari

ps one of my sons is named Enzo

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

drat, the smoking thing hurts I will admit that, but the Pope is a countryman of mine.

And my other son, Morgan, dressed up as Felipe Massa for Halloween one year. Yeah, not Michael Schumacher for some reason. Still.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

gret posted:

That's Sebastien. Not Sebastian.

Says the guy with a Sebastian Bourdais avatar.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

That motherfucker is "only" 84. He could theoretically live for another 10 or even 20 years.

poo poo, there was one dude in England that lived to be almost 114, so I can only assume that Bernie will still be around in 30 years. At which point I will be 70. Awesome.

At least he's not a woman. Probably.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

Abner Assington posted:

God, this is some junior college design poo poo. I want to throw up.

SNAPSHOT

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

Wow, Peter Windsor in a distinguished Alpinestars sweater. I haven't seen his punk rear end in a while.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

I wish Varsha still worked the races though. Lee Diffey is fine, but obviously nobody is better than David Hobbs.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

Alain Post posted:

He always came off as completely insufferable whenever he was interviewed, usually whining about how something Schumacher was doing was "unacceptable" or whatever.

You could easily be talking about JPM. What a big baby.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

CratSock posted:

Kimi looks beady eyed and chubby... Is "Flag Man" wearing a tie?
Flag man is obviously Psy.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

I never liked all those little winglets and giblets.

I am in favo(u)r, however, of 1,000-horsepower cars with non-sequential mechanical gearboxes and 3 pedals.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

I have to admit that double points did give Britney a fighting chance for the last race, but I hope that they've gotten rid of it for this year like they said.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

CratSock posted:

Not one comment on that loving hair!?

The hair, the pants, the huge watch, there's so much to love in that photo. A thousand words indeed.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

I like that theoretical yellow and blue Sauber; it looks old-school.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

Myrddin_Emrys posted:

This thread has turned into some kind of Star Wars Fan fiction thread, and its the worst.

Vettel is our little Anakin.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

He has that look like he could just take his hands off the helmet and it would stay right where it is.

e: they both do

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

Oooh poo poo, it turns out that Ferrari were poo poo BECAUSE of Alonso, not the other way around! What a revelation.

Also I will be ecstatic if Kimi ends up being faster than Fettel.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

CratSock posted:

The McLaren isn't awful, but is extremely disappointing considering it could have brought back a cool historic look.

Don't forget that the McLaren is only doing a testing livery! They're not backpedaling; they're just getting their real livery together now.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

simble posted:

Quick, now someone make an innuendo joke involving Claire Williams!

It's claire that your williams is very small.

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

Sulman posted:

Hmm. I know the engine isn't mapped properly or anything but holy gently caress this is ragged.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BwMFvF0Gfk

Remember that go-kart track they used to have where the track was made of metal and they put like talcum powder all over it?

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

keevo posted:

Austalia.

I miss those cool Austalia liveries from rally racing.

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captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!


Horny Horner is jealous as poo poo of this picture.

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