Jurassic World - Feather Frustration Station

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exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Everything in this trailer just seemed tremendously uninspired to me, from the quality of the CGI to all I've come to know of the plot. Such a pointless series reboot, but at least it probably won't stop people from going to see it anyway and at a later point complaining about the lack of originality in Hollywood.

# ¿ Nov 26, 2014 15:02

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 15:04

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

PriorMarcus posted:

Just because it's a physical object doesn't mean it isn't CG in that shot.

The worst CGI is the dead shark, because they could've easily used a model for that and it has no weight to it at all. Also the Mosasaur is way too big, it just looks dumb.

It kinda seems like an 80ft sea monster that could leap out of the water and take out the first dozen rows of spectators over the barrier is pretty unsafe. Don't worry though, I'm sure it's a directorial masterstroke to demonstrate the inherent instabilities of any system that attempts to control engineered monsters for the entertainment of the well-to-do burgeosie consumer culture. And so on and so forth.

# ¿ Nov 26, 2014 15:32

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Then why even show those big effect shots at all if they're going to look like junk. Who watches this trailer with plasticene dinos apparently modeled in Unreal 3 and goes "aha yes, I am thoroughly excited for this movie now."

# ¿ Nov 26, 2014 15:59

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Millions of advertising dollars spent, big Thanksgiving Day reveal just to let folks know hey, this lovely-looking movie exists. Keep it on your radar.

# ¿ Nov 26, 2014 16:05

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

A Jurassic Park MOBA might be the only positive thing to ever come out of the entire awful genre.

# ¿ Nov 30, 2014 19:34

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Stare-Out posted:

The scene where the Rex breaks out of its paddock and steps out is still incredibly real looking. It's the little details that make it like the water splashes as it steps on the road and the paddock supports bending as it leans on them.

I think the reason why the CGI in all three movies so far looks so real is because the movement of the dinosaurs is based on real animals like birds and elephants and such.

It's probably the opposite, really: We've never seen a real dinosaur move, so there's no frame of reference for "well that's obviously fake looking" in the same way a human model moving in Spider-Man 2 looks loving terrible ten years later. The effects in Jurassic Park still look great because they're used sparingly and there's an actual craft to the shots rather than relying on your CG artists to frame the entire scene for you.

# ¿ Dec 3, 2014 21:12

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

TLW's greatest contribution to my life was Chaos Island, a PC Warcraft II clone with dinos instead of orcs. They got the entire original cast to do voice over work for their parts, which in 1997 blew my mind. That and Trespasser, albeit for completely different reasons.

# ¿ Dec 4, 2014 14:36

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

PriorMarcus posted:

It's not the same area of fence though. The Rex comes out in front of the car Ian and Alan are in. The car that is pushed into the ravine is the kids. I always assumed the pen dropped off at both sides of the feeding area. Keep in mind the goat rises up out of the ground. I think that area is an artificial hill that leads the Rex up to feeding zone.

Even still the area isn't really consistent given the distance Grant has to walk to get Tim out of the tree later on, and you don't see a big hill right behind it as you would expect. In the end nobody really cares because it's a movie and one of the most impressive action sequences ever, even with all the continuity errors.

# ¿ Dec 8, 2014 02:17

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Michael Crichton was wrong about basically all of his scientific predictions except the rapid and often reckless commercialization of genetic engineering, which is probably why Jurassic Park has endured.

# ¿ Dec 20, 2014 05:26

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

These new CGI modules are incredible. A few more years' development and we won't even need to film anymore.

# ¿ Dec 23, 2014 23:48

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

CaptainHollywood posted:

It's true - but the problem has become an over-reliance on CG over Practical. The best example for this is the new Thing movie. While some of the stop motion effects are a little out of date on the whole - the Carpenter's is better. This is also why Tremors has aged quite well.

The human eye isn't stupid. It knows when we're tricked into seeing something that isn't there- and we get a reaction of

Jurassic Park did an amazing job of BLENDING CG and Practical - but everyone just assumes "the CG looks so good". Clever editing made that possible.

I think most people are also pretty reasonable when something looks good "for its time" and are willing to overlook some of the spottier effects in Jurassic Park because there's actual care and craftmanship to the shots that were used. I read somewhere that the dinosaurs were onscreen for all of 17 minutes out of a 127-minute movie, and to me that's how even an effects-heavy movie should be. Now when I'm sitting in front of a TV screen watching Spider-Man 2 or Captain America the Video Game the Movie, knowing he's using a computer-generated shield to take down two computer-generated Terran Firebats producing computer-generated fire, my mind and my intelligence feels insulted. There's no actual artistry there, it's just "how much mindless entertainment can we stuff down people's throats" in the most cynical way possible. A little mindless entertainment is fine every now and again, but Marvel releases five movies a year of this dumb poo poo.

# ¿ Dec 24, 2014 11:27

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Party Boat posted:

The notion that CGI doesn't involve "care and craftsmanship" and isn't "actual artistry" is what's really insulting here. Would it be any better if a two hour effects wank was all practical?

If that's what you got out of what I wrote then I think you misinterpreted my point. I don't care if the CGI is well-implemented and useful, I just don't like being overloaded with special effects to such an extent that it completely removes me from the movie and I know I'm looking at an effects shot. CGI (and practical) should be used purposefully, meaningfully, and sparingly.

# ¿ Dec 24, 2014 12:16

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

achillesforever6 posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ryzm9PTxzc
Huh I didn't know Vincent D�Onofrio was in this movie

When is that Orson Welles biopic gonna come out so he can finally drop all that weight.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2015 02:13

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

feedmyleg posted:

Jurassic Park: Isolation

100% my dream game.

A Shadows of Mordor-type Jurassic Park survival sim where the raptors remember your earlier encounters, and when you face them later after they've been promoted to pack leader you can make them fight for you.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2015 21:57

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

The whole prevailing theme of the first Jurassic Park, summarized by Ian Malcolm two scenes later, is that Hammond & Co. were so quick to commodotize genetic engineering for profit that they didn't even stop to consider the implications of it. This is reinforced by Wu having to stop for a moment to even remember the name of the highly intelligent, lethal death monster being birthed in his own lab.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2015 01:40

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Many of the dinosaur embryo names are misspelled. Hammond always makes it a point to say "spared no expense" when the park cut corners at every turn in order to churn out a profit for their investors as fast as possible.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2015 10:44

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Xenomrph posted:

In the grand scheme of product placement, that Barbasol can is pretty iconic. Pretty much no one born before like 1985 can look at a Barbasol can and not immediately associate it with Jurassic Park.

Off the top of my head I can't even think of another product where the moment I see it, I instantly think of a movie it's been in.

Reese's Pieces.

# ¿ Apr 3, 2015 00:54

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

There are some weird things from Jurassic Park that I thought I remembered being present for the cinematic release, but not the VHS version. One of them was a short scene of Ellie actually grabbing the leaf that she has in the Brachiosaur reveal as the jeeps are going through the jungle. I could have sworn up and down that I saw this in theaters, but in retrospect, I think I probably imagined it from a production still I saw when I was seven or whatever. Another scene that I thought was edited down for VHS (but probably just imagined by me) was the first T-Rex reveal. I thought I remembered a couple additional seconds of the Rex chowing down on the flipped explorer. I probably would have forgotten all about this by now if not for the fact that one of my friends from grade school mentioned the same exact scenes I just described.

# ¿ Apr 3, 2015 16:05

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

I've got a jet-sounding Bio Chopper.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2015 02:07

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

"You wanna have one of those?"
"I don't want that kid, but a breed of child Doctor Grant could be intriguing" -- something said between two platonic co-workers.

# ¿ Apr 10, 2015 18:34

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

This movie is gonna suck.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2015 21:58

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Imagined posted:

I always picture the people who try to defend stupid, bad poo poo as "lol turn off your brain it's entertainment" as watching 'Teletubbies' the rest of the time. "What's not to like? It's moving pictures hurrr"

CineD takes this in the totally opposite direction by writing 10,000 word treatises on how Chris Pratt riding a motorcycle with raptors, who are both themselves works of mechanical reproduction in the Lacanian real, is a masterstroke of mise en abyme.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2015 22:50

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Darko posted:

People aren't really saying that in regards to this.

It's, "it's possibly so purposely/non-purposely stupid that it becomes surrealistic/it accepts the absurdity of the situations and uses that absurdity to create action sequences that go beyond normal constraints."

Examples:

- Acceptance of The Lost World GENERALLY seems to be the difference between people that understand that it was a purposeful satire that poked fun at/played upon expectations and cultural significance of the first movie, while giving Spielberg a toybox to craft really good independent sequences, and those that just look at it wanting it to replicate the feel of the first. There are exceptions.

- Acceptance of Starship Troopers seems to be split between people that think it's a bad movie, or a purposeful satiric condemnation of war/propaganda and elements found in the book, which has fun while doing so.

- People on this forum generally really start liking the Fast and Furious series at 3, and ESPECIALLY at 5, where Justin Lin focuses on attempting to give the audience as much as possible in action sequences and character interactions, keeping the plot/story at a near farce.

That's different than cutting your brain off, because your brain is focusing on the craft of other things outside of plain, "plot."

Who really cares about whatever postmodern word salad people use to justify liking the poo poo they're into? The end result is the same, you liking the Fast and the Furious. Both points of view are fine. The only difference is that the average movie goer upon being asked will say they liked the stunts or the actors in the movie, whereas the goon will say "well it presents an extremely effective subversion of film tropes by its near-overindulgence of those elements conveyed therein..."

# ¿ Apr 21, 2015 23:50

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Tuxedo Catfish posted:

Well sure, if you assume from the beginning that it's "word salad" I could see how it wouldn't make any difference.

Except it isn't word salad. Turns out that if you put more attention and effort into the media you consume, you tend to like different movies, and for different reasons, and you're better equipped to explain those reasons to others!

I just think it's weird how many people here deride the whole "turn your brain off" response to ultimately come around to the same exact conclusion, except they thought extra super hard about it or whatever. Who cares? You both liked the movie, and one of you didn't have to do the mental gymnastics required to justify their enjoyment of it for fear of being considered lowbrow.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2015 00:20

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

In a more modern retelling of Jurassic Park, Dr. Alan Grant emerges from the collapsing visitor's center to the rescue jeep and forcefully declares "Mr. Hammond, after careful consideration I've decided...to ENDORSE your park!" He and Ellie then go on to become multimillionaire consultants as InGen's team of lawyers move to clean up any traces of the Dennis Nedry incident and the park opens to unprecedented financial success.

# ¿ May 10, 2015 19:00

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Maybe Jurassic World should remain in a constant state of viral promotion and marketing, which has been top-notch, than as an actual released film, which looks cheap and terrible.

# ¿ May 28, 2015 14:34

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Groovelord Neato posted:

They would not be smart enough to do what the movie has them do (they wouldn't have been able to outsmart Muldoon in the first movie either but this is another level). It's weird to me reading this thread because the "raptor whisperer" thing is silly/dumb as hell even if we accept they're genetic monsters, and people seem to be eating it up. It's not as bad as the super smart monster dinosaur thing though. This movie is going to be very bad.

You've heard of raptor whisperers, but get this: cyborg raptor whisperers.

This would be literally the best, most random thing...besides zombies.

# ¿ May 31, 2015 13:12

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Based on the early spoilers and reviews, it seems like the subtext of Jurassic World is that franchise reboots (personified here by the I-Rex) are creatively bankrupt, concerned only with shoving as much special effects poo poo as possible onto a screen, and the only thing they have left to rely on are slavish cargo cult callbacks to the originals to placate perenially gullible nerds, without any understanding of what made the originals great.

# ¿ Jun 10, 2015 14:15

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Spatule posted:

No, there is no consensus in the reviews (and I'm not only speaking about the ones you linked to). It spans from 1 to 4 (on a scale of 5). You'll love it or hate it is the only conclusion you can draw at this point. 12yo me would have loved it. More than 20 years alter and it's basically unwatchable.
I can't wait for the next BTTF

The backpedaling rationalizations you're hearing is the voice of lowered expectations. We spared no expense.

# ¿ Jun 10, 2015 16:11

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Hammer Floyd posted:

Am I having complete rose-coloured glasses on when I remember Jurassic Park not being a completely dumb action movie? You're always going to have to give a movie which brings Dinosaurs back to life SOME leeway, but I don't remember it being Speed levels of stupid?

Jurassic Park is just a very intelligently written movie for a summer blockbuster, which also benefits from a script that doesn't waste a single scene and Spielberg at the top of his game. I rewatched it not too long ago and it's night and day how well-paced and tight the plot is compared to a bloated-rear end Marvel movie.

# ¿ Jun 11, 2015 13:50

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

This movie was just incredibly dumb and incohesive, as if each scene were designed by whatever CGI effects shot the producers wanted to cram in and the plot/characters were designed entirely around that. The best thing I can say about Jurassic World is that it goes by quickly when you slam down three old-fashioneds beforehand, which I highly recommend to anyone still considering watching this turd.

# ¿ Jun 18, 2015 04:25

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

It's not fascinating to watch, just lame and uninteresting in every way. There's no character development, no competence in putting together a cohesive action scene, no tension. JP3 was the same level of badness and most of the same plot points in a tidier 90 minutes, so I'll give it the edge.

# ¿ Jun 18, 2015 11:46

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

# ¿ Jun 18, 2015 11:54

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Rageaholic Monkey posted:

Should I go back and rewatch JP3? As soon as I left Jurassic World, one of my first thoughts was that I enjoyed The Lost World more than Jurassic World, but I don't remember poo poo from 3. I saw it once when I came out (which was when I was a kid), don't remember it particularly impressing me, and I never watched it again after that. I own the trilogy Blu-Ray set and have for a couple years, and I've watched both the original and TLW from it, but I never rewatched 3.

Everything about JP3 kind of screams "we had huge problems with the script and had to cut and/or rewrite tons of dialogue." Really, the best thing you can say about the movie is that it's only 90 minutes long. It mirrors a lot of what would become the plot of Jurassic World in that the dinosaurs are now calculating serial killers and raptors can talk to peeps. There's even an obnoxious, overly precocious kid with floppy hair, a dino fight and a military evacuation at the end. The main positive outcome is that it kind of mercy-killed the franchise for awhile and got Sam Neill, William H. Macy and Michael Jeter another paycheck. Also, raptor dreams.

# ¿ Jun 18, 2015 17:46

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

I keep thinking Vincent D'Onofrio must be putting on all this weight to one day star in some Orson Welles biopic, but that day never comes.

# ¿ Jun 21, 2015 22:47

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

This movie has a lot of problems but I don't think the relationship between the two kids was one of them. The puzzling thing is that the older kid gets no redemptive arc whatsoever, he's just kind of a jerk throughout. And indeed, it's the Magical Spergro who tells Claire exactly what she needs to hear to defeat the ~~aliens~~ I-Rex.

# ¿ Jun 22, 2015 17:22

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

SwissCM posted:

He isn't. He's a bit of a jerk at the beginning but from the moment they run from their handler he's starts getting into the park and remembering to have a bit of fun and a sense of wonder again. Once they jump off the waterfall, he basically switches to protective mode and keeps his bro safe. It's actually really sweet.

Admittedly I was pretty drunk while watching this movie, but didn't the older kid keep them in the gyrosphere after the ride was shut down, against the little brother's objections? And didn't that basically lead to them being placed in harm's way to begin with, as well as indirectly endangering their assistant lady? It's a pretty muddled message to say that the older kid redeems himself in a sweet way when it's his actions that lead to them almost getting eaten in the first place, which at no point does he apologize for or acknowledge.

# ¿ Jun 22, 2015 18:22

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Her death is what it is because some producer several script rewrites ago thought it would be a totally cool thing to put in the movie. A few revisions later whatever bad guy that was going to happen to didn't fit anymore, but gently caress it, we already outsourced the CGI assets so we're doing it live. *snorts another line of coke*

# ¿ Jun 23, 2015 01:48

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Wade Wilson posted:

The real reason the aide died is so the aunt didn't have to. Just as how the lower class workers suffer so the 1% doesn't have to in real life.

Stretch this analysis into 1,750 more words, and a paid staff position at Salon.com might be in your future.

# ¿ Jun 23, 2015 15:07

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 15:04

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

oddium posted:

i understand reading subtext can be tricky, but when this thread can't even read the straight up text ...

Dr. Alan Grant: You're married?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Occassionally. Yeah, I'm always on the lookout for a future ex-Mrs. Malcolm.

Goldblum delivers this line so perfectly that I have to wonder if it was added in after he was cast

# ¿ Jun 25, 2015 15:02

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