December Navy Thread: Balls to four

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > December Navy Thread: Balls to four

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

Christoff posted:

I think I saw one guy try to take classes at my last command.

Yeah he dropped all of them.

Ok easy shore duty though yeah definitely

I knew one officer who was able to take some war college classes...

because she was incompetent and I did her job for her.

# ¿ Dec 11, 2014 01:13

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 08:52

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

ManMythLegend posted:

Bro, I ask you with all seriousness, have you contacted ~~an IG or at the very least a JAG?~~ a real attorney

don't waste your time with legal assistance. First tour JGs who have been lawyers for 5 minutes.

# ¿ Dec 11, 2014 17:09

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

Mr. Nice! posted:

Hey actus, need some pro bono work to fill in your downtime?

officially I'm not allowed to do pro bono...officially.

However, the ex issue...if you have the time and inclination, you could sue her. Especially if she admitted to lying about your "drinking problem." probably not worth the time though unless she has money.

# ¿ Dec 11, 2014 17:10

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

SPACE HOMOS posted:

What about pro boner instead?

# ¿ Dec 11, 2014 17:19

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

Pandasmores posted:

Oh, sorry, it wasn't meant as a blanket of "everyone in is crazy". Some are just manipulative assholes, others had no way to better their situation, and even some that saw it as a call to answer. I just see crazy most often, even out of the clinic.

Actus, is it because of possible conflict with like a case against the Navy and an office you end up with or something?

It's because I'm a state employee. I can give advice unofficially, but we aren't allowed to take on "clients" even pro bono ones because my time is the government's time, damnit. Taking on clients would mean having to go to court, deal with opposing counsel, file things etc. etc. and in theory, all my working hours time should be devoted to the interests of the state.

*goes back to posting on SA and watching Walking Dead on Amazon Prime*

Go to college, kids!

# ¿ Dec 11, 2014 18:18

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

vulturesrow posted:

I'm with MML. I think you should definitely go the congressional complaint route.

The problem with congressional complaints is that 99% of them will never be taken seriously.

Here's how most of them work:

1. Write to congressman.
2. Staffer intercepts.
3. Staffer attaches your letter to a 2 sentence form letter that basically says "My constituent is pissed off. Please do something."
4. Command JAG receives it and decodes it as "I have to pretend I give a poo poo about voters. Please do the bare minimum effort needed to pretend we give a poo poo."
5. JAG will draft a letter for the CO's signature explaining how reasonable the command's actions have been.
6. Congressman will forward you the letter.

Matter closed.

If your Congressman is on Appropriations or Armed Forces and you can actually get in touch with a member of their higher up constituent support staff, you may have better luck. (DC office only...the local offices are a whole lot of who gives a poo poo) But the dirty little secret is most Congressionals are not taken seriously, and Congress doesn't expect them to be.

# ¿ Dec 11, 2014 18:33

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

Angry Fish posted:

I'll have you know that my Congressman's family sent my family a christmas card.

If you actually KNOW your Congressman, that's a different story.

# ¿ Dec 11, 2014 19:07

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

ManMythLegend posted:

Yeah, in general Congressionals are worthless, however occasionally one gains stream and something happens because of it. There's really no reason not to do it, especially since you're probably not really worried about any more blowback from the command.

yeah, the only reason NOT to do one is fear of retaliation (which is totally against DoD policy so would never ever happen...) but sounds like you can't get much worse off.

Just don't keep your hopes up...unless you actually know your rep or luck into a staffer who cares.

(Actually...come to think of it...PM me your home state...I've had to work with some staffers on some other things...they might have friends in your reps office.)

# ¿ Dec 11, 2014 22:59

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

Mr. Nice! posted:

Of course today is the day that everyone that knows I was in the navy messages me saying "go navy you watching the game?"

Last time I went to the army navy game I was 7 months pregnant. I was ~~heckling the poo poo out of the army~~ being my usual charming self. The army fans in front of us started screaming that I would never possibly understand what it is to serve, blah blah blah. This persisted after my husband told them I had been in Iraq. Also a drunk army mom tried to assault my husband, who was in uniform. Of course what prompted it was her redneck husband saying you need to keep your woman in line, to which husband responded "you need to keep yours on a leash." Go army.

# ¿ Dec 14, 2014 00:05

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

Wow, are there really only 2 chicks in here?

I get being pissed off when someone gets pregnant on deployment. However, I also get people (like a friend of mine who was already over 30, so tick tock tick tock) who get fed up trying to do right by the Navy, take poo poo job after poo poo job with the understanding from the detailer that "ok, yeah, we know you're taking 2 back to back hardship assignments, so we'll give you a nice shore duty slot next so you can pop out a kid" only to be told "Oh, yeah, last detailer didn't make a note of that, and he just PCSd, so congratulations on your new assignment to the USS Shitbox." It would be nice if we hadn't civilianized all the nice comfy jobs that could be used to give people a break off of sea duty for any reason, kids, school, or "I'm just loving sick of being on a boat." also, optimal manning can go gently caress itself.

While I was in, I didn't have kids...but I had to spend a month doing another JO's work for him while he was taking "paternity leave." He didn't even have the goddamn kid. But, you know, special snowflake and all. (This of course is the same JO that made formal complaints against me and another female JO because of our "offensive language." The sad thing was, HE was the LEP. How he ever survived as a DIVO on a Destroyer I will never know.)

# ¿ Dec 15, 2014 20:17

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

KetTarma posted:

I just want to point out that every navy spouse sells either mary kay, shakelogy, or some other MLM scheme

we had one actually come in and try to con people with that poo poo in our command gym (NSW...they get all the fun toys). Come learn how unhealthy you are with this health test, and then buy our vitamin crap!

I think I put the fear of god into her chief husband when I cited all the navy regs and government ethics rules about seniors soliciting subordinates.

# ¿ Dec 16, 2014 14:55

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

Pandasmores posted:

Hahaha I saw some cockbags taking wedding photos outside of the hospital once in full gown and blues. Some hambeast was using weird angles, her crotchspawn running around a parking lot while mommy "worked".

Edit: Actus, you just made my day. By the way, is here some weird regulation that forbids a naval installation of using a system intended for paging doctors and emergency building-wide announcements for hotdog sales by a civilian club?

possibly...what club?

# ¿ Dec 16, 2014 16:33

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

Pandasmores posted:

Pretty much any club, civilian to enlisted.

here's the overall regs...if it's a "by our own, for our own" fundraiser, they get a lot of lattitude. (and the hambeasts readiness group generally falls under that) But if it's fundraising for a private charity, big problem

http://www.dod.mil/dodgc/defense_ethics/resource_library/deskbook/fundraising.pdf

# ¿ Dec 16, 2014 17:57

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

orange juche posted:

Thank god I live in Japan then. The japanese company that the navy contracts out will come out and pack all your things for you before they ship them.

you haven't lived until you've had a Japanese move. All your belongings tucked lovingly away in paper and cardboard, folded neatly, and organized by room, and the movers even take their shoes off while going in and out of your home...even in they are in the middle of carrying a couch. All movers should be Japanese movers.

# ¿ Dec 24, 2014 15:34

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

Congrats! List of things to do upon completing boot:

1. Buy nice car and fiance through on lot financing program. If they have a sign that says "your paycheck is your credit!" they are totally legit.
2. Marry stripper.
3. Failing to find stripper, marry uneducated teen/early 20s girl who has lived entire life within 5 miles of navy base. Impregnate as soon as possible.
4. Get ink. The more moto the better.
5. Purchase real estate in the city your detailer/recruiter promised to send you to. Whether or not you have orders, is irrelevant.
6. Send letter to your prospective CO explaining your glory. Preferably via power point. If you're at a loss for words, here's a good example. Not a boot grad, but you get the drift. The officer bar is a high one to meet.

http://cdrsalamander.blogspot.com/2012/02/sunday-funnies.html

Best of luck to you!

# ¿ Dec 27, 2014 22:22

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

Hekk posted:

My favorite part of that presentation was the spelling and grammatical errors on every slide. Being narcissistic enough to believe that a PowerPoint with fitreps and awards write ups would be something that is well received by your next command is bad enough. But not even bothering to use the spell check included in PowerPoint before you send it off is stupid on another level.

I personally liked the last slide:

"Question"

Only one? But I have so many...

Also, pretty sure your gaining command does not care that you are "high fashion" and a SWO should know that wanting more "me time" will not be viewed favorably.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2014 15:27

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

vulturesrow posted:

On the flip side, do not become known as the guy who writes well. I had one CO who has me proofread almost every email he sent anyone above his rank (O5).

you will also be tasked to be the official JAGMAN Investigation officer for every command investigation until you die. Careful, serfs...Chiefs can be tapped as IOs.

# ¿ Dec 29, 2014 01:35

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 08:52

ActusRhesus: Sep 18, 2007; "Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

poopkitty posted:

Nope. I had a barely English speaking CMC (may she rot in Hell) who had me proofread and fix every eval and SOY/SOQ package and any correspondence that had to leave the ship from the mess.

Can confirm. Just finished one here. And we have a freaking lawyer.

Usually the JAG is not the JAGMAN investigator, since they will have to advise on the results.

# ¿ Dec 29, 2014 03:38

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