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Fritz Coldcockin
Nov 7, 2005

I'm out here freezing my castagnas off




Dinosaur Gum

Eric Szyszka's Trump impression is a thing of beauty.

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thrawn527
Mar 27, 2004

Thrawn/Pellaeon
Studying the art of terrorists
To keep you safe

I tried rewatching Pirates: At World's End for this week's podcast for the first time since seeing it in the theater, and I'm 40 minutes in, and jesus christ it's so much more boring than I remember. There is no reason this movie needs to be this long. I'm only 40 minutes in, and I can come up with 30 minutes already that I could easily cut. That's not an exaggeration. This scene with them finding Jack at Davy Jones' Locker, as dumb as it is, should have been the opening, not 40 god drat minutes in. I genuinely thought it was when thinking back on the movie. I...don't think I'm gonna make it.

Is part 4 worth watching at all? This movie killed my will to live, so I never bothered with the rest of the series. This attempt at a rewatch is reminding me why. And I haven't even gotten to the Pirate Lord Council yet, which I remember being a thing that happens, for some reason.

thrawn527 fucked around with this message at 17:43 on May 20, 2020

Invalid Validation
Jan 13, 2008

DON'T DOUBLE DOWN ON YOUR STUPID SHIT JUST CAUSE YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY. YOU MAKE STUPID FUCKING DECISIONS ALL THE TIME THEN DOUBLE DOWN LIKE A PETULANT CHILD. GOD I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH SOMETIMES.

I mean, if you didnít like worlds end the next two arenít gonna change your mind. 2 and 3 are convoluted as poo poo for a kids movie. That poor kraken got got within like 5 mins of the movie.

thrawn527
Mar 27, 2004

Thrawn/Pellaeon
Studying the art of terrorists
To keep you safe

Invalid Validation posted:

I mean, if you didnít like worlds end the next two arenít gonna change your mind. 2 and 3 are convoluted as poo poo for a kids movie. That poor kraken got got within like 5 mins of the movie.

Ha, that's kind of my point. You don't see the corpse of the Kraken until exactly 1 hr in. Until then it's just conspicuously absent. (They might have briefly mentioned it's death earlier and I missed it, I forget.)

Insane.

Fritz Coldcockin
Nov 7, 2005

I'm out here freezing my castagnas off




Dinosaur Gum

thrawn527 posted:

Ha, that's kind of my point. You don't see the corpse of the Kraken until exactly 1 hr in. Until then it's just conspicuously absent. (They might have briefly mentioned it's death earlier and I missed it, I forget.)

Insane.

They do, yes. Beckett kind of jabs at Davy Jones with a "I made you kill your pet" thing early on.

Elderbean
Jun 10, 2013




I forgot how dreadful this was, but just hearing them describe it was enough for me. Saw this in theaters with my friends. We had low expectations but wanted to get away from the dorms, we were shocked by how dull and meandering it was and spent the whole night making GBS threads on it.

Marin Karin
Jul 29, 2011

What are you, compared to my magnificence?


I'm a 90's kid and saw this movie in theaters. It, alongside X-Men 3 and Spider-Man 3, helped teach me that big-budget movies can be bad. Even from franchises I liked.

AceOfFlames
Oct 9, 2012


I know I said this a hundred times but I will never tire of the Jesse Ventura impressions.

Calaveron
Aug 7, 2006



So whatís the reason they killed the kraken off? Budgetary restraints? Wrote themselves into a corner where they couldnít fit the noodle monster along the toilet flush of a final battle?

Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008

You pick up the nugget of URANIUM and...

Oh that was so stupid. Why would you do that?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AJdn1qkIEw

Catfishenfuego
Oct 21, 2008

Moist With Indignation


My only memories of the third Pirates movie are the cool opening scene and the fact that they bring in all these cool pirate kings for the final battle and then have them do literally nothing whatsoever.

SkeletonHero
Sep 7, 2010

Skeleton War 2020


Calaveron posted:

So whatís the reason they killed the kraken off? Budgetary restraints? Wrote themselves into a corner where they couldnít fit the noodle monster along the toilet flush of a final battle?

There was only room for one big monster in the script, and the franchise was long overdue for A GIANT WOMAN!

MariusLecter
Sep 5, 2009

NI MUERTE NI MIEDO


Amazed at the Boomer Energy the WHM guys have for The Loony Tunes Show in the Space Jam ep.

Jiro
Jan 12, 2004



thrawn527 posted:

Is part 4 worth watching at all? This movie killed my will to live, so I never bothered with the rest of the series. This attempt at a rewatch is reminding me why. And I haven't even gotten to the Pirate Lord Council yet, which I remember being a thing that happens, for some reason.

IMO Pirates 4 is boring as gently caress, new director, color palate gets somewhat more grey, it's a criminal waste of a badass looking Blackbeard played by Ian McShane, a waste of a female pirate antagonist played by Penelope Cruz, and none of them are good straight men foils for Johnny Depp who goes into overdrive on his Sparrow bullshit, and the movie somehow is SO loving BORING. The 5th movie is marginally better in neat physical set pieces, interesting macguffin, and new cursed drowned ghost Spanish sailors.

DoubleCakes
Jan 14, 2015



I just love how Melr0210 has expanded the WHM lore by whole counties. Their Aaron Spelling impression has quickly become one of their best, and their Billy voice wraps up their Melrose episodes and a dorky dumb bow!

Calaveron
Aug 7, 2006



I can't imagine being perpetually wet in mostly leather wardrobes in tropical locales caked in dirt and grime makeup and filthy teeth prosthetics was very comfortable for the pirates of the Caribbean cast

Calaveron
Aug 7, 2006



thrawn527 posted:

I tried rewatching Pirates: At World's End for this week's podcast for the first time since seeing it in the theater, and I'm 40 minutes in, and jesus christ it's so much more boring than I remember. There is no reason this movie needs to be this long. I'm only 40 minutes in, and I can come up with 30 minutes already that I could easily cut. That's not an exaggeration. This scene with them finding Jack at Davy Jones' Locker, as dumb as it is, should have been the opening, not 40 god drat minutes in. I genuinely thought it was when thinking back on the movie. I...don't think I'm gonna make it.

Is part 4 worth watching at all? This movie killed my will to live, so I never bothered with the rest of the series. This attempt at a rewatch is reminding me why. And I haven't even gotten to the Pirate Lord Council yet, which I remember being a thing that happens, for some reason.

Pirates 4 at least has the decency to be considerably shorter than 3 with better pacing and it has Geoffrey Rush just going beyond ham

Crowetron
Apr 29, 2009



After the first Pirates, any time Geoffrey Rush is not on screen, you can skip ahead.

clown shoes
Jul 17, 2004

Nothing but clowns down here.

Whenever Geoffrey Rush is not on screen, all the other characters should be asking, "Where's Geoffrey Rush?"

thrawn527
Mar 27, 2004

Thrawn/Pellaeon
Studying the art of terrorists
To keep you safe

I watched Pirates 4, and I've gotta say, it didn't suck. At the very least, it's a fun enough pirate adventure, and not an epic "fate of the world" battle with the Pirate Lord Council involved. The mermaid love story is completely pointless (did she drown that dude at the end? Eh, who cares.), and it wasn't great (Ian McShane wasn't given nearly enough to do), but it was fun enough, and, like I said, was what 2 and 3 should have been: just another adventure, not trying to build some larger grand myth. If this had been Pirates 2, I would probably still consider the franchise pretty decent, instead of the absolute turd fest it was after 2 and 3. ("Don't free Calypso! You don't know what horrors the Goddess of the Sea will unleash! She will...start a storm that will go away the moment the battle with that one bad guy is done, and then will gently caress off, never to be seen again!") No Pirate King, no Pirate Bible, or whatever the hell that was. Just Pirates loving around looking for poo poo.

And yeah, Geoffery Rush was awesome. And had a (thank loving god) linear storyline, which was needed after whatever the hell happened in parts 2 and 3. I had fun, and I'll watch part 5 now. Looking forward to seeing what the guys think of it.

Doobie Keebler
May 9, 2005



Pirates 4 was based on the book On Stranger Tides. It was pretty good and that really helped the movie. It's been a long time since I've read it so I'm not sure how closely it follows the plot but at least the framework is there.

END ME SCOOB
Mar 27, 2007

Like, I shoulda known the dog would smell it, man. I was way too high to bury him deep enough! I guess we gotta do this, huh? Alright, Scoob, get ready for my full power! DON'T HOLD BACK, PAL!

ZOINKS!

Doobie Keebler posted:

Pirates 4 was based on the book On Stranger Tides. It was pretty good and that really helped the movie. It's been a long time since I've read it so I'm not sure how closely it follows the plot but at least the framework is there.

Not really at all other than "fountain of youth and there's a voodoo character". It kinda pissed away the name and poisoned the well for future adaptations. It's pissed me off ever since, because that book owns.

sexpig by night
Sep 8, 2011






yea On Stranger Tides is great but that movie has nothing to do with it other than literally involving the fountain of youth

teen witch
Oct 9, 2012




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJdA7dwx6-4

Memechat reminded me of this little gem

Rody One Half
Feb 18, 2011



So I think 1 is a great movie, 2 and 3 have good stuff but don't hold together as movies.

On Stranger Tides is one of the worst theater experiences I've ever had. That movie is dull as DIRT. I didn't know it was based on a book, but that missionary guy being the actual main character makes sense. OST also destroyed the notion I had that focusing in on Jack and Barbossa would improve things, because it turns out you NEED an actual grounded center like Knightley and Bloom to make it not completely and utterly meandering.


They uh, have something like that in 5 but boy. BOY. It's STUPID as SIN.




Anyway, AD is Jetsons. Possible animation month floated: Rover Dangerfield, Rockadoodle, Scooby/Jetsons WWE stuff, DuckTales movie. Put that poo poo in my hands.

Marin Karin
Jul 29, 2011

What are you, compared to my magnificence?


Removing the straight man for more Sparrow antics reminds me of an old WHM bit, "it's like Seinfeld without Jerry. You can't just have Kramer!"

Cael
Feb 2, 2004

I get this funky high on the yellow sun.



https://twitter.com/WHMPodcast/stat...3706742784?s=20

Baka-nin
Jan 25, 2015



Haven't listened to the fourth Pirate episode yet, but I'll be interested to see what they make of it. I'm in the minority who kinda liked the fourth one, it wasn't great and I agree with a lot of the common criticisms, but I still like it more than 2 and 3. I think it's a very distant second for me, though I didn't bother seeing the last one, which I get the impression attracted a few more fans at the end, even with franchise fatigue reaching the sea floor.

Fritz Coldcockin
Nov 7, 2005

I'm out here freezing my castagnas off




Dinosaur Gum


Daddy Gibbs

Arson Daily
Aug 11, 2003

FR8 4 LYFE

Fun Shoe

Goddamn I'm so hype for Don's Plum!

admataY
Oct 16, 2008


On one hand I want the world to get back to normal. But on the other hand , that would probably mean no more Melrose Billy impressions.
It is a dilemma.

GoutPatrol
Oct 17, 2009

Coal Jobs for the Coal God


Nap Ghost

admataY posted:

On one hand I want the world to get back to normal. But on the other hand , that would probably mean no more Melrose Billy impressions.
It is a dilemma.

I would gladly up another Patreon tier to keep these going. I don't know if they would be able to keep it at more than a monthly thing.

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003


Yams Fan

admataY posted:

On one hand I want the world to get back to normal. But on the other hand , that would probably mean no more Melrose Billy impressions.
It is a dilemma.

If the Don's Plumb episode is any indication, I would not be surprised if Billy bleeds into everything

Shirec
Jul 29, 2009

How to cock it up, Fig. I



Fallen Rib

admataY posted:

On one hand I want the world to get back to normal. But on the other hand , that would probably mean no more Melrose Billy impressions.
It is a dilemma.

They've mentioned on their Twitter account that they'd want to keep doing it when we open back up, more likely it just wouldn't be as frequent. The Billy impression is a hall of famer A tier.

MariusLecter
Sep 5, 2009

NI MUERTE NI MIEDO


Downloading from headgum is weird. You have to click play on the player or the download will just give an network error.

Is that just me?

Arson Daily
Aug 11, 2003

FR8 4 LYFE

Fun Shoe

#stevesthousandollartape #releasethetapessteve

END ME SCOOB
Mar 27, 2007

Like, I shoulda known the dog would smell it, man. I was way too high to bury him deep enough! I guess we gotta do this, huh? Alright, Scoob, get ready for my full power! DON'T HOLD BACK, PAL!

ZOINKS!

Possibly relevant so nobody is caught off guard in an hour:

https://twitter.com/headgum/status/1267644809898049538

Pops Mgee
Aug 20, 2009

This is the worst day of my life.


I see the 5th pirates movie is not streaming on disney plus. Is it on any other streaming service, or am I going to have to pay real money to rent this trash before the episode drops tonight not tonight apparantly which is totally cool.

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.



Arson Daily posted:

#stevesthousandollartape #releasethetapessteve

FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS for a tape

Iím very sad for chris for missing such a dylan heavy episode

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Rody One Half
Feb 18, 2011



"I prefer Transformers wholesale to this" oh my god Chris

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