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The second one had wasted Donnie Yen and Racist Vampire Ron Perlman, I remember now. And the knifegun that Del Toro drew in a margin of one of his notebooks, so thats going in there too  E: I predict Gallow Walkers is this year, and there's a comment about it being not horror enough for the Spooktacular Firstborn fucked around with this message at 23:23 on Nov 7, 2017 |
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Nov 7, 2017 22:57
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All I remember about Blade: Trinity is proto-Deadpool, Bald Sexy No Charisma Dracula, and Blade being so low energy that it's just reaction shots of him going "Hnnnnggg" and arching that one eyebrow usually reserved for the racist henchman comments* WHM was talking about in Snipes movies. There's always the one. * - Alternatively, henchman that appear to know karate and challenge Snipes to a direct karate fight sometimes get this look, too.
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Nov 12, 2017 15:07
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God, that's true. You want to remove that Anne Rice mystique and elegance of vampires for sure? HHH in his weird hunched muscleman pose, mouth breathing with a set of fake teeth. The shoulders on this human being
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Nov 12, 2017 15:15
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What was the episode next week again?
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Dec 7, 2017 22:54
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Coheed and Camembert posted:Hard to Kill, featuring notorious supervillain and sex pest Steven Seagal. One night someone said randomly in a CD thread how terrible Seagal was, and I went into a rabbit hole for around 3~ hours looking up all the terrible things he's done. It was an amazing ride. I think the original comment that spurred it was in reference to the "Seagal Vision" camera filter the reality show uses where he is a deputy (???) tagalong on what is basically Cops. The "Seagal Vision" kicks in inexplicably when he sees a minority and Steven whispers, "he's up to something". Then it'll cut to the gym, fat Steven Seagal is doing wrist throws on them and stuff, and in an confessional way a sweaty cop will say to the camera, "Steven just has a sixth sense about this..." It's a hilarious show. I will maintain that Out For Justice is a legit action movie.
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Dec 8, 2017 04:54
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Baka-nin posted:Haven't really paid much attention to the guy apart from the Undersiege films and hearing some rumours, could you give a rundown of his Vanity Fair posted:One day, an executive walked into Seagal's trailer and found Hollywood's reigning manly man... weeping. 'Oh, I'm reading this script,' Seagal explained, still misty. 'It's the most incredible script I've ever read.' He has lied and said he was homeless in Japan at age 13 and trained under Aikido's founder, whose family denied the claim. He has reported to have helped train CIA agents in Japan, which his wife denies. He for some reason lies and says he is Italian even though his mother was Jewish and his father was Irish. He claims to have fought the Japanese Yakuza with the help of the Italian Mafia. He says auction houses hire him to appraise ancient swords, specifically. Quite a few accusations of sexual abuse. ... He takes credit for some UFC victories, claiming that he taught specifically the kick that Anderson Silva used to win one of his matches, and went on Jimmy Kimmel and claimed Lyoto Machida was his student. ... He refers to himself as "Lord Steven" or "The Great One". He owns a bulletproof jacket that looks like a kimono. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93uyDLhTQYQ https://music.avclub.com/run-the-jewels-on-the-brutality-music-and-magic-of-st-1798274718 E: This says everything: http://fightland.vice.com/blog/the-glimmer-man-under-siege-the-life-and-times-of-steven-seagal Firstborn fucked around with this message at 07:14 on Dec 8, 2017 |
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Dec 8, 2017 07:08
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Try Zoo
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Dec 8, 2017 21:19
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The weekend that I went to go see The Punisher in my fat kid shorts with my brother, my mother and sister went to see Man On Fire. Walked out the movie discussing the revenge plots, and when I saw Man On Fire when it hit home release, I felt pretty dumb. I wonder if Man On Fire holds up, because that was a hell of a flick at the time.
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Dec 8, 2017 21:41
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I watched Hard to Kill this afternoon. Yeah, it was real bad. The whole movie is about him avenging his wife, and after he sleeps with that nurse he knew for two days there's a scene where he looks at his wedding band, then looks at himself in the mirror and gives himself a little disapproving head shake. Also the blood bank line.
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Dec 11, 2017 00:10
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I've been watching every movie this season before they air the episode, but Pottersville just doesn't look very fun.
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Dec 18, 2017 17:50
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Whenever Shannon is in the store with his assistant and they are stocking shelves and stuff, the lighting and weird shots remind me of like... Pushing Daisies. That was the one with the piemaker, right? It looks like that. Ron Perleman raising a toast at the end to him made me hope he told him to shut the gently caress up. I also low how there was conflict when Ian Mcshane's actual hunter got involved when the clear answer is... just stop being the Bigfoot. At least for a while. He treats it like he is Batman or something. Everybody watching tv on tiny, tiny little black & white sets, but there's also iphones and poo poo in the movie. I thought it was a period piece at first. I'm trying to talk around all the furry poo poo. It's weird because it's played for laughs a little and then the movie stops to tell you that it's fine. This movie also lets you know absolutely nothing about it's characters at all. There's a supercut video of "man comes home early to find wife engaged in adultery", and it's basically movie shorthand for the main male character to get his poo poo together (get rid of his poo poo wife and do something crazy like... move into a fraternity, etc.) and that the wife is a BIIIIIIITCH, everybody. My only legit laugh was drunk Bigfoot practicing his roar before the first night out, and he kind of leans back real shakily in the door before he goes.. "Ra...aaaaaaghhhhhrr!" Also the ending suggests that there will be Pottersville 2: Revengeance now that there's a real bigfoot out there. Firstborn fucked around with this message at 15:08 on Dec 19, 2017 |
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Dec 19, 2017 14:59
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The whimsical music when he is making the costume I found really out of place until the guys pointed out how terrifying it would be otherwise. It's a dumb movie, and Dangle is farting all over the movie. They are taking a break and coming back in two weeks with something, right? What was it again?
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Dec 21, 2017 16:15
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I kind of liked Constantine from what I remember. The best possible scenario is more jokes about the guy living in his guest house who signs him up for movies he doesn't want to do BRIAN! Brian, did you tell the director that I'm English, Brian? I'm not doing an English accent, BRIAN, nobody liked it in Dracula!
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Dec 21, 2017 16:32
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Marin Karin posted:It'd give them a good avenue to talk poo poo about Max Landis, noted Garbage Person. Yes, Orcs are frequently coded as black people in fantasy. Yes, it sucks.
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Dec 22, 2017 02:46
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Firstborn posted:Yes, Orcs are frequently coded as black people in fantasy. Yes, it sucks. Actually saw the movie last night, and they aren't really done that way. It's weird, I think they may be a Muslim stand-in as far as allegories go? In the intro, the Ork listens to some rap music from some "gangsta" (Smith's words) neighbors, and comments all non-plussed "yeah great music" (it's some old Snoop track). Then later he is listening to heavy metal music and says it's one of the greatest love songs of his people. They go to a club later and it's more a Heavy Metal club than anything... ... But there is a line about Orks fighting Humans 2,000 years ago in Russia, and there are some Orks wearing track suits and chains... BUT the main conflict involves the Ork potentially siding with his fellow Orks instead of his current police partner in a pinch, and there's some "are you an ork first or a police guy first". It's a confusing movie. Will Smith is kind of sleepy in it, but he does do his little yelp while he is getting slammed around by CGI creatures a little, so there's that. If it was like a mini-series I would've enjoyed it more. The best parts are the one liners hinting at the idea that there really was some LOTR poo poo going down in medieval times, instead of say a Shadowrun-esque/District 9y "and then one day all these creatures appeared and fought for equal rights" or whatever.
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Dec 23, 2017 15:17
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General Dog posted:Black Panther was fine, but the guys were a little embarrassing in their amount of praise imo. I had this feeling, too. I was thinking their On Screens tend to be the stuff that ages the worst.
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Feb 23, 2018 19:17
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*in a trampoline salesman's voice* Hey, I just watched Death Wish 5, blammo. The sick way in which Bronson's character, Paul Deathwish, sets up for the badguys in the movie is really heinous. It's weird to watch him smile wryly to himself while watching a character burn alive in front of him after we spend 5~ minutes humanizing the very same villain
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Feb 26, 2018 02:56
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I'm happy they brought up Freddy Flakes lovely home life like I mentioned earlier. It's pretty bizarre to see how nice his relationship with his wife and stuff is, really humanize him, then murder him with a rated r home alone gag.
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Feb 28, 2018 15:42
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I've listened since like episode ... 20? and only recently I started to get annoyed with the shilling. It's not a big deal, I just all of a sudden had the impression that I was tired of the patreon ads. I'm also subbed to them, and getting 1:30 previews of stuff behind a paywall pop up is kind of lame, too. I still love the show, it's still the best of it's kind.
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Aug 9, 2018 22:25
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Evil Mastermind posted:No love for Brainscan? I've listened to this one at least 5 times, JEREMY. SEND HIM THE DISCCCCC.
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Oct 21, 2018 04:07
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I remember flipping past channels as a kid and landing on what was probably Wishmaster 2 on Cinemax. There's one particular scene I remember vividly where a prisoner wishes that his lawyer would go gently caress himself. Cut to the lawyer talking to another potential client, and basically acting out his dong stretching into his butthole inside of his pants RIGHT NOW OH GOD. Edit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mtu3D471gK8 Worse than I remember
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Oct 31, 2018 04:55
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What podcast app do you guys use to get your patreon episodes? I used to use Podbean, but I guess it's not compatible. I really don't know how to add it to Stitcher.
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Nov 9, 2018 19:32
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The Steve-less episodes were always the least funny to me. I've yet to listen to this one, though. The best thing they did was make him a regular-degular.
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Nov 28, 2018 00:27
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Evil Mastermind posted:What was the other one they mentioned, about the guy bankrupting himself for his annual haunted house? Nah, the bit on Dark Tourism is basically... you pay him to kidnap you and torture you. It showed an older couple looking at the promotional material he put out, showing Fear Factor-esque poo poo like pouring buckets of roaches on your face and stuff, but he also does stuff like... waterboarding, drowning, beating, you only eat dog food for sustenance, he collects vomit and throws it on you, animal feces and guts etc. He has this idea that it's therapy like to get your rear end kicked in this way, and apparently has a long wait list of people waiting to be hosed. Dark Tourism follows the guy a bit, he gets picked up and is asked to wear a diaper etc. and get ready to get his rear end kicked. I think there's a safe word. The guy lasted a few hours only if I remember right, and outside of the torture he acts very respectful and calm but is probably getting off to it. Also I believe it cost A LOT of money. However, in promos, it's said you pay in ... dog food to pay the owner's dogs. Uh-huh. There's waivers to sign. Also there's a Haunted House here in New Orleans where a guy followed you around with a chainsaw. Founded in part by the lead singer of Pantera. They take the "chain" off the saw, but it is running and hard to tell when the blade part is spinning. Here's a video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvCzXSjujkE The promo stuff I see shows a lot of people in costumes and other poo poo, but the bits they actually showed was mostly just torture. No LARPing about vampires eating you or anything. This also says it only lasts 8 hours, but that wasn't the impression I got from the Dark Tourist thing, either. E: It seems that on their YT you can find full videos of people's experiences. Firstborn fucked around with this message at 23:47 on Dec 2, 2018 |
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Dec 2, 2018 23:39
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You can go see videos of people getting choked and bloody noses and stuff on their official YT. The guy who runs it really, really wants you to think he is other a well-adjusted individual, but I find it so very hard to loving believe.
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Dec 2, 2018 23:55
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Across all the great impressions, I have to say the one that makes me laugh before I even understand the loving joke is Nick Nolte. Andrew's Nick Nolte is a thing of beauty. rrrrrkkkkrrrreeeeYOUR FUCKIN GRAAAANDMOTHER
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Dec 14, 2018 15:46
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I legit like Ninja Scroll even though I haven't seen it since I was 16, and I know how gross it is. They've mentioned it a few times; Steve and Eric have seen it I guess and reference -that scene-* a lot. *There's a ninja woman whose specialty is that she has a poisonous vagina, and is sent Black Widow style to seduce and kill important targets. One of the villains is a giant man with stone-like flesh who drinks blood and is super tough. Until he starts raping the ninja woman, then he dies.* I swear there's some parts in the anime that aren't super gross, like when the main character headbutts a guy to death. It takes quite a few headbutts.
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Dec 15, 2018 05:42
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How on EARTH did Uncle Paulie from the Rocky series not make it onto Loser Mt. Rushmore??
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Dec 18, 2018 23:10
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Was listening to an old episode where the guys were trying on their Trump impression, was terrible and way off, and then they all admitted that they need to work on their voice in the unlikely event he gets in. I was reminded because of what the guy said above about Bass & Rankin and not following through. Stephen says a lot of, "we'll find a way, next year, X is happening". I know the wiki has a running tab on "stay tuned". Also some movies they admit are totally fine years before, and then they eventually become episodes. 
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Dec 21, 2018 08:29
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"Eric sounds like a bemused wizard" is burned into my brain, btw
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Dec 22, 2018 05:13
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Mods, please change my name to Hogwolf
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Dec 23, 2018 14:29
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 clearly im biased , but Venom being worst of 2018 seems... a little harsh. It's not a bad movie. Tom Hardy is basically playing two roles, and he's having so much fun in it that it's kind of infectious. It had problems, but WORST? Must've been slim pickings.
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Dec 29, 2018 05:16
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HEY POPPY? HOW COME VICE ISN'T IN THE WORST OF 2018?
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Dec 29, 2018 23:08
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Beer_Suitcase posted:Anyone else getting a dead link on the Patreon for Serenity? What was the nod?
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May 17, 2019 23:52
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I don't have tweetbook, but can someone let Steve know that the director of Jason Goes to Hell is legit making a movie about Creighton Duke, aka Jason's Van Helsing?
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May 27, 2019 00:51
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Favorites in no order: Brainscan Devil's Advocate Stay Tuned Hard Target Timecop CHUD Chopping Mall Spawn Face/OFF If there's a Van Damme, Christopher Lambert, Michael Caine, Belushi, Sly Stallone, Keanu, Any New York Actor - gonna be a good time. I'll say it again, if you listening to the classic catalogue, listen to any where Steven is on. He is the glue that makes everything stick together. Andrew matches his energy whenever he is on, and when he isn't, he's riffing to dadjokes in Eric and obscure film in-jokes with Chris. Both of these are real good, but Steve's the pin. Eric's anticomedy where he's burning time pretending not to understand something can get tedious without someone to bounce that off of, "wait did you mean this sex act?" ... Chris can be low energy at times and makes the other guys laugh with film refs, if you get them they are good but require some background. Post by the Sajdak Gang Firstborn fucked around with this message at 16:42 on Jul 29, 2019 |
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Jul 29, 2019 16:38
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I'm a little cautious about the Fury Road one. I think I'm just really protective of that movie, and didn't really feel that way until I read that list despite the avatar. It occurs to me that there isn't too many that I'd say that about.
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Nov 26, 2019 22:36
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I kept waiting for the episode to start in earnest. So much jumping around. So many missed great bits in the movie. No callbacks allowed because this particular guest wouldn't recognize them. Andrew and Steve were able to match his energy, but Eric and especially Cabin really faded in the background. I felt cheated out of the ep almost, and then to hear the next one is a live ep... 
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Dec 7, 2019 06:35
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FistEnergy posted:lotta movies lately I don't care about. bummer
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Feb 14, 2020 04:04
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I don't see any POTC episodes anywhere. Where are you seeing this? Just catching up since the pandemic, and the latest prime episode I see is Sleazebag Vampires and the latest patreon is Wilford Brimley vs. The Thing. Someone saying "the first one is up" is throwing me off. Firstborn fucked around with this message at 23:03 on May 8, 2020 |
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May 8, 2020 23:00
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