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Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


I just listened to their episode on Mystery Men and I loved it because so much of the internet seems to consider it a cult classic or a hidden gem, it's a wretched movie and it was great to hear them mercilessly tear it apart.

MisterBibs posted:

Has WHM actually had anyone on from the movies they've ripped? It seems kinda unfair to say "they wouldn't backpedal" if they haven't brought anyone on.

They don't really do guests because the podcast is just about them making fun of movies and having a good time. They aren't a bunch of aspiring stand-up comedians trying to use it as their foot in the door like certain other bad movie podcasts so they don't really have any reason to invite celebrities on in the first place, which is one of the reasons I like them so much.

Plus based on their anecdotes they already seem to have a background in film and television (Conan interns, working at Lifetime, commercial filmmakers hired by a summer camp, etc.) so they're doing fine on their own.

Sleeveless fucked around with this message at 02:01 on Jan 8, 2015

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Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


KingsPawn posted:

When I heard their take on Sabotage, I had to find the bit where Arnold calls the guy fat and walks away. Had to take a minute after watching it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2ArhF8i61o

Man, I rember at least one person here defending Sabotage as a grim portrayal of the war on drugs :laffo:

Also this makes me sad that they don't put as many clips from the movie in their shows as they used to.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


JediTalentAgent posted:

Sabotage is a fun 'background' movie that you can have playing while trying to put together a computer, build a model kit, watch a better movie on your iPad, etc.

It's a movie I agree with the concept that Arnold was entirely wrong for. I could see Willis or maybe even someone like Danny Trejo in that part. Also, I think the film would have been better with an actual extra subplot or something to thicken up the story. I still think you cut out the first part of the film and move it to near the end of the movie where the guy is spilling his guts to the detective, it maybe makes it would have helped.

I still sort of think if we started off the film with just video footage of the interviews with Arnold and his team, the team getting put back together, and we're left for a huge portion of the film with not knowing fully what happened, if anything, except for the insinuation they may or may not have had something to do with the missing money and a guy was killed on their team. Did they really take the money? They may be scumbags, but are they 'honest' scumbags? Is the DEA leaking that rumor to the cartel and using Arnold's team as bait to lure them out? Was there ever any money? Are they being hunted down for/by someone else? Etc.

Just watch End of Watch, it's written and directed by the same guy and is also a movie about law enforcement and the war on drugs but is actually a good movie.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


The Spawn episode of We Hate Movies has the most cringeworthy guest host, all he does is talk about action figures and parrot Simpsons quotes.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


halokiller posted:

Holy poo poo, I couldn't stop laughing at the Seventh Son episode. The Jeff Bridges impersonation throughout the episode was perfect and once it got the rant about "loving witches" at the halfway point, I had to stop. Couldn't breathe at all.

I loved their realization that their Jeff Bridges impersonation is also their Yukon Cornelius impersonation and their Bill Cosby impersonation.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


DoombatINC posted:

There's a new mailbag out! This one needs the same neon-on-bricks We Hate Movies Nights logo that they proposed for Blame it on Rio.



If you're not following WHM on your social network of choice you're missing out.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


I think they're still as good as ever. I figure they're at the point where they've probably burned through all the movies they know about which is why my favorite newer episodes are the listener requests or any other time where they ditch the 10 year rule to talk about movies they want to talk about or they branch out to new material like Animation Damnation.

The Duke posted:

I liked how they used clever songs as intros and didn't give a poo poo.

Sadly this happens to just about every podcast when they get big enough to have an actual audience and sponsors (RIP My Brother My Brother And Me's Abba soundtrack).

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


How did you not notice the diiiiick?!

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


Having been listening to the other bad movie podcasts out there after finishing up the WHM archives, something like the odd tired Arnie impersonations is still nothing compared to poo poo like The Flophouse thinking that the one extra-nasally guy singing a terrible improvised song every episode is comedy gold or the entirety of How Did This Get Made's bullshit.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


I'm surprised that their discussion of terrible animated openings didn't include Four Rooms, which basically spoils the events of entire movie in animated digest form over the opening credits.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


User-Friendly posted:

Next week is definitely Teen Witch 2, right?

Top that!

Teen Witch is fairly well-trodden ground as far as bad movies go but I still want them to do it. Also The Worst Witch if only for the inevitable Tim Curry impersonations.

Detective No. 27 posted:

Been listening to this since I ran out of Mike and Tom Eat Snacks. It's pretty good! Their John Depp impression sounds like a Robin Williams impression. Probably gonna listen to Mrs. Doubtfire after I finish Secret Window.

The tangent they go on about a theoretical sequel to Mrs. Doubtfire that's a psychological thriller about the daughter as an adult being unable to form relationships with men because she expects them to peel their face off to reveal her dad is one of the best things they've ever done.

e. One of my favorite things about WHM is that they're fairly progressive, socially-aware guys while still being really funny about it and the Mrs. Doubtfire review is a great example of that.

Sleeveless fucked around with this message at 03:21 on Apr 30, 2015

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


Their Zelda Runinstein impression wasn't nearly as funny as they seemed to think it was but I'd glad that they gave her credit for her AIDS work because in addition to being awesome as a human being the pictures of her with hairy 80s gay dudes are just the :3: thing.


Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


Tender Bender posted:

The Mortal Kombat episode is amazing if you find the Christopher Lambert as Raiden impression funny.

Hehh hehh hehh...

Their joke about how every movie should open with the title being yelled out still makes me laugh every now and then when I think of it.

:byodood: 12 YEARS A SLAAAAAAAVE!!!

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


precision posted:

Sucker Punch is legitimately a great movie though.

The Flophouse bashing Sucker Punch is second only to them completely missing the satire in Robocop 2014 in terms of sheer consternation at how a show run by writers for The Daily Show can be so bad at recognizing politics in movies.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


The Vosgian Beast posted:

Hey, WHM snagged an interview with Gilbert Gottfried.

He was really good. I loved the fact that like half the episode was them making jokes about The Twilight Zone.

Listening to him talk about bad movies makes me sad a little sad that USA Up All Night was a little before my time so I never got to see him hosting.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


Mojo Threepwood posted:

That was a fantastic episode, I especially liked the Cookie Monster and slavery parts.

I thought it was really funny even if the urban legend about Cookie Monster not being allowed to eat cookies anymore is literally a decade old and still going strong.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


JT Smiley posted:

It's not that crazy that some people don't remember Pro Stars. It's a flash in the pan show on the network with the weakest Saturday line up. Honestly, the only NBC cartoons I remember are Pro Stars and Wish Kid and I'm 31.

Even if you aren't a child of the 80s/90s, weird cartoon series based on real-life sports figures and musicians kept going well into the 00s. At one point the Backstreet Boys had a cartoon where they were superheroes, Andre 3000 was leading a team of teenagers, and just last year Scooby-Doo teamed up with John Cena.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


JT Smiley posted:

Wait, the Backstreet Boys really did have a cartoon? I remember the Burger King toys they had of them as heroes but never knew it was based on a real show.

My bad, it was a comic book and not a cartoon.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


Coupon code: HATE :black101:

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


All good suggestions. I also want them to do The Master of Disguise because them dismantling terrible "family" movies are some of my favorite episodes and hoo boy is that a movie that is ugly and offensive on just about every narrarive, structural, and moral level.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


The Master of Disguise is seriously just baffling and gross to the point where describing it to somebody who has never seen it makes you sound like a madman. And not in a cool trippy Don Bluth/Studio Ghibli/Return to Oz way but in a "guy jerking off through his pants outside of a playground while muttering to himself" way:

-the movie is 80 minutes long. Of these 10 minutes are the credits, which are full of outtakes that often feature entire sets, characters, and plotlines that weren't in the actual movie.
-the main character has a fetish for giant butts because they remind him of his mom's butt. This is explicitly stated multiple times and is a plot point. In one of the aforementioned deleted scenes he has to fight a squad of women in skintight dresses who shake their giant asses at him as a form of attack.
-his main form of fighting people is to slap them while shouting "who's your daddy?" over and over. He learns this from fighting a steampunk combat robot that is actually a midget inside of a mannequin, who at one point climbs out and beats up Dana Carvey as revenge for taking so many hits over the course of the movie.
-he learns how to channel his disguise powers by dressing up in brownface, playing Kenny G on a plastic dollarstore recorder, and then making out with a snake while babbling in an offensive Indian accent
-one of his disguises is a Scarface impression. He uses this to sneak into a party, ask a waiter for "a little weiner and some tiny nuts", and breakdance. When he's caught by the villain's henchmen at the party he evades them by dressing up like Quint from Jaws, doing a parody of the Indianapolis speech from the movie, and then when he gets caught again dresses up like a giant cow pie and is stepped on by the henchmen.
-Brent Spiner plays the villain, who kidnaps Dana Carvey's dad and forces him to use his disguise powers to steal historical artifacts while dressed up as C-list celebrities like Jesse Ventura and Jessica Simpson. He does this by kidnapping Dana Carvey's mom and feeding her caramel corn laced with mind-control potion. There's a running gag where he farts loudly every time he laughs.
-the imdb quotes page





Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


DoombatINC posted:

The 70 minute runtime with 10 minutes of credits makes it sound like this would be a lean movie, but the weird cuts and total lack of continuity hints at some five hour epic that was filmed where this was the only remotely presentable material. I wonder if all the original footage still exists, or if the ground beneath it gave way as Hell could not bare to be without its purest creation.

When I was growing up we actually owned the DVD because I had a younger sibling who inexplicably loved the movie, the DVD not only has a bunch of deleted scenes but Carvey actually introduces each one in-character as The Turtle Guy.

There's an entire alternate ending where instead of showing up as President Bush and saving the day he shows up as Captain America and saves the day by throwing his shield at Brent Spiner when he tries to run away.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


User-Friendly posted:

I feel like next week has to be Dennis the Menace, right? It's been a while since they got mad at a lovely kid.

Even by the standards of Home Alone knockffs that movie was terrible. Even as a kid I recognized how completely justified Mr Wilson was in being mad at the little bastard for almost killing him multiple times and how inappropriately creepy the child-abducting hobo villain that Lloyd played was.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


thrawn527 posted:

Yeah, I watched it because it was billed in Netflix as a documentary talking to comedians about hecklers, which sounded like an interesting premise. But then I realized Kennedy was the host, and I should have bailed. And then the movie kept shifting focus more and more to him. And by the end he was finding reviewers who savaged the film and trying to make them feel bad about it.

It was one of the worst things I've ever watched.

It's one of the most unintentionally funny things I've ever seen. It's totally worth watching even it will make you respect a lot of comedians a lot less after watching them whine about how movie critics are just secretly jealous of how great they are.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


The Vosgian Beast posted:

I don't know, the movie might work nowadays.

I mean, the Iraq War turned out so well!

What's really great in retrospect is that the movie's message is "even if you don't agree with the president you have to respect and support him because :911:" yet the movie's target audience are the ones who pulled a complete 180 on that sentiment the momet Obama got elected.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


Firstborn posted:

I think I get it confused with Heavyweights, that one about the fat camp with young Ben Stiller essentially playing the same role from Dodgeball but with less sexual innuendo. "Lunch today has been cancelled due to lack of hustle".
Also a fat kid getting really sentimental about go karts. Something like, "riding one is the only time I get to go fast".

That movie was written by Judd Apatow, which is probably why it holds up a lot better than other movies of its ilk from that era.

It was also kind of cool to see as a kid just because all the token fat kid actors you saw in every other early-90s kids summer camp and sports movie are all in the same movie together.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!



You know it takes a lot of effort for a movie in 2005 to have worse CGI than a movie from 1994 but by golly they did it.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


The Vosgian Beast posted:

Holy poo poo, Animation Damnation is doing Pokemon.

And it's an episode I clearly remember, how :psyduck:

I thought I remembered this episode at first but apparently there were multiple episodes involving Pokemon ghosts and the one I remembered involved Ash dying and his ghost hanging out with the ghost pokemon before being brought back life.

...Pokemon was weird.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


The Vosgian Beast posted:

I think if you're not interested, all you see is weird creatures in the news.

Yeah, like how Skylanders has been absolutely gigantic for the past few years but unless you're a parent or work with kids the most you probably know about it is "that thing with Spyro The Dragon in it".

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


I love that they mentioned the really bad attempts at hiding the fact that the show was from Japan because even as a kid that stuff still cracked me up. Their "Hey Ash, want a CHEESEBURGER?" joke wasn't even an exaggeration.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWgxH2KG4ts

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


Terminators having dicks has always been canon, you can totally hear Arnie's penis slapping this thigh when he's walking around naked in the opening of The Terminator. :colbert:

bobkatt013 posted:

Avengers, League of extraordinary gentleman, Never Say Never Again. They have lots of options.
It would also be bad timing to do Avengers.

It's the opposite of a blockbuster but Sir Billi/Guardian of the Highlands is a real Stay Tuned if there ever was one.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


We're just shooting the poo poo between episodes dude, this is a thread full of fans of the podcast and we all obviously like and appreciate what you do.

Considering that like half the posts in this thread are variations of "I hate bad movie podcasts but I love WHM because :words:" you know we're good people.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


I liked the Mystery Men episode because I've hated that movie ever since I saw it in theaters and it was refreshing to see someone tear it down and make fun of its one-joke premise instead of the weird apologist white-knighting that has sprung up around the movie in recent years.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


PUGGERNAUT posted:

Gawdahmoot

This movie was made by a WHAT?!

WHAT?!

WHAT?!

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


Even if it's slighly newer than most of the usual Animation Damnation fare their complete bafflement at the recent Pokemon episode makes me want them to do an episode on Totally Spies, an early 00s french anime knockoff (franime?) that's only notable for having almost every episode be based on one of the animators' weird fetishes.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


It's kind of well-trodden ground but if anybody is going to do the Matrix trilogy I'd much rather it be the WHM guys actually cracking jokes and doing bits instead of the RLM guys spending 9 hours cramming a bunch of made-up filmmaking rules and catchphrases in between rape skits.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


If you aren't a McDuck, you aren't McShit!

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


GrandpaPants posted:

Cloud Atlas and Speed Racer were great movies though :colbert:

Also this happens in a Matrix videogame

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TLJb9NZN0I

That video game, The Matrix: Path of Neo, is the one that came out years after the trilogy ended and let you actually play as Neo, it was mostly just kind of mediocre. The one that came out at the same time Reloaded was Enter The Matrix, which was an amazing shitshow in that huge amounts of the plot of the sequels tied into the game but the game was obviously unfinished and rushed to market. So you get a hilarously awful disparity of quality where there's tons of celebrity voice acting and motion-captured kung fu but the basic run animation is janky as gently caress and the agents just kind of dance when you shoot them because they didn't add a motion blur.

There was also the MMO that was supposed to be a sequel to the movies, where Morpheus dies in the stupidest way possible and Neo is reincarnated as a woman because Lana Wachowsky can't stop inserting herself in every other thing she makes.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


Now that I'm no longer on my phone, here's the dramatic final moments of Morpheus:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWPey1fU9Ok

And this is how the entire Matrix saga ends, the culmination of ten years and hundreds of millions of dollars:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmKIU_6J0HY

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Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 3857 days!


weekly font posted:

Social Networking Agent Smith was one of the funniest gags in a while though.

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