Dumb Marketing Moves: Tell me about Zoos

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Dumb Marketing Moves: Tell me about Zoos

«‹›801 »

Ultima66: Sep 2, 2008

Volmarias posted:

I've got to assume that there's some wordplay here that isn't translating

E: unless I'm missing something because the English text has overlaid it, the fourth sentence is the same as the second, except that it has characters at the end, so I wonder if it's something like "we will tutor and help your child('s competing applicants)"

Oh yeah you have it right. It's laid out like this:

code:

IF YOU COME
We will train your child

IF YOU DON'T COME
We will train your child
's competitors

# ? Mar 12, 2024 04:12

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 07:24

Zero_Grade: Mar 18, 2004; Darktider 🖤🌊

~Neck Angels~

Platystemon posted:

Cranberries keep winning.

Dumb Marketing Moves: Everybody Else Is Doing It, So Why Can't We?

# ? Mar 12, 2024 05:09

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Ultima66 posted:

Oh yeah you have it right. It's laid out like this:
code:
IF YOU COME
We will train your child

IF YOU DON'T COME
We will train your child
's competitors

Yeah, that's almost flat out saying the quiet part loud. The reason China outright cracked down hard on tutoring is because of the ridiculous arms race it had become for that reason.

# ? Mar 12, 2024 08:24

Red Oktober: May 24, 2006; wiggly eyes!

Stonegate (who own 4.5k venues and are the UK�s biggest pub / bar group) were talking about introducing surge pricing on weekends last year. https://www.theguardian.com/business/2023/sep/12/busy-pubs-charge-drinkers-more-slug-lettuce-yatess but I don�t know if they went through with it. They�ve certainly hiked prices during big football matches before.

In hospitality it�s a bit easier to do as the idea of �happy hour� or �cheaper drinks on a Wednesday� is already a thing, so they could just increase prices on the weekend as their �standard price� and reduce it during the week as an �offer price�.

# ? Mar 12, 2024 08:38

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Busy Pubs Charge Drinkers More Slug Lettuce Yatess

# ? Mar 12, 2024 12:00

Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

Ultima66 posted:

Not sure if this would count as dumb or smart for marketing but this is apparently a Chinese tutoring ad that went viral:

Would be a real shame if something were to happen to your child's career prospects

# ? Mar 12, 2024 12:40

The MSJ: May 17, 2010

Well if I didn't came, I would have no child to sent to your class. That should be obvious.

# ? Mar 12, 2024 23:19

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

I have no child, and I must come

# ? Mar 13, 2024 04:13

Viscous Soda: Apr 24, 2004

bobjr posted:

https://twitter.com/MorePerfectUS/status/1767241511522193766

Wendy�s execs upset they got all the attention

You know, I only just realized this is probably why most fast food places are all pushing for digital menu boards. When "surge prices" become common place they can alter prices on a minute-by-minute basis.

# ? Mar 13, 2024 07:29

Squidster: Oct 7, 2008; ✋😢Life's just better with Ominous Gloves🤗🧤

This lobster market price short from last July is looking awful prophetic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UC3gEXZJKMM

# ? Mar 13, 2024 08:16

Samovar: Jun 4, 2011; I'm 😤 not a 🦸🏻‍♂️hero...🧜🏻

Knormal posted:

I have no child, and I must come

Isn't that the title of Jimmy Saville's biography?

# ? Mar 13, 2024 10:58

Volmarias: Dec 31, 2002; EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

Viscous Soda posted:

You know, I only just realized this is probably why most fast food places are all pushing for digital menu boards. When "surge prices" become common place they can alter prices on a minute-by-minute basis.

I suspect it's more so that the parent company can update everyone's menu at once in certain markets, without having to pay to mail out anything, without franchisees having to update the menu, etc. Menu costs are a thing.

I also bet they're going to do some A/B testing bullshit, and start showing ads. Because gently caress you, that's why.

# ? Mar 13, 2024 21:43

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Maybe it's not such a bad thing overall, if it'll stop the Burger King employees from judging me for being in the drive thru at 10:31 AM while they're manually switching away from the breakfast menu. I got up early, that was my lunchtime, it's not weird!!

# ? Mar 13, 2024 21:47

Kwyndig: Sep 23, 2006; Heeeeeey

My local Burger King has electronic menu boards, and yes they play ads for sandwiches.

# ? Mar 13, 2024 22:43

run on sentience: Mar 22, 2022

Kwyndig posted:

My local Burger King has electronic menu boards, and yes they play ads for sandwiches.

This poo poo is so annoying. I think most fast food places have that at this point. Love only being able to look at the menu for 3 seconds at a time before an ad replaces it for 30 seconds.

# ? Mar 14, 2024 00:19

Ultima66: Sep 2, 2008

Are there places where it's an all electronic menu but you're still ordering from a person? I've seen several Asian restaurants that just take all their orders via a touchscreen/online menu and no one ever interacts with you outside of bringing you the food. I haven't seen ads on those systems though.

That said gas stations have screens to play ads at you while you get gas now and it sucks.

# ? Mar 14, 2024 01:23

spookykid: Apr 28, 2006; I am an awkward fellow
after all

Ultima66 posted:

Are there places where it's an all electronic menu but you're still ordering from a person? I've seen several Asian restaurants that just take all their orders via a touchscreen/online menu and no one ever interacts with you outside of bringing you the food. I haven't seen ads on those systems though.

That said gas stations have screens to play ads at you while you get gas now and it sucks.

often you'll se a slightly grimy or worn button on those, usually it's what mutes/cancels the ad. For the ones around here it's 2nd from the bottom on the left side of the screen.

# ? Mar 14, 2024 01:28

canyoneer: Sep 13, 2005; I only have canyoneyes for you

Ultima66 posted:

Are there places where it's an all electronic menu but you're still ordering from a person? I've seen several Asian restaurants that just take all their orders via a touchscreen/online menu and no one ever interacts with you outside of bringing you the food. I haven't seen ads on those systems though.

My favorite Chinese noodle place in NYC does this and it rules. They are also a "no gratuity" restaurant and have the most incredible hand stretched noodles.

Xi'an Famous Foods slaps

# ? Mar 14, 2024 01:30

Volmarias: Dec 31, 2002; EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

Ultima66 posted:

Are there places where it's an all electronic menu but you're still ordering from a person? I've seen several Asian restaurants that just take all their orders via a touchscreen/online menu and no one ever interacts with you outside of bringing you the food. I haven't seen ads on those systems though.

There are some restaurants that have very large flat screens that they use to display their menu at the counter, instead of a big paper sign. Digital signage!

quote:

That said gas stations have screens to play ads at you while you get gas now and it sucks.

Jersey remains supreme with Full Service, none of this getting advertised at the pump bullshit.

canyoneer posted:

Xi'an Famous Foods slaps

# ? Mar 14, 2024 05:56

run on sentience: Mar 22, 2022

I've even seen electronic drive-thru menus that switch to ads while you're deciding, because it's not like there's a line of cars waiting behind you or anything.

# ? Mar 14, 2024 22:30

Fruits of the sea: Dec 1, 2010

Ultima66 posted:

Are there places where it's an all electronic menu but you're still ordering from a person? I've seen several Asian restaurants that just take all their orders via a touchscreen/online menu and no one ever interacts with you outside of bringing you the food. I haven't seen ads on those systems though.

That said gas stations have screens to play ads at you while you get gas now and it sucks.

I'm close to a Korean barbecue where you order via tablet and the food is delivered by robots (with smiling kitty faces on their screens :3:

). Except it turns out that the robots have a lot of difficulty navigating a crowded restaurant, so they are shepherded by staff the whole way, rendering the gimmick pointless but very entertaining.

# ? Mar 14, 2024 23:54

Desert Bus: May 9, 2004; Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

Fruits of the sea posted:

I'm close to a Korean barbecue where you order via tablet and the food is delivered by robots (with smiling kitty faces on their screens ). Except it turns out that the robots have a lot of difficulty navigating a crowded restaurant, so they are shepherded by staff the whole way, rendering the gimmick pointless but very entertaining.

I would honestly pay extra to watch people get paid to tend to finicky robots while I eat.

# ? Mar 14, 2024 23:59

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

I want the little faces on the screens to turn to frustrated red faces whenever it bumps into a table or chair or patron, which should be quite often, like a bumblebee

# ? Mar 15, 2024 00:04

Phy: Jun 27, 2008; Fun Shoe

Fruits of the sea posted:

I'm close to a Korean barbecue where you order via tablet and the food is delivered by robots (with smiling kitty faces on their screens ). Except it turns out that the robots have a lot of difficulty navigating a crowded restaurant, so they are shepherded by staff the whole way, rendering the gimmick pointless but very entertaining.

~WHAT IS MY PURPOSE~
"You serve butter."
~

~
"And what about me?"
"You stop people from kicking the butterbot."
"

# ? Mar 15, 2024 00:11

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

Phy posted:

~WHAT IS MY PURPOSE~
"You serve butter."
~~
"And what about me?"
"You stop people from kicking the butterbot."
""

Who tends the butterbot shepherd? It's wage slaves all the way down.

# ? Mar 15, 2024 00:29

Push El Burrito: May 9, 2006; Soiled Meat

Fruits of the sea posted:

I'm close to a Korean barbecue where you order via tablet and the food is delivered by robots (with smiling kitty faces on their screens ). Except it turns out that the robots have a lot of difficulty navigating a crowded restaurant, so they are shepherded by staff the whole way, rendering the gimmick pointless but very entertaining.

There's a place in my hometown where the robots act like old diner waitresses and argue with the robot manager it's adorable.

But they only travel one path because everyone sits at a bar instead of a table.

# ? Mar 15, 2024 00:34

well why not: Feb 10, 2009

this is less efficient than a sushi train isn�t it

# ? Mar 15, 2024 05:24

Volmarias: Dec 31, 2002; EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

well why not posted:

this is less efficient than a sushi train isn’t it

Just like every other time we insist on things less efficient than a train

# ? Mar 15, 2024 05:38

poly and open-minded: Nov 22, 2006; In BOD we trust

Am I my butterbot�s keeper?

# ? Mar 15, 2024 05:38

Kerbtree: Sep 8, 2008; BAD FALCON!
LAZY!

https://youtu.be/Y31__uv05KI?si=pRaFffwAhwKEDtyR

# ? Mar 15, 2024 08:39

ImpAtom: May 24, 2007

So Marvel put out a solicitation about one of their upcoming variant

""Marvel Comics will be celebrating Pride Month this year by looking beyond those of us in the LGBTQIA+ community and focusing on those who support them: the allies."

They have since reworded it

"Marvel Comics will be celebrating Pride Month this year by looking at its LGBTQIA+ characters as well as their straight allies."

But... yeah. "For pride month, we're going to look at the straights."

# ? Mar 23, 2024 00:21

cumpantry: Dec 18, 2020; Can't post for 2 hours!

that is a hysterical ad copy before being revised lmao

# ? Mar 23, 2024 01:06

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Next they will be celebrating the most stigmatized members of the LGBTQIA+ community. That�s right: chasers.

# ? Mar 23, 2024 08:27

George H.W. Cunt: Oct 6, 2010

Poz my X hole

# ? Mar 23, 2024 17:04

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL: Feb 21, 2006; Holy Moly! DARKSEID IS!

So Marvel didn�t want to change their usual continuity? :effort:

Or who are the editors and/or higher ups that wanted stories about how it�s so HAAAAARRRRRRDDD to be an ally because uh-oh, bigoted family members and friends will think they�re :gay:

- or worse, a socialist!

# ? Mar 23, 2024 19:35

Alaois: Feb 7, 2012

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:

So Marvel didn’t want to change their usual continuity? Or who are the editors and/or higher ups that wanted stories about how it’s so HAAAAARRRRRRDDD to be an ally because uh-oh, bigoted family members and friends will think they’re - or worse, a socialist!

Theyre not stories, theyre just variant covers of like, Daredevil standing next to Rachel Summers

# ? Mar 23, 2024 19:56

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

It was just a cute thing to celebrate gay characters by putting them with much higher earning characters like spider man

The actual story they are doing is a gay wedding between Mystique and Destiny the OG lesbian couple

# ? Mar 23, 2024 20:02