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Some years ago Fedex bought Kinkos. A few years back they rebranded FedexKinkos to FedexOffice, because gods know there isn't enough stores with the word Office in the name. People associate copies with Kinkos. Cue every loving store in the US getting new sign packs, after the Office rebrand, and a ton of smaller ads that read KINKOS INSIDE. The average store had FEDEXOFFICE in large signage, but nearly as large on every window were stickers reading KINKOS INSIDE. And people still don't know if FedexOffice does copies.
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Jan 29, 2015 11:28
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In an effort to 'streamline and personalize' the shipping process, if you go to a Fedex store these days with a package to ship, you don't have to fill out a form. What you do need to do is tell the cashier the address, and phone number, and every little detail from the sender and the recipient verbally, and then they enter it in. And then print out a label for you to double check over. And then actually process the shipment once you okay the address. For every box. Every time. Because the best way to streamline something is to make it more loving difficult and deal with mumbling people or ones who just pass their phone over with the address or don't want to read the address out loud because people could 'steal' it. You know what customers want? Shorter wait times. Throw in a second shipping counter in every store and man the gently caress out of it.
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Mar 18, 2015 11:07
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Picnic Princess posted:What was that newspaper comic that had a week-long shitfit about cup sizes in small and large? The protagonist went on and on and on and on about how those sizes couldn't exist without a medium to compare to? Or something like that. I feel the series should be posted here. Dustin. The same comic where the writer or artist thinks baggers makes $20 an hour and the entire premise is Dustin can't keep a job because this generation is sooooo lazy.
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Mar 19, 2015 10:45
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Robhol posted:Maybe rather than forcing people to use their weird sizes, they should just use normal sizes that everybody understands. Use mL instead of oz. Most of the world does anyway. Watch Americans flip their poo poo as they try to figure out if a 150mL soda is a good deal for a buck. I really really wish they could ban police sirens in any kind of ads, especially radio. Yes, great idea to showcase your loving auto sale, PLAY SOME SIRENS!
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Mar 24, 2015 19:57
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ToxicSlurpee posted:There's a very good chance that the answer is "they can't." Freak shows ended because people started questioning how good it was for the performers and the freaks themselves were often treated quite badly. Once the public found out about that it large faded from existence beyond some circuses being all "hey here is a goat with six legs!" Now that people are being more concerned with animal welfare circus elephants and show orcas are coming heavily under fire and will probably just fade away like freak shows did. Yeah some people don't give a poo poo but most humans are actually capable of empathy. In the case of orcas pretty much everybody in America has seen Free Willy at least once. The sad part is, there is nothing that can be done to save the orcas other than, what, direct death? Some people advocate returning them to the wild (and that worked so well for Keiko) or putting them somewhere where they still get vet care but no shows. But SeaWorld is a business. I don't think they're a non-profit either. I don't think they can put the orcas "somewhere" and keep them alive for the rest of their lives. Maybe they can, maybe there's some safe harbor the whales can go in and be fed and cared for, but I doubt it. I worked in a for-profit zoo for years. The poo poo that goes on is sometimes insane. And honestly, there's what, 30, maybe 40 orcas tops in the various sea parks? There's millions of parrots who are dumped or attempted to be dumped at zoos every year. I don't see any group boycotting the loving import or sale of parrots at loving Petsmarts. Not that orcas don't need help, but every time someone moans about SeaWorld to me, or how it's so cruel to see tigers in a zoo, I ask them what the hell we should do with the animals then, because releasing them to the wild results in their death, and gently caress, if people can't be bothered to spay and neuter their cats and dogs, I don't think they're going to want to throw some tax money in to feed captive orcas or keep them happy in isolation. I've never worked for SeaWorld. Even as a kid I though it was horrible they took a gray whale calf to raise in captivity just to see if it could be done. But the orcas now are like old timers in prison who have served their 40 or 50+ years. Sending them back to their 'normal environment' defeats it all. Just what do we do with the drat orcas once the shows fail and SeaWorld needs to be rid of them?
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Mar 29, 2015 22:56
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Dr Scoofles posted:Even worse are the Game of War/Clash of Clan adverts on TV. No gameplay footage, not even cutscene footage - just some CG cartoon of what the game might look like in your imagination. I've seen endless ads for those games and still have no idea what they look like to play. From the ads, it looks like a badly done minotaur and a blonde woman wearing an evening gown going off to fight it. Maybe a prom dress. It is pretty low cut for max cleavage. Me, I love the laser hair removal ads. It always starts with someone saying how super busy they are and who has TIME to shave their legs, right ladies? So get LASER HAIR REMOVAL and throw away all your razors and never shave again and save time! Oh BTW you have to go to multiple sessions to see results and then keep coming back so you really don't save any time at all.
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Apr 21, 2015 02:17
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Everyone knows the dollar menu at McDonalds. So I don't know why they altered it so that almost everything is now $1.50 or so. Or why most of the stores around here closed for a month to get remodeled, so now every single loving store looks the same. There used to be one with a two-story kids area with giant playplace. Gone. One that was decorated like a loving dinosaur park. Gone. One that had aquariums in it! Gone. They are all the same now with the same poo poo design...and they wonder why they are losing money?
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May 31, 2015 11:52
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Bobby Digital posted:This was the most aggravating poo poo at my old apartment building. Any Sunday delivery came via USPS. To throw a bone to the devil's advocate, but just because one driver has the code, not all of them do. There were many times I'd try to deliver a package, only to meet with a gate, and when I called the center who was sending the order, they'd snap that "the other driver knows the code." Well that's poo poo and pancakes because I DON'T. So the package would be a day late, the center would get screamed at by the customer, and I'd be sitting there wishing people shipped poo poo to their work instead. The Audi thing is...weird. It seems like an Onion thing. Though it does remind me of how I never let anyone do detail car poo poo when I take my car to the wash: there are dozens of signs saying that anything you leave in your car, well, take your valuables. Why not just say the people will steal your poo poo?
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Jun 19, 2015 23:38
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We just had our annual 'how much money we made and no, no one gets a raise this year" meeting and it always baffles me how much money a business pours into advertising, when they could spend half of it adding cashiers and sending out coupons, and get a ton more customers.
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Jun 21, 2015 02:40
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I saw a loving Cutco knife table in Costco. What the gently caress? There was even a vendor there urging people to cut things with his poo poo.
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Jul 6, 2015 00:16
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canyoneer posted:http://www.sportingnews.com/mlb/sto...ll-hall-of-fame The funny thing is that no one, loving NO ONE calls is the Piestewa Highway. It used to be called Squaw Peak, then was renamed, and people kept calling it Squaw Peak. Now everyone just calls it the 51. So how did Amazon work out today with their Prime Black Friday? All I heard was how lovely the sales and actual items were.
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Jul 16, 2015 00:35
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Mu Zeta posted:I was in Spain a few weeks and the one McDonald's I saw was completely packed with locals. I was in Tahiti years ago, but what made me cringe was seeing a packed McDonalds there. Not even in the tourist area of the place. Since the kids are growing up I go there less, but it's amazing how lovely some of the stores were. For a while every one had their "niche design." The one decorated with dinosaurs was sweet and we'd drive further to go there. One was all Atlantis decor'd. And the playplaces were the same. But then you'd come across a few stores that had loving grand pianos in them and no playplaces. So for the latter it became more of a "drive thru and eat at home or the park" which meant no desserts or any last minute "do you want a pie?" thing. gently caress, the last time the kids wanted to go to Smashburger, but seriously the higher price didn't mean the food was any better. The fact half of the Dollar Menu, that made McDonalds the go-to for "poo poo I need dinner and I had to work late and everything's going to take an hour to make" time, is over a buck matters. It's pennies, yes, but haven't there been studies that say people are more willing to pay for the flat 1.00 than a 1.39? I don't know if the all-day breakfast will help much. gently caress, I want French Fries at 8am. If Burger King can do it, why can't McDonalds?
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Oct 19, 2015 11:22
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Away from gamechat, but with all the PUMPKIN SPICE poo poo these days, I am somewhat unsurprised to see loving cat litter that promises to smell like pumpkin spice. Is that before or after the cat shits in the box?
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Oct 23, 2015 23:20
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canyoneer posted:Those 5 companies do not make meaningful amounts of money off of phones and tablets, which are quickly becoming PC replacements for most people. They'll try anything. Next step, make a PC that has wifi in it, like a tablet does, without needing an adapter? I loving hate the BK "crosssssaaaaaainwich!" commercials. No, gently caress you, drive through dude, I will never eat there because I don't want some fucker screaming that at me.
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Oct 27, 2015 00:58
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My DARE officer eventually was convicted for drug dealing. The best anti-drug thing I ever saw was my brother, high on weed laced with something. He came home from his close shift at KFC, toked out of his brain, and turned on every light in the house. What woke me was his booming, almost yelling voice from his room, where he, still in uniform, was asking imaginary customers if they wanted roasted or honey BBQ, thighs or breasts, etc. The dude was high as gently caress and he was at work in his drug haze. I thought the purpose of drugs was to escape the mundane, not relive it. Somewhat a PSA from my lovely dead grandma, may she be a succubus in the next life. When I was a kid, I'd had sex ed (so vague. Man has penis. Penis goes in the big pee hole a woman has, and then a baby comes out. So never let a man touch your peehole unless you want a baby right now!) but most of it was way over my head. So when my parents decided to breed out MinPin dog Shasta, I went over to the stud's house with my mom and the dog. Our girl was either too late in the cycle or didn't like the stud, because she wouldn't stand for him. So we stayed for a few hours, and being a kid I wasn't paying attention when the dog cornered our dog and proceeded to mount her. Cue the most insane screaming that makes me tear up to this day. The stud was bigger than Shasta, had her trapped between the wall and a doghouse, and she kept screaming for almost half an hour, only stopping to whimper. I remember there was blood after he finally got down, and later that day my nice grandma called and asked how the breeding went, because she wanted a puppy. I, being a stupid kid, told her everything, from the screams to the blood to how our dog couldn't sit down after. And my nice grandma told me that that was what sex was. Down to the last detail. So when my boyfriend ever wanted to have sex, I needed to remember all the blood and how hurt the dog was, how badly she screamed, because THAT WOULD BE ME ONE DAY. I think if anyone chooses a sexuality, right then my mind said: No, gently caress that, I am never having sex with a man, I am never going through that,, I'm a lesbian now. It put quite a damper on the rest of my childhood, because every morning when my dad bitched about not getting laid the night before, I came pretty close to screaming at him not to hurt my mom. Clearly Grandma was right because my dad always wanted to have sex, to the point he loudly bitched about it to his grade-school kids, and my mom didn't want to hurt us kids by us hearing her scream. And even when I got sex ed later in school, I said nothing. Clearly the sex ed was so scant in details, I figured, because the teachers didn't want to scar the girls. Drugs and sex. Life would be so much better if we were just loving honest about them both.
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Nov 4, 2015 00:19
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So was out with the kids the other day and one of them spotted what looked like a Kung Fu Panda 3 poster. Had the panda and his dad panda on it. Nope, it was for the website fatherhood.gov and the happy text read: Take time to be a dad today. Even the drat nine year old (who saw the movie last week) asked where the panda's other dad was. The one who adopted him as a baby and raised him. No sign of him, just two similar looking pandas grinning like father and son. The entire drat premise of the third stupid panda movie is that the main panda finds his long-lost panda kind but still the dad who raised him (some kind of bird) is still his dad and part of his family. Fatherhood, only counts when related by blood. When a nine year old can see the flaw in your stupid poster, you need a new poster.
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Feb 23, 2016 22:45
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I have to say I do love the Dear Kitten ads, even if I can't remember what the poo poo cat food it's for. WTF is the man-in-woman's-mouth ad even for?
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Mar 6, 2016 00:00
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Barudak posted:Not a global thing, but available in various markets around the globe. I've no answer as to why its going back to Lift mind you, or why it changed only in Australia to the Lift Fanta branding. What do they call it in China? Around here McDonald's has pretty much killed the dollar menu. There's one, maybe 2 items left on it? And then they started a Get 2 for $5 deal for a few sandwiches but they seem a lot less busy than before. I put it down to the impulse buy. In some stores I deliver to, they tote impulse buys at the register....that average about $20 each. That is not an impulse buy. No one suddenly looks at a USB shaped like Tweety Bird and decides they want it. An impulse buy is almost change. Under 5 bucks. A dollar or two is easier. Plus if you think, gently caress, I can get a burger for everyone at home for under $10 and have leftovers, that's a good deal. It's cheap. But wait, 2 for 5, that means I have to get a lot more, it's not worth it. Also, getting really sick of checking out somewhere and the poor cashier has a loving list of sales to read off to me. Did I know they have paper at 10% off? They also have all canvas prints 50% and their pens and writing utensils are 20%. Does that poo poo really increase sales?
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Mar 8, 2016 10:49
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Liquorland sounds like the best theme park ever. If anything it's a surprise it took Disney so drat long to throw pets to the princesses. Barbie has had them for years. gently caress, when I was a kid and My Little Pony was big, they released Pony Pets, which were just cats and dogs in fun colors, always a mom animal with 2-3 babies. They were never in the shows but I'm sure they sold like mad. gently caress, I remember there were like three poses for any kind of kitten or puppy or rabbit, one was always sitting, one was sleeping, one was sitting up with a paw in the air, all recolored to maximize your kid needing to get them all.
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Mar 13, 2016 05:03
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I wish it was illegale to have sirens and souds of car accidents in loving radio commercials. Though my favorite has to be one very loud accident, brakes squealing and then a huge crash, with one guy exclaiming "Oh no, not again," in the most unsurprised voice possible. Dick, if a car accident has you thinking "meh, too bad" instead of slightly panicky from the adrenaline, you should not be driving.
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Mar 17, 2016 00:23
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I've gotten a ton of spam mail about Xarelto or something like that and a class action suit. I am eagerly waiting for the RM3 poo poo to have a class suit. Every other radio commercial is for that poo poo. Why don't more companies just use coupons or loving free samples? How many of us buy something at Costco we barely looked at because we got a free sample?
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Jun 8, 2016 23:53
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Zero One posted:No there was a soup commercial with two dads feeding their son. I think it also involved Star Wars so even more people got upset that "perfect" "family" Disney company was involved too. Because Disney is smart, and knows that no matter who you like to gently caress, you have money. I bet Disney execs see poo poo like the bakery who refused to make a gay wedding cake (and leaked the info of the customers, etc) and just shake their heads and use $500 to light their cigars as they wonder how loving stupid people have to be to actively push money away.
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Jan 25, 2017 02:59
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AA is for Quitters posted:
I wonder if there is some "CRAZY TRICK AMERICANS DONT WANT YOU TO KNOW!" dietary poo poo ISIS tells its followers to use on the US. Like, wrap your bullets in lettuce overnight so they can't go to Infidel Heaven. Maybe it's a rainbow colored anything. Wedding cake especially. Just having a photo of one, or a rainbow colored American flag?
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Jan 30, 2017 14:39
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I can't remember what it's for, a drug store or a drug itself, but there's a raido ad I hear at least once an hour with a sick guy coughing bad, and saying he has to call out sick tomorrow. One commercial has his wife asking, all pissy, if he wants to call out sick to his daughter's birthday. The other has a whiny kid whimpering about him missing a dance recital. YES. YES loving YES. You should not be around loving kids if you are sick beyond the loving common cold! The flu, bronchitis? Yes, you loving call out sick! Or, no, wait, you go and expose a ton of people to whatever has you coughing nonstop. Great idea.
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Feb 4, 2017 02:51
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Boofchicken posted:I'm looking at this and it seems too good to be true. Do you like it? I am seriously considering switching over right away. I have it and I love it. The phone is great and Google does not skimp on their service. When I had an issue with my GPS, their 24/7 tech support helped me, and then said they would send me a new phone, but not to return my phone until the new one was verified okay. I need to get my mom on this plan.
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Feb 9, 2017 03:16
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So okay, every radio station is hawking Sherry's Berries for Valentines. Still weird as gently caress to hear Glenn Beck or one of the conservative talking heads running the same commercial, word for word.
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Feb 11, 2017 05:49
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Elephant births are worse. gently caress, the Pipa pipa frog birth is poo poo from H.R. Giger.
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Apr 16, 2017 19:25
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Beef Jerky Robot posted:I doubt anyone would've made a stink about it if not for the whole Captain America debacle that's happening. Without going too stupidnerd, what debacle? Oh, oh, tell me they made a woman Captain! Or a Muslim or gay one? That kinda poo poo always makes idiots sperg.
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Apr 23, 2017 20:31
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Krispy Kareem posted:The Autobots aren't Optimus Prime! That's like saying Africa is a country! I know the G1 cartoon was nothing but 20 minutes of commercial for toys, but I do remember watching some episodes with my niece, and there was one where the Decepticons tried to pull the "we can be good too, human worms" plot. Soundwave was slicing up the loving dance floor as a DJ. No Autobot ever did that poo poo. I mean, poo poo, technically speaking either side could get 99% of humanity slaving away for them for free wifi. Does anyone else know wtf McDonalds is doing with more of these "exotic gourmet" sandwiches? You know what I want? loving FRENCH FRIES AT 8AM. 5AM. But nope, you can get breakfast all day but fries only after 1030. If Burger King can knock it out, why precisely can't the golden arches?
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May 6, 2017 04:27
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I wish McDonalds had more chicken options. gently caress, how about the spicy chicken sandwich as nuggets? That poo poo would be amazing. Another add from an ex-golden arches employee: round eggs (mcmuffins, the old bagels) were regular eggs, the folded eggs were yolk-like batter that came from a carton. I preferred the latter, nothing like trying to pick shell out of those round bins. I do remember being asked to make sure the eggs were always cooked, which seemed dumb to teenage Cowslips, as everything was on a timer and I never saw anything runny. But salmonella scares happen all the time (or people think they have it). I've been around reptiles my entire life so chances are I've had it by now. Would be funny if I got it from undercooked chicken after 30 years of handing turtles and snakes. Marketing WTF: laser hair removal, okay, I get it, it runs on almost every radio station here so they must do great business. But there's a pregnant dj who was hired to run commercials, so what does the ad focus on? How hard it is for her, in her third trimester, to shave her legs. Because she is worried about what the doctors will think when she goes in to have her baby! I can't imagine the focus group for that.
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May 8, 2017 13:13
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Waffleman_ posted:Honey, you are going to poo poo yourself in front of that doctor. Your legs are fine, they are not going to judge. I also like how a selling point to laser hair removal is "I save SOOOOO much time!" Because multiple trips to the place don't count? The same lady dj had a similar ad after her first baby, where she bragged that despite being a mom with a newborn, her legs were sexy smooth because of all the time she didn't have to spend plucking or tweezing or shaving or whatever, which gave her more mom time.
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May 8, 2017 13:23
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My brother and I are about 15 months apart, so as a kid, we each would get a little dollar store something when the other had a birthday. Mom called it the Big Sister/Baby Brother gift or something. And we did this until I was about 8 or so and old enough to grasp the idea of 'you don't get a present all the time.' I did the same with my nieces and nephews. Always made sure to wrap it too, because unwrapping it is important. My stepnephew turned 9 last year, and his half-brother was born a few months after his birthday. Now normally I would hold off, the kid's 9, I got him some Lego Dimensions poo poo for his birthday (dollar store. WTF were brand new Legos doing there, but I bought about thirty sets. EVERYONE GETS LEGOS THIS YEAR. Needless to say my dad told me not to spend that much again. I checked a local store, that poo poo sells for $10-15 a set.) buuut....it was his stepmom's first baby so everyone was piling on the gifts. So I sent my stepnephew a stuffed pirate Minion doll. I got a very nice thank you note from my stepbrother's wife, thanking me for her baby's blankets and general stuff, and for Jason's Minion, because the kid flipped out over his "You're my big brother, and this is for you because I might cry a lot!" baby brother's present, and still sleeps with it a year later. Actual content: every Mother's Day I hear so much ads about Sherry's Berries, and every loving radio station slings the ads. I even heard them on an AM station once; the dj went from screaming about Obama still controlling the White House in secret to explaining how, if you love your mom, berries are better than flowers! I wonder how much business the place does in AZ though, because I usually forget and will check out the deal, only to see an additional $15 "cooling fee" added for our state. They never mention that poo poo in the ads of course. Then again, working in transport, I always assumed food delivery had refridge units.
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May 20, 2017 19:37
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Double Punctuation posted:Still closed Sundays, though. Discount Tire is closed Sundays too. Are the founders/owners religious? It's so drat dumb because people need tires all the time. And I have never seen a slow Discount Tire.
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May 21, 2017 02:53
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Platystemon posted:Yeah it’ll keep technicians busy, but ”always packed“ suggests there are quite number of people milling about. 25 in a day isn’t much for that. I visit Discount Tires over a range of about 8 cities and 200 miles. Every one has at least 4-10 people in the lobby, not all from the same group, and many people leave their cars there and go shopping nearby. I don't know if something is going on with DTire and their employees, because after Good Friday when all the stores were closed for 3 hours mid-day, and then again closed for some employee day on a Saturday, all day, I'm seeing Now Hiring signs at most of the stores. Wages between 9-10 an hour? That seems pretty loving low to me.
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May 21, 2017 08:26
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Krispy Kareem posted:I like Discount Tire because they've always pretty honest with me. They've had multiple chances to rip me off and haven't taken the opportunity. Express Oil Change is another place that seems unusually honest. You see the same employees there year after year and it's tough keeping good workers if your business rips people off regularly. To a degree, yes. But tires break all the loving time. You always need a repair place open. Big O Tires and the oil change places suck up all of the Sunday poo poo. Brakemasters is closed on Sundays here. So if I need a car repair asap on a Sunday, it's to Brakes Plus or Firestone. They rake it in. I'm not saying they need to be 24/7 but being open at least 10am till 6pm would help a lot of people and make them some money.
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May 21, 2017 18:53
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Is United seriously trying to lose it all or is this some viral stunt months in the making?
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May 29, 2017 16:32
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Henchman of Santa posted:My hometown had an ice cream place that was always empty and seemed to actively loathe serving customers, yet remained open for years and years. My whole family is convinced it's a front. Frozen yogurt place here. Sometimes you might see 3, 4 customers in it. At least the people working it seem friendly. I can't remember, was Los Pollos Hermanos ever shown as super busy? As for the kissing robots, and you call yourselves geeks, the one wearing a faceplate can likely remove it if he wants!
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Jun 4, 2017 03:52
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Who'd have guessed it, Niantic hosed up their Chicago Pokemon Go event. People there couldn't play, the game crashed nonstop, none of the specials could be unlocked. At the end, as the final kick in the teeth, Niantic told everyone to go home because everything was done, they'd get a refund, etc....and then they flooded the park with the special legendary raids. Last I heard spoofers are picking up 20+ each of the special raid Pokemon because gently caress it, Niantic isn't gonna stop them, they're trying not to get more water bottles thrown on stage and call the riot police. They shot both feet with this one.
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Jul 23, 2017 23:28
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Yeah, I play POGO but I won't go into graveyards. I also don't like that a bunch of churches are gyms, it doesn't seem respectful to trounce and park and chill for a raid in someone's church lot. Why the gently caress there's any stops in a goddamn Holocaust memorial though, that isn't right.
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Jul 25, 2017 02:34
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Someone at Walmart might be getting a talking to. http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/walmart-apologizes-for-back-to-school-gun-display-urging-students-to-own-the-year-like-a-hero/ Having a rifle display urging students to 'own the school year like a hero' might be a mad marketing move.
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Aug 10, 2017 14:50
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