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Prokhor Zakharov
Dec 31, 2008

This is me as I make another great post


Good luck with your depression!
This is amazing if only to bring the world one step closer to resolving the greatest Punk feud of all time:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBlNnJlgu8w

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Bubba Smith
Sep 27, 2004

Is tonight the greatest moment in Dominick Cruz's life?

No.

The greatest moment in my life was realizing that I didn't need a belt to be happy.
Debuts in the spring against the returning GSP.

:stare:

You gotta be making GBS threads me

I guess next year everybody in UFC's office is getting a lambo

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Daniel Bryan posted:

Mike Coughlin at F4WOnline:

Haha oh my God he's just going to troll WWE till he gets bored :allears:

Lloyd Boner
Oct 11, 2009

Yes officer, my name is Victoria Sonnen...berg

Bubba Smith posted:

Debuts in the spring against the returning GSP.

:stare:

You gotta be making GBS threads me

I guess next year everybody in UFC's office is getting a lambo

It's a joke

Ty1990
Apr 22, 2011

Lol. There is literally zero chance his first fight is against GSP. I don't give a poo poo who reported it.

Dangersim
Sep 4, 2011

:qq:He expended too much energy and got tired:qq:

I'M NOT SURPRISED MOTHERFUCKERS

Bubba Smith posted:

Debuts in the spring against the returning GSP.

:stare:

You gotta be making GBS threads me

I assure you he is.

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

Uh, I don't think this was a good idea on his part. UFC can't really put nobodies against him without it looking bad on their part, and a 36 year-old without fighting experience doesn't inspire much confidence.

Lloyd Boner
Oct 11, 2009

Yes officer, my name is Victoria Sonnen...berg

Ty1990 posted:

Lol. There is literally zero chance his first fight is against GSP. I don't give a poo poo who reported it.

It was a joke that was written before the announcement happened because it was hotly rumored

Bubba Smith
Sep 27, 2004

Is tonight the greatest moment in Dominick Cruz's life?

No.

The greatest moment in my life was realizing that I didn't need a belt to be happy.

Lloyd Boner posted:

It's a joke

yeah I see that now. But at the same time if they actually did that for his first fight it would be a way for everybody to make the most money the quickest and painless way possible. GSP vs Punk would do some of UFC's best PPV numbers in years.

Ty1990
Apr 22, 2011

Lloyd Boner posted:

It was a joke that was written before the announcement happened because it was hotly rumored

Thought so.

DumbWhiteGuy
Jul 4, 2007

You need haters. Fellas if you got 20 haters, you need 40 of them motherfuckers. If there's any haters in here that don't have nobody to hate on, feel free to hate on me

Codependent Poster posted:

Uh, I don't think this was a good idea on his part. UFC can't really put nobodies against him without it looking bad on their part, and a 36 year-old without fighting experience doesn't inspire much confidence.



And he was over 40

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Bubba Smith posted:

yeah I see that now. But at the same time if they actually did that for his first fight it would be a way for everybody to make the most money the quickest and painless way possible. GSP vs Punk would do some of UFC's best PPV numbers in years.

It would certainly get AJ Lee an amazing payday.

Moneyball
Jul 11, 2005

It's a problem you think we need to explain ourselves.
No chance in hell that CM Punk and GSP end up fighting. A legitimate fighter vs a guy who wants to try out MMA.

I hope the best for Punk. I outgrew wrestling, but he seemed pretty entertaining. But any matchup with a legitimate fighter will end horribly. I'm thinking an ending like the previously mentioned Bart Gunn vs Butterbean (not that Butterbean is necessarily legitimate)

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

DumbWhiteGuy posted:



And he was over 40

Except Toney had legit fighting experience, not just a maybe blue belt from being friends with Rener Gracie

Beef Jerky Robot
Sep 20, 2009

"And the DICK?"

Uh I think you will find that CM Punk is a master of muay thai and the deadly anaconda vice

DumbWhiteGuy
Jul 4, 2007

You need haters. Fellas if you got 20 haters, you need 40 of them motherfuckers. If there's any haters in here that don't have nobody to hate on, feel free to hate on me

LobsterMobster posted:

Except Toney had legit fighting experience, not just a maybe blue belt from being friends with Rener Gracie

I'm just trying to cite precedent for such a clusterfuck of a fight that the UFC is going to line up for him but I totally agree it is dumb

CRISPYBABY
Dec 15, 2007

by Reene

LobsterMobster posted:

Except Toney had legit fighting experience, not just a maybe blue belt from being friends with Rener Gracie

Yeah Toney even knew how to do a side check kick

Dangersim
Sep 4, 2011

:qq:He expended too much energy and got tired:qq:

I'M NOT SURPRISED MOTHERFUCKERS
Yeah James Toney doesn't fit any of that.

Dexters Secret
Jun 19, 2014

Chokes McGee posted:

Punk'll be okay, he comes from a legit jiu jutsu background and is mentally tough as well.

He just might not be, y'know, good at it. But he won't get murdered or anything.

Queering Wheel
Jun 18, 2011


attackmole posted:

Yeah Toney even knew how to do a side check kick

Don't forget that gold belt level grappling. Toney was just off that night, Couture got lucky.

cams
Mar 28, 2003


The level to which people think Punk has no idea how to fight another human being is pretty funny.

Solomonic
Jan 3, 2008

INCIPIT SANTA
Are you suggesting he's not going to try to open up with the collar and elbow :eyepop:

UltimoDragonQuest
Oct 5, 2011



I'm finding it hard to believe Punk didn't think his podcast would blow up the internet a week before this announcement.

CM Punk for Promoter of the Year

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


cams posted:

The level to which people think Punk has no idea how to fight another human being is pretty funny.

Like that time Ryback kicked him and his ribs broke

Daniel Bryan
May 23, 2006

GOAT

UltimoDragonQuest posted:

I'm finding it hard to believe Punk didn't think his podcast would blow up the internet a week before this announcement.

CM Punk for Promoter of the Year

Front Row Brian believes this was the big November 17th announcement but it was postponed.

It's possible he wanted it delayed until after his podcasts so he could close the WWE chapter first.

Bubba Smith
Sep 27, 2004

Is tonight the greatest moment in Dominick Cruz's life?

No.

The greatest moment in my life was realizing that I didn't need a belt to be happy.

cams posted:

The level to which people think Punk has no idea how to fight another human being is pretty funny.

it isn't like giving Shaq a fight, but even a lowly ranked UFC fighter is way more conditioned for an MMA match than Punk at this point. It's gonna be a handpicked opponent from nowhere.

colonel_korn
May 16, 2003

CM Punk vs "Filthy" Tom Lawlor, please.

Meat Recital
Mar 26, 2009

by zen death robot

DumbWhiteGuy posted:

I'm just trying to cite precedent for such a clusterfuck of a fight that the UFC is going to line up for him but I totally agree it is dumb

Remember when Dana said 3-1 pro fighter Kimbo Slice would have to earn his way in to UFC by competing in TUF?

Euthyphro
Mar 14, 2004

Soy un águila de verdad.
Remember Sean Gannon?

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

cm punk has years of amateur experience as a backyard wrestler he'll be fine

HOTLANTA MAN
Jul 4, 2010

by Hand Knit
Lipstick Apathy
So UFC guys, what was the most one-sided assbeating in history and does Punk have any potential to get assbeaten on that level?

Euthyphro
Mar 14, 2004

Soy un águila de verdad.

HOTLANTA MAN posted:

So UFC guys, what was the most one-sided assbeating in history and does Punk have any potential to get assbeaten on that level?

Sean Gannon vs Brandon Lee Hinkle comes to mind. And is the reason there is 0 chance they match Punk up with a wrestler.

skaboomizzy
Nov 12, 2003

There is nothing I want to be. There is nothing I want to do.
I don't even have an image of what I want to be. I have nothing. All that exists is zero.
CM Punk is gonna get Bart Gunn'd by some schlub who's had three fights at a warehouse in Montana. He'll get wrecked so badly that he'll never pass a WWE physical again. TNA won't care and will sign him so he and Kurt Angle can have a Last Man Standing match. They won't realize until too late that the stipulation is a shoot and the loser will literally spend the rest of their life in a wheelchair.

The end.

colonel_korn
May 16, 2003

HOTLANTA MAN posted:

So UFC guys, what was the most one-sided assbeating in history and does Punk have any potential to get assbeaten on that level?

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x26ymug_gabe-ruediger-vs-joe-lauzon-2010-08-28_sport

Probably couldn't be much worse than this?

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

skaboomizzy posted:

CM Punk is gonna get Bart Gunn'd by some schlub who's had three fights at a warehouse in Montana. He'll get wrecked so badly that he'll never pass a WWE physical again. TNA won't care and will sign him so he and Kurt Angle can have a Last Man Standing match. They won't realize until too late that the stipulation is a shoot and the loser will literally spend the rest of their life in a wheelchair.

The end.

good take, triple h

Cool Post Beg
Mar 6, 2008

DADDY MAGIC
UFC 2 tournament alternate Fred Ettich lying and weeping on the ground while big Johnny Rhodes figured out ground and pound on him was the greatest UFC rear end kicking I have ever seen. Punk won't get beaten that bad. They're stopping fights now.

MysteryNad
Dec 5, 2003

Here in my guard
I feel safest of all
I can lock up my guard
It's the only way to fight
In guard
Punk is at least as qualified a fighter as Herschel Walker was, I have no doubt Joe Silva can find a Greg "Nudge" Nagy for him to fight.

Fentry
Mar 7, 2003



While I don't think this is likely the best move for his health I don't really get people acting like he's basically committing suicide compared to going back to wrestling where when he inevitably also gets a concussion the match doesn't stop. I would wager on his first couple matches being TUF losing grapplers

Dangersim
Sep 4, 2011

:qq:He expended too much energy and got tired:qq:

I'M NOT SURPRISED MOTHERFUCKERS

have you heard of pride

it can get much worse

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LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
BJ Penn beat the poo poo out of Diego Sanchez for 23 minutes

Diego's tactics were: bad wrestling, terrible haymakers, MEAN MUGGING

None of it worked

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