Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«178 »
  • Locked thread
SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010

I got it wrong. Look, I'm well aware I got it wrong and uh, I got it wrong.


Maugrim posted:

Edit: we now have 30 entrants and I'm getting pretty pissed off at the amount of reading I've landed myself with.
Nah, you'll be alright. Weeks where the judge says "sign up and get a thing" ("handout weeks") tend to have a huge number of signups, but also a huge number of failures. There's going to be a ton of people who were more interested in seeing what your generator spat out than actually writing a story. Last time I ran one it had something like 10-15 failures.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

Nah, you'll be alright. Weeks where the judge says "sign up and get a thing" ("handout weeks") tend to have a huge number of signups, but also a huge number of failures. There's going to be a ton of people who were more interested in seeing what your generator spat out than actually writing a story. Last time I ran one it had something like 10-15 failures.

well, until you came along and jinxed it you ruinous luck-stealing swine

I don't care if every last one of you submits, just make it something worth YOUR time, and by extension, my time.

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002


Grimey Drawer

muffin is hella negging u all. everybody better submit.

Bad Ideas Good
Oct 12, 2012


In with Visions Of Sumerian Night.

940 word limit? alright bitch.

Quidthulhu
Dec 17, 2003

Stand down, men! It's only smooching!


I will not submit. Or I will submit a story about unicorns and no metal. I am the realization of the Curse of Muffin.

Barnaby Profane
Feb 23, 2012



Been lurking a while, making a play for the chalice.

Your bot is a miserable exercise in impoverished imitation. If it can cough up something that doesn't sound like a middle-school band of mouth-breathing virgins who just discovered Lovecraft, I'm in.

anime was right
Jun 27, 2008

by R. Guyovich


bye

anime was right fucked around with this message at Oct 27, 2015 around 05:49

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010

I got it wrong. Look, I'm well aware I got it wrong and uh, I got it wrong.


crabrock posted:

muffin is hella negging u all. everybody better submit.
u want the D man?




im sorry but your gonna get the F instead

Ironic Twist
Aug 3, 2008

I'm bokeh, you're bokeh


TWISTA VS. DJ ESCHER FLOOD BRAWL

Antumbra
639 words

We are a dying race, and we accept it. We live with our own death everyday.

I’m standing at the mouth of the tunnel that leads into our sector, working as a sort of night watchman. One good thing the invaders did when they came, drove us below the surface of our planet, was help us evolve, become closer to ideal beings.

I can no longer see, hear, or speak. But I can discern that the mile-long tunnel in front of me contains no exhaled breath, no shifting skin. No threat whatsoever.

Certainly not the invaders. They only exist in our shared thoughts, fables from generations ago, back when our race was still unafraid. Before we became shadows burnt onto walls.

All at once, I feel a creeping dread, some chilling rake across my brain.

My form tightens, and the dread goes away, replaced by a familiar feeling, the feeling laughter would give you if it were something you could touch.

I feel her voice behind me: Anything else crawl up behind you tonight, Ayin?

Don’t scare me like that again, Cedilla, I send back.

Fear is my favorite emotion, Cedilla sends, her tones ricocheting through me and in me. It makes me feel human.

I send warmth back to her. This is how we communicate now. I know Cedilla more intimately than any human ever could. We hold each other in beds made of reassurance and comforting thoughts, press each other up against the walls of our own bodies, share sentiments that no imperfect tongue could produce with sound.

I’m only on duty for a little longer, I send to her. I hate being on the outs.

I can find you anywhere, Cedilla sends back. You can’t hide fRoM mE—

Something is wrong. Her tones are beginning to waver, scatter.

All around me I can sense something new. My feelings and thoughts seem like they’re expanding, pressing against the sides of my form. At the far end of the tunnel, something is poking a hole into me, a small, irritating feeling that’s growing greater by the second.

I try to tell myself it’s someone I know, but my heart sinks as I know better.

WhAT’s haPPEnING—sends Cedilla.

Shadows quickly shrink into nothing on the tunnel walls as the light floods towards us. They’re a glowing swarm, messily devouring every crumb of darkness from the crevices lining the burrowed earth. I feel the sound of something burning, matter being scorched away into nothingness.

Time slows down as they speed up. I know I only have a few seconds.

Thoughts race through my head like a neverending stream of electric shocks. They’re here again. Finally. Finally here to wipe out the lot of us. I should warn somebody. I should tell Cedilla to run. It won’t do any good, they’ll catch us. Maybe one of us can make it to the Sector and warn everyone. Maybe we have a chance to fight back. What weapons do we even have? How can we even defend ourselves?

I only have time to leave her with one thought.

CeDillA, gET dOWn, I send with all of my strength.

She hesitates, and I return the heavy dread she sent me. She recoils, hunches down without giving herself time to think.

I throw myself over her, drape my form around hers, and then they are upon us.

I’m staring directly into the sun and being eaten by it, eyes first. Pain washes over me as they advance, yet still I hold steady, shielding Cedilla from their force.

I am disintegrating. My thoughts are bursting out of me, washing over her like blood.

The light is starting to fade, and so am I.

I place the last bit of me against the base of her mind like a goodnight kiss: Tell them not to hide.

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk

Djeser you have nine minutes before I call in the .

Djeser
Mar 22, 2013



cool ur jets

Gardens

Djeser fucked around with this message at Jan 1, 2016 around 05:21

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face



Nubile Hillock posted:

okay after some deliberation I'm in. Prompt me, you shitloving turdhuffer!!

You get another comedy word insertion.

Agitated Hunger Of The Kittens Of Grandiloquent Infinity (950 word limit)


Benny Profane posted:

Been lurking a while, making a play for the chalice.

Your bot is a miserable exercise in impoverished imitation. If it can cough up something that doesn't sound like a middle-school band of mouth-breathing virgins who just discovered Lovecraft, I'm in.

Hey gently caress you I'll take my lumps but you don't diss the GrimBot

Just for that you're getting the first thing he spits out, rather than the product of skipping through two dozen nonsensical ones. Here:
Dreams Of Apocalyptic Parasite (930 word limit)

Oh that could have been worse.

Maugrim fucked around with this message at Jan 14, 2015 around 08:59

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk

Benny Profane posted:

Been lurking a while, making a play for the chalice.

Your bot is a miserable exercise in impoverished imitation. If it can cough up something that doesn't sound like a middle-school band of mouth-breathing virgins who just discovered Lovecraft, I'm in.

Maugrim posted:

Hey gently caress you I'll take my lumps but you don't diss the GrimBot

Just for that you're getting the first thing he spits out, rather than the product of skipping through two dozen nonsensical ones. Here:
Dreams Of Apocalyptic Parasite (930 word limit)

Oh that could have been worse.

Have a flash rule too - in your story somebody speaks one word too many.

Quidthulhu
Dec 17, 2003

Stand down, men! It's only smooching!


Sebmojo I signed up a while ago but can I have a flash rule that sounds fun and you're handsome

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002


Grimey Drawer

Quidnose posted:

you're handsome

hey i know this is a fiction contest but lets not get carried away here

Barnaby Profane
Feb 23, 2012



Maugrim posted:

Dreams Of Apocalyptic Parasite

I take it back, apparently there's nothing wrong with the Grimbot and the shittiness of the original prompt set can be blamed on operator error.

I'm in, I'll take the flash rule, and for the further glory of Satan I'll slaughter this goat in 900 rather than 930 words.

Your Sledgehammer
May 10, 2010

Don`t fall asleep, you gotta write for THUNDERDOME

Benny Profane posted:

Been lurking a while, making a play for the chalice.

Your bot is a miserable exercise in impoverished imitation. If it can cough up something that doesn't sound like a middle-school band of mouth-breathing virgins who just discovered Lovecraft, I'm in.

Benny Profane posted:

I take it back, apparently there's nothing wrong with the Grimbot and the shittiness of the original prompt set can be blamed on operator error.

I'm in, I'll take the flash rule, and for the further glory of Satan I'll slaughter this goat in 900 rather than 930 words.

Some pretty strong opinions for a first timer. Here's hoping you don't fall flat on your face. (Spoiler alert: You probably will. It's OK, though; you've got about 50 more tries in this thread to get it right.)

Also, you don't take flash rules, you are given them. Accept them with a smile on your face and/or a well-timed insult. This is Thunderdome, not the Unicorn Farts and Rainbows Hugbox for the Emotionally Challenged.

Guiness13
Feb 17, 2007

The best angel of all.

Thanks for the crits!

Benny the Snake
Apr 10, 2012

Whose kitty litter did I shit in?


I'm In with "The Screaming of the Goats"

Oh and I'll do it in 800 words or less

Quidthulhu
Dec 17, 2003

Stand down, men! It's only smooching!


Y'all gonna regret wildly castrating your word count. I prefer brevity myself but you people crazy.

Benny the Snake
Apr 10, 2012

Whose kitty litter did I shit in?


Quidnose posted:

Y'all gonna regret wildly castrating your word count. I prefer brevity myself but you people crazy.

You say "crazy" like it's a bad thing

Barnaby Profane
Feb 23, 2012



Your Sledgehammer posted:

you don't take flash rules, you are given them.

If someone gives you something, do you not take it from them? Are you trying to make a semantic argument here, or are you just being pedantic for the exercise?

Your Sledgehammer posted:

Here's hoping you don't fall flat on your face. (Spoiler alert: You probably will. It's OK, though; you've got about 50 more tries in this thread to get it right.)

I suppose we'll have to see about that.

Your Sledgehammer posted:

This is Thunderdome, not the Unicorn Farts and Rainbows Hugbox for the Emotionally Challenged.

Yeah, we'll see about that one too.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face



Benny Profane posted:

If someone gives you something, do you not take it from them? Are you trying to make a semantic argument here, or are you just being pedantic for the exercise?

Your statement "I'll take the flash rule" appeared to imply that you had some kind of choice in the matter.

I will personally be delighted if your apparent confidence is well-founded, as it will mean the mountain of poo poo I'm expecting to grind through will be 0.9 kiloturds smaller.

Hammer Bro.
Jul 7, 2007

THUNDERDOME LOSER

I don't know if I can handle two Bennies.

One of them is cruisin' for a bruisin' with fightin' words such as "I suppose" and "we'll see about that", and the other thinks he can steal my prompt with no repercussions.

Benny the Elder: Since you're clearly out to get my goat, it's time to bet the farm. But trust me, kid, you're not going to bleat me.

Thunderdome: Set us some stakes.

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk

Quidnose posted:

Sebmojo I signed up a while ago but can I have a flash rule that sounds fun and you're handsome

flash rule only the nose truly knows

Your Sledgehammer posted:

Some pretty strong opinions for a first timer. Here's hoping you don't fall flat on your face. (Spoiler alert: You probably will. It's OK, though; you've got about 50 more tries in this thread to get it right.)

Also, you don't take flash rules, you are given them. Accept them with a smile on your face and/or a well-timed insult. This is Thunderdome, not the Unicorn Farts and Rainbows Hugbox for the Emotionally Challenged.

flash rule face to face in a different place when it all comes crashing down

e: ^^ benny p if you don't wanna fight him i guess that's ok, but it's probably the best way to wipe the smirk off his face

sebmojo fucked around with this message at Jan 14, 2015 around 19:28

Hammer Bro.
Jul 7, 2007

THUNDERDOME LOSER

Naw, I was sayin' that sneaky snakey Benny has already created the majority of a brawl -- we have a shared topic (The Screaming of Goats), we have judges (Maugrim and crew; if we can't decide who they liked better based on their stock judge responses then we're clearly both losers). All we lack are some consequences to up the ante. Mandatory crits, behooved new avatars, epic poetry about the greatness of the winner -- that's what I'm casting to the wind.

I'm keeping a raised eyebrow on Benny the Younger, but I wasn't specifically looking to brawl a first-timer. That wouldn't be fair, what with the multiple brawl win under my belt.

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002


Grimey Drawer

Your Sledgehammer posted:

Some pretty strong opinions for a first timer. Here's hoping you don't fall flat on your face. (Spoiler alert: You probably will. It's OK, though; you've got about 50 more tries in this thread to get it right.)

Also, you don't take flash rules, you are given them. Accept them with a smile on your face and/or a well-timed insult. This is Thunderdome, not the Unicorn Farts and Rainbows Hugbox for the Emotionally Challenged.

dude shut the gently caress up. why every time we get some new person somebody that's only got DMs and losses thinks they need to harrass them? focus on writing a not-poo poo story instead of your petty, trite insults.

People ask for flash rules all the time btw, so you're also objectively wrong.

edit: also benny profane, stop posting in this thread so much dammit

crabrock fucked around with this message at Jan 14, 2015 around 20:34

Djeser
Mar 22, 2013



everyone never post in this thread

legit good advice

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002


Grimey Drawer

Djeser posted:

legit good advice

newtestleper
Oct 30, 2003


Hammer Bro. posted:

Benny the Snake brawl challenge

I will judge this if it is accepted.

Benny the Snake
Apr 10, 2012

Whose kitty litter did I shit in?


Hammer Bro. posted:

I don't know if I can handle two Bennies.

One of them is cruisin' for a bruisin' with fightin' words such as "I suppose" and "we'll see about that", and the other thinks he can steal my prompt with no repercussions.

Benny the Elder: Since you're clearly out to get my goat, it's time to bet the farm. But trust me, kid, you're not going to bleat me.

Thunderdome: Set us some stakes.
Let's do this, fucko

SebmojoNewtestleper, if you'd please?

Edit: Benny Profane, welcome to the 'dome, brother.

Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at Jan 14, 2015 around 20:52

Hammer Bro.
Jul 7, 2007

THUNDERDOME LOSER

I'm still going to beat you on the goatly front, but since I can't communicate clearly then clearly this brawl is mine for the winning.

newtestleper
Oct 30, 2003


Thunderbrawl CXXVII: Homage to Bleriot
Hammer Bro. vs Benny the Snake
Deadline: 22 January 9:30pm NZST
Wordcount: 1500
Toxx: You better believe it. There will be no mercy so get the timezone right.

Prompt:This is Homage to Bleriot by Robert Delaunay


I am rather fond of this painting and would like to read stories inspired by it in some way. I don't care what you take from the painting, be it style, setting, subject matter or anything else. I will be taking the use of the prompt seriously into account when judging. Googling Bleriot might give you something to work with.

Bonus Rule: There will be no characters named Rosa Flores or anything like it allowed from either entrant.

newtestleper fucked around with this message at Jan 14, 2015 around 21:51

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002


Grimey Drawer

this isn't my entry for this week.

The Brawler
631 words

Benny the snake stretched his arms in the air, imagined that they made that popping sound like he’d seen in movies. Instead, the only sound was the gentle scratching of the Windows 95 CD-ROM spinning in his computer: he’d figure out how to turn it off tomorrow.

He flopped into his chair and held his breath as to not inhale in the large poof of dust that always followed. He counted to fifteen, took a gaspy breath, and finished it off with a cough. “Too many cigarettes,” he said. He looked at the pack of cigarettes he’d purchased on his eighteenth birthday five years ago, missing two whole smokes.

Benny checked his email for offers of publication, but it was still strangely silent. He clicked the grenade icon. “gently caress yeah. I will shred the flesh of my enemies like a grenade in a daycare,” the noted pacifist said, without any hint of irony.

His heart pitter-pattered when he saw forty new replies to the Thunderdome thread. His sweaty palms moved the mouse toward the link, but his sausagey fingers fumbled and he clicked three times without hitting anything but empty page. “No worries,” he said, “I have prepared for this my entire life.”

Benny hit Ctrl+L and typed out the full URL to the Thunderdome thread, which he’d spent lonely nights memorizing.

He scrolled through the deluge of poo poo posts and bickering, scanning for any mention of his name. It jumped out at him: “benny.”

“Yes! I was missed!” He looked closer. “Wait, that’s not my name.”

Legitimately confused for several seconds, he realized another poster had entered the dome. “But...but...I’m Benny!” he cried.

He tried scrolling and scanning, but the imposter Benny had ruined his sanctuary. Text blurred through tears, his hands trembled. They were yelling at him, the fake, the interloper. He wanted to shut down the computer right then and there, run into the living room, and bury his face into his mom’s couch. “I can’t, because it’ll ask me to install those updates!” he screamed.

Defeated, he saw the end of the thread was near. He scrolled through, slumped in his chair and wishing for death. Wait, he thought. An edit. It was Benny the Snake. They wanted to fight Beny the snake. He sat up, wiped his tears on his sleeve, and interlocked his fingers. “Click click click,” he said, imagining he was cracking his knuckles like a bad rear end.

There was a challenger, and somebody had stepped up to judge. A brawl. This would be the time he won. He could feel it in his gut. Also the churning of some frijoles he had eaten for breakfast. “I don’t know what those are, but I must stay true to my Mexican heritage,” he said, never having visited Mexico. “Two hours is much too far to travel to visit one’s homeland.”

He stood up and pointed to the ceiling. “I accept your challenge!” his voice cracked. As this would be his moment in the sun, his first brawl win, he couldn’t just have anybody judge. No, it had to be one of his mentors. Somebody who he looked up to, and would gaze down at him with pride and give him one of those small, meaningful nods. Somebody that would say “We knew you could do it Benny. We always had faith in you. Every insult, every snide remark, even banning you from talking to us was all to set you on your path of redemption. Like in the movies.”

Benny smiled, and imagined himself pushing newtestleper to the side. “Sebmojo, if you’d please,” he mouthed as he typed.

“Good job Benny. You’re great.”

He opened his google document.

code:
Rosa Flores was a PI…

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


newtestleper posted:

I am rather fond of this painting

well I USED to like you

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


crabrock posted:

The Brawler
631 words

this is unironically one of the best things you've written in the dome

i mean that in all seriousness, with zero irony

that's what unironically means btw

newtestleper
Oct 30, 2003


Martello posted:

well I USED to like you

Sorry I'm not into Banksy and HR Geiger

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

Martello posted:

this is unironically one of the best things you've written in the dome

i mean that in all seriousness, with zero irony

that's what unironically means btw

this but unironically

Would anyone like a flash rule? I just have the one, but I'd be willing to part with it for the price of one (1) non-lovely story

Fumblemouse
Mar 21, 2013


STANDARD
DEVIANT


Grimey Drawer

Sitting Here posted:

this but unironically

Would anyone like a flash rule? I just have the one, but I'd be willing to part with it
Yeah, Ok

Sitting Here posted:

for the price of one (1) non-lovely story

drat! Will you take an IOU?

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

Fumblemouse posted:

Yeah, Ok


drat! Will you take an IOU?

I'm willing to extend a line of credit, with interest of course.

Flash Rule: Your story must involve someone going from point A to point B. Point B must be somehow important to the story.

  • Locked thread
«178 »