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crabrock posted:This is a pretty boring story that reads more like a teenager's fantasy than an attempt at an adult story. Some girl is sad, she meets her friend, he keeps badgering her and in order to shut him up she fucks him. then she disappears and nobody has grown or changed and nothing has been resolved other than a weird creep took advantage of somebody who needed a friend in order to get himself some of that sweet poon that he was entitled to after he had the courage to let her stick up for him in class. How can we improve it? We read that poo poo is how: Woot woot.
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Jun 3, 2015 20:22
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| # ¿ Sep 15, 2024 02:11 |
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Tyrannosaurus posted:Nah fam. I gotchu. Should I drama read this?
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Jun 3, 2015 21:37
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In, Imma drama read the poo poo outta all of you. E:Wow, way to give KoL the easiest flash rule he'll ever get, a challenge would be the opposite  E2:Double gently caress it, give me one. StealthArcher fucked around with this message at 14:00 on Jun 9, 2015 |
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Jun 9, 2015 13:56
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crabrock posted:
I should write a story about you being angrier and angrier at people writing bad stories and getting off for it until everything blows up around you and the end of my story is just an mp3 of a Morgan freeman impression lamenting the loss of earth to crabrock. On the other hand nah.
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Jun 10, 2015 05:12
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Brawl: WherMonster
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Potential 1081 words + 83 vocal + 300 penalty for vocal = 1464 words "My mother told me as a child to stop making faces; this idea that a simple action overdone may have irreversible consequences." "Pardon, Sir?" "It's a metaphor Benjamin, about your unwillingness to learn. You refute any and all criticism, deflecting it with allusions to a single past event." This is a conversation we've had before, him and I. I judged him in his attempt to enter to this career, a nepotism entry of the finest, allowing him in on the smallest of margins. Told him at his ceremony, rather offhandedly, that he 'had potential'. Everybody has potential, it's a meaningless concept to state like that. I, to this day, wish I had gone with my own judgement and denied him instead. The superiors, however, have advanced him along the ranks, covering his rear end with too many ended careers to count. I woke with a start. My headboard was shaking again. "Just a test Rock, go back to..." I paused, there were no tests scheduled. We were in the middle of diplomatic problems. Launching any now would easily end the talks and send us to war, test or no. I stormed into the control room for our silo, "Whose authorization was that launch under!?" "General Sneke's sir." "Not this again", I thought. 'General' Sneke was my old hire made a manifest nightmare. Now equal in rank to me, he often played politics with our jobs. He had never gone and done something so foolhardy, however. "Why are we doing tests now!?", nobody here could answer, simply following their orders, "We're in the middle of talks over these things, we can't be jeopardizing" I noticed that the displays were showing targets all over the world, a far cry from our usual tests. These were akin to an Armageddon launch. "I'm the commander of this silo, I'll make the decisions I will General Rock." I spun to see him, now sporting a third star. He had climbed in rank through his connections again, this time in mere weeks. "We're going with the Commander's suggestions. They can have their diplomacy, we will show them why we don't need it. We'll show them we can bathe the world in the glow." I just stared agape. "Not actually doing it old man, simply showing the capability. Regardless, I'm sensing some hostility to this idea. Security, remove the general if you would." I had no weapon, and no rank to push, so I went with the security. No sooner had we left the room, then it's large blast doors shut, locking us out. The guard on my left radioed in, wanting to see why. He got only a reply of a short scream and a gunshot before being cut off. The halls went red, the emergency lights had come on. There was another tremor, and then one more. The guards were now radioing and banging on the door about what was going on. I took this opportunity to run off for the engineering hall, all I needed was a console, any one. Getting in was a mess, nearly being trampled by the people running out. The tremors were now coming every 10 or so seconds. He had straight up explained his plan, locked me out and done them, what else could it be? I worked on the console as fast as I could, desperately trying to open the blast doors, when I saw them open on a nearby video screen. I grabbed a pistol on the desk and headed back. Running back, I came across an empty hallway. The guards were gone, and the room from what I could see from here was empty. I ran in, I just had to get to the controls and stop further launches, maybe it hadn't gotten to.. *THUD* I was stopped short by a rifle butt to my face. Sneke was there, he had just been hiding. "What are you doing!?", I managed to sputter out through the blood from my mouth. "Simply what I was hired to. You don't bring in anyone who gives an air of greatness, they monitor those. You just make up a rich young.." I took this opportunity to draw my weapon. "Ohhh, hoho, got yourself a piece in that short time huh." "Whatever I need to do to" "Stop this? Old man, I opened those doors. I'm not about to let you in if you can stop poo poo gently caress all. The last one launched as I hit you." I held the pistol at him as I realized what this meant. "Every one of those warheads has already done it's job, those new ones reach their targets in seconds, even across the globe. Now come on, I hate you, for sure, but the higher ups want you alive for some reason. I'm supposed to take you to the bunker before we leave this burning husk to rot while we wait it out." I couldn't move, I couldn't think even. The world was easily under huge clouds of ash and smoke, most people easily dead, especially if this was a coordinated effort. This silo had over 3000 ready missiles at all times, just on it's own. "Alright Rock, you're senile mind's had enough time to process. Newsflash, you can't stop them. Now come on. "No, you're right", I spat out some blood from my wound, "Even I can't stop those after they leave the silo hole." "Good to hear you've admitted it, now get your rear end in the bunker and we'll see what we do wi.." Cutting him off, "But I can launch more." He stared for a bit, wondering if I'd gone mad, finally sputtering out through laughter, "Oh, crabby old man Rock wants to blow the civvies up even harder? Hah! Okay, do it. There isn't going to be poo poo left either way." Finally reaching the console I'd been gunning for this whole time, I entered my code, the details and authorized the launch. The destination came up on screen; it only took him the seconds till the launch was under way to notice the target. "Woah old timer, all at the same spot. Who pissed you o...", trailing as he recognized the spot. The bunker was strong, but 100 warheads were, how you say, very convincing. "Wait, no. No. You loving INSANE BASTARD.", he yelled, bringing his weapon back up. "I can't stop the end. I can just make it equal." I saw him pull the trigger as the flames engulfed us both...
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Jun 14, 2015 20:35
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Cache Cab posted:Sorry to bother the thread again, but how do I get another avatar? My last one was not very pleasant and I feel like it misrepresented my views about child rearing, but it at least made it easy to find my posts in threads. I like to be able to scroll through a thread quickly and find my last post so that I can continue reading the rest of the thread from that point. Without an avatar, it is very hard to find my last post because I have to read all the names. I have looked in my settings but I do not see anything. At the top of the page there is a link to pay for premium avatars, but I just want a basic one with an icon. Thank you. Congrats, that's the basic avatar. That'll be 5 bucks. E: Hah, your post history in here speaks volumes. I've written in REAL books you gaiz how dare you not give me all the wins 
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Jun 15, 2015 19:32
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crabrock posted:Skwid, looks like Bluewher is gonna eat a toxx and get banned, so you'll probably win by default (unless this is an elaborate ruse to get you to give up). Still, you should work on your story and post it by the deadline and I'll give you an in-depth crit. Crabs ol fruit, I don't really give a goddamn about winning or losing the run this week, I just want to know if you're hatred of Benny lives on through my write/voiceup.
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Jun 15, 2015 20:27
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I'm up to judge with voice reviews for the winner and loser if you'll have me. I don't know if asking is taboo or wtf.
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Jun 16, 2015 10:03
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And I was hoping for kitties and unicrons with this. gently caress it. ANIMEWASRIGHT THE DRAMATIC READING
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Oct 27, 2015 16:05
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Okay, I made that last one over KoL laughing at the guy editing all his poo poo out. However, Broenheim seems to have made a much better drama post to drama read! BROENHEIM SLAPS DOWN HIS DIGNITY E: Audiobrawled, eat a dick. StealthArcher fucked around with this message at 16:46 on Oct 27, 2015 |
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Oct 27, 2015 16:40
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Obliterati posted:u mad, Bro? I don't care how this goes down or whoever is judging. You are both getting crits by me. In voice. If you fail to submit you get the YOLO420~ special crit.
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Oct 27, 2015 21:20
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newtestleper posted:gently caress it, I quit the thunderdome and SA. I'll take the stupid toxx ban I don't even give a gently caress. HE QUIT ALRIGHT 
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Oct 28, 2015 16:52
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Thank god for me.
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Oct 28, 2015 20:13
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RedTonic posted:Later archeologists were underwhelmed by the miniscule scale of the ur-dick. That the primordial dick was measured in millimeters made rational sense, but was emotionally unrewarding for those who had expected something at least on the scale of the Venus figures. The figure was also revealed to be giving off milliHitler radiation when the main examiner called his partner an out of nowhere series of racial slurs and was promptly decked out cold. The statue has been put under quarantine while protective suits are flown in.
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Nov 2, 2015 16:11
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You are all weirdos. 
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Nov 3, 2015 06:58
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Fumblemouse posted:Sebmojo and Surreptitious Muffin are unofficially banned from posting for the next 24 hours because shut the gently caress up already and try to become actually funny to someone else besides each other sometime soon. Thunderdome is not your personal GIF contest, and if you are that hot for each other take it to the fiction farm like everyone else doesn't. Drama detected. TARGET LOCKED
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Nov 3, 2015 10:17
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Killer-of-Lawyers posted:In, give me a place, someone! Yellowknife, Northwest Territories, CA  gently caress you I'mma do what I want.
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Nov 3, 2015 19:06
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crabrock posted:I'm taking it as you're volunteering to judge? :P Judging the utter destruction of my beloved hometown? gently caress yes, Judge Barry Plinkett is totes in.
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Nov 3, 2015 21:20
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crabrock posted:also all the other stories. Read irc you queefalot.
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Nov 3, 2015 21:55
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Incidentally, THIS HAPPENED TOO
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Nov 3, 2015 22:13
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sebmojo posted:do voice crits Well yeah, I mean, I've done one TD round and I'm now a judge. You bet I'm in for comedic stylings as a crutch. I mean, I'll do crits like everybody else, but vocal ones is totally how its going down. Fumblemouse posted:Not enough drunken slurring to be a truly accurate rendition, but it's nice you could "make it your own" as the reality karaoke shows say. Barry is not Harry.
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Nov 4, 2015 12:19
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spectres of autism posted:in. ty in advance for a cool and unique city  Bern, Switzerland Good luck with a city surrounded by mountains. Dowhatthefuckiwant.txt
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Nov 5, 2015 10:35
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Alexandria, Egypt Once the home of the world's greatest store of knowledge, now the home of your story's boot. On it's face. Pompeii, Roman Empire Circa 79 CE  Vesuvius blows, Lava isn't what came out. Djeser posted:do crit voices San Antionio, TX  A riverwalk, two Air Force bases, an Army fort, and a city of Don't Mess with Gun Toter Texans.
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Nov 5, 2015 15:54
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Parkour Lewis posted:In, I suppose. Guadalajara, MX  Information industry, cathedrals, a meeting of religion and technology. Also second only to that pesky 'Uncreatively Named City' in people to bring to bear.
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Nov 5, 2015 16:33
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madpanda posted:out Welp, another section to add, ... TO THE SCRIPT
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Nov 8, 2015 22:37
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Beggar is in, I'm deccing the thunderdome week 170 finished.
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Nov 9, 2015 10:56
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Propaganda Machine posted:And I wasn't mindful of the deadline (sorry! I'm new here! I am trying to figure this out), but dude, Perth is hosed even without a kaiju. Toxx urself before Plinkett Rocks ur elf. And by elf I mean your lungs. With cans of RAID. In his creepy basement.
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Nov 9, 2015 12:05
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So yeah, as the resident worst writer and voiceman, this was fun. I'll have the long rear end vocal crit/thing up hopefully by Friday (long and quality takes time yo). If anyone wants me as an easy subjudge again, feel free to pm or whatever.
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Nov 10, 2015 10:42
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Blood Queen gets a loss Mojo gets DM poo poo is all hosed up In this writer's den KoL and Thyrork go unscathed But the judging now is done Kaiju were the catalyst To end her perfect run Thunder Dome Thunder Dome It's a screwed up place Kayfabe rules everything And we tell it to your face Thunder Dome Thunder Dome You can't avoid your loss Duhumanize your worthless self And Face To Blood Shed Booooooooooooss 
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Nov 10, 2015 12:12
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Broenheim posted:moon man, prompt us alrdy im dying over here Gonna start pushing the vocal crits back the more you whine
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Nov 10, 2015 17:54
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:I wasn't in last week so imma whine on their behalf Saturday
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Nov 10, 2015 20:51
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:lol where is the prompt Sunday
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Nov 10, 2015 20:55
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:the moral of the story is that, given the tiniest amount of power possible, StealthArcher finds a way to abuse it and be a prick Limerick Brawl Accepted Because Writing is Writing This much remains true My name is StealthArcher and I loving hate you
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Nov 10, 2015 21:04
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:
lol
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Nov 10, 2015 21:13
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sebmojo posted:Toxx up, kids. LIMERICK BRAWL  to IN to WINStack em up Muffin. (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
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Nov 11, 2015 08:23
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