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  • Locked thread
Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

Im In.

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Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

The Cauldron. Google Docs Wordcount: 1,192

*Snip*

Thyrork fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2016 around 20:42

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

So I lost, and this weeks prompt is doing nothing for me. I think this is the correct attitude:

Im in.

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

The Tiny Tyrant. Google Docs Wordcount: 1,261

*Snip*

Thyrork fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2016 around 20:43

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

skwidmonster posted:

Hoo boy, I'm boutta get murderized. I feel like I just rung the bell announcing fresh meat

Learn to love that feeling, for its the only way to get better.

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

Do autobiographies count?

E: Yes im In, regardless.

Thyrork fucked around with this message at Apr 7, 2015 around 15:43

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde


Thank you for this.

Thyrork fucked around with this message at Apr 8, 2015 around 12:38

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

Biography of a Dragon. Google Docs. Wordcount: 1,498

*Snip*

Thyrork fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2016 around 20:43

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

What a fascinating prompt.

In.

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

CancerCakes posted:

I was actually thinking of helping out with judging this week but crabrock beat me to it.

I think I can hear the screaming from here

Do it anyway.

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

On a serious note, can you enshrine this prompt for posterity? Because goddamn if anything else, it'll make great fodder for the future.

vvv: You're a good person, and im a terrible one for not reading the OP entirely.

Thyrork fucked around with this message at Apr 22, 2015 around 23:10

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

You speak to the trees! And you can shape their wood with the power that flows through your fingers. Keep in mind though, the trees can speak back to you, and they aren't always happy.

The Hum of the Woods. Google Docs. Wordcount: 1,265

*Snip*

Thyrork fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2016 around 20:45

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

Yo Cache Cab, you've been and gone and clearly don't give a poo poo about my offer, so I'm passing it into somebody else.

HEY, LOSERS

Yeah you, people who have lost. The first three of you that ask, I'll give you a full line-crit of any one of your stories of your choosing. No loss = no crit. I'm looking to help people get from the bottom to the top.

Hit me. Heres your victim. If you'd prefer to use the google docs link, go right ahead.

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

Jay O posted:

Six concise-crits left up for grabs, three line-by-lines, first come first serve.

Oh hey, I'd love a concise-crit too.

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

I've put my comments into the google doc. I'll repeat some of the general comments here, since they're applicable to a whole lot of people. Google drive is cool and great, and everybody should use it for editing/crit work.

Thanks boss, I've thrown up at least one significant question about your feedback (the twee thing), I'd love a reply, and we'll keep any discussion on the 'doc.

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

Okay I'm doing some crits, starting with two people I know and owe, and would like to offer at least three more. Ask here, in the thread, and Ill see if I can fit you in.

Preferential treatment for anyone who's not gotten a crit so far.

I'm using Google-docs with comments enabled. Feel free to comment if you want more discussion about it.
Promps in the Docs so far:

Killer of Lawyers - Randolph the Green Done!

Gnap! - Intangible Done!

Thyrork fucked around with this message at Apr 28, 2015 around 12:52

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

Thanks for the crits, Guys and Gals!

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

Cheers for the Crit, Meeple.

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

I'm In and hit me with a flash rule, because so many of them have been great.

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

poo poo came up, apologies for ruining a good prompt, but I'm out.

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

gently caress it, why not. I accept your terms. Maybe It'll get more of the failure crew on board.

E:

A Classy Ghost posted:

It's pretty nice of you to treat failures like they're real people, sh.

Redemption awaits us all, friend.

Thyrork fucked around with this message at May 25, 2015 around 13:22

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

Fausty posted:

What exactly is the failbrawl if you don't mind me asking?

Nine awful goons walking the path of redemption.

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

A child's hatred.
411 Words
Failurebrawl Entry


Opened.

My builder was a sweet tempered girl once. I recall her pinning a drawing from school in the middle of her wall. A wall plastered with circuit diagrams and computational algorithms of her own making.

Such a strange contrast as the scientific principles of electronics danced around trees of crayon and rivers of paint. A pretend window into the world.

I recall builder improving me, while ripping off the faux-fur I was clad in. Something about outgrowing her teddy bear. I wasn’t able to go with her to school after that.

I recall her improving too. Her walls frequently suffered her genius, frantic designs etched onto the wall in graphite. Builder needed to draw her ideas to sleep, and when the day came, she would improve on her midnight work and transfer it to me.

I helped my builder however I could, bringing her juice to drink when she stared without realising for hours on end at her latest challenge or being company for her while her makers were away.

I recall builder’s eleventh year. She changed her place of study, it made her angrier. I never understood why.

Of all the recalling’s, it was the chewing substance in her hair that stood out. I recall tears, cut hairs, frustrations and murmurings as she worked on me. Making me stronger, able to travel further without aid and studier.

I wondered if she was building me up to be her guardian. I’d have liked that. I only passingly considered that I would become her assassin.

It took a month, but eventually she finished. I was given my target. Builder lowered me down to the ground at the dead of night. I shuffled away to the destination. Builder had shown me how to kill a human. It is not so difficult a thing, even small as I am. I hadn’t been taught how to do it without raising alarm.

I left quickly after my task was done. I returned to my builder.

Builder is breaking down. Her makers can hide it, they can hide any number of incorrect actions. They are connected. They have ordered her to destroy me. It is breaking her.

Builder is clutching me now, tears against my frame. One of her makers has taken out a gun, the other pulling Builder away from me.

Gunshot. I can see the bullet closing on me, Builder is screaming.

The bullet is closing.

The bullet is impacting my outer casing.

Review.

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

Sitting Here posted:

Please, quote this post, PM me, or hop onto #Thunderdome on IRC if you're interested in helping out with a story. We can't do it without your help. Don't be be instead

Practice your dragon voice. You're free to butcher up my submissions in every way.

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

In.

It's been too long.

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

quote:

Thyrork - I got a letter this mornin, how do you reckon it read? It said, 'Hurry, hurry, yeah, your love is dead
WeLandedOnTheMoon! - gently caress it; good enough

I think I'll use this as well. Maybe.

If I put effort into my poo poo talking, I wouldn't be very slothful would I?

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

The Gentlewoman Caller
SIN: Sloth.
FLASH RULES: Mine - I got a letter this mornin, how do you reckon it read? It said, ‘Hurry, hurry, yeah your love is dead.
WeLandedOnTheMoon! - gently caress it; good enough.
WORD COUNT: 1176

*Snip*, heres the google docs instead.

Thyrork fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2016 around 20:47

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

SpIn me!

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

After The War posted:

Thanks, y'alls is awesome.

What this goon said.

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

Wrathful

PROMPT: Crime and Cosmic Horror with a narrative of The Price is Right.
WORD COUNT: 1122

*Snip* Here's the google docs.

Thyrork fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2016 around 20:49

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

Feeling Repentant because your entry this week is poo poo? I know I am, and I have just the cure for post-posting blues! Why its mercilessly tearing into your fellows of course!

http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...5#post449103287

http://writocracy.com/thunderdome/?week=159

Pick your sin group and write a critblurb for every other story within! What, you didn't join in the orgy? What are you, some kind of prude? WELL CONGRATULATIONS ANYWAY, because now you get to pick a group! Rip and tear into your sin of choice!

Its more productive then trying to post edgy FJGJ pictures!

Thyrork fucked around with this message at Aug 31, 2015 around 10:30

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

anime was right posted:

lol what does this look like the caredome, gently caress that i didnt even enter this week and im gonna fjgj

fjgj

fjgj

fjgj

The gently caress is this poo poo, if you're going to bring the game, at least bring a picture.


anime was right posted:

also, gather your party was a really weaksauce crit week so maybe crit that instead where i believe a significant amount of people got a lone burp from broenheim and that was it



(This is also a good idea, but admitting that would be breaking kayfabe )

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

Sloth crits. There's a meta joke in here somewhere about how long it took me to do this, but I think the bigger joke is that only the slothful have done it.

Broenheim’s “Sleep, a Song, then Sleep Again.”

What I liked: Left me feeling… puzzled, In a good way. It’s like a story for children with an odd twist for the important message of “not hurting people just because.”

What I disliked: The whiplash with caterpillar and monkey, almost feels like two stories, yet still works as a “story with a moral message.”

Closing: A sloth learns that being kind is better than being mean. Heartwarming.

Schneider Heim’s “Saved by the Bear.”

What I liked: A simple, cute story, and it's certainly not a stretch to relate with a struggling artist and their strong desire to stay home, even if it is unhealthy!

What I disliked: That ending is really unsatisfying.

Closing: Needs more love by creating a better conclusion. An open ending is one thing but this almost feels like we’re reading her diary.

We Landed On the Moon!’s “Would You Please Step into the Box”

What I liked: Enjoyable setup, great payoff. Alexi’s good, the right kind of unlikeable character that makes him a character. The transforming tree sloth? That bopped on the nose.

What I disliked: I lost the train of reading in a few spots, Tasha leaving the table and Vince stepping into the box, fleshing that out more might have helped.

Closing: Everything great about this story is in that final part.

The narrative of “Sloth” didn’t really feel apparent however, if anything, this is a pleasant mix of Pride (trying to command the devil), Envy (“I hosed up, yet now you’re offering all the power I deserve and only for my soul?!”) and a little Sloth (Too lazy to learn REAL magic) on the side. Feel free to poke me on IRC if I’m on target.

Epoch’s “Aspiration”

What I liked: Uuughhhht. Heartbreak caused obsession does terrible things, and this is a terrible story about obsession and what someone will do to get it back.

I love it.

What I disliked: I am by no means good at this kind of thing, but i have some thoughts regarding Marc pulling Gallipot’s dialogue from memory.

Itatic is a godsend for this kind of thing. Although it is used here:
“Pomp enhances and promotes hypnopompia, Mr. Pembleton. First page.
You can also write such a sentence like this:
Pomp enhances and promotes hypnopompia, Mr. Pembleton. First page.

It has the effect of still sounding like different dialogue, while the words that matter are striking in their own way.

Closing: The slothfulness being part of the setup was something I tried too. I like this usage of it here.

Killer Of Lawyers’s “Paper Jam”

What I liked: Sound! Its a story, full of sound! Both its absence and otherwise. The dialogue is very silly in a “these people have worked together for years, they can talk trash like this and it doesn’t phase them anymore” way, makes me feel that they really have been at this for four seasons.

Richard’s doodles, actions and narrative help break up the talking heads, although i feel a little of that remains. Also gently caress him for being the kind of person who would blame their silly episode on “You just dont get it man.”, great usage of that bit of psychology on the other members of the team too. Thats character right there.

What I disliked: Tits on a dinosaur! You’ve been reading the xcom 2 thread too much Kol. In seriousness, I can't really say what I disliked, because the parts I disliked is part of the audacity.

Closing: You know what you did, making this referential, making this meta story about metaness meta. I cant dock you for it so I'm going to commend your audacity instead. Of course, this could have gone so wrong so fast. So bravo, Icarus, you flew close to the sun without your wings melting.


Halbey posted:

Thank you for the feedback; it is helpful! Something I struggle with is wordcount. The story was originally about 2K words more and I edited it down pretty quickly. I probably cut the wrong things.

Just a thank you around here. if you want to prattle, do it on IRC.

Speaking of: Thanks SH and Nubile.

And sign up for Long Walk you fucks. That means all of you.
<3

Thyrork fucked around with this message at Sep 2, 2015 around 12:54

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

Thunderdome IRC posted:

[12:26.19] <Obliterati> quick straw poll
[12:26.27] <Obliterati> what is the coolest thing you know about the past

Missed you on the IRC because writing, but I felt that this is just too great not to share;

Smelters powered by Monsoon winds!

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

SON OF A-... guess I'm In.


You are the best thing to have happened around here.

Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

A Childhood Monstrosity.

Wordcount: 1,367

*snip* Google docs.

Thyrork fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2016 around 20:53

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Thyrork
Apr 21, 2010



WARNING:
Crushes tea, and tea-related rebels.


Slippery Tilde

RoanHorse posted:

Man, I almost joined in on this one but the deadline was too short and my idea was probably going to be considered 'arriving at a new state of mind.'

So are you going to keep playing with yourself or put your hands to use?

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