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ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011




in for this one.

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ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011




Wangless Wonder posted:

bowing out, in for next one w/ toxx

same. :toxx:

ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011




in with :toxx:

ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011




You're on, bruh.

ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011




*

ravenkult fucked around with this message at 19:24 on Oct 22, 2015

ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011




I'll take a graph crit!

ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011




J.A.B.C. posted:

A Distant Hand

You have various spelling issues and your tenses are all over the place. I'm not sure your story has a conflict at any point. The protagonist was somewhat developed, but I didn't really give a poo poo about the pilot and her plight. I know you didn't have a lot of room to work with, but still. I expected the ending to be less telegraphed. That was disappointing. I didn't hate your story, but I didn't really find anything interesting in it either.

Cache Cab posted:

Cities Fall Yet Rivers Still Flow 960 Words.


Thank your submitting your story, ''Cities Fall Yet Rivers Still Flow'' to Thunderdome Magazine. I'm sorry to say this is not a good story and I don't really know why you wrote it. The post apocalyptic Deliverance thing is interesting, but you spent way too many words trying to be edgy and not enough developing a plot other than ''A wizard kills two guys, or whatever, man.''


You've got some awkward phrasing and various spelling mistakes. Nothing a read-through wouldn't fix. I didn't mind the world building, although I would have preferred if you'd spent some time on creating something interesting in that world and not just made up names. The ending ''reveal'' was kinda interesting, so I wish you'd spent more than a couple of sentences on that rather than the fight scene. Decent.

ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011





Your crits are bad and lazy, your reading comprehension is lacking. Let's duke it out.

ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011




in with :toxx:

ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011




Entenzahn posted:

Attn wizard week toxxers: I promised you wizard week crits but since there's been a fuckton of them flying around already I'll instead give you the pick of any of your TD entries. Just let me know what you want critted. I'll probably start going through the list by Sunday so if I haven't heard from you till then you get your regular old wizard crit.

The list again: Broenheim, Wangless Wonder, ravenkult, newtestleper, Dr. Kloctopussy, Benny the Snake, skwidmonster, kurona_bright, curlingiron, Auraboks, Doctor Idle, Maugrim

Also thanks for the crits sh, crabman, beefman, hammerman, maugriman and tonicboy aka the half-a-dirty-dozen

I'm letting you off the hook on mine because it's terrible. Unless you want to crit this week's entry.

ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011




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ravenkult fucked around with this message at 19:24 on Oct 22, 2015

ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011




in, flash me.

ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011




Entenzahn posted:



ravenkult - Nine Wolves
That ritual works so well it might as well have a “Made in China” label stuck to it


Thanks for the crit Ent!

ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011




I'm bowing out, :toxx: for next week.

ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011




Sitting Here posted:



Your prompt is to tell me a story from the perspective of the villain's pet monster. The word count is 600 words. The due date, if any of you should rise to the challenge, will be 11:59:59 PM PST on Wednesday, May 27th. The winner will get a brawl victory, a line crit, and the knowledge that they aren't as much of an abject failure as the rest.


I can do 600 words. I'm in.

ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011




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ravenkult fucked around with this message at 19:24 on Oct 22, 2015

ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011




I'm in.

:toxx:

ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011




I'm bowing out. BAN ME

ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011




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ravenkult fucked around with this message at 19:25 on Oct 22, 2015

ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011





A gentleman and a scholar. Thanks.

ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011




yo, spin that bitch

ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011




:toxx: spin!

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011




I'm out, gents and ladies.

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ravenkult
Feb 3, 2011




In for the spoopy shenanigans.

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