Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Posthumor
Jan 13, 2015

~amine~
I would like to signup please! (First Thunderdrome yay!)

Posthumor fucked around with this message at 22:14 on May 19, 2015

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Posthumor
Jan 13, 2015

~amine~
Oh yes flash rule. In?

Posthumor
Jan 13, 2015

~amine~
i'm a failure sign me up for failure bowl

Posthumor
Jan 13, 2015

~amine~
FAILUREBOWL

Rocky Loves Papa

Words: 595

Rocky just wants to make Papa happy.

He sits all day in the alcove overlooking the throne, ever since that fateful day when Papa found him, years ago. He'd stumbled upon Rocky when wandering through the mountainside. Beset by a sudden rainstorm, he’d sought respite beneath Rocky’s mighty flank. It was the first time that Rocky, a mountain dweller, had seen a human up close. With a matted beard down to his collarbone and shirtless from the waist up, he looked nothing like Papa now. Rocky was never very good at distinguishing fleshy things and almost took him for a giant, tumorous squirrel. But squirrels never needed to paw at his crevices to get around.

“They’ve spotted me,” the man muttered, clambering behind Rocky. His legs kept getting caught knee-deep in the muck. Several hundred feet away, at the bottom of the slope where Rocky lay perched, a mass of several dozen similarly-deformed squirrels had gathered. They seemed to be yelling, pointing up at Rocky and clutching torches.
The man clutched his hands together and screamed: “Please, somebody help me!”

Rocky concentrated. Slowly, he tipped over, then began sliding down the slope, trailing mud behind him, straight into the fleshy carpet. It was all too fast. They were caught in the mudslide and crushed underneath. Exhausted, Rocky rested at the bottom of the slope.

The shirtless man emerged from underneath a mud pile. Covered head to toe in dirt, he walked into the pile of bodies, eyes wide, and began laughing. He ran into the woods.

Rocky dreamt dreamless rock dreams.

--

Soon after, a dozen more creatures arrived. They said kind things about Rocky, declared him a hero, a savior. They placed him atop wooden boards and dragged him somewhere far away from his slope, to a stone structure in the middle of a great flatness. There, a familiar man emerged – the same one who’d sought refuge under him on that rainy day. This time he was clean shaven and clothed in fine fabrics.

The man put his body against Rocky. His fully outstretched arms were only a third of Rocky’s radius. He whispered:

“My salvation… arrived through you… From this day forward, we will never part…”

--

Before the Duke, a man takes off his hat and holds it to his chest. Eyes wide, he glances around the audience chamber – lined with precious jewels, it’s the most extravagant thing he’s even seen. His fingers twitch in sequence as he calculates how many lifetimes’ wages went into its construction. He runs out of fingers.

“M’Lord, I’m a representative from the council of villages. I’ve come to deliver a list of grievances,” he glanced up at the Duke. The severe man was seated on an throne of pure gold.

For a long while, the Duke said nothing. Finally, he made a hand signal and said:

“You are excused,”

“A-and the list?”

“Hand it to the guard on your way out.”

The man turned to leave.
Walking toward the exit, he passed through a strangely rough area of flooring. The hall’s exquisite stonework was cracked there. That’s strange, he thought. The rest is so-

SPLAT

Right on cue, Rocky fell from his trap door on the ceiling.

Only chunky human salsa remained. The Duke broke into his howling laughter. It continued at Rocky was lifted via a pulley system back into his alcove. A servant hosed the chunks of meat off him. The Duke still laughed, for what seemed like hours and hours. Rocky was proud, happy that Papa was happy. It was another good day.

Posthumor
Jan 13, 2015

~amine~
Writing "mostly technically competent" on my tombstone~

(tombrock)

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Posthumor
Jan 13, 2015

~amine~
I'm in for gambling & would like flash rule.

  • Locked thread