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HWPS
Apr 3, 2015
Hello. I am in.

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HWPS
Apr 3, 2015
I'll be your guide

Thank you for visiting Schecter House on historic Temple Street, located right here in Graus Township.
My name is Anne, and I spell that with an E on the end. I say that now because you'll need to note that at the conclusion of our tour when you're filling out your comment cards, and by law I cannot repeat the spelling of my name again. I can tell you there are two other guides named Ann, but they do not spell their names the correct way, which, as I just said, you've now been told and won't be told again.
All of us here at Schecter House, under the lawful administration of Temple Street Historical Society, welcome you and hope you'll find your experience memorable. Before we get started, there are a couple of please and thank yous and three big no-nos that I am required, again by law, to go over.
It'll be painless, I promise!
So, as a courtesy to all of our guests, please refrain from eating, drinking, or excessive noise-making during your time here. If, for some reason, there are any cell phones, cameras (film or digital), portable AM/FM radios, two-way radios, two-way pagers, traditional pagers, listening devices, recording devices (audio or visual), remote controllers of any kind, personal data assistants (including Newtons), stenography machines, those things you put in your pants pocket to cheat at cards, tracking devices, transmitters, or anything electronic, battery-, or man-powered, including pacemakers, that you have not left at the coat check, please take this time to do so now.
We will wait.
Hey there. What's your name?
Katie?
That's a pretty name. Do you spell it IE at the end?
You do? Great! You know, that's the proper way to spell it.
It is, it is.
It...is with a K, right?
Oh, good, good.
So, Katie, it gets a little boring waiting on some people, doesn't it?
I agree.
It's a little inconsiderate when some people don't follow the rules the first time they hear them!
Why, I bet no one ever has to wait for you to --
All right?
Great.
Now, the three big no-nos you can see if you look up where I'm pointing.
Everyone see?
They'll only stay lit for five...four...three...two...and done. Is everybody ready?
Great.
And right before we get going, I'll ask everyone to look down at your feet. Everyone see that big orange stripe?
Great. Just making sure no one here is color blind. The people who sold you your tickets should have asked, but mistakes do happen. As you've already heard, it's for the safety of all of our guests and for ours as well that we ask. This was all in the video, and I know you're all ready to get moving, but legally I am required to ask, and we don't want to start off on the wrong foot, now do we?
All right.
Now, if everyone is ready -- Katie, you ready? Of course you are, of course. All right.
Good.
As we begin, please don't forget to refrain from touching, pointing at, breathing heavily on, or looking at for more than 30 seconds at a time anything on the tour both for your well-being and mine. We here at Schecter House want you to enjoy your visit and be able to come back to see us!
It's true! Here we go.


Our first stop.
Did you forget what my voice sounded like? Or what sound even was or if it existed?
We get that a lot.
The complete and utter silence you've just experienced for the, oh, about 45 minutes by now, is due to the incredible noise-canceling acoustics of the main hallway, which stretches approximately the length of seven football fields and contains parts of which are still being mapped even as we speak.
I mean, even as I speak, because you all are still being good little shushy tushies, isn't that right, Katie?
Okay!
Now, let's all turn to the right on the count of -- I'm just joshing with you!
Why, you are completely at ease to turn either to the right or left at any time during your visit at Schecter House, although you might find it a bit like inserting a freshly plucked hair back into the pore! Due to the unique construction of Schecter House, it's actually physically impossible to face any way but forward while inside its hallways, the only opportunities to do so being within its multitude of landings and further array of rooms, the number of which I am bound by the law set forth by Graus Township not to tell you.
Many liken the seemingly maze-like corridors to lava tubes, and I admit, the walls are scratchy! You have been such a polite group, and I appreciate you not asking how I got this scar that stretches very nearly the entire length of my body.
From neck to knees, as they say! Except practically all the left side -- Katie, eyes front -- of my body has been hideously scarred, including my face.
A wreck up from the neck up!
They say that too, outside. Not here though.
So, as we look to the right now and all appreciate the opportunity to do so we will observe the first stop on our journey: the foyer or, as the Schecters called it, the fourth room.
As an aside, the three rooms that preceded this room are not visible to to the public nor to any human eyes.
The foyer was decorated by Mr. Schecter who was himself an avid interior designer. However, we all know that the true finesse and the majority of the house's interiors are a la Mrs. Schecter, who oversaw the construction and outfitting of every room and passage in Schecter House, save for, of course, this one.
The fourth room.
There are two places in particular your eye will land, both by nature and by design.
All right?

Everyone who can, please face front again so we can continue our tour.

This particular hallway, as you can see, has been modified; Schecter House employees, including myself, have installed Lucite walls, 7/8 of inch thick, that follow the contours of the existing hall. This addition allows for audible sound but only from certain frequencies.
Keep walking, please.
As you also know, Mrs. Schecter was born in 1881 and was, by everyone's account, not a beauty. I am required by law to state this.
At the age of 16, Mrs. Schecter --
What...what was that?
Did someone say something?
No?
I thought I heard someone say something. I thought I heard someone ask if Mrs. Schecter had a first name.
I thought that was odd, and that's why I stopped walking, and why we all stopped walking, because I thought I had already told everyone the rules.
I must have been mistaken.
Silly me.

Yes, I'm sure I was just imagining someone interrupting the tour.

All right.
Moving on.
Mrs. Schecter, at the age of 16, left her birthplace with her parents' blessing and traveled an entire three houses down and arrived here at this house on Temple Street.
Upon her arrival, Mrs. Schecter met Mr. Schecter, and the two were lawfully wed in accordance with the rules set forth by Graus Township. Soon after, Mrs. Schecter set about her wifely duties also in accordance with the law.
The first order of business was verification.
We can stop here.
As the law -- let's not stop here.
Moving on.

As you can see, the hallway is still lined by amazingly protective sheets of transparent plastic.
I understand if you feel weary or exhausted or as if you cannot go on and would rather sit down and die, but allow me to remind you that, legally, you are not allowed to stop at any time save for when instructed.
Legally.
Yes, moving on.


Now we stop.
At this point in the tour, it is customary and mandatory that all males over the age of 13 come forward.
Thank you.
Now any women over the age of 16, come forward.
Katie? Oh, Katie...you...thank you, everyone.
That's it, then.
Well, on behalf of all of us here at Schecter House, thank you for your patronage.
Don't forget my name on your way out!

HWPS
Apr 3, 2015
Hello. I am in.

Also, a nice banner ad might be something about not fearing the reaper, and then the scythe swipes and it says the name. Cuz this poo poo is scary.

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