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crabrock posted:
The city you assign me will be most unfortunate.
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Nov 6, 2015 10:46
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KAIJU!! 
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 18:59 |
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crabrock posted:Perth, Australia And I wasn't mindful of the deadline (sorry! I'm new here! I am trying to figure this out), but dude, Perth is hosed even without a kaiju. Think about it. Those things originate in Japan. Granted, the guy before me got Busan, and that is a tasty place to start, but as the kaiju crawls its way across the Pacific, Perth, the single most isolated city on the planet, is the only conceivable pit stop to get its godzilla on en route to Sydney and Los Angeles. Chowing down on these golden people from the land down under is the only conceivable fuel for the kaiju to storm its way across the outback, stomping on venemous creatures in anticipation of the myriad tasties on the Gold Coast. Once again, my deepest apologies. Please afford me one more chance~
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Nov 9, 2015 11:59
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I'll  this time.
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Nov 11, 2015 11:51
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Caveat Emptor 1,071 words "An older man says the full grown Pekinese he purchased at a dog show is wild when it's home." ”95 southbound continues to be slow with two lanes of traffic blocked after the three-car collision earlier on this afternoon…” Marty snorted to himself as he changed the station. He wondered why he even bothered to listen to traffic reports when he knew full that he couldn’t change his route home, anyway. It had been a frustrating day at the golf course. It hadn’t been a particularly windy day, excepting, of course when it was his turn to tee off. He wanted to go home after he’d hit his third sand trap, but it would have been rude to deny his former business partner the joy of snickering as he struggled to salvage each hole into a double-bogie. It would not have taken Marty much introspection to recognize the true cause of his poor performance, but sitting in a three-lane parking lot wasn’t exactly a bastion of zen; it was yet another annoyance assaulting Marty’s annoying life. The accident wasn’t his fault, nor was the windy weather, and nor was the classical music station’s abysmal selection in afternoon programming. The fluffy ball of white terror waiting at home wasn’t his fault either. As traffic crawled its way forward, Marty’s heart sank as he realized that he’d forgotten to crate Bubbles before he left for the day. Show dogs aren’t just housebroken; they represent the pinnacle of training and behavior. Marty could have chosen to raise his own puppy, but he much preferred to spend his retirement time wining, dining, and trying not to embarrass himself at the links. $2000 should afford you a puppy with a future, perhaps for showing, perhaps for breeding, and perhaps either both. $2000 should afford you a full-grown dog whose show days are over, who deserves its own retirement of steadfast companionship. $2000 is too much to ask for a beast that tears through the house, gnaws on table legs and loose paper, and takes apparent pleasure in pissing on the daybed and defecating on the white carpet. The kitchen tile was two loving feet away, goddammit. As Marty finally got his sedan up to a cruising speed of 15 miles per hour, he tried not to let his mind wander back to whatever horrors he would find at home. More of the same would be bad enough, but the tight feeling in his belly knew that the possibilities were endless. Marty pulled into his garage, shifted his car into park, and sat in silence for a minute before he turned off the engine. Until he opened the door into his house, the possibility existed that its current state was only as bad as it had been when he'd left. His movements were heavy and deliberate as he retrieved his golf clubs from the trunk, approached the door, and turned the handle. No yipping. No frantic energy. He walked in through his laundry room; he saw no fresh surprises as he set his clubs down against the wall. He continued on into the kitchen. No obvious damage. Nothing was in disarray in the living room. There were no new spots or odors. Oh no… Marty pursed his lips. She must be in my bedroom. The bedroom door was closed; This couldn't be good. Bubbles must have been trapped in there all day. poo poo. He entered, afraid of what he would find where, but his bed was still made and the carpet was still clean. The master bathroom was slightly cluttered, but not abnormally so. Marty scratched his chin, puzzled. Had Bubbles suddenly decided to calm down and behave herself? Where was Bubbles, anyway? “Bubbles? Are you in here?” Marty walked through the house, whistling and calling Bubbles by name, over and over. She wasn’t under the bed, nor under the living room sofa, and as Marty found himself opening cabinet doors and rooting through drawers he didn’t even slow down to question his sanity. He’d been completely out of his mind for the last week anyway. Marty collapsed onto his couch, exasperated as he called Bubbles’s former owner. ”The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave your message after the tone.” Perfect. “Louise, it’s Marty. Bubbles has been a complete disaster. You assured me that she was fully trained and well-behaved. She doesn’t take to a leash, she does her business all over the house, and she’s running wild and chewing everything up and now I can’t even find her.” I need to to come over to retrieve her, and I’ll be expecting a full refund.” —- When Louise finally checked her phone and saw 5 unplayed messages, she knew what was coming. She walked into her kitchen and stooped down to let her dogs out of their kennels. Their ears perked up, and they emerged, eager for the sliding glass door to open onto Louise’s vast, fragrant backyard. Heidi, her German Shepherd, was always first to approach the door and sit down, containing her excitement as she stared forward. Jessica, her Border Collie, sniffed at her ankles, trying to discern where she’d been all day. Finally, her Pekingese trotted out behind Heidi, looking back and forth. “Go-od girls!” Louise approached the dog one by one, offering each a single treat out of the palm of her hand before she unlocked the back door and slid it open. Heidi dashed out into the yard while Jessica calmly followed. “What’s the matter, Bubbles? You don’t have to go?” Bubbles sat and looked up at Louise, who bent over to scratch her behind the ears. Owning two dogs with the same name was no crime. Marty had papers for a Pekingese named Bubbles, and a Pekingese named Bubbles was exactly what he had received. —- ”Marty! There you are!” “Hmph. Took you long enough. So this is Bubbles?” “Yes, here she is. Say hi, Bubbles!” Bubbles yipped. “Her papers and vaccination history are all in here. Do you have any questions? Do you want to get to know her a little before it’s settled?” “I don’t think so, I’ve owned several Pekingese dogs before, and she performed well enough in her division, so she’s going to be exactly what I’m looking for.” He placed the $2000 check on the table, taking the envelope in one hand and the hard plastic crate in the other.
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Nov 16, 2015 07:59
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