Post Funny Panels: Maximum Bogosity

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > BSS: Bisexual Super Son > Post Funny Panels: Maximum Bogosity

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Red Bones posted:

I love this so much because it makes me imagine the artist in the 1940s having like, one week to draw this comic in and only a vague secondhand idea of what a panther looks like.

# ¿ Apr 7, 2021 08:04

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# ¿ May 5, 2024 10:14

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Superman #330 (1978)

SimonChris fucked around with this message at 21:08 on Apr 8, 2021

# ¿ Apr 8, 2021 20:49

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

3D Megadoodoo posted:

1939?

Oops, that's the date of the first Superman comic, of course. Fixed.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2021 21:10

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero #10 (1982)

My biggest issue with this comic is that we never get to see any Cobra brand household cleaning products.

SimonChris fucked around with this message at 20:16 on May 5, 2021

# ¿ May 5, 2021 20:06

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Elfface posted:

The soap company wasn't a front for Cobra, they evolved into Cobra.

They still kept running the soap MLM long after they had evolved into their final form.

# ¿ May 6, 2021 08:31

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Bucnasti posted:

What exactly was Cobras longer term plan at this point? I mean Cobraville seemed like a nice enough place to live and upwardly mobile crimson guard seems like a pretty good gig. Why was Cobra Commander a villian again?

He seems like a great guy to work for, in general:

Later:

G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero #9 (1982)

I love how everyone expects Cobra Commander to be the kind of villain who takes things out on his henchmen, but he just sees every defeat as a delightful opportunity.

Also, the implication that all of the G.I. Joe victories are just minor annoyances to Cobra, who have bigger things going on behind the scenes.

Taerkar posted:

Didn't someone do a Lets Read of the old GI Joe comics a number of years back?

There were several attempts, but they all died pretty early in the run.

# ¿ May 6, 2021 16:31

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Found the actual issue, so here is a higher quality scan with more details:

G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero #29 (1984)

Elissimpark posted:

"What? Joe is attacking in the middle of my sales seminar? Okay everyone, impromptu team building exercise! Form fireteams with people who you haven't introduced yourself to yet."

Cobra Commander was explicitly modelled on William F. Buckley Jr, as a guy who is mostly in it to hear his own voice.

# ¿ May 6, 2021 18:06

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Superboy #131 (1966)

Poor Krypto, his powers a so lame in comparison

# ¿ May 30, 2021 19:25

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Sadly, he does not choose "Bark Bent".

Superboy #131 (1966)

# ¿ May 30, 2021 20:15

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

The year is 1988.

The Soviet Union has just begun its "perestroika" program of economic restructuring. The Phantom of the Opera opens on Broadway. George H. W. Bush deafeats Michael Dukakis, in the 1988 United States Presidential Election.

It is the 50th anniversary of Superman.

To celebrate this occasion, DC Comics challenges overseas comics publishers to publish their very own Superman stories, with full permission from DC. For some reason, the only people to answer the call are the editors from the small Danish publisher Interpresse. The result is "Superman og Fredsbomben" ("Superman and the Peace Bomb", aka. "Superman: A Tale of Five Cities").

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superman:_A_Tale_of_Five_Cities

The comic is translated to several other European languages but never into English, and it is never published in the US. Even the Danish original is now long out of print and hard to find. DC never again gave anyone else permission to write Superman stories. It is to date the only Superman story ever published outside of the US; certainly the only one not available in English!

Why was the story never translated to English or published in the US? Why did DC Comics never again permit Europeans to write Superman stories?

The answers to these questions have been unavailable to the English-speaking world for more than 30 years.

UNTIL NOW!

"Superman and the Peace Bomb".

Since Europe did not have proper closed phone booths at the time, the writers opted to let Superman change in public lavatories.

Who are the mysterious boat people who drag people away by their hair while doing sick jumps? Who is this Theo guy, anyway? Do superheroes use the bathroom?

Find the answers to these questions and more in the next thrilling installment of ..... *dramatic voice* SUPERMAN AND THE PEACE BOMB!

Danish originals here.

SimonChris fucked around with this message at 20:26 on Jun 2, 2021

# ¿ Jun 2, 2021 20:15

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

3D Megadoodoo posted:

I think Nembo Kid would like to have a word with you. And I bet he's not the only one.

That seems like a rip-off, not an authorized Superman story. It's not the same thing.

# ¿ Jun 2, 2021 22:16

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

IYKK posted:

Hey, I've read this. It was translated to Swedish as St�lmannen i Stockholm (Superman in Stockholm). Now I know why it felt a bit off. Not very good, but I checked it out from the library at least twice nonetheless.

Yes, that's the one. Superman visits five scenic European countries, so each country had an opportunity to publish "Superman in Our Country / Capital!".

Anyway,

Is Wyatt's incredible story true? Or is the CIA right about him? Why would the CCCP bomb a banana stand? Find out the answers in the next thrilling installment!

# ¿ Jun 3, 2021 14:51

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Scuttle_SE posted:

It was my pleasure.

For those who want to randomly browse the stuff uploaded to Waffleimages, check out https://randomwaffle.gbs.fm

Disclaimer: I can't guarantee images popping up there are even close to being SFW, so be careful...

Oh, and check out https://gbs.fm if you wanna listen to horrible music selected by equally horrible people.

I was going through this, and this panel came up:

# ¿ Jun 10, 2021 20:27

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Super Dan posted:

Yep. Action Comics #12.

From the Funny Forum Quotes thread. Superman declares war on cars.

# ¿ Jun 17, 2021 19:53

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Uncanny X-Men #12 (2013)

# ¿ Jun 21, 2021 14:52

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

New X-Men #125 (2011)

New X-Men #131 (2011)

"I am also learning to play the drums."

SimonChris fucked around with this message at 17:57 on Jun 23, 2021

# ¿ Jun 23, 2021 17:55

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

No idea about the issue.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2021 20:40

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Push El Burrito posted:

Yeah and if I remember right it somehow gets Umar involved to which Dr. Strange has to turn to Zom for help and uh oh that wasn't a good idea...

Strange Tales #156 (1967)

Strange Tales #157 (1967)

I can't remember how Umar got involved in the first place, but this entire sequence is hilarious. "Let's release ever more powerful cosmic horrors, to chase away the previous ones! What could possibly go wrong?"

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 11:38

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Synthbuttrange posted:

The funny thing is that Dr. Strange's money problems had been an ongoing subplot in the previous issues, but I guess the writers just didn't know where to go with it.

# ¿ Aug 18, 2021 09:45

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

DCeased: Dead Planet #2

# ¿ Sep 19, 2021 14:23

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Superman: A Tale of Five Cities (1990)

# ¿ Oct 31, 2021 16:15

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Fantastic Four #276 (1985)

Sue and Reed are trying to live incognito in disguise, so they throw a housewarming party. See how many of their guests you can recognize!

Hi & Lois
Joe & Anne Palooka
Dick Tracy
The Lockhorns
Skeezix
Jiggs
Henry Mitchell (father of Dennis the Menace)
Blondie and Dagwood Bumstead
Dagwood's best friend Herb Woodley

They are living on comic strip avenue, I guess.

SimonChris fucked around with this message at 13:05 on Nov 15, 2021

# ¿ Nov 15, 2021 13:02

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Don't know the issue.

# ¿ Feb 16, 2022 10:52

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Darthemed posted:

Blue Beetle #24 (1943)

I looked this up, and it also contains the following amazing sequence:

Blue Beetle #24 (1943)

I love the idea of a superhero who hides his identity by wearing a rubber mask on top of his superhero mask.

# ¿ Feb 18, 2022 15:39

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Uncanny X-Men #123 (1979)

# ¿ Feb 21, 2022 21:53

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Spectacular Spider-Man #121 (1986)

Jonah J. Jameson tells his version of the robbery at The Roshomon Bank.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2022 18:28

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Immortal Hulk: Great Power (2020)

I love it when Spiderman surprises people with his science skills.

# ¿ May 20, 2022 13:25

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

A Strange Aeon posted:

And later:

I've been really enjoying Golden Age Superman--there's a social consciousness that I don't really associate with the comic books I grew up reading which seemed more into continuity and soap opera drama.

Not that these panels necessarily represent that, but in an earlier issue he was demolishing slums and tricking brokers who were scamming people and working to make the streets safer from reckless drivers and stuff like that.

Action Comics #12 (1939)

# ¿ May 28, 2022 15:23

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

https://twitter.com/Hoganmag/status/1541406939804041219

# ¿ Jun 28, 2022 17:41

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Batman #424 (1988)

# ¿ Jun 30, 2022 19:11

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Brute Force #1 (1990)

Brute Force #2 (1990)

SimonChris fucked around with this message at 08:31 on Aug 15, 2022

# ¿ Aug 15, 2022 08:27

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Sandman Presents: Lucifer #1 (1999)

I love the line "you'd think part of omniscience would be knowing when to stop." I need to get into more theological debates, so I can use it.

"Free will is an illusion because God knows what are you going to do. :catholic:

"

"You'd think part of omniscience would be knowing when to stop. :rolleyes:

# ¿ Aug 27, 2022 21:27

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Skwirl posted:

I'm pretty sure a lot of the hilarity was intentional.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXIRt0uG3D0

# ¿ Aug 28, 2022 08:46

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

The Incredible Hulk #256 (1980)

# ¿ Sep 13, 2022 17:30

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Recent discussion of the Valerian reminded me of how the movie removes the central gag from the story that they are vaguely adapting: The macho space hero is kidnapped at the beginning of the story, leaving the female sidekick to resolve the crisis on her own, while having to deal with hysterical men who crack under pressure:

Valerian and Laureline: Ambassador of the Shadows (1975)

# ¿ Dec 24, 2022 11:15

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Valerian and Laureline: Heroes of the Equinox (1978)

Valerian ends up winning the contest, by virtue of being the only contestant who isn't a pretentious dick.

SimonChris fucked around with this message at 19:01 on Dec 27, 2022

# ¿ Dec 25, 2022 22:21

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Brazilianpeanutwar posted:

Love this art.

Have some more, then!

Valerian and Laureline: Heroes of the Equinox (1978)

Psychedelic visions win the day. A true 70's comic.

# ¿ Dec 27, 2022 19:02

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

There doesn't seem to be a thread for posting villains being huge dicks, but I find this hilarious due to the sheer unmitigated pettiness:

Superman #9 (1987)

The joke is that real-life rich assholes do way worse stuff. Come on, Luthor, this is just pathetic.

# ¿ Dec 29, 2022 17:30

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Superman #9 (1987) (Yes, same issue as Luthor and the waitress)

# ¿ Dec 30, 2022 09:11

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# ¿ May 5, 2024 10:14

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Argue posted:

That doesn't answer anything! If the coffins were empty, how did Superman find where they actually were?

Superman was supposed to waste his time searching for the coffins while the Joker carried out his plans. Having found the coffins immediately, Superman had plenty of time to scan the city normally until he found them.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2022 10:06

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > BSS: Bisexual Super Son > Post Funny Panels: Maximum Bogosity

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