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Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

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Gooble Gobble
May 2, 2011

One of us

FAT SLAMPIG posted:

gently caress the army

qtiyd

psydude
Mar 31, 2008

how's everyone's peacetime army experience goin?

iceslice
May 20, 2005

Gonna break the trend.

Army loving rules.
Regular paycheck. Can't get fired.
GI Bill
VA Loan
VA Health Benefits
Tuition Assistance
30 days of vacation a year
Mental and physical programs
Daycare
Training out the rear end

QTIYD

psydude posted:

how's everyone's peacetime army experience goin?

Still got homies getting after it regularly. NPR had a quick story about who is still going out, and who is transitioning.

iceslice fucked around with this message at 00:14 on Jan 2, 2015

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

iceslice posted:

Gonna break the trend.

Army loving rules.
Regular paycheck. Can't get fired.
GI Bill
VA Loan
VA Health Benefits
Tuition Assistance
30 days of vacation a year
Mental and physical programs
Daycare
Training out the rear end

QTIYD

die in a fire tia

Justin Tyme
Feb 22, 2011


gently caress the army

gi bill rules, being out rules

Suntan Boy
May 27, 2005
Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.



psydude posted:

how's everyone's peacetime army experience goin?

I got yelled out of a SOM board for my hair being too long and my leaders book too short. I wasn't even playing, just sponsoring the dude.

Garrison army best army.

Suntan Boy fucked around with this message at 01:41 on Jan 2, 2015

psydude
Mar 31, 2008

I have drill next weekend. Haven't shaved since August and I don't even know where my uniforms are.

Woof Blitzer
Dec 29, 2012

[-]

iceslice posted:

Gonna break the trend.

Army loving rules.
Regular paycheck. Can't get fired.
GI Bill
VA Loan
VA Health Benefits
Tuition Assistance
30 days of vacation a year
Mental and physical programs
Daycare
Training out the rear end

QTIYD


Still got homies getting after it regularly. NPR had a quick story about who is still going out, and who is transitioning.

"Training out the rear end"

Ace of Baes
Jul 7, 1977
theory i have; the less combat oriented a unit is, the more they puff up their chest and talk about being ready to fight, "when the poo poo hits the fan" etc.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

psydude posted:

I have drill next weekend

im sorry

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

psydude posted:

I have drill next weekend. Haven't shaved since August and I don't even know where my uniforms are.

do you have drill depression yet

psydude
Mar 31, 2008

FAT SLAMPIG posted:

do you have drill depression yet

I have a whole new outlook on drill: at least it's only two days out of the month. Imagine the poor fuckers in the regular army who have to put up with that poo poo every day of the week.

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

psydude posted:

I have a whole new outlook on drill: at least it's only two days out of the month. Imagine the poor fuckers in the regular army who have to put up with that poo poo every day of the week.

if they were stupid enough to sign up for it then they deserve nothing less

Mike-o
Dec 25, 2004

Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed


Grimey Drawer

FAT SLAMPIG posted:

if they were stupid enough to sign up for it then they deserve nothing less

even stupider if you get out of active and go guard.

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

Mike-o posted:

even stupider if you get out of active and go guard.

yeah by that point you should def know well enough

Fucitol
May 8, 2005

Ceterum autem censeo mundum esse delendam



Memento, homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris
gently caress you if you're still in.

Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009

Fucitol posted:

gently caress you

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D

iceslice posted:

Gonna break the trend.

Army loving rules.
Regular paycheck. Can't get fired.
GI Bill
VA Loan
VA Health Benefits
Tuition Assistance
30 days of vacation a year
Mental and physical programs
Daycare
Training out the rear end

QTIYD



gently caress off troll

Aranan
May 21, 2007

Release the Kraken
What's it like being permanent party on a TRADOC base?

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u
Super dumb.

You should get out early most days days though.

Forget any kind of training except for the occasional land nav,

If you are combat arms expect the hooah hardcore combat arms is the greatest to get worse, despite the fact that you are now a pogue bitch if you weren't already.

Aranan
May 21, 2007

Release the Kraken
Okay, so it's still the Army. Good to know.

I may be going to Gordon. I'm a pogue bitch now and would be there, too, so whatever. Not sure if I'd even interact with the TRADOC part of the base, tbh. Probably best if it works out that I don't.

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u
It really is best that you don't.

When units in TRADOC can't pretend that they actually do something, they start screaming poo poo about STANDARDS and DISCIPLINE, and you get dumb poo poo like regulation fights and it's really best that no one be involved in it ever.

McSpatula
Aug 5, 2006
Sleep with all the IET joes.

Painsaw
Jul 3, 2008

Butts lol
Being permanent party on fort Knox was awesome. I pulled on site emergency medical insanity for basic trainees and LTs going through ARC and BOLC. Never a dull moment, got all kinds of patient care experience.

Mostly from LTs.

The ways those dumb motherfuckers hurt themselves... all privates ever did was slip and fall down. It took an LT to try to stop a runaway 50 cal with his hand.

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Painsaw posted:

It took an LT to try to stop a runaway 50 cal with his hand.
:gonk:

Painsaw
Jul 3, 2008

Butts lol
So no poo poo there I was, a bright and spiffy monday or some poo poo. I forget which range this was on at Knox, it was the ARC/BOLC range way out down the highway... 17 I think? Anyways.

I was astutely checking over the readiness of the interior of my warm FLA (read: asleep like a motherfucker), when someone came a'bangin at my door. Hark, who bangs at the medics door? Unless it's something really bad, go gently caress yourself, forevermore.

"Uhhh... doc?" The hidden speaker said, with that edge to his voice that immediately sent my medical cock to full turgidity. I burst from the doors, ready to dispense with some medicine, whether they liked it or not. But what do I see? A lone LT, standing in front of me, gripping his wrist as blood slowly seeps from his issued nomex glove. His eyes met mine, wide with panic. His brow, sweaty. His cock, flaccid.

"What the gently caress!?"

I took in the immediate situation with but a glance. An NCO sauntered up, a cigar sprouting from his maw in a cavalier fashion. A parrot sat upon his shoulder. "Brawwwk, do as I say, not as I do!" it squawked. He filled me in. The NCO, not the parrot. Apparently LT dumbfuck had an... issue with one of the 50 cals on top of one of their tanks. It decided it wanted to be a free 50 cal, to run wild through the woods, spreading it's good cheer on all the unsuspecting childrens. But instead of merely hiding like a good LT, or breaking the belt, or hell, just sitting there with a stupid look on his face, the LT opens the weapon.

And grabs the front of the bolt face with his gloved hand.

The glove, which without his hand would have been pulped before you could say 'AAR!', was the only thing holding his mangled man-pleaser together. How was he going to get a right-justified OER with this!? I looked him dead in his eyes. They were cold, dead eyes, like a doll's eyes. I licked one of his tears, and spake: "Jesus gently caress, sir, that glove is the only thing holding your goddamn hand together, gently caress if I'm poking around at that. Hold that poo poo above your head and let's get you to the fuckin hospital."

And so, we went.

The really great part about this story? This happened on monday.

A totally different fuckface officer did the exact same goddamn thing on the following friday.

I got a stern talking to for laughing at him.

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

I dropped my sister off at the airport today and was treated to a bunch of E1's and E2's saying goodbye to their families as they returned home from Christmas Exodus from basic.

I'm really glad I didn't have to deal with that when I went. Seems like an amazing hassle.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Opening the feed tray cover of a runaway gun. :psyduck: By the way, did you ever meet a medic at Knox who was missing a couple fingers from a hazing incident?

Painsaw
Jul 3, 2008

Butts lol
Yep, him and I are still pretty good friends.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

He's a cool guy, pulled a fast one on me telling the story like it was another guy who got hazed. Then he held up his phone to show a picture of the injury in such a way that I noticed he was missing some digits.

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D

Aranan posted:

Okay, so it's still the Army. Good to know.

I may be going to Gordon. I'm a pogue bitch now and would be there, too, so whatever. Not sure if I'd even interact with the TRADOC part of the base, tbh. Probably best if it works out that I don't.

Congrats on going to one of the most boring duty stations known to man. Make sure you stop at every crosswalk.

Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

He's a cool guy, pulled a fast one on me telling the story like it was another guy who got hazed. Then he held up his phone to show a picture of the injury in such a way that I noticed he was missing some digits.

you gonna have to tell us this tale of woe sir

Painsaw
Jul 3, 2008

Butts lol
He sure smiled at life. Although life hasn't smiled on him too much. He ended up getting beaten with the claw end of a hammer, by his wife. Then got the poo poo beat out of him by the MPs.

He still came out on top though!

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Didn't hear the claw hammer story but I met this guy a little over five years ago. He started telling us about this guy who was getting hazed and part of it was getting his hand slammed in a door and then the hazers throwing him out in the snow. He asked if we wanted to see a picture he took of the guy's injury, and when he held up the phone to show us we noticed he was missing fingers. It was funny because my brain took a couple seconds to register and put together the puzzle pieces.

Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009
thats some rough business

worst hazing result i saw was making stupid dehydrated boots pt til they had heat stroke. kinda crazy how easy it is to make someone into a retard

nescience
Jan 24, 2011

h'okay
I understand that this might be a dumb thing to ask, but if we want to volunteer to deploy, who do we talk to? Our career counselor?

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

nescience posted:

I understand that this might be a dumb thing to ask, but if we want to volunteer to deploy, who do we talk to? Our career counselor?

where the hell would you deploy

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

FAT SLAMPIG posted:

where the hell would you deploy
Forward Operating Base Couch, Relaxinstan

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iceslice
May 20, 2005

nescience posted:

I understand that this might be a dumb thing to ask, but if we want to volunteer to deploy, who do we talk to? Our career counselor?

You're best bet is to find a unit that is going, and then make up a reason to join them.

I'd tell them I'm the only 42a qualified to shoot HIMARS, and they have to have me to meet some reg.

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