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Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009

iceslice posted:

You're best bet is to find a unit that is going, and then make up a reason to join them.

I'd tell them I'm the only 42a qualified to shoot HIMARS, and they have to have me to meet some reg.

wait i thought you were a snake eater not some hr scrub

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tyler
Jun 2, 2014

iceslice posted:

Gonna break the trend.

Army loving rules.
Regular paycheck. Can't get fired.
GI Bill
VA Loan
VA Health Benefits
Tuition Assistance
30 days of vacation a year
Mental and physical programs
Daycare
Training out the rear end

QTIYD


Still got homies getting after it regularly. NPR had a quick story about who is still going out, and who is transitioning.

gently caress you.

Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009

Master Bateman posted:

gently caress you.

Nimmy
Feb 20, 2011

Soon young Melvin.
Your time will come.

nescience posted:

I understand that this might be a dumb thing to ask, but if we want to volunteer to deploy, who do we talk to? Our career counselor?

So um... everyone on KAF right now has to march in formation everywhere. It's been going on for well over a month. Rethink what you want.

Painsaw
Jul 3, 2008

Butts lol
loving what. Why!?

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Painsaw posted:

loving what. Why!?

"Garrison standards are being brought back up to professional military standards, there's no reason we should not follow this standard in theater."
\
:chiefsay:

Painsaw
Jul 3, 2008

Butts lol
Who the gently caress marches everywhere in formation in garrison? I think I saw a platoon do that once, cuz they hosed up.

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u
On Benning we used to see the marines stationed there always going places in formation.

And this is why we can't win wars. Not concerned about putting bullets in domes, more concerned about how people look when they walk somewhere.

psydude
Mar 31, 2008

Jesus. Even BAF wasn't that gay before I left.

Mike-o
Dec 25, 2004

Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed


Grimey Drawer
Just picture that strip from terminal lance where he's fat and laughing at Marines (soldiers) outside the PX or whatever. That's me right now, lmbo.

iceslice
May 20, 2005

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

wait i thought you were a snake eater not some hr scrub

Yah.. its why acting like an HR scrub is hilarious. People have no clue whats going on, so you just pillage and plunder their coffee, bagels and women and then walk away.

Nimmy
Feb 20, 2011

Soon young Melvin.
Your time will come.

Painsaw posted:

loving what. Why!?

Because the sergeant major says so

Justin Tyme
Feb 22, 2011


Nimmy posted:

So um... everyone on KAF right now has to march in formation everywhere. It's been going on for well over a month. Rethink what you want.

taliban psyops, allahu ackbar

nescience
Jan 24, 2011

h'okay

FAT SLAMPIG posted:

where the hell would you deploy

Talking to people who are still being sent over to Iraq, which at first I found hilarious because we "ended combat operations" over there, like 4 times already.

nescience fucked around with this message at 02:49 on Jan 5, 2015

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u
Yeah, congratulations on being the next edition of the exposure to burn pits list.

Triggs
Nov 23, 2005

Tango Down!

psydude posted:

how's everyone's peacetime army experience goin?

From HHC XO to Rear-D XO :suicide:

I don't have enough alcohol for this

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Triggs posted:

From HHC XO to Rear-D XO :suicide:

I don't have enough alcohol for this
I'm so sorry.

psydude
Mar 31, 2008

Triggs posted:

From HHC XO to Rear-D XO :suicide:

I don't have enough alcohol for this

Which general's daughter did you get caught loving to get stuck with being an XO two assignments in a row?

Aranan
May 21, 2007

Release the Kraken
Got a text during lunch. "1SG and PSG said you have to go to promotion board in two weeks."

Lowly SPC here and this will be my first board. I'll google for study guides or whatever, but anyone have some basic pointers so I don't look like a complete idiot (just a half-idiot is my goal).

Vasudus
May 30, 2003
Even if you don't know the real answer, sound confident in whatever answer you spit out.

This applies to many things in life.

bird food bathtub
Aug 9, 2003

College Slice

Aranan posted:

Got a text during lunch. "1SG and PSG said you have to go to promotion board in two weeks."

Lowly SPC here and this will be my first board. I'll google for study guides or whatever, but anyone have some basic pointers so I don't look like a complete idiot (just a half-idiot is my goal).

Unless things have changed wildly in the 35T environment it means gently caress-all for you anyway. Listen to whatever more-retarded-than-usual dumb bullshit your first line tells you about knocking loudly exactly three times to prove you are a powerful and dynamic individual, sitting at the position of attention because you are a soldier at all times, maintaining eye contact because it's the only thing dogs and SNCOs understand of human body language and then skate the gently caress out of there secure in the knowledge that every moment of that experience was completely wasted and 35T never gets promoted anyway.

Aranan
May 21, 2007

Release the Kraken

SumYungGui posted:

Unless things have changed wildly in the 35T environment it means gently caress-all for you anyway. Listen to whatever more-retarded-than-usual dumb bullshit your first line tells you about knocking loudly exactly three times to prove you are a powerful and dynamic individual, sitting at the position of attention because you are a soldier at all times, maintaining eye contact because it's the only thing dogs and SNCOs understand of human body language and then skate the gently caress out of there secure in the knowledge that every moment of that experience was completely wasted and 35T never gets promoted anyway.

Ha, no. It's still the same from what I can tell. Even if I blow them away, it means gently caress all because promotion points.

I'll just stare everyone down and yell loudly. Seems to be how everything else in the Army works, anyway. :)

Full Battle Rattle
Aug 29, 2009

As long as the times refuse to change, we're going to make a hell of a racket.
God, I forgot what an insane ritual the board is.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Bring the heads of thirteen slain enemies to the board. Refuse to leave until promoted.

Vasudus
May 30, 2003

Full Battle Rattle posted:

God, I forgot what an insane ritual the board is.

I give it a year before you can't count awards gotten during OIF/OEF for promotions.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Vasudus posted:

I give it a year before you can't count awards gotten during OIF/OEF for promotions.

As if the BS COAs some junior enlisted got screwed with instead of awards counted in the first place.

Woof Blitzer
Dec 29, 2012

[-]
Ask for a soldier of the month board so you can get premium parking.

Vasudus
May 30, 2003

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

As if the BS COAs some junior enlisted got screwed with instead of awards counted in the first place.

I don't think COAs counted anyway. I was talking about real awards though. Dudes got hella jelly in the 90s and wouldn't let real awards given in wartime situations count because it was an "unfair advantage".

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Aranan posted:

Got a text during lunch. "1SG and PSG said you have to go to promotion board in two weeks."

Lowly SPC here and this will be my first board. I'll google for study guides or whatever, but anyone have some basic pointers so I don't look like a complete idiot (just a half-idiot is my goal).
If you're going to the board, you've really already been selected for promotion. E5 board is cake.

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D
Just sound confident. I sat in on a board and one of the few questions that were infantry related was the max effective range of a 203. It's something like 400m. Dude said 800m.

:) are you sure it's 800m?
:colbert: I'M POSITIVE SARNT

There were a few moments where he was blatantly wrong but they liked his confidence and he passed.

Study, but don't put as much pressure on yourself as everyone else because it's really, really loving easy.

Justin Tyme
Feb 22, 2011


Aranan posted:

Got a text during lunch. "1SG and PSG said you have to go to promotion board in two weeks."

Lowly SPC here and this will be my first board. I'll google for study guides or whatever, but anyone have some basic pointers so I don't look like a complete idiot (just a half-idiot is my goal).

They should put out a..... forget what it is called exactly, but it's a list of everyone who is going to the board and a list of all members of the board and the topics they will be covering. Now I feel like an idiot for not remembering what it is called.

Get that, and study all topics listed. Also remember like the morning of the board to check the news and find a good 2-3 important world events- people like to overlook this but SGM always likes asking about current events after you give your bio. Also unit history- definitely know the unit crest and what all the symbols mean, and a basic timeline going back to the unit's inception. Medal of honor winners from the unit, too, if you have any.

This was for infantry boards, but I imagine any Army board is going to start with you giving a bio about yourself, some unit history, and current events. Also make sure you knock on the door like a man, for some reason in this stupid mickey mouse ritual that is important. There is a book that they sell at the PX that's called like "Passing the Board" or something, and it is full of commonly-asked questions. Worth picking up, or ask around your unit because someone is bound to have one.

Justin Tyme fucked around with this message at 22:33 on Jan 6, 2015

TPSDude
Apr 7, 2011

Tank Goon
Your thinking of the Memorandum of Instruction(MOI) for his unit board. He should be able to pick it up from his company training room or S1, it will list what hot army topics will be covered by each board member, poo poo like unit history, CLS, Sharp and EO regs!

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D

TPSDude posted:

Your thinking of the Memorandum of Instruction(MOI) for his unit board. He should be able to pick it up from his company training room or S1, it will list what hot army topics will be covered by each board member, poo poo like unit history, CLS, Sharp and EO regs!

I got mine like two days before the board because my training room was such a joke.

Go straight to s1.

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!
You guys are thinking way too hard about this.

http://www.armystudyguide.com/

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

not clicking that link on principle. never going back to that lovely site.

Mike-o
Dec 25, 2004

Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed


Grimey Drawer

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

not clicking that link on principle. never going back to that lovely site.

:lol: i hovered over the link for a second and then i was like "gently caress that, don't even want to see anything even tangentially related to the army"

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D

Mike-o posted:

:lol: i hovered over the link for a second and then i was like "gently caress that, don't even want to see anything even tangentially related to the army"

-Posted in army thread

Mike-o
Dec 25, 2004

Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed


Grimey Drawer
if you post something from AKO you'll trigger me and i just don't know what i'll do, i don't think i can handle it.
this is my safespace to hate the army in :ohdear:

bird food bathtub
Aug 9, 2003

College Slice

Spicy Guacamole posted:

If you're going to the board, you've really already been selected for promotion

What magical world do you live in where this is true?

It sure as gently caress isn't one 35T's inhabit.

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Stanley Goodspeed
Dec 26, 2005
What, the feet thing?



Infantry you were either golden long before you walked through the door or sent there as a joke and / or warning to others. I think I only ever saw one person not get promoted and that was because we has the 12 mile EIB march the same morning as the board and his feet got hosed up so he just didn't show up instead of having to hobble around in dress boots that didn't fit right.

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